Ruffy the Werewolf Cuddler

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JA from MNPP here. Perhaps you heard the news of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot that was announced yesterday? Strangely it sounded just like a couple million geeks exploding. E! got a written statement from the man who made Buffy in the first place and has nothing to do with this reboot, Joss Whedon, and he made with the funny:

"Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed."

He's referring to the new writer name-checked in the news, one Whit Anderson, whose IMDb page no doubt jumped about a billion percent in the span of a couple of hours. She's apparently a fan of the original series who came up with a "fresh" "funky" "fun" take. "This is not your high-school Buffy," exclaimed one producer! Well okay then! Who'd want that anyway? Pfft.

According to Anderson, she "will take the touchstones of the Whedon world but frame them in 'a new story' that is very much of the moment." Well as a fan - some might say fanatic - of Joss' show, I want to help Anderson out. Offer up some ways she can honor the show while making it new. Here are JA's rules for rebooting Buffy:


Because she is in the title, you've got to have a Buffy. But does her last name have to be Summers? I'd stay away from that. No Winters either. Stay away from seasons in general. And since this isn't our "high school Buffy," maybe she shouldn't be a cheerleader? She can't work at a fast-food place either. And no magic shops! Stay away from those. She shouldn't like to shop either, that's been done. And no dancing. No ice-skating. No climbing out her window at night. No crimped hair on a whim. No sudden disappearance of cleavage.

Under no circumstances can she have a sister that is a Key. Or a lock, or a door, or a doorstop, or one of those bells that jangles when someone comes through a door, or one of those sausage-shaped stuffed animals that sits at the bottom of a door and keeps out a draft.

As for her Scooby Gang (note: do not use the phrase "Scooby Gang"), there can't be a nerdy guy in love with her named Xander. Or Alexander. Or Alex. Or Al. Or Der. This non-character cannot live in his parent's basement, join the swim team, read comic books, or almost marry an ex-demon (you should probably avoid demons altogether). No librarians named Giles, or Rupert, or Ripper. You'll probably have to have a Watcher but call him or her something other than Watcher. Seer? Looker? There can't under any circumstances be a nerdy girl named Willow. No girls named Fern or Maple or Oak either. No variants of Deciduous. No Conifer. There can be no witches. There can be no lesbians. There can be no lesbian witches. You can however make magic into a drug addiction, because that was stupid.

Other names to avoid: Cordelia. Cordy. Mordelia. Mordy. Harmony. Melody. Harm. Parm. Oz. Ozzy. Fozzy. Fonzie.

Because they're in the title too there must be vampires. But she cannot fall for a vampire with a soul. Or a chip. She cannot be torn between two vampires or between a vampire and a werewolf - any attempts at Twilight-izing the Buffy name will lead to a rogue band of Buffy fans creating a time machine and going back in time to stop your parents from ever meeting each other.

No Angel. Angle. Spangle. Charlie Rangel. That last one just because that wouldn't make any sense. Why would Buffy take up with a disgraced Congressman? Tomfoolery. No Spike. William the Bloody. William the Lightly Salted. Bob the Builder.

There can be no Master or Mayor, no Glory or Adam. No Ruler or Governor or Splendor or Eve. No Summer's Eve. No Sunnydale. No Foggybog. No Hellmouth or Heckbellybutton.

There can be no musical. No music. No sound effects whatsoever. No dialogue. No curse of silence from fairy-tale goblins either! No lighting. No darkness either though, that has too many past connotations. No projected images on the screen. No actors, no director, no budget and no sets.

That about covers it. Good luck with your script, Whit!
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How Much Does Your Link Weigh?

Today's must read
Jinni Blog Christopher Korbel wrote a thinkpiece about a few of the Best Actor nominations from 2009 and what they're still telling us about today's men and their shared values.

The most unsettling of unanimously shared values is that they all reject their homes due to a strong desire for the Open Road. They all delight in living hermetically in the most estranged of environments.

Really interesting piece so go read it.

More?
Lazy Circles remembers Hitchcock star Farley Granger. We like Farley.
Natasha VC another Grace Zabriskie fan. Natasha speaks the truth.
I Need My Fix Lady Gaga leads the VMA nominations, and commandeers 40% of the Best Video category. As it should be.
All Things Fangirls Remember when we shared this hottie Disney princes in their undies. The tables are turned. The Disney girls have now been sufficiently sexed up.

The Film Doctor "Cinema and the Eye" These screenshots have blinded me! So spooky I had to look away.
Sunset Gun remembers Frances Farmer of Frances fame.
Tribeca Film Best in Show: Annette Bening.
NY Times "The Age of Laura Linney" I totally forgot to link to this over the weekend. I desperately want to see The C Word.

And totally random question of the day. Is David Boreanz getting younger every year? Or at least younger than he's been since he first left Buffy? Did he uncover some supernatural magics in all those Whedonverse years?

[photo src]

Falling in Link Again

cinema
Self Styled Siren terrific piece on memorable movie costumes. The Siren writes beautifully. My favorite write-ups are those for Breathless and Strangers on a Train.
Dennis Cozzalio has an amazing piece about the 35th anniversary of Robert Altman's Nashville, one of the best movies ever made.
Boy Culture on the new Burlesque stills and out writer/director Steve Antin. I'm excited for this movie but also fearful that it'll just be the Christina Aguilera show. That would be epically disappointing given the rest of the cast list: Cher, Tucci, Cumming, Bell.
Cinema Blend Viggo & Fassbender on the set of David Cronenberg's Freud/Jung picture Dangerous Method. Can't wait. So excited to see two of today's best actors in character.
Cinematical Neil Gaiman is sick of vampires.

movie stars
I Need My Fix Jude Law in the Czech Republic. Apparently Sadie Frost is writing a book about their marriage. Uh oh.
Old Hollywood Ernest Hemingway to Marlene Dietrich. Awesome quote.
Diva Asia Apparently Gong Li is now divorced. I'm not that concerned with her marriage. I just want her in some incredible movies again. Like something as good as Ju Dou? That's too much to ask, right? I can dream.

a Buffy moment
Flickr Holy Hellmouth, this "Buffy Alphabet" is awesome thus far.
Low Resolution has a three-part incredibly detailed interview with one of the writers on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you love Buffy you'll want to read it.

just for fun
pop licks "Best Headline Ever?" Maybe it is. It is pretty vivid.
Chateau Thombeau "Been There" hee x several.

....and because it's just amazing, the video "Big Bag Big Boom" by Blu.

BIG BAG BIG BOOM - the new wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

she'snotme. shedoesn'tlinkmyname. she'llneverlinkwhatihave. itwon'tbethesame.

Antagony & Ecstasy says these 10 are the best performances by an actress in history. Love the bookend choices so much.
i09 Megan Fox poses with her lesbian mannequin. This is easily my favorite Megan Fox performance
Cinema Blend Katey wants to see Christopher Nolan duke it out with James Cameron in a 3D debate. Me too
Movie|Line has updates on those Wizard of Oz projects


Mediaite Adventures in mispronounciations with Catherine Zeta-Jones. She's just a girl who c*** say no. She's in a terrible fix.
Low Resolution Joe Reid begins to count down his favorite Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes. Consider it a corrective to Logo's Spike crazy countdown. Read it because you love Buffy! [I'm guessing because all cool people do.]
My New Plaid Pants JA also makes a Best of Buffy list
PopEater talks to Carrie Fisher about Wishful Drinking. She always gives good interview
Socialite's Life Dakota Fanning has her priorities straight

And yes... I am aware that the first Sofia Coppola trailer "Somewhere" teaser debuted yesterday (while I was at dinner). I am unable to post about it right this second. Let's discuss several hours from now. It'll still be there.

Off Topic Just Cuz
Have you seen this mashup of Madonna / Gaga set to Madonna's underappreciated "She's Not Me" tune. It may be a slam on Gaga but it's still fun.



The way I kind of look at it is that I miss Madonna ALL THE TIME so if Madonna (my fav celeb ever) isn't going to make epic videos anymore -- and she hasn't been really trying in that realm, her very own kingdom (!), in awhile -- I need the Gaga.

P.S. I think there should be some sort of title moderation on YouTube. So many videos label themselves official this or that when they're something quite different. It can be absolutely maddening to search for a new movie trailer and have to wade through hundreds of bad fan videos or cheap gags first. The world OFFICIAL is more grossly overused on YouTube than "Exclusive" is on movie news sites or the naughty F word is in a Mamet play. That's how overused it is. For the love of search engines, please stop lying to the world.

Nashville Wrap Up 2: TiMER, Cleanflix, Jamie Travis, One Too Many Mornings

if you missed part one

I have a small window of time in Tribeca duties so I must wrap the unfortunately brief Nashville Film Festival coverage.

New Directors Competition
This is the jury that I served on along with Lou Harry A&E editor of the Indianapolis Business Journal and actor Brian O’Halloran who you’ll remember from Clerks. It's interesting to watch so many debut features back to back because patterns do emerge in regards to strengths and weaknesses within first efforts. The jury discussions were yet another reminder – as if I needed one covering the Oscars so closely each year – that one man’s treasure is another man’s… anyway, the discussions were lively and fun but so much disagreement! We ended up not spreading the wealth much because we were very divided about our slate of films and even the individual achievements within the films. Our two winners were both films with small casts performing tiny character implosions.

• Grand Jury Prize: Michael Mohan’s One Too Many Mornings
  I passed over this one at Sundance due to the title and description. My loss. Memorably shot and very well acted (not usually a strength in no budget indies), this black and white comedy brings two old friends together who are both having major life crises, though they're probably not the best sources of comfort or advice for one another. Alcoholism and male commitment problems aren't exactly fresh topics in film but it's all in the execution. There's enough idiosyncratic detail, smart filmmaking and sideways humor to keep this vivid and engaging. I'd eagerly take a second film from any of the people here which to me is a major test of a debut.
  
• Honorable Mention: Paul Cotter’s Bomber
  In this dramedy, a quick-tempered son takes his angry dad, a former airforce pilot, and chatty fussy mother on an anxiety-ridden roadtrip. Their vacation agenda is unclear but the father definitely has one. Bomber is a great title, because its clever beyond its literal meaning once you think over the film and the screenplay's construction.
  
• Best Actor: Anthony Deptula, One Too Many Mornings
  
• Best Actress: Eileen Nicholas, Bomber
  

Documentaries
I normally only catch a couple of doc titles so naturally I miss any fest winners. I saw City of Borders, an intriguing documentary about a gay bar on the border of Israel and Palestine. It gets good mileage from the depressing irony that the only community that seems to be cohabitating quite peacefully (the gay community) is the community that is reviled on both sides. I also caught the button pushing Cleanflix, about the idealogical/legal war between Hollywood directors and the Mormon entrepeneurs who reedit DVDs to clear them of dirty words and sex scenes (and small bits of extreme violence) to sell or rent them to people who can't handle such content. This documentary must have had a large budget because film clips are expensive to license but Cleanflix is loaded with hilarious examples of before/after sequences. My favorite was a scene from The Big Lebowski which entirely cuts out Bunny Lebowski (Tara Reid) but leaves in the dialogue addressed to her and reactions to her absent dialogue. So weird! Anything to avoid her aggressive bikini clad propositions, I suppose. The Cleanflix company even edits torture porn like the Saw series but draws the line at Brokeback Mountain 'for moral reasons'.

Here's to fucked up value systems!!!

Interestingly enough, I was speaking with the director of a small midwestern film festival after the movie and he asked what side I thought the movie was on? I said "Hollywood's obviously, 'my side'". He had the exact opposite reaction, believing the film came down firmly on the side of the Mormons, his side (though he doesn't share their fear of sex & swear words). Curious. The film gets a bit off track in its final act following the sex-crimes related incarceration of one of the many players in the 'scrub those dirty films' clean business! Oh the humanity.

• Grand Jury Prize: Marshall Curry’s Racing Dreams
• Honorable Mention: Taggart Siegel’s Queen of the Sun
  

Music Competition

• Grand Jury Prize: For Once in My Life
• Honorable Mention: For the Sake of the Song: The Story of Anderson Fair

Shorts Competition
I caught only one shorts compilation but aside from Applaus (see previous post) it was the highlight of my Nashville viewing experience. I'm nutty for the work of Jamie Travis so I knew I had to see the program "The Complete Works of Jamie Travis." I'd only previously see his Patterns Trilogy (trailer) which is one of my most favorite films filmobjects ever. The visually gifted gay Canadian is in demand these days making commercials (he says they like his crisp sense of color) but hopes to make a his first feature soon. The Patterns Trilogy, which charts the obsessive imagined (?) relationship of neighbors Pauline (Courtenay Webber) and David (Christopher Redman), is a weird blend of horror, surrealism, musical, romance and drama but the rest of his shorts (The Saddest Boy in the World, Why the Anderson Children Didn't Come To Dinner and his latest, The Armoire) are all about miserable children who are living outside of our typical reality in one way or another. He's basically a genius.

The Armoire [official site] less cute, more chilling then previous films

• Documentary Short: The Rauch Bros' Q&A
  
• Doc Short Honorable Mention: TG Herrington’s Mr. Okra
• Live Action Short: Jamie Travis's The Armoire
• Live Action Short Honorable Mention: Roland Honeycutt Jr.'s Dwight David Honeycutt for Conway School Board
• Animated Short: Chris Landreth’s The Spine
• Animated Short Honorable Mention: Nick Cross’s Yellow Cake
• Experimental Short: Joseph Ernst’s Feeder
• Experimental Short Honorable Mention: Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s A Letter to Uncle Boonmee
  If that last title, sounds familiar it's because Apichatpong has expanded the short into a feature and it'll be playing at Cannes next month
  

Specials
I was there to watch Carter Burwell receive his Career Achievement Award in Film Music (writing briefly about his True Grit score -- did you want to hear more about that interview? I couldn't tell from the limited comments.) but heard about these other prizes after the fact.

• NAHCC Award for Hispanic Filmmaker: Javier Fuentes-Leon, Undertow (previous reviewed from Sundance)
  
• GLBT Film: Leanne Pooley's The Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls
  The artistic director of the fest really wanted me to see this one. Oops. You can't see everything.
  
• Rosetta Miller-Perry Award for Best Black Filmmaker: Mario Van Peebles, Black, White and Blues
• Best Film by a Woman Director: Jac Schaeffer, TiMER
  This romantic comedy has a fertile if ridiculously implausible sci-fi premise (humans are implanted with devices that countdown to the moment when they'll meet their life partner) but whatever problems it has in dealing with its premise, it almost makes up for with pleasant charm. Of course it helps that it pandered to me specifically as soon as its opening scene. I should explain: TiMER reunites Buffy's hilarious demons Anya (Emma Caulfield) and Hafrek (Kali Rocha) in the opening scene! Schaeffer spoils me. Schaeffer must be a Buffy fan and I thank her sincerely for her good taste. For what it's worth -- since other Buffy fans will be curious -- Caulfield acquits herself well as a movie lead. I think she was absolutely Emmy win worthy as Anya (but who in the doctor/lawyer/cop-loving Academy was ever going to vote for a love-hungry money-loving vengeance demon?) and she deserves to work a whole helluva lot more than she does.
  

Do you miss me when I'm away? I'm feeling needy. Say something!
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Read Between The Links

Out Ewan McGregor is still acting. Just to make sure you're still paying attention, he claims he loves kissing boys (onscreen at least). Mmmmmm...
Go Fug Yourself Has words for Tilda's electric blue Berlinale gown
Moviezzz details the massive Clint Eastwood box set. Just to make sure you're actually reading Moviezzz announces that Flags of Our Fathers is better than Letters From Iwo Jima. Unnhhh...
Movie|Line explains how the last season of Lost is just like the last season of Buffy. Conveniently forgets about the Slayerettes.
In Contention the annual "top 10 shots" cinematography article. Just to make sure you're actually reading IC tries to claim worth in both Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and The Lovely Bones. Errrr...
Esquire the much discussed profile "Roger Ebert: The Essential Man"
My Internet is Where I Want You To Touch Me shares a horrific famous video. Just to make sure you're really sure about this Sandra Bullock thing. Ewwww.
Antagony & Ecstasy (a palate cleanser for you after the last link) Timothy's top ten movies of the Aughts

Tuesday Top Ten: Bite Me!

It's Halloween Week! Though a horror movie wuss I be there's one movie monster who I'll always give it up for, the vampire. Herewith: the film & television vampires who I would find most difficult to resist. (I've restricted myself to the past 30 years because there are too many I haven't seen from earlier... like those Hammer Horror films Matt was just talking 'bout). Should these 10 suckers ever come knocking, I shan't be wearing a cross, turtleneck or smelling of garlic.

I've already discussed Seline in Underworld and that hot Mexican in From Dusk til Dawn so I'm skipping them here.

10 Dracula (Gerard Butler) in Dracula 2000 (2000)
There are abundant lists of "best/sexiest vamps" on the net, but most of them go off in directions I can't support [cough Twilight... must everything be about page views? They twinkle. In the sun. Ugh]. But The Daily Beast makes a good point in favor of Gerard Butler: Ceiling Sex.

09 Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) in The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
Anyone remember Donohoe? I had a friend who was obsessed with her in the late 80s. And I like vampires to be as interested in their own cruel beauty and fashion choices as they are into their dietary choices. Plus: Ken Russell makes indescribably weird movies. Or at least he used to.


08 Armand (Antonio Banderas) in Interview with the Vampire (1994)
He really shouldn't be on this list since I hate the way they handle his character in the movie and I hate the wig, too. Mostly I just put him here to get back at all of the idiot strangers sitting in that multiplex with me in Utah, circa 1994. They ruined so many movies when I lived there. The conservative audience was super vocally terrified that Louis and Armand were going to kiss in their big invitation/refusal scene. Stupidly, in complete disregard for the tone of Rice's vampire chronicles, they didn't. The homophobic audience was hugely relieved but Armand was not. That Louis, such a fang tease. Now Armand will have to find solace elsewhere (<-- that link is NSFW but I laughed my ass off when I saw it so I had to share.)

07 The Count (Jerry Nelson) in Sesame Street (1972-present)
Ever since a certain episode of 30Rock last season, I've found it difficult not to envision people as muppets (was anything more hilarious last season than Liz Lemon's muppet walk?)...even myself. Plus felt fangs would tickle more than hurt and I'm not so much into pain.




06 PLACE HOLDER
I think with the reinvigoration of the vampire genre, more competitors for this list will soon emerge. I'm particular fascinated by the idea of Julie Delpy and Tilda Swinton in those competing Countess Bathory movies. Watching either of them bathing in virgin blood would be quite arrestingly cinematic, would it not? Delpy's movie must have been finished ages ago. What's going on there? Why haven't we seen it? It can't be as bad as her last journey into the supernatural.

05 Lucy Westenra (Sadie Frost) in Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Still one of the most spectacularly creepy vampires the cinema ever dreamt up. Thank you Francis Ford Coppola. She's game for anything with a pulse: demonic wolf men, crying babies, Winona Ryder. In fact, her appetite would make even the oldest vampires blush... and she's barely been turned. She's also on the list because her walk is more mesmerizing than most vampire's magical stare-downs. Bonus points: the actress slept with Jude Law for many years and who needs six degrees of separation when you can narrow that down to one?

04 Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård) in True Blood (2008-present)
I'm still pissed they're not letting him play Thor. Casting fail.

03 Spike (James Marsters) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (-1996)
I know a lot of people hate the way Spike took over the best television show of all time towards the end and I kind of did, too. But remember that episode when Buffy and Spike were having so much sex that the house collapsed in on them? So Much Sex. That wasn't the usual suspend-your-disbelief supernatural extraganza episode. That was a documentary about what it's like to have sex with James Marsters. I'm guessing.


02 Miriam (Catherine Deneuve) in The Hunger (1983)
I'm always horrified when she doesn't make best vampire lists in favor of sparkle-in-the-sunlight bloodless mouth breathers like Robert Pattison. Deneuve forever (which is what you get if you hook up with her as David Bowie and Susan Sarandon discovered)!

Also, to the best of my knowledge, Catherine Deneuve is the only actual immortal to have ever played a fictional immortal onscreen. Points for that.

01 Louis (Brad Pitt) in Interview with the Vampire (1994)
Sure, he'd be all tortured about it but it's not like guilt-ridden sex (aka all vampiric activity) is never hot. Plus, you already know how I feel about Brad Pitt and his little death.

Which vampires would you invite in?
Even if you're not into the bloodsuckers, play along in the comment. You need to get in the mood for Halloween.
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Full Moon: The Cutest Werewolf Of All Time Is...

The Were-Rabbit !

Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

Am I right or am I right? It's the bow tie. The bow tie seals the deal.

Though surely Buffy fans will protest.

Care to Make Any EMMY Predictions?

If you're new here and click on the EMMY label below, you'll probably find a thesaurus worth of unpleasant adjectives about TV's own "Oscars". But to save you the trouble of clicking, it goes like this: I don't like them. There, that was short and sweet bitter.

Does another dark Emmy-less fate await Friday Night Lights?
What a great show. Why can't they see that?

The Academy Awards are often chastised for their obvious preferencing: Holocaust dramas, biopics, women who allow themselves to look frumpy ... but at least you can understand where they're coming from and why they go for those things even if you don't agree. Who can explain EMMY's deep love for Two and a Half Men?

When Oscar gets chastised for repeatedly ignoring a brilliant performer or filmmaker, they usually give in and do a kind of makeup 'yeah, we're sorry we ignored your brilliance!' nomination. When Emmy gets chastised for ignoring something awesomely good at what it does they just continue to ignore it (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Battlestar Galactica, Scrubs, The Wire, Friday Night Lights). So I'm not really hopeful that they'll suddenly grow a brain when the nominations are announced tomorrow but you never know. Occasionally they don't run screaming from true brilliance but fully embrace it (see: Mad Men, 30Rock) which makes their usual dimness all the more puzzling.

I couldn't find any info on "top ten finalists" this year (did they do away with that system? I can't keep track of EMMY's frequent rule changes) but there will be 6 nominees in each of the lead categories.

BEST DRAMA Which six will be named: (previously nominated series in red. winners with asterisks) 24*, Battlestar Galactica (final season), Big Love, Boston Legal (final season), Breaking Bad, The Closer, Damages, Dexter, ER* (final season), Friday Night Lights, Grey's Anatomy, House, In Treatment, Lost*, Mad Men*, The Shield, The Tudors and/or True Blood?

<-- Will host Neil Patrick Harris finally win supporting actor for How I Met Your Mother or will they feel the need to give Entourage's Jeremy Piven a fourth consecutive trophy? They do get stuck in ruts.

BEST COMEDY Which six: (previously nominated series in red. winners with asterisks) 30 Rock*, The Big Bang Theory, Californication, Desperate Housewives, Entourage, Family Guy, Flight of the Conchords, The Office*, How I Met Your Mother, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Parks and Recreation, Samantha Who? (final season), Scrubs, Two and a Half Men, Ugly Betty, The United States of Tara and/or Weeds?

Do you care?

Or are you just waiting for the news of which silver screen actresses will get nominated for their acclaimed detours into pay cable work? I think we can all expect Tara's Toni Collette and Grey Gardens' Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange to be there on the big night in their red carpet finery, can't we?

Penélope's Embraces (and Other Wonders)

The new trailer to Almodóvar's Broken Embraces is up over at Guardian. Looks terrific and much like other Pedro gems such as Law of Desire and Bad Education it appears to be cinematic in all senses of the word (visually, thematically, environmentally).


It's less than two minutes long but it gives the impression that the whole movie consists of shots of Penélope Cruz through screens, mirrors, doorways and her own hair. Which is maybe the best thing a movie could consist of these days. It opens Stateside in 140 days but many of you overseas readers have already had the opportunity to see it. I'm green with envy but wearing red in keeping with the Almodóvar theme.

Links
Film Doctor on the movie love within Public Enemies
Animation World Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson!) interviews Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Ratatouille) about his caree. He even discussed Family Dog (pictured left) at length, which is one of my favorite cartoons in the whole wide world, and new live action film 1906.
Pop Hangover "the all new Fleetwood MacBook"
Hollywood Reporter Wim Wenders halts production on Pina Bausch dance film. I hope they restart later as a last tribute.
Vodkaster makes a subway map of the IMDb Top 250. Cool idea. I shall eventually explore. [thx]

And finally, the The Moment has a piece on the fan community's digital relationship with movies, home edits and what not. I actually found this one hard to read (formatting, too much info... I'm not sure). But it got me to thinking about my favorite fanmade "supercut" . It's my favorite because it's basically like hearing my thoughts spoken aloud and it doesn't require typing.
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The Happiest Ending of All Time?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs. Edward from Twilight.

[thanks]

Buffy has made me happy in so many ways over the years... but this is really going above and beyond. Brava, Ms. Summers!

The 13th Link

Arts and Crafts
Underwire Tim Burton gets a MoMA show
<--- IZ Reloaded A "six" puppet. Ohhhh, now I miss Battlestar Galactica. No fair.

More on Up
Filmbo has issues with it (great post title, Filmbo)
By Ken Levine a review of Up. I link to this primarily because I'm always heartened by actual movie/tv industry professionals who believe in the award worthiness of non-traditional awards material. Even if I don't personally think Up is Pixar's best (I already know I'm going to be sad about WALL•E's Best Picture snub for many years), it'd be so swell if people stopped ghettoizing animation.

Randomness
Topless Robot Mickey Rourke as Whiplash in Iron Man 2. Oooh, this is the busiest costume I've seen since the last Britney or Janet concert. Me no likey. Me no likey at all. The movie is already crowded with characters. Don't crowd us further with busy costumes!
Vulture presents the 'Top Ten Greatest Multiple Role Performances'. I hesitated to link. Their entire list is pointless because no way can any such list ignore Miranda Richardson in Spider and have credibility. So decreeth the film bitch.

Miranda Richardson in Spider -- her best work (and that's saying a lot)

Buzz Sugar Viola Davis to join the cast of The United States of Tara
Some Came Running Adam Lambert and... uh... Rex Reed? oh my
Risky Business Lance Armstrong biopic to pedal forward
Go Fug Yourselves says "mais non!" to French Elle with Scarlett Johansson
Kenneth in the (212) and MSNBC reminisce about John Travolta as Pellham opens

A Stake To Everyone's Hearts Involved!
NY Post Megan Fox in the Buffy The Vampire Slayer reboot? OK. It's now official: I hate her.

True Bite

While some people were enjoying the sunshine last weekend I was holed up with Joe having a True Blood marathon (I'm not much for sunshine). Now, that it's on DVD have you caught up with it yet?


Art of the Title Sequence investigated its NSFW opening titles last year which I still can't get enough of. I couldn't ever fast forward. I love how the credits shove religiosity, carnality and base nature into a crammed pot, boil them down to their base essences (remarkably similar as it turns out!) and mix them into a trashy stew... just like the show. ♫ "I wanna do bad things to you" I'd only seen the first few episodes before and the show never got any less obvious about what some saw as its awkward / obvious political sexual metaphors but as it turns out it didn't need to. Good trash is good trash. Trash that has campy knowing fun with its awkward flailing at message and meaning? I'll take it. The second season starts June 14th.

<--- Robert Pattison on the set of New Moon

The vampire mythology has always readjusted itself to suit current preoccupations and we've definitely moved back into the realm of the romantic vampire. The romantic undead was missing for awhile -- see 2006's vampire blog-a-thon -- but he's returned defanged. The traditional romantic/erotic vampire has been replaced by the romantic/sexless vampire. Twilight bores me stiff, like rigor mortis stiff, but a lot of people of all ages love its weird asexuality... which... though I'm no social theorist, I'm guessing is a natural result of the past decade of purity rings, abstinence fever and attacks against sex-ed. But it's strange (to me at least) that the TeenBeat style sexuality isn't just for tweens and newly hormonal teens anymore.

The recent television upfronts have revealed that we'll be getting more Twilight style PG vampirism with The Vampire Diaries which is also about a beautiful high school girl falling for the mysterious undead classmate who initially resists her. How much do you have to change something to avoid lawsuits?



Not much apparently!

I assume that a lot of this teen vampire craze sprung from the influential and totally brilliant Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy may have also been a high schooler but you know what they say: some people mature faster than others.

Thank god there's True Blood for a randy bloody counterpoint to the wildly popular but anemic teenage vampire craze. For all the dreamy eyed romanticism of the Bill (Stephen Moyer) & Sookie (Anna Paquin) relationship on True Blood, it also feels just as sexually dangerous as it should. I mean loving the undead... that should be a little frightening, not just mushy. That scene late in the first season where Bill emerges from the earth and mounts an initially terrified Sookie? That was dirty... in both senses of the word.

Will True Blood get any cinematic company or will Twilight ripoffs completely take over in the next few years? Surburban Vampire has a huge list of upcoming undead titles and the answer seems to be neither. Most of the new vampire films seem to be horror or action related like...

• High Midnight -a period piece and vampire western which the always welcome Thomas Kretschmann (The Pianist, Valkyrie) was initially rumored to be starring in as a vampire hunter.
  
• Daybreakers a scifi horror take which frankly sounds more like a zombie film. Most of the human race has gone bloodsucker. With Willem Dafoe and Ethan Hawke (who look quite clean and fresh for people fighting for their lives in a horror film.)
• Last Blood epic war between zombies vs. vampires with the vamps out to protect their food source, humans
  
• Dark Shadows in development (previously discussed here)
  

Now if only someone would make Lost Souls into a movie so we'd have a queer entry in the crowded vampiric canon.
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This, That and The Other Link

Thompson on Hollywood really cohesive Cannes roundup on buzz winners and losers
EW funny stretch of a followup to yesterday's Buffy reboot news. What does Whedon think of it?
<--- Pixar an interview with Tim Hauser on The Art of UP
Lazy Eye Theater "don't terminate until you can see the whites of their teeth"
My New Plaid Pants a pearl of wisdom from The Others
Risky Biz Blog the 2009 Oscar race. It's not off to any kind of real start
The Evening Class on Latino images in film and Turner Classic Movies

These three go out to you Californians!
Movie|Line on California's Prop 8 Disaster "J.J. Abrams to Revitalize Supreme Court Franchise" ... a stress release laugh
Socialite's Life Colin Farrell to be best man at his gay brothers wedding. Awww. No wonder he was so sincere in that A Home at the End of the World movie.
The Post Game Show "The Movement to Protect Singing"

yes please

And finally, a most unexpected but exciting news bit to brighten your morning: Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig to co-star on Broadway this fall !!!

Linky the Blogger Slayer

Self Styled Siren has a fascinating quote from William Wellman on the psychology of actors
<--- THR A relaunch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer without the Scoobies, Gellar or Joss Whedon. Ewww. Remember what happened last time they revived Buffy from the dead? She weren't too happy 'bout it, y'all. Learn from past mistakes or be doomed to repeat them.
Big Picture on Ulmer Scale of Bankability. Re: Nicole Kidman

Even overseas, people see her choice of roles as very erratic. She'll do a studio film, but followed by several films that don't even register overseas. She's just too unpredictable. A French executive I spoke to said, "I find her fascinating, but she's too quirky." That makes her a very risky bet.

Fabulon has some clips from a Bette Davis sitcom The Decorator
Risky Biz on marketing Palme D'Or winner The White Ribbon

---> Elizabeth Banks has fun posts up with personal pics and views from Cannes.

...I just got back from the Festival de Cannes. It was pretty good...

We saw UP in 3-D (adorable) and Precious (the opposite of adorable, but great). So I guess it was better than good.

Hell on Frisco Bay sees a documentary about the Sherman Brothers (Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang). I want to see this toot sweet.
DListed Cher & Christina Aguilera as co-stars?
I Need My Fix Heather Graham has some words for the producer of her latest

Corbis has a fun brief article by Fran Lebowitz on this ancient Warhol portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I link to this because the grim box office of Terminator Salvation (less than T3 many years of ticket price inflation later) suggests that without Ahnuld, there is no interest in Terminators. CGI Ahnuld need not apply. If your personal lack of interest involves the lack of a James Cameron behind the wheel, you can click over to Market Saw to whet your appetite for Avatar. The shot they have is supposedly of body armor worn by humans attacking an alien village. It's reminiscent of Ripley in her exoskeleton in Aliens, don'cha think?

Thinky Sci-Fi

We haven't had a lot of brainy science fiction at the movies recently. Most science fiction has moved away from the philosophizing headspace to the easy accessibility and fun of the space opera / adventure variety, the Star Wars school if you will. There have been a few attempts to bring it back: Steven Soderbergh's Solaris remake, Danny Boyle's Sunshine (to some degree) and indies like Primer. People don't tend to think of it as sci-fi but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind also fits into this camp: movies using outlandish and/or futuristic scientific premises to illuminate something about the human condition or tie us up in theoretical knots.

One of the reasons I loved Battlestar Galactica so much during its run (2004-20009... sniffle) is that it lived in an enormous suite in the headier wing of the genre mansion but also kept a couple of rooms in the other, so as not to scare away that sizeable audiences who lives for gunplay and explosions. Loud fireworks work the same action magic whether they're inside an earthbound action movie or light years away between humans and machines.

This is a long way of introducing two recently released indie trailers. The first is the "what if?" implant/romance scenario of TiMER.



I love that the trailer introduces its crazy premise with a coincidental (?) reunion of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's hilarious she-demons Anya (Emma Caulfield) and Halfrek (Kali Rocha), don't you?



The second trailer there is for Moon starring Sam Rockwell. It seems a bit Solaris inspired but maybe that's a simplification (I haven't seen the movie).

I've read from a few sources that Rockwell is just terrific in the movie. But Oscar watchers should probably ignore that buzz. Sci-fi is the last place* awards voters look for acting skill. Even the widespread lengthy brilliance of Battlestar's ensemble resulted in 0 Emmy acting nominations. What they were accomplishing with their ridiculously complex and sometimes alarmingly sneaky characterizations on that show was simply no match for the revolutionary advances in the acting artform taking place over on Law & Order, Grey's Anatomy and Boston Legal [/sarcasm]

*Do awards voters like horror acting slightly more than sci-fi acting? Which is to say 'are they slightly less eager to spit on it?' It's arguable but maybe.

April Showers: Dollhouse 1.8

"April Showers" evenings at 11:00 all month long.

I'm killing two birds with one stone tonight, by starting the April Showers series with the latest visit to Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. [Here are thoughts on episode 1, 2 and 3 and 4 through 7 in case you missed them.] "Needs", the 8th episode, pleasantly dispenses with the usual three-plot structure. Hopefully the writers have realized that they've been leaning too heavily on the imprint assignment plots. The Dollhouse itself is the heart of the show. It's where most of the good potential metaphors lurk, this episode hinting that the writers might eventually find them. The Dollhouse could be entertainment itself (actors playing dress up / people as product) or a dysfunctional home (the executives as bad parents, the dolls as abused children, the handlers as elder siblings? enabling spouses?). If it keeps going in this direction Dollhouse might eventually be able to do what Buffy the Vampire Slayer once excelled at: illuminating universal emotional realities within outlandish genre trappings.

I love that this episode's plot essentially mirrors our own everyday routines: We wake up (for the dolls something's gone wrong. They don't know who or where they are), eat breakfast (The troubled dolls -- Sierra, Victor (Enver Gjokaj), Echo and Millie are terrified about the simplicity of the other dolls and their banal pleasantries about bananas), we shower to get ready for the big day ahead (for the Dolls, it's a co-ed experience. They didn't see that coming. The kids in the idyllic garden have finally realized they're naked).

What's so smart about this eighth episode is that each of these regular daily events fills the troubled dolls with fear and confusion. Essentially they're damaged children in adult bodies. Reality is going to be difficult for them. But the show, like all of Whedon's shows, has several tones to juggle. The shower scene is played for comedy but we've been prepped for it. Previous episodes have made the funny about Victor's "man reactions".

Victor walks by Sierra, averts eyes.

He's not supposed to pop a boner in the shower when he sees Sierra but he always does, which has caused much hand wringing among the staff. The dolls imprinting should be keeping them in a childlike state. The tingly parts are for paying customers only!

So Sierra and Victor enter the shower together. The newly aware Sierra warns Victor to watch where he looks and Victor tries to. He recites sports figures to stay calm. (I've been meaning to ask straight boys if this really works to prevent "man reactions". My equivalent would be Oscar statistics but I think that would just get me hotter. TMI!!!)

Mike (right) swims several laps every day. Sadly we don't watch him do so.

Weirdly none of the dolls get wet. Sierra looks a bit sweaty but that's it. The co-ed shower has more steam than water (It's network television. I guess steam comes in handy). The dolls have a weird encounter with "Mike" (adonis Teddy Sears) who's been reprogrammed. I love it when the dolls seem eerily vacant. The show is more fun when they tilt ever so slightly towards creepy and away from stupid.

Finally we move into the "get dressed" and "leave home" parts of the daily routine and here's where things really pick up, metaphorically speaking. The dolls find their wardrobes. The Dollhouse suddenly feels like a television set? Ooh, the places they could take this show, you know. Please be renewed for a second season. Pretty please.

Naturally the "leaving home" part doesn't work out well. (It's all been a test for the staff and a medical experiment with the dolls who've been showing memory glitches). They can't really leave. They're broken. Even if they escape the Dollhouse they're still dolls. Have you ever tried walking away from your troubles? Your troubles come with. B+

Thoughts on Dollhouse 1.2 and 1.3

<-- "Faith" Doll. Get it? We're subtle.

You know that geeky t-shirt that was popular some years ago "Joss Whedon is My Master Now"? I should have bought one at the time. We're now 3 episodes into Whedon's latest Dollhouse and even though I'm still not so sure about it I get excited each time. Dollhouse isn't close to the best thing on TV (For me Mad Men and Battlestar Galactica fight for that honor with Friday Night Lights and 30 Rock as honorable mentions) but I'm into it for better and worse. Hopefully for better.

Previously on Dollhouse

[spoilers to follow, obviously]

Episode 1.2 "The Target"
I'm already learning to divide Dollhouse into its A, B and C plots: A is the "imprint" assignment - i.e. Echo (Eliza Dushku) gets new memories and personality so she can serve as someone's dreamgirl / muscle / somesuch; B is the "series mythology" thread (also known as "the best part") wherein they complicate the back story; C is the "externals", or, whatever Helo from Battlestar Galactica (Tamoh Penikett) is up to as the investigating Agent Ballard. He's trying to bring the mythical "Dollhouse" down. It's not exactly a legal or ethical institution. I hope actors aren't the only thing that Joss Whedon ends up borrowing from BSG as Dollhouse continues but more on that in a bit.

A. Echo's latest client Richard would like an outdoors adventure with her but he isn't sure about the "truth" that Dollhouse CEO (Olivia Williams) is promising in regards to Echo.

I've been with a lot of women. It's not bragging, it's just what you might call 'truth.''

Since this character looks exactly like Matt Keeslar, we believe this. But since this character looks exactly like Matt Keeslar one wishes he would have added "a lot of women... and men". Keeslar has already gone to bed with Jonathon Schaech and Dan Futterman onscreen.

Anyway, excuse those 90s fantasies... Echo is the Dollhouse's most prized girl but her assignments always go terribly wrong. One would hate to see how lousy the other dolls are at their jobs if Echo constitutes "the best". The trouble (this time) is, Richard/Matt is a psycho. He's the love 'em and leave kill 'em sort. After a particularly steamy hunting scene -- the things they get away with on television now! Not that I'm complaining when it's Eliza & Matt doing the groping, sweating and talking about blowjobs -- Matt jumps up from their tent of coital bliss and tells his pricey doll that he's giving her a 5 minute head start and then he's going to hunt and kill her. This is a totally creepy scene because...

1. Angel faced Keeslar is suddenly revealed as a sick f***
2. This brings up all those icky memories of what happens to people who have sex in the woods in slasher movies. Hint: double penetration.
   
3. It also reminds us that Echo is basically a very very expensive prostitute (we're two episodes in and this is, you guessed it!, the second time she's been comissioned as a fantasy lay)...
4. Which brings up the uncomfortable issue to trump all uncomfortable issues. Can Echo, who is never herself but an imprint of other personalities and behaviors, truly give consent? Some critics are calling these assignments rape fantasies. Yuck. (Whole debate going on about this over at the IMDB)
   

Joss Whedon has gone on record before about the problems he has with misogyny in the horror genre but some parts of this episode felt uncomfortably close to being a part of the problem without enough distance to comment on it. I'm not sure. Perhaps the horror fans among you would have a sharper perspective? I probably don't need to tell you that Echo survives this assignment. Her client does not. She ends him in rather pointy fashion after he nearly strangles her to death. Which brings us to the B thread.

As Echo nears death, she sees her other selves. Uh oh, she's "compositing"!

Crosscut throughout this A horror plot is a B horror mystery (also of the psycho killer variety) about the previous best doll (they call him "Alpha") who "composited" and promptly slashed several people around him into little bits. He left Echo alive, shivering naked in the Dollhouse showers, surrounded by the other dolls he wasn't as merciful with. Grisly. Nobody knows why he spared her. But what this basically tells the viewer is that there are all sorts of problems with the "imprinting" technology and maybe those memory wipes don't work so well. Echo does her own compositing in this episode. Whenever she nears death she starts seeing previous versions of herself. The A and B stories are well integrated mirrors in this episode and I'm assuming the best episodes will have this organic reflective compatibility. Cross your fingers.

C story: The FBI Agent hits more dead ends but someone ("Alpha" is my early guess) sends him a photo of Echo with a "keep looking" scribble.

Kind of a sick episode but a goodie: B+

Episode 1.3 "Stage Fright"
A plot: A Britney style popstar has a deranged fan. Echo is sent in as back-up singer / bodyguard. The opening musical number suggests we'll be getting lots of boob shaking and ass shimmying action from Eliza (score!) once she joins the act but that's mostly left to the guest star Jaime Lee Kirchner as the pop star in jeopardy. The writers do have a bit of meta fun with the notion that they suspect you're watching this show for Eliza's rack and general bootyliciousness, though. And aren't you? I am (partially). Eliza sings in this episode. It's too bad Joss didn't somehow work her into the classic Buffy episode "Once More With Feeling". The A story has some really rough acting in all corners though --do they only do one take?

B and C story: We don't get as much plot from the B story this time -- it's mostly well-played / scripted handwringing between the various Dollhouse staff members about what to do about Echo. She seems to be acting slightly outside her persona/parameter programming with increasing regularity. The nifty thing about this episode is that the B & C stories collide. Agent Ballard's one lead to the secret organization, a lowlife criminal named "Victor" (they're both pictured to your left), had seemed like an expendable minor character in the first two episodes. He's revealed to be an actual doll here in a great "gotcha" edit, wherein he steals Echo's signature post memory wipe line "Did I fall asleep?". Agent Ballard has been hitting dead ends for a reason. C

One of the things that Dollhouse seems to be lacking in its first few episodes is a sense of real threat. Battlestar Galactica, the current high water mark for genre shows, has this in spades. Each episode has a dizzying sense of "anything could happen" danger that is rare on television where the long term nature of the artform generally prevents shocking plot twists and characters dying unexpectedly or turning against each other in irreparable ways. I hope Whedon steals some of BSG's writing staff now that that show is wrapping.

We don't have a lot to go on yet but Dollhouse's "assignments" have ranged from mediocre (1.1) to scary (1.2) to campy (1.3) but there's not enough paranoia and dread laced through each episode to represent what is essentially a very sinister and ethically meaty premise. In its best moments it glances in the general direction of the sinister. The third episode ends with an absolutely terrific final shot of Echo walking through the Dollhouse. We've seen the choreography of this shot before but this time its twisted just enough to raise the hairs. It looks the same as every other walk we've seen her take in her memory wiped state, but something is different. With a minor wary sideways glance to a handler who thinks Echo should be "sent to the attic" (he doesn't see this and she shouldn't know he's a threat to her) followed by a barely visible head shake (as if in warning) to another doll passing by, you have to wonder...


How much of her now familiar childlike persona is a put on? How much does Echo really know? It's the best and most intriguing note of the series yet capping its worst episode. Fancy that.
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