Dirty Girls or "Another reason why Amy Adams from 'Junebug' won't be nominated"

[This post has been rated R for sexual situations and offensive language] Feeling like choking your chicken? If you're an Oscar hopeful and you have a vagina -don't do it! Hands above the waist please. It's the dirty little secret of Oscar nominations. Girls who she-bop get snubbed. With guys... well, kids, that's just boys being boys, don't you know? Kevin Spacey's Oscar for American Beautydidn't go down the drain during his shower scene. Nicolas Cage's meat-beating in Adaptation didn't spoil his nomination. But with the distaff half of the populace, 'tis a different story.

Now, it's probably no surprise that Kim Basinger missed out for her 9 1/2 Weeks solo. There were larger forces at work there, than her moment alone with the slide projector. But some other missing nominations seem highly suspect unless you factor in those unbecomingly hairy palms. You might want to ask Joan Allen where her Pleasantville nomination went. Naomi Watts's Oscar hopes for Mulholland Drive disappeared somewhere along the way as well. It wasn't into that film's mysterious blue box but a box was probably involved. So goodbye Amy Adams in Junebug. We hardly knew you. Less time in the honeypot and more time weepily suffering about your inattentive husband would have probably been the Oscar key.