Places Willem Dafoe's Ass Has Been
- Between Charlotte Gainsbourg's thighs
(His thrusting seems to have woken evil naked tree spirits) - snugly encased in Green Goblin gear
- on stage with the Wooster Group
- Between Madonna's thighs
(His thrusting did not wake any latent acting skill) - In bed with yellow fever on the set of Platoon
- In Prada
- Out of frame in The Life Aquatic
(Wes Anderson's head-on horizontal tableaus allow for no backsides) - In New York City
- Between Mary Magdalene's thighs
(albeit only theoretically offscreen in the dream sequence way. For the Religious Right the new Von Trier movie will be the least of Dafoe's offenses) - In Italy and Tunisia
- In Wisconsin
- Inside tuxedos at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion and the Shrine Auditorium
- Directly behind Jude Law's new "bio-port"
(this scene is not about what they're pretending it's about) - In Hollywood
- In various yoga positions
- Between Asia Argento's thighs.
(A distinction held by many silver screen asses)
*
Posts
25 comments:
[rolling my eyes]
Oh, Lars...
i was hoping you would use the new still to talk about Lars Von Trier's unfinished USA trilogy
This is why I love the Film Experience.
You have to admire the predictability, brilliance, and utter shamelessness of Lars Von Trier.
It's still puzzling to me that Lars Von Trier is apparently heterosexual, what with all those soap opera-paced movies about martyred women. Not as puzzling as Baz Lurhmann's apparent heteroseuxality, however...
Impressive still. That says nothing about the film. I'm tired of impresive photos and trailers and boring movies. I haaaate it. (I've stopped talking about Antichrist since my second sentence.)
Jude has so many homoerotic scenes...
Nate, I've asked before but you didn't see it. Anyway. Can I participate in the Actress Psychic Contest without claiming any awards? (excpept for glory, that is) I live in Greece, so...
of course you can Jim T. But i'm totally willing to send awards to people in other countries should they win.
Oh Jack, don't be like that. It's one of the very worst aspects of the glbt community. Suspecting everyone who has one less-than-hetero trait must in fact be gay. It's kind of revolting.
Apparently every male director and actor is actually secretly queer if they dare decide to make movies that aren't aimed at teen boys.
Nothing against you personally, I've just really turned on the grotesque gossip about celebrities. It's revolting.
Kamikaze, I don't think my Overactive Homosexual Imagination That Wants Everyone Else to be Gay is solely responsible for reading possible queer content into the films of someone like Baz Luhrmann, who, in "Moulin Rouge", uses songs by self-identified queers Madonna and Elton John to enhance his rainbow-colored Hollywood musical celebration of bohemian whorehouse decadence. I wasn't aware that commenting on classic film code for queer sexualities was such a personal insult to the sensitive heterosexual auteurs involved. Poor little Lars Von Trier just wants to make ponderous melodramas about martyred women without being mistaken for gay!
And as for "movies aimed at teen boys" being specifically heterosexual terrain, what about known queer Brian Singer's X-Men movies, or known queer Joel Schumacher's Batman movies, or know queer Roland Emmerich's massive-budget summer action spectacles?
Sorry, but I don't like when it's viewed as a PERSONAL ATTACK to assume a celebrity to be anything other than 100% heterosexual. And according to auteur theory, isn't the interpretation of a director's work informed by their personal life in a major way?
LVT is the god of cinema.
Wow - I just read Jack's post. Not sure what to think about it.Can someone explain?
Adelutza, this is the rundown:
I said that it surprised me that Lars Von Trier is heterosexual, since I've always found his films to have a queer sensibility about them akin to old-school women's pictures about innocent women falling tragically victim to the evils of an unjust society.
Kamikaze Camel said that I was embodying "one of the very worst aspects of the glbt community" by expressing surprise when the fact of a director's sexual orientation did not correspond predictably with my queer reading of his work.
I responded that Baz Luhrmann (the other director whose apparent heterosexuality surprised me) makes abundant use of gay iconography in his films and that I don't think it should be insulting to be perceived as gay.
But it's all in fun!
But why is it so surprising that Trier and Luhrmann are straight? So they make movies that aren't typically hetero. Is it really that shocking? Martin Scorsese made Age of Innocence, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore and New York New York so if you put them with Raging Bull and Goodfellas does that give you reason to believe he's bisexual? No, because that's silly.
It's not insulting to me on a personal level, it's just annoying. I swear every single major male actor or director has their entire life questioned if they make something less than what is deemed acceptable for heterosexuals. "So and so wants to make a musical? WHOA must be queer." etc.
Yes, there have been a lot of directors or actors who we have later realised were gay and that gives their work new dimensions (sometimes), but why must people's sexuality be scrutinised over just because they don't subscribe to a certain prehistoric idea.
And there are more than plenty perfectly heterosexual males who like classic cinema, musicals and melodramas. Just like there are plenty of women who like action movies.
And, no, it shouldn't be insulting to be thought of as gay, but I think that's a weak argument.
(this is KC btw)
I think the fact that Scorsese was fucking Liza Minnelli for a time in the late 70's makes him an honorary homosexual.
KIDDING! CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! But seriously, there's an account of them in the Andy Warhol diaries, beating on Andy's door at unheard-of hours and begging for drugs. I believe the exact quote attributed to Liza was "Give me every drug you've got." That and "Casino" was the gayer, more exciting neon-pink music video version of "Goodfellas" that rendered it and all other mob films pointless.
If Luhrmann made a hardcore pornographic gay film along the lines of "Boys in the Sand" could I then legitimately call into question his all-important status as an Unquestionably Heterosexual Director? And the answer is no, because surely there are untold millions of confidently heterosexual men who have an interest in "Boys in the Sand", and the poor things will have to live their entire lives under constant suspicion!
There are plenty of Confidently Heterosexual Actors who've played gay a million times whose orientations are never questioned, it's just that none of them are American. The above-mentioned Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, etc. They just don't do the OBSESSIVE QUALIFYING of their heterosexuality that Americans who play gay do.
So, technically, you're right- in a boring, bland, beige, politically correct world I should not feel a particular kinship with a particular director JUST BECAUSE his film includes a synchronized dance scene involving "Like a Virgin" and jiggling technicolor Jell-O molds...but that world would be boring and I like looking for QUEER SUBTEXT. And I don't think the celebrities whose private lives I theorize about would immediately trade their millions of dollars for a peaceful life free of my thoughtless, malicious "Children's Hour"-esque gossip.
Thanks Jack :-)
Jack I like queer subtext too.
I understand where Glenn is coming from in that sometimes it is ridiculous but i think that's just a phase people go through when they're forming identity --- assuming other people share the identity. and that cuts both ways (straight people refusing to believe people they like/admire are gay / gay people refusing to believe someone theyr'e attracted to is straight).
anyway... THAT SAID i also think it's silly to assume someone is heterosexual just because they're married. To explain: I always get angry e-mails when I mention director Stephen Daldry as being gay but he is -- he's admitted as much -- so it hardly matters that he's married. Same with Raul Esparza (pushing daisies/lots of broadway shows) who is also "out" but was married (not sure if still is for many many years) ... and that's just two entertaiment professionals who've admitted it. Add in the reality of the closet and things are murky.
But it's also suspect to assume people are gay just because they have a queer sensibility. Identity is more fluid than we give it credit for being.
I don't think there's any harm in speculation about public figures... but as mediator ;) i'll say that it can be annoying as Glenn claims but it's also NOT an insult to be gay or shouldn't be as Jack mentions and if Americans weren't so uptight about it there'd be a lot less gay rumors (the examples of Ewan mcGregor and Jude Law are perfect. Nobody thinks they're gay despite gay roles, non-traditionally masculine aspects of their character... etcetera...
No one should ever have to think about where Willen Dafoe's ass has been. Or where it hasn't been. Gross.
I don't think Age of Innocence or New York, New York have a particularly queer vibe, and if you look at Scorsese's filmography those are hardly the films that define him as an artist*, so the comparison with Baz Luhrmann isn't really justified.
I'm totally stealing the adjective Children's Hour-esque.
*And Catherine Deneuve agrees with me. She really dismissed him in that Film Comment interview a couple of months ago as someone who doesn't care about women all that much.
And all the time I thought LVT's work was just misogynistic, which I do not in the least equate with gay, gay-friendly or having a queer subtext.
Ian noted. But tell that to filmmakers!
It's not uncommon to see "gay actor" comments posed in an accusatory manner out on the nets, as though it's an outrageus, career-ruining revelation, so I can see where the annoyance plays in.
Changing the subject, I LOVE gay subtext!
And I love that both Ewan and Jude are mentioned in these comments. It's not enough that they both have their wicked way with me just by getting papped walking down the street or casting their eyes towards a camera lense....no,I want them on film TOGETHER, bringing us some gay subtext...or outright context or maintext or whatever it's called. I would simply melt into my chair, never to be seen or heard again, but what a way to go!
It's more than okay, though, that we'll get gay subtext with Jude and RDJ in Sherlock Holmes later this year, and hopefully get to see Ewan and Jim Carey's "I Love You, Phillip Morris" if it gets a release.....but Ewan and Jude have to do it together...I mean, do one together...do a film together.
Nathaniel, any chance of doing a post on all of Jude's homoerotic movie moments? Ewan's? Just thought I'd ask. :)
sheryl... I will add it to the neverending lists of possible topics ;)
Much obliged, Nathaniel, much obliged! ;) *blows kisses*
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