Reader RequestMy evil friend over at ModFab made a nefarious request that I review the greatest movie ever made From Justin to Kelly (2003). Since the modern and fabulous one gave to the charity of me, I must comply. Did I mention that this friend o' mine is evil incarnate? You see I've already seen this cinematic masterpiece once which, I trust you'll understand, is sufficient. His sinister suggestion forces me to see the one and only --oh god let it be the only-- American Idol movie more times than I've seen Citizen Kane. Oh the humanity (or lack thereof in ModFab's case)
In order to fulfill this diabolical command without hurting myself I've decided to liveblog the film rather than attempt to construct a real essay on its "merits". Behind her hazel eyes and Justin's 'fro lay criticism defeated. As the credits roll I begin with a two pronged confession:
- The thought of watching it again fills with me a terror of the soul usually reserved for films with abundant use of fatsuits or toilet humor.
Though I usually tear through my bloglines when I return from any vacation to read up on what everyone's been talking about I have not visited one site today for fear of reading all the gloating regarding last night's American Idol in which the media whipping boy Sanjaya was put down. I don't like it when people pick on scapegoats and so, it's actually a perfect time to rewatch From Justin to Kelly. Maybe with this reminder, the hordes of people who watch this show will be reminded that Sanjaya did not defile a sacred show. He merely added to its long loooooong history of celebrating cheesy, bland, All American mediocrity.
While I've been typing this confession the DVD has been at the menu stage and I've already been lulled into a hypnotic kitsch trance by its looping new disco beats...and Justin's 'fro.
OK. Here we go. CONTINUE READING... for more on the second greatest movie ever made starring a famous cast member of American Idol.
Tags: American Idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Kelly Clarkson
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13 comments:
I saw this movie twice. In theaters. Opening weekend. Hilarious.
I own the DVD, too, although I haven't dusted it off in years. It made it in record time from theater to DVD to the Walmart $5 DVD bin o'shame.
In australia ,t his film bipassed cinemas... And DVD...
It was only just shown on free to air TV a few weeks ago...
LOL, Nat. I haven't seen it and now, thanks to your courageous act of live blogging, I don't ever need to.
Bless you!
I'd say it's the 'Citizen Kane' of shit
Why and How did I see this in theatres? And how did it get a PG rating? And I can imagine Gabriel as the Anti-Bloggerchrist, sure.
That's sadism at its worst.
Not only did that make me spew up my coffee laughing as I was reading it, but... it pretty much made me want to buy a copy within my next 20 mouse clicks!
Rob
I freakin' LOVE this movie!! When it opened, a huge group of us went and were not disappointed. Bad acting, choreography that would make Debbie Allen wince, generic songs wailed painfully... truly a landmark musical.
My favorite bit of dialogue from the bathroom meeting:
Justin: I know you... you're that girl from the beach!
Kelly: My friends call me Kelly for short.
It took us ages to realize that was supposed to be a joke.
I own this movie. Not even kidding, I love it, it's wrong in all the right ways!
KingRoper welcome (tangent: i also love Christine Lavin!) --i know what you mean about the aftereffect of the jokes. the thing is the screenplay actually has a few good zingers but Kelly is constitutionally incapable of strong comic timing
or something
When this was on tv the other week (Easter Sunday I believe) I really wanted to watch it but I had been out drinking the night before and forgot all about it on Sunday morning. I really wanted to watch it considering it's seemingly unavailable in any other medium.
well perhaps it will become an easter sunday tradition so that new generations can experience it for themselves. *gulp*
That's nearly the funniest thing I've ever read. Bravo.
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