- Campaign for office with Mrs. Iselin (Angela Lansbury in The Manchurian Candidate)?
- Study the bible with Mrs. White (Piper Laurie in Carrie)?
- Compete for a man with Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft in The Graduate)?
- Be cared for when you're sick by Mrs. Fitzgerald (Margo Martindale in Million Dollar Baby)?
- Do household chores with Ms. Crawford (Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest)?
Would you rather...
- Deal with mental illness under Mrs. Darko's steady wet-eyed watch (Mary McDonnell in Donnie Darko)?
- Enter mainstream society, despite your debilitating freakishness, with Mrs. Boggs at your side (Dianne Wiest in Edward Scisshorhands)?
- Travel to hostile planets with only Lt. Ripley to protect you (Sigourney Weaver in Aliens)
- Let Mrs. Pierce put up with all of your shit and take the fall for your crimes (Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce)? Harsh! But then it is Joan Crawford and she's on the other list, too. So...
- Battle illness with Mrs. Greenaway handling the medical staff (Shirley Maclaine in Terms of Endearment)
UPDATE: The normally chatty TFE readers were quiet about this teeny contest (Must have been visiting your mothers instead of commenting here. Good for you!)... but the winner is The Medwenitsch. He gets to help me with the next banner --- e-mail me for details, TM.
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11 comments:
I would rather:
- Campaign for office with Mrs. Iselin
This would be a master class in the blood sport of national politics with one of its most accomplished experts. Learning at the feet of Angela Lansbury in her most chillingly reptilian role (yeah, she’s a Republican…we’ll take her) would prepare me for anything the world has to throw at me. All that I would have to do to take advantage of my lessons is live through the experience (a feat that Laurence Harvey found…challenging.)
- Battle illness with Mrs. Greenaway handling the medical staff
The missus and I have both had to deal with medical issues most of our lives. I, for one, cannot imagine having to do so without a staunch advocate for quality care by my side when I am incapacitated and not able to do so on my own behalf.
http://blogs.nypost.com/popwrap/archives/2009/05/renee_zellweger_acting_hiatus.html
I would rather compete for a man with Mrs. Robinson
- Hopefully it won't have a "Bachelor" format but even if I loose I still win if we're competing for young Dustin Hoffman.
I would rather travel to hostile planets with only Lt. Ripley
- Wow , aliens andSigourney Weaver simultaneously for a human being spending her time in a cube 8 hours a day! Just hope I can make it to the hostile planets and don't die beforehand of excitement.
well for the first set, let's see:
Mrs. Iselin (The Manchurian Canidiate) - After seeing the film, i still don't completely trust Angela Lansbury, so i'll say no.
Mrs. Fitzgerald (Million Dollar Baby) - While watching the film, i wanted to kick her in the thigh, so i'll say no.
Ms. Crawford (Mommie Dearest) - I'm not really in to mental and physical abuse, so i'll say no. Plus, i do use wire hangers.
Mrs. Robinson (The Graduate) - hmm...not fun enough.
which leaves us with:
Mrs. White - At least when you go over the Bible with her, you'd be learning from a real master. Though i would try not to get on her bad side and not ask too many questions. Also, i'd have to ignore Carrie. It wouldn't be in my best interest for Mrs. White to think that i would like to have anything to do with Carrie (though that might kill me because Carrie needs a big old hug.) Plus, everyone likes a little bit of crazy. It adds character. :)
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With the second, it would easily be Mrs. Greenaway (Terms of Endearment). Not just because i watched the film for the first time last night, but she's a great mom to have on your side. I'm not too happy to be battling an illness, but with Aurora there, at least i'd get my damn shot. She would put the medical staff in check and help me as much as she can to defeat my illness.
I would rather:
Compete for a man with Mrs. Robinson. As Carl said, It's like a grad class, I could learn a lot about how to be an interesting original woman. Of the 5 choices, Mrs. Robinson is someone I wouldn't mind growing to be like. And since the prize in this case (the guy) is easily replaceable, I think Mrs, Robinson (whom I greatly respect) and I would have fun.
I would rather:
Battle hostile planets with Ripley at my side. For one thing, all the other choices put me in a situation that isn't any fun. Mental and physical illness, isolating disability - at least in the Ripley situation, I could be healthy, fit, clever, and in training to be just as cool as Ripley (until the aliens killed us of course). We might even be helping humanity, and not just ourselves.
I think you should have included the Alien herself as a candidate, considering her toughness, regal bearing, and dazzling smile(s). She has a way of getting under people's skin that makes her unforgettable.
I am competing for a man (DUSTIN HOFFMAN, yummy!) with my mother, Mrs. Robinson (VERY good looking Anne Bancroft, that means I'm pretty too!).
In the end he "turns out" gay (hey, I'm not Katharine Ross, just her amazingly handsome male version...) and we go to New York and live together for a while until I break up due to constant frustration and weeping (I look like a young male Meryl Streep during that period).
After that traumatic relationship I return to my mother's house who, after a nervous breakdown followed by a divorce from my father, turned out quite cool. We become close friends. After two years living with manic depression I decide to become a therapist. Suddenly one day in 1988 while on my way to a "therapist convention" the plane I'm on crashes. But I'm not dead, I'm someone else. I am a very handsome teenage boy with schizophrenia named Donnie Darko and I'm constantly "seeing" a man in a rabbit costume, which kind of freaks me out, but thank god for medication.
Of course I never mention the rabbit in front of my dear mother. I don't want to worry her, because I love her so much, even tough I called her a bitch one time, but hey, I'm schizophrenic and I'm really sorry about it.
After my condition worsens my mother goes visiting my therapist, which is actually ME (in another universe, that is), and so she discovers that she, Rose Darko, is Mrs. Robinson, who was one of the main characters in The Graduate from 1967, a film that was life changing for her when she was a teenager in the 60s.
She can't believe it, cries a lot, and some days later the universe collapses and I'm dead.
But thank god it was all just a bad dream, I, the male version of Katharine Ross, very handsome middle-aged therapist, am still alive and well...
O-K?!
Haha, I think this thing already has a winner...
Anything with Anne Bancroft. Anything.
I would dress as a woman as competition with Bancroft and then when she got close enough to me to tell me off, I would lean in and kiss her.
Can't believe you didn't include Ingrid Magnussen.
though i think one big ol' omission from this list is Linda Hamilton's kick-ass Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. She's the freaking reason John Connor grows up to be a savior. Not only by giving birth to him, but by protecting him and making him into a man.
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