FYC Hell: Alice in Uglyland and the Art of Self Editing.

With screeners arriving and campaign parties starting, awards season is raring to go. The Oscar FYC ad pictured below, the first of the season, arrived today in my mailbox from the delightful Guy Lodge with the completely sensible command "Stop. This. Now." As many of you know, I loathe Tim Burton's Mia in Uglyland but I'm not dumb enough to think that it doesn't have a shot at a handful of Oscar nominations. Money, and hundreds of millions of bags worth of it -- each much larger than the Red Queen's oversized noggin -- goes a long way towards warming industry hearts.

The ad starts with the Claudia Puig USA Today quote "The movie should come with a note marked 'Watch me' for its extravagance of whimsy and wonder." and proceeds to list the names of 28 awards hopefuls (some of whom are very talented indeed... but... 'stop. this. now.' indeed)

There are so many things to be concerned with on this page, not least of which is how many optometrist appointments Ms. Puig seems to have cancelled recently.

[more bitching after jump]

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Take Three: Rosamund Pike

Craig here. It's Sunday. It's Take Three time.

Today: Rosamund Pike

Take One: An(ti) Education?

Earlier this year two great 1960s booze-soaked lushes missed out on Supporting Actress Oscar nods: Julianne Moore's Charley in A Single Man and Pike's Helen in An Education (2009). I'd personally have slotted both in the running had I sole ownership of the voting ballots. Similarly with her performance in The Libertine (see below) Pike sneaks in and very nearly scoops the film out of the hands of her co-stars. But, as with Moore, maybe her screen time wasn't quite enough to grab the Academy's full attention. No matter - Pike was the freshest and most lively presence in the film, Oscar nom or no.

Helen comes on like a Bright Young Thing - albeit dimly lit - full of the joys of life. But she wasn't all just boozy bewilderment though. She had some chirpy advice for novice It-girl Jenny (Carey Mulligan), which she dispensed through the fog of gin and the haze of cigarette smoke in the bars and boudoirs of swinging-‘60s London.

Party girl: Pike disses dictionary-loving debutante Jenny in An Education

She’s the current It-Girl of her group, so feels lightly threatened when new upstart Jenny enters their social orbit. But she’s oh-so polite with her perky put-downs. She’s flippant with Jenny because she knows her role as the in-thing of the group could very well be usurped. But she becomes her friend and confidant regardless, offering to take her shopping in Chelsea and introduces her to the wider social circle; she was Jenny’s role model in all things Chic and Now. Both girls are relatively privileged, but Helen is from the school-of-life-experience, the flip side to Jenny’s education-seeking debutante. She’s older and more versed in the particulars of partying and all things cultured, and she wards off life’s troubles with just the right amount of savoir-faire. It’s a nicely balanced, note-perfect performance (appearing sophisticated and dim at the same time can’t be easy) and Pike shines each time she’s on screen.

She don't need no education: Pike as Helen in An Education

Take Two: Sex, drugs and dribbling

I’m not sure in what kind of light people hold up Laurence Dunmore’s The Libertine (2004) as it rarely receives mention these days (especially for a Johnny Depp film). It was a serio-comic one-off, an artful period piece - imagine Peter Greenaway directing astride a whoopee cushion - about infamously louche rake and poet John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (Depp); he’s being courted by King Charles II (John Malkovich) to write a be-all-and-end-all play for him. But as Rochester's reputation attests, and history dictates, it was frolicking naked actors, oversize phalluses and nose-eroding syphilis that were the order of the day.

Pike played Rochester’s long-suffering wife, Elizabeth Malet - and between John’s infatuation with actress Elizabeth Barry (Samantha Morton) and all his whoring and orgies, suffer long and hard she does. But she remained quite the loyal companion to the end - though she chose her moment wisely to out-deprave the much-depraved Rochester.

Picture-perfect by the picture window: Pike in The Libertine

Pike valiantly holds her own amongst strong thespian company; she's brilliant casting in the role. She’s the hidden gem of the film and gives a cracking performance in its most unassuming and least (initially) noticeable part. Malet is prim, vain and oh-so-comely; a picture-perfect thing of 17th-Century beauty; the very essence of a regal wife. Pike nails her scenes with apt restraint. But what surprises - in a late scene, when both Malet and Rochester have reached an absolute personal and social nadir - is how she convincingly reconfigures her performance to show how Malet sinks a level or seven when she denigrates the degenerate Earl with just a flagon of wine and a baleful spike in her heart.

Pike providing solid 17th Century support in The Libertine

She matches Depp’s outré outbursts word for word, swigging booze manfully, and letting it drool down her face as she vents abuse at him. She gets a literal taste of his hedonism - and spits it back at him tenfold. Pike showed Malet was a force to be reckoned with: push a lady like her too far and social standing goes flying out the window. This intense scene, balanced with her earlier moments of serene, ladylike composure, made for a compelling, no-holds-barred performance. Pike proved she was much more than just a Bond girl here.

Take Three: Pike, the game player

But it’s not all Doom and gloom with Pike. A year later she teleported to Mars to find out what went wrong with some genetically-dubious human-mutant-hybrid shenanigans in Andrzej Bartkowiak’s 2005 film of the much-loved computer game. So ok, maybe it was a bit gloomy - she was called Dr. Samantha Grimm after all. But compared with chasing a syphilitic, silver-nosed Johnny Depp around 17th-Century England, sparring with space monsters was a breeze. Anyway, Doom has all to do with military superhumans, mutant devils and Grunts. Or SuperhumanMutantMilitaryGrunts. Or something. Either way, the red planet is not the only Rock Pike has to contend with: thick-necked actor-wrestler Dwayne Johnson joins the mission and adds a spoke in the works.

Mars or Johnson? Pike ponders which Rock to escape from first in Doom

As far as Pike’s performance goes, she gives it the exact amount of gusto required. It ain’t Shakespeare; but Pike knows this. She’s a game player - and how well she thesps is indicated by how frequently she stares at The Rock to seemingly determine just how different or not he actually looks after he’s turned into a SuperMutantMilitaryGrunt. And she did get to say, “10% of the human genome is still unmapped. Some say it's the genetic blueprint for the soul,” with a straight face and make it sound like everyone’s lives depended on it.

But the great thing about Pike’s part in Doom is that she’s not one to sniff at a daft sci-fi flick here and there (see Surrogates for further proof); she’s not above the occasional fun genre role. And I love her all the more for it. She gives the likes of Doom, Surrogates and Fracture as much actorly attention as she does Pride & Prejudice. In fact, I always thought Pike and Keira Knightley should’ve swapped P&P roles; Pike was a better fit for Lizzie Bennett in my view.

Here comes the science bit: Grimm times for Pike in Doom

Knightley got the sole acting Oscar nod in that film: an unfair neglect of Pike’s wonderful support, especially as both Emma Thompson (lead) and Kate Winslet (supporting) got nominations for that earlier Austen adaptation, Sense and Sensibility. Priding one actress over another with prejudice? Maybe. But some rising stars get awards adulation more than others - though I do hope that Pike gets raised to the heights Winslet and co. have been privy to for many a year at some future point.

But there’s one trick Hollywood really missed! One role that’s a perfect match for Pike’s equal opps dabbling in all things both literary and genre-based: she’d have been perfect casting for Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. For the love of mutant Austen, why was she not considered for the role?

Thoughts I Had While Watching... Alice in Wonderland

[Sigh]. You guys...

"Where have you been lurking?"

I've been meaning to write about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland for weeks now. But every time I so much as thought about doing so I felt a pit in my stomach as deep as that rabbit hole to Underland. I hate the movie sooooooo much. The flames... breathing... on the side of my face.

Why must it exist to taunt me with its billion dollar gross? Way to reward a filmmaker for lazy stagnation. Just pick a famous property, collect your usual coconspirators and then throw shit at the screen. Literally! You can convert it to 3D later. A billion dollars will be yours! As long as the masses recognize the title and you have a bankable star, you're gold. (See also: Sherlock Holmes).

I can't bear to watch the movie a second time. I usually skim back over when I write about films -- so these are just a few scattered thoughts expanded from my notes and my tortured memories of the nightmare witnessed.

<--- Alice sees a green spotted pig because, why the hell not? Nothing has to make any sense. The very essence of the property robs the lazy of having to pick which of their visual ideas to use.

Underland
What was with the "Underland" thing anyway? If you wanna get cute about messing with the title, at least have the balls to change it. Tim Burton's Alice in Underland would still be a stinking pile, but a rose by any other name would not smell as rancid. It can be quite enjoyable and fascinating to see artists riff on past stories, concepts and ideas from previous artists which is why we should all be thankful for the public domain (which greedy corporations are always trying to end... as if they had any hand in the original blood sweat and tears creativity). Once a story has been around for 50-75 years, shouldn't it belong to the world in actuality the way it belongs to the world in the abstract sense?

But just because you can riff on a past work, doesn't mean you should. Especially if you have nothing of value to add.

Ugliness
Mia Wasikowska is a pretty young thing but Alice is a dud. And she's even slightly ugly of personality at the end. Why does the screenplay make her mean spirited? At the end of the movie she actually humiliates her suitor by mentioning an unattractive health problem he has (I forget what it was). Yes, she is right to refuse the marriage offer from Lord Doofus (I don't care what his character name is, it matters not). But to humiliate him while doing so? Most lazy pandering movies present the unsuitable suitor as SO unsuitable that virtually no one should ever marry them. Said suitor should die miserable and alone. Remember WAY back in the day (a decade back, I guess) when movie women did not have hateful suitors or fiancees? As recently as the 90s filmmakers used to trust the audience to understand the nuance of "this guy is not right for her, which is too bad because he's kind of cool/nice." (see Reality Bites, Sleepless in Seattle and others). It wasn't always "this guy MUST be humiliated because he is so awful and oh, the very thought of her with him! You go girl, dump his ugly/insufferable/rude/unfeeling/cheating ass!" I swear to God Hollywood thinks we all have the EQs of lint. "This character good *grunt*. This character bad *grunt*."

Wouldn't her film-ending decision have had more gravitas if she had to say no to a good guy because, the dull domestic life wasn't for her. She's made for larger world travelling ambitions. Wouldn't that be more stirring? Something to actually think about while the credits played? I mean who wouldn't run from the life choice presented her? What kind of a character arc is that?

But her ugly insult and lame story arc is only a tiny thing. Everything in the film is ugly, whether by design, color combinations or sheer excess: The sets, the busy costumes, the special effects. Even Anne Hathaway is ugly and how is that possible exactly? That's not possible without the aid of hideous lighting and makeup design.

It's hard to feel bad about The Court and its way of life being destroyed in The Mad Hatter's backstory exposition flashback scene because that is ALSO garish. Sure, burn it down. No one will miss it.

Johnny & Helena & Alan
Johnny Depp has starred in seven Tim Burton films. The first two collaborations are classics (Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood) The third is solid (Sleepy Hollow). Thereafter its tough to argue that he was necessary or even right for any of the roles. You can't be a daring unpredictable weirdo icon if you become totally safe, predictable and familiar in your daring unpredictable weirdness. These things don't go together. MOVE ON.

The only actors who seem to be working above the material are Alan Rickman, a droll voice choice for the stoned caterpillar with that resonating slightly phlegmy bass of his and Helena Bonham-Carter. Her red queen is the saving grace of the film. Or rather the life raft. The film is not saved but her impeccable timing and focused stylization generally make her scenes tolerable. It's even hard to be annoyed by the nonstop CGI "help" because she knows what she's doing and she's doing it skillfully.


"You've lost your muchness."
This line, spoken by the Mad Hatter to Alice is a good one. It could well apply to Tim Burton, though. He has definitely lost his muchness. In its absence, he compensates with MUCH. The film is always always always too much. Every scene is tricked up with gaseous CGI swirls as if the celluloid can't stop farting.

Even the Chesshire Cat, usually a textbook example of the simplicity of great illusions, doesn't really disappear so much as dissapate into computer generated fumes. Adding to the smell is the distinct impression that the print had been urinated on by someone with a Jabberwocky sized bladder. Why was garish yellow their color of choice?

The movie's over compensating muchness, most obvious in its hideous color palette, busy f/x detailing (wait, this quarter of the frame is empty... throw some weird animal into it! Hurry!!!) and super long redundant sequences which manage to convey exactly one idea each -- fall, chase, fly, fight, etcetera -- reminded me of four other movies. George Lucas's entire ugly Star Wars prequel trilogy has a similar redundancy of one note scenes as well as a shared affinity for grotesque but unappealing creature designs. And most of the action sequences, lamely executed to a one, reminded of that patience testing dinosaur run in King Kong. King Kong was a fairly successful remake but that one scene stuck out like a sore thumb. It added virtually nothing to the story, it was redundant visually, it was OBVIOUSLY special effects (so the film stopped feeling seamless) and it went on forever... at least twice its justifiable length.

These are not good things to be reminded of.
F

<--- "Goodbye sweet hat"

Some final statistics & observations

• Running time in Underland: 108 minutes
• Running time in Nathaniel's apartment: 108 hours
  
• Length of time before I became annoyed: 41 seconds. I blame the absolutely unsurprising score by Danny Elfman. Same as it ever was. I liked his score for Milk a lot recently. Step away from the Burton, Danny Elfman, Danny Elfman.
• Standard length of time before Nathaniel usually starts shifting uncomfortably in his seat hoping that the movie will soon end: 91 minutes (comedy) / 109 minutes (drama) / never (A/A- minus level movies. I just watched The Best Years of Our Lives which is 172 minutes long and I could have watched an additional 220 minutes if William Wyler had only let me. But that's a topic for a forthcoming post.)
• Moment in which I stopped hating the movie briefly but can't for the life of me remember why: Something about the Mad Hatter in his new office making hats for The Red Queen.
  
• Percentage of scenes with more f/x than there needed to be: 89%
• Missed opportunities for subtext: ∞
  
  
• Last time it was super easy to love a Tim Burton live-action movie without reservations: 1996's Mars Attacks!
  
• Last time Tim Burton made a truly excellent movie: 1994's Ed Wood
  
• Moment I began to suspect that Alice was by far the worst movie Tim Burton had ever made: The 43 second sequence in which Alice falls down through the green scree -- rabbit hole and keeps on falling. And keeps on falling. And kept on falling through sloppy green screens and random imagery, furniture and obstacles that she had to duck or collide with. Was it a movie? A video game level? A test reel? A bad drug trip? Whatever it was, it was pointless. I don't know if you've ever timed other big movie sequences but 43 seconds is a really long time. You can fit a lot into 43 seconds if you aren't phoning it in or editing on quaaludes.
  
• Offscreen moment of which I am most ashamed: Wishing Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton would have a horrible row and break up for good. One should never wish ill on happy couples. But she's such a good actress and she's just stuck in ever worsening movies.




• Number of times I wished that Anne Hathaway had never seen Amy Adams' Enchanted performance: 1,194
• Number of times you miss something 3D cool if you watch it in 2D: 0
• Number of times I thought about great Tim Burton films wistfully: 94
• Number of times I even wished I was watching Planet of the Apes or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: 4
• Number of times I lost the will to live: 1*
  
• Number of times I actually died: 0
• Number of future films by Tim Burton I'd like to see: ...guess.

*I made it all the way through this article without once mentioning Johnny Depp's breakdancing. Wait, oops!
*

Day of Rest (Starring Johnny Depp)

Shhhhhhhhh. Johnny has just been "introduced" and that can be stressful. Even if you are a perfect "10". Let him sleep.

I'm taking a quick day off myself to recharge and come back stronger for the lusty month of May. We need to get ready for the rest of 2010 (the year's screening thus far) and maybe even clear some of that 2009 backlog. *cough* I realize there's some unfinished business. Be back tomorrow!

I just hope my sleep is less troubled than Johnny's.

"Fuhgeddaboudit"

You know what I really miss? Johnny Depp as recognizably human characters.

I feel this pang every time I see a commercial for Alice in Wonderland with that orange fright wig. I fell for Johnny as Crybaby and Edward Scissorhands and I was thrilled when the whole planet fell hard for him (finally!) when Captain Jack Sparrow arrived on a sinking ship. But over the years Cartoon Johnny has become the brand. Seeing Johnny work his dramatic muscles? Fuhgeddaboudit. I thought we'd go there last year with Public Enemies but something didn't quite take.

It's not that I don't love the stylized cartoons. Nobody does that better... but I think some grounded stretching might be artistically rejuvenating. Lately my mind keeps drifting back to Donnie Brasco (1997) one of his best and least discussed performances. I'd love to see him do something like that soon.


It'd be especially thrilling if he was paired with an actress as fiercely individualistic as himself again. Anne Heche is absolutely special in that movie. The multitude of beats and backstory grudges and thorny specificity and sexual attraction she works into that performed relationship is quite a feat. She so deserved an Oscar nomination that year. And deserved more from Hollywood in general.

Where was I? Heche stole the movie from everyone and now she's stealing this post from Johnny! I would have nominated them both that year. My lists woulda looked like so...

1997 Best Actor
Russell Crowe, LA Confidential
Johnny Depp, Donnie Brasco
Christopher Guest, Waiting For Guffman*
Ian Holm, The Sweet Hereafter
and I'll leave one spot open since I somehow have still never seen Robert Duvall in The Apostle

1997 Best Supporting Actress
Kim Basinger, LA Confidential
Anne Heche, Donnie Brasco
Julianne Moore, Boogie Nights
Parker Posey, Waiting For Guffman
Christina Ricci, The Ice Storm

Are you looking forward to Mad Hatter Johnny or do you want something less Mad sometime real soon?

*Yes, that's a 1997 movie. IMDb confuses people. It was released in 1997

Decade in Review: 2003 Top Ten

As you may have noticed, I will not be done with my Decade in Review until sometime into the new year. Hopefully we'll wrap up shortly after the Oscars; You know how distractingly all-consuming the Oscars can be! I hope you'll stay with it even though the rest of the media will move on any second now. They're always in such a rush. No stopping and smelling of the flowers. I've still got to update that "Actors of the Aughts" project for final compilation/statement. For now, let's move on to 2003. What follows is my original top ten list, based on films released in NYC in 2003. If I have anything new to say that'll be in red after the original text.


Special Mentions: The Cremaster Cycle and Angels in America
Most Underappreciated: Hulk (Ang Lee), In the Cut (Jane Campion), Anything Else (Woody Allen), Charlies Angels: Full Throttle (McG) and Casa De Los Babys (John Sayles)
I stand by all of these but for Anything Else which I don't much care for. I was making lots of excuses for it because I was still hanging on to my fading then favorite writer/director. Now that Woody has recovered some of his lost mojo, I can happily let that one go.
Top Ten Runners Up: The Man Without a Past (Aki Kaurismaki), Elephant (Gus Van Sant), The Triplets of Belleville (Sylvain Chomet), and Yossi & Jagger (Eytan Fox) which, if you don't count Return of the King, is the best homo movie of the year!

10 X2: X-Men United (Bryan Singer)
Tacit proof that sequels needn't be creatively dead retreads, inferior duplicates, or worthless blights on the cinemascape. X2 is so assured, exciting, breezy and fun that it is easily twice the film that the original was. Yet, for all of that...for its sheer popcorn enthusiasm, it is deceptively easy to dismiss. Only problem in doing so, though, is that it holds up. Multiple viewings and I'm still not bored. Chalk full of memorable imagery: Nightcrawler's attack, Wolverine's flash memories. Crackling dialogue and campy mutant "coming out" speeches sit comfortably along dead serious pleas for tolerance. Bravura action sequences, Magneto's escape, Wolverine vs. Deathstryke, and of course the attack on the Xavier's School. And that's not to even mention the pleasure of one of the year's best ensembles: Hugh Jackman continues to glow in the spotlight and thrill as Wolverine, that unlikely duo Sir Ian McKellen and Rebecca Romijn Stamos make the year's most deliciously naughty pair, Halle Berry is wisely pushed to the background, and Alan Cumming steps into my favorite X-man's shoes and doesn't disappoint as teleporting blue freak Nightcrawler.

My second or third favorite superhero flick ever. Spider-Man 2 is tops but Superman II is awesome, too. It's always the twos!

09 Peter Pan (P.J. Hogan)
Dec 7th, 2004 marks the the centennial of the first production of J.M. Barrie's play Peter Pan, or the Boy Who Would Not Grow Up and though it may seem shocking to see in print, P.J. Hogan's new film is, I believe, the first major time since that a boy has been cast as the stubborn impish lad. Imagine that! It's the first simple unmistakable sign that director and co-screenwriter P.J. Hogan (Muriel's Wedding) understands the material in a way that others don't, particularly those famed Pan fetishists Steven Spielberg, who dropped the gooey atrocity of Hook on us, and Michael Jackson, who built the Neverland ranch and threatened publicly for years to make his own movie version of the Barrie classic starring: Himself!!! Whatever one can say about Michael Jackson, he was not a boy at the time but a full grown man. No business playing Peter Pan in other words.

So, I found it rather disorienting this Christmas when a faithful rendition of the Barrie work arrived, and most people collectively shrugged. One gets the sense that J.M. Barrie's classic is no longer widely read. That quite possibly and unfortunately, people have replaced the play and book with the watered down Disney animated film as the definitive Pan. (Which is about as accurate a representation as Ariel replacing the original Little Mermaid text.) What a loss. Like the most enduring fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm, the actual story of Peter Pan is full of difficult truth, rough edges, and adult subtext. They're all here in this enchanting film.

Hogan's new Pan movie boasts the best Wendy performance I can recall (courtesy of the young and obviously talented Rachel Hurd Wood), the nastiest --and therefore most accurate -- Tinkerbell you'll ever see (mimed to fine effect by French hottie Ludivine Sagnier), and terrific cinematography courtesy of Donald McAlpine (Moulin Rouge!). Oh, the cleverness of this production. Perhaps this year's upcoming J.M. Barrie biopic, starring the great Johnny Depp, will remind folks of Pan's classic status, and turn people back to this unduly dismissed film.

Unfortunately the JM Barrie biopic that followed (Finding Neverland) was a dull snoozer. It did nothing for the reputation of this still undervalued family film.

08 The Barbarian Invasions (Denys Arcand)
Though I have yet to see The Decline of the American Empire, writer/director Denys Arcand's sequel to that 80s international hit felt like a family reunion nonetheless. It's not entirely pleasant, of course. Neither are family reunions. As critics have remarked, some of the characters are nearly monstrous in their selfishness, egotism and bitter regret. But this is also why, in the end, the film works. It feels honest. Its cynical undercurrent -liberalism is dying or already dead and these lefties are dinosaurs - is painful, but also arguably true in the global spread of uncompassionate capitalism. But the human face Arcand still locates in the love between Capitalist son and Liberal father thankfully transcends politics. Invasions has an impressive grasp of how political idealogies both power and limit us.

Somehow, briefly loving this movie this movie never convinced me to watch its predecessor and I almost never think of it. If I could redo the list I'd move it out and raise one of the runners up into the top ten. But which?

07 The Company (Robert Altman)
One of the most relaxed intuitive films I can recall seeing. It seems instinctually to be looking at its subject, the world of the Joffrey ballet, from just the right angle at all times. And yet for all this precision it never breaks a sweat. It's smartly lensed by cinematographer Andrew Dunn, gorgeously edited by Geraldine Peroni, and all masterfully guided by that supremely confident auteur Robert Altman, who makes it his own. Who needs a traditional plot when in the hands of a master?

You may have heard that this was Neve Campbell's pet project for some years. Some pet projects are worth the effort. First, she had the good sense to hire Altman, who has always had a way with community as protagonist. And then, bucking star convention, she showed an even more impressive lack of vanity. She slips comfortably into the film's dancing ensemble, showing off her considerable skills while never unbalancing the film with showboating. I suspect it goes without saying but it's easily the best thing she's ever contributed to the cinema or television.

06 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (Gore Verbinski)
I know next to nothing about ships and seafaring ways but I do know what an anchor is for. No ship can do without it. Dropped from its holding place within any waterborne structure it will stop its ship from veering dangerously off course by weighing it down. An anchor then, even when employed figuratively, implies the element which keeps any vessel in place. As in "that plot structure really anchored the film by allowing the drama to unfold in unexpected but sturdy ways" or "The actress's intimate and perceptive performance anchored the film to reality -when the plot holes threatened to do it in" or some such...

What Johnny Depp is to Pirates is the polar opposite of an anchor. But, never worry, this ship is still safe. One of the world's most gifted actors seems to be, to borrow from Peter Pan, spreading pixie dust across an entire film. There will be no traditional course for this bloated movie ship. It is soaring now, like some wild-eyed adventurer, up into the heavens. It defies reality and the conventional mediocrity of its origins. One has no idea where it's going --to ruin? to the exalted rare realms of classic adventures like Raiders of the Lost Ark or The Adventures of Robin Hood? No matter. The journey is the reward. When you've got the Performance of the Year steering your course, who needs the dead weight of anchors? Wherever this ship is taking you -- go, man, go!

I wish this had been in my Best Picture nominees (the top five). It never gets old. I don't need to ever see either sequel ever again but my love for the original is undiminished. Whenever it's on I end up watching.


05 Raising Victor Vargas (Peter Sollett)
Apart from In America, this is the most warmhearted picture of the year. It glows with the dedication and communal love and effort of its amateur cast (all giving professional level performances) and its debuting writer/director. To call the man in question, Peter Sollett, "one-to-watch" would be an understatement. That 'glow' of which I spoke is also given literal visual form by ace up-and-coming cinematographer Tim Orr (All the Real Girls, George Washington). Vargas is a deeply pleasurable, funny, and humane look at a struggling Dominican family on the Lower East Side and their wannabe Casanova, Victor (Victor Razuk), who spars continually with his religious Grandmother, hilariously played by Altagracia Guzman. See it.

04 thirteen (Catherine Hardwicke)
"Zen Chicken" is this divisive film's most seemingly random bit -- the unhappy makeshift family gathers giggling around a bird that never loses his balance, no matter which way he's tipped or turned. This scene became, as the year progressed and the film grew in my heart, my favorite moment. The film's detractors will tell you that it is too histrionic, unhinged, and immature to qualify for the awards it is intermittently courting. It's not that these claims are false, just that they're misdirected. The ragged hormonal surges of adolescence, the hysteria of teenage whims and social constructions pulse strongly and appropriately, I'd add, (credit to the film's director and co-screenwriter Catherine Hardwicke) through the film. Its jittery, confused and angry moodshifts (embodied by Evan Rachel Wood) are always threatening to topple the whole affair into tabloid sensationalism. And there, in the same overcrowded movie house is the deep fierce reserve of tough maternal love (in the form of Holly Hunter) which could also in lesser hands topple the film in the other direction into After School Special messaging. In the meeting of these two spectacular performances the film transcends both tabloid exploitative "the kids are not all right" indie zeal and After School Special tough love messaging. This film is special. This film has balance. It's a Zen Chicken.

Thirteen deserved more accolades than it got, I'm 100% certain. But I may have gone a wee bit overboard in my love. Still... tis a pity that it was Keisha Castle-Hughes that became the youngest Best Actress nominee ever when Evan Rachel Wood was right there on view, running circles around actresses twice her age.

03 Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola)
What else is there to say? It's so distinctive and perceptively modulated that the very not-at-all-universal particulars of the situation (i.e. the ennui of a has-been still wealthy movie star and the boredom of a privileged young girl) melt away to get at the universal feeling of dislocation. The perplexing condition of being lost in your own skin is a great movie subject but undoubtedly hard to film. Credit goes to Ms. Coppola herself as writer/ director, the terrific and essential chemistry between Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson and Lance Acord the cinematographer, for helping us to see a major metropolis in the same way the characters would be seeing it.

Everyone does want to be found. I imagine a good deal of the love this film has encountered, is that in an artistic sense, Coppola's sophomore effort probably found a lot of unsuspecting audiences members. If you've been previously lost in the multiplex with no one and nothing speaking to you, this could be your film.

02 Kill Bill, Vol. I (Quentin Tarantino)
So potent is this film's movie-movie force (it's tough to imagine a stronger blend of cinematography, editing, musical / structural invention, and overall cinematic chutzpah) that I was briefly tempted to place it in the #1 spot. But then, why punish the year's best film for being only a third of its true self and simultaneously reward half of this motion picture? Didn't make sense. So the number #2 spot it gets.

blood-red is the new black

It's too early to say, with authority, if Kill Bill is all it seems cracked up to be, but I await Volume 2 with great excitement. I suspect we're looking at a subversively violent masterpiece. I don't currently believe that the film is as lacking in morality and self-critique as its enemies do. I suspect the overall circular vengeance motif will cause its anti-heroine much pain in Volume 2. But I'll keep an open mind should it fail to deliver. The final verdict awaits. But regardless, Tarantino really needs to work more. Cinema is in his blood. So much so that he can dump gallons of it onscreen visually and still keep on swinging like it's only a flesh wound. This movie's heart, thanks to Thurman's great range as "The Bride", is still beating furiously despite copious amounts of blood lost.

So... Vol II did not live up to my rather naive dreams about some sort of revenge auto-critique. I must have been confusing vengeance-loving Tarantino with another filmmaker. Er... But I still love Vol I and I'll always cherish the Elle Driver bits in Vol II

01 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Peter Jackson)
Gandalf the White is our sage guide throughout the great trilogy of the Lord of the Rings. One of his most famous quotes is "All you have to decide is what to do with the time that's given you" I think it's safe to say that this film's director, producer, writer, and driving force Peter Jackson chose well.

One can quibble with minor bits and pieces of each film. The Fellowship of the Ring was, after all, all beginning, no resolution. The Two Towers had awkward middle structural three-fold problems and The Return of the King is repetitive given the six hours of films we've already seen covering the Middle Earth war. The film's much maligned ending (from the strange not altogether wise choice to alter the Mount Doom finale all the way to the multiple fadeouts) has been sufficiently covered elsewhere.

But why bother with petty quibbling when the whole is this magnificent? Behold the cinema's first great fantasy epic. The film that gets both spectacle and intimacy right. Here is a filmmaker that understands that special effects and CGI are only another tool of filmmaking -not an end point. They're there to advance a narrative, deepen a characterization, and show us the fully realized world of the film. Then consider the cast -- every major role inhabited by an actor totally there and committed to serve the vision. And finally, breathe a final sigh of relief: Behold a genre series that, upon its conclusion, didn't prove itself a massive letdown for its loyal audience.

Peter Jackson "You bow to no one."

And that's that. Jackson's subsequent work has disheartened me but he'll always have this spectacular trilogy and the nearly peerless Heavenly Creatures.
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What were your favorites of 2003? Films I didn't mention here that made waves were In America, City of God, Freaky Friday, 21 Grams, Elf, Monster, Something's Gotta Give and a whole school of movies with literal waves or soggy titles like Mystic River, Master and Commander, Whale Rider, Seabiscuit, Finding Nemo and Big Fish.

The Blog Saga: New Link

Movies Kick Ass deconstructs yet another photoshop casualty (i.e. movie poster), this one for NINE . My thoughts on that film will hopefully be up later today... time is a tough taskmaster.
Cinema Styles looks forward to Luise Rainer's 100th birthday in January. We should all be celebrating! Especially since she'll (god willing) still be alive for it. She was Oscar's very first two-time acting winner... beating Spencer Tracy to the title by one year.
Topless Robot Batman's TV villains who should make the leap to the screen
Scanners (sarcastically) hates on ambiguous movie endings
Empire keeps track of Thor's ever expanding cast list so you don't have to. The only person this chart is missing (as far as I know) is Kat Dennings (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)
In Contention looks at the Adapted Screenplay Oscar race
Noh Way expresses photographic love for director/muse duos beyond Pedro & Penélope

Sexiest Men Alive?
popbytes is on the Brad Pitt beard watch. Did it cost Brad the title of...
People's "Sexiest Men Alive". It's not just Johnny Depp. Roughly every famous person shows up. Though...
Go Fug Yourself has a laugh about the Glee photoshoot therein
My New Plaid Pants, uninfluenced by mainstream rags, remembers his love for Jean Claude Van Damme [nsfw]

Twi-Hard
Bright Lights After Dark "tortured longing is the new coke" Erich's inner 13 year old makes a case for The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Erik Lundegaard gleans box office meaning: stop ignoring girls
Variety director Chris Weisz blames New Line for the way The Golden Compass (2007) turned out. You know, I liked that movie more than most but it was but 1/20th of what it could have been given how excellent the book is. But I'm not sure you can take this in a black & white way, blame wise. Why would they interfere so much there but not on The Lord of the Rings? Would they have interfered with Peter Jackson if he weren't such a goddamn visionary? I just think this is probably a gray area unless Weisz has suddenly shown new cinematic mastery with New Moon. And well...
Antagony and Ecstasy thinks it's "boring as fuck-all". And wouldn't that indicate some degree of problems with Weisz' powers behind the camera?

...and no, I have no real plans to see New Moon. Unless it falls into my lap, I shan't ever know if it improves upon the original (which wouldn't be a significant hurdle). Time and money are both precious commodity this time of year. I have so many movies left to see in such a short time frame before awards are passed out. So I'm not going to pay hard earned $ to be bored (and support Mormon causes financially) if I don't have to for Oscar write up purposes. I'm guessing I don't have to worry about this movie securing nominations. If I'm wrong I promise to stare at Kristen Stewart and her dead eyes (shouldn't she be playing the vampire?) for 2.5 hours and issue my mea culpas.
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Links

Old Hollywood I had no idea that blooper reels existed of old black and white films. It's so weird to see Jimmy Stewart, Bette Davis and Bogie flubbing their lines. It ain't right!

Victim of the Time "a half-child of Disney"
I Need My Fix alerts us to another Worth1000 contest. Check out 'Viggo by Carravaggio' among many others

Fin de Cinema France's young actor Yasmine Belmadi (Criminal Lovers, Who Killed Bambi?) dies.

Topless Robot a 12 year old girl made feature length zombie film? My god I'm so unaccomplished (sniffle)

MTV I was sick to death of hearing about Comic-Con before it even began last night but I am a sucker for James Cameron and I won't be able to resist the Avatar news. This is a 14' tall powersuit from the film.

Broadway World I'm assuming you've heard that Johnny Depp dropped the desire to portray the legendary Carol Channing into an interview recently. Channing responds

It is not a new concept to me. Not at all. Men have been imitating me for as long as I can remember. In fact, most of the impersonations I have seen have had a five o'clock shadow. I imagine, when or if Johnny should portray me, he will succeed.

While you've been reading this post, I've been sitting in a screening room watching Meryl Streep do Julia Child. More soon...

Off Cinema

Loyal K*N*G this is fun. "Fast Food Mafia" artwork

FourFour sums up Lindsay Lohan TV movie Labor Pains for you.

The Wonderland Teaser

A peak through Tim Burton's looking glass



Curious. I've been wondering for awhile how Johnny Depp's starpower would affect the story, the Mad Hatter being a relatively minor character. At least in trailer form he becomes the narrator of the tale. Teasers sometimes use framing or narrator devices that don't appear in actual films in a sort of "presenting!" way ... but this seems more than likely as a way to expand The Mad Hatter's role.

There is a place...
like no place on Earth.
A land full of wonder, mystery and danger
Some say to survive it you need to be as mad as a hatter...
...which luckily I am

At any rate I hope they don't waste too much time explaining things to the audience. One thing that works absurdly well here is how quick you get to wonderland. The initial story points are so instantly recognizable -- fall down rabbit hole, drink potion, meet an odd array of characters (Tweedlee Dee and Tweedle Dum, The Cheshire Cat, etcetera...) before the more dangerous insanity begins -- that I hope the film doesn't dawdle but speeds through its wonders to keep us as disoriented as Alice.

Once a better quality teaser emerges (this one is so muddy... probably from all the copying and reposting -- the teaser was a blink and you'll miss it affair yesterday) I'll replace this one.

Public Enemies

BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!

RAT-A-TAT-TAT

Christian Bale actually shoots my (guilty pleasure) Channing Tatum down early on in Public Enemies but I've totally forgiven him because I'm so pleased that he didn't shout at the camera with crazy eyes this time. I was getting so tired of that. My second favorite scene in the movie is totally his lone scene with Johnny Depp through the bars of a jail cell, both men subtly trying to come out on top of the verbal smackdown. Bale is totally intense in the scene without once doing his "LOOK HOW INTENSE I AM!" thing. Well played Bale, well played.

My full review of Public Enemies is up over at Towleroad. In addition to holding forth on Public Enemies (which I heartily recommend to some and not to others) my weekly column offers up new gay movie news and wraps up with the criminal cool of Bette Davis. So, go read it.

But back to PE...

I'm totally fascinated by the diverse opinions I've been hearing and reading. Rather improbably for a straightforward gangster story, it seems to be something of a rorschach test, people reacting to it in completely personal ways. How else to explain nearly exact opposite reactions such as 'this is a character study but the action doesn't work' vs. 'there is zero character development but the action scenes are well shot'.

It's for this very dichotomous reason that I don't subscribe to either of the Oscar race notions floating around out there: the pro 'The Oscar race has begun' or the con 'Dead on arrival. Look at the middling reviews!' It seems obvious to me that it's the type of picture that will need time to settle. I think that's a good thing. Too many movies are instantaneously celebrated or dismissed on their very first day in theaters (and sometimes before that). Christ, let them breathe a little.

But if you've seen it, do add your initial impression to the confusing dogpile. After all, gut reactions come before full digestion.
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Red Carpet: Radioactive Lohan & Gangster Depp

It's that time again, Red Carpet Lineup. Here's a (truly) random sampling of actors at events this past week. Let's check in with...

Ever classy Lindsay Lohan who celebrated her 23rd birthday (it's actually tomorrow) at a Vegas pool wearing that, flashing a peace sign, and sporting bright blue contacts. Unless she's been spending too much time on Nevada's nuclear testing grounds, those are contacts. I should never ever look at Lohan as she's become the avatar of Lost Potential. She found the empty calories of fame more enticing than the rich nutrients of good actressing.


Public Enemies opens today and it should be an interesting test of Johnny Depp's box office pull. The public is generally averse to period dramas but they do like gangster crime films so it's a bit of a toss up, really. It's already on IMDb's Top 250 but that's typical for masculine "cool" movies when they first open. It's early still and the mixed reviews so far are fascinatingly contradictory. You know that old saw "you must have seen a different movie than I did" Who to believe?

Patricia Clarkson is all smiles and why not? Knowing that you're the best thing in your movies must be heartwarming. That's definitely true of Whatever Works. The only thing that makes bad Woody Allen scripts bearable is his ability to get fine actors to vividly color his caricatures. In Whatever Works Patty is forced at penpoint to delineate the conversion from empty-headed bible thumping Southerner to bohemian polyamorous New Yorker. The movie has little flashes of against-all-odds charm but it's mostly annoying in its broad and stale misanthropy. Yes, I'm a Woody apologist to some degree but I'm not going to apologize for this one.

<-- Josh Duhamel's got something in his eye. Dreams of movie stardom outside of Transformers, perhaps?

Kristen Bell sent geek hearts fluttering when she attended the Saturn Awards. She lost but she's a previous winner (this nomination was for her bad girl on Heroes -- people still watch that?!? -- but the previous three and one win were for good girl Veronica Mars). After years of television it looks like Forgetting Sarah Marshall prompted a committed big screen leap. She's got five movies on the way. First up: Romantic comedy When in Rome with Josh Duhamel, Danny DeVito, Anjelica Huston, Will Arnett and my friend Luca Calvani whom I've already congratulated for the gig. Go Luca! It's about time Hollywood bit.

I've placed Mike Doyle in the lineup to keep you and myself guessing about who might be included each week. He's here only because he was a) at the opening of Twelfth Night and b) he's got a role opposite Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole. The play it's based on had only five roles and his character "Craig", unless they've changed the names, was not one of them so there's been some expansion for the screen. I hope he dies in the movie! He's previously worked Off Broadway and played "Leprechaun" in the Hilary Swank vehicle P.S. I Love You (I don't want to know) but he's best known from regular work on both Oz and Law & Order: SVU.

Hey, it's Rosie Perez. "Fight the Power!" She's been on my mind because of the Do The Right Thing anniversary. I miss her absolutely rambunctious screen presence. Good to see her, however briefly, in Pineapple Express. Get it Rosie!

The Mad(onna) Hatter

A friend of mine kept saying that the new photos of Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter reminded him of none other than Madonna. So, he followed up with morphthinged evidence to prove his theory...


Hmmm, musta been that endearing gap tooth that tipped him off. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland Madonna in Wonderland coming to theaters... never.

Come to think of it... maybe this was Madonna's problem with the acting side career in the the late 80s and early 90s. She needed to be doing small bits in weirdo movies like Alice... She kept trying to play characters that any actress might essay when an outsized offscreen celebrity persona actually requires a larger-than-life / fantastical character to contain it -- in the absence of a true acting gift, that is, which only rare pop stars (Cher and, hmmm, Sting? Dolly?) turn out to have. The roles that fit best were thinly-veiled-Madonna (Desperately Seeking Susan, Star), Madonna (Truth or Dare... and yes, I consider that a performance and her best one), Breathless Mahoney in Dick Tracy (cartoon) and Evita (larger than life!)

LinkyDee LinkyDum

le cinema
StinkyLulu investigates Cher's work in Silkwood. I just watched this again and I love this performance. In fact, I love every turn in the film including Kurt Russell's. I wish Mike Nichols would make something this humble but stirring and potent again.
New Yorker Evan Rachel Wood takes trapeze lessons. Fun piece... though I'll believe Jodie Foster's decades-delayed Flora Plum circus project -- not mentioned but why else the trapeze lessons -- when I see it.
In Contention A Christmas Carol sneaks.
Score Enthusiast on Alexandre Desplat's work on Chéri
Nick's Flick Picks a beautiful even handed tribute to Meryl Streep's career and its foibles, triumphs and unique pleasures

It's gay pride week in NYC
FourFour has a great post on the documentary Ask Not on gays in the military and Brüno's comedic use of homophobia
Boy Culture takes justifiable aim at Will & Grace creator Max Mutchnick who has been dredging up the ol lame chestnut 'these people don't represent me'. When will people learn that wedge politics are not helpful for minorities?

miscellania
Toys R Evil Marilyn's Mickies - a cheesecake mashup [not really SFW]
Blog Stage Sarah Jessica Parker is making a reality show American Artists. There's a reality competition for just about everything now 'cept blogging. It's hard to dramatize typing, isn't it?

i challenge you...
to beat my score on Cryptic Canvas. It's a really hard but fun movie naming painted puzzle (all films from the past 20 years). Thanks to In Contention for pointing it out. I only got 27/50 answers in 20 minutes. Challenging stuff. I'm still so confused by the three pony-tailed girls in the graveyard.

Alice in Teaserland

Maybe "Tweedle Dee!" should be the new "Squeeeee!" for excited exclamations. You've probably seen the new images via USA Today and the info on Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland? But I'd like to talk about the cast and the polish. One of the only pluses of mainstays like 'Wonderland' being retold each decade over original work is to see how the different eras and visual artists interpret them.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Wonderland. If you click over to USA Today you can move
around in the gardens with your mouse. For what it's worth it looks like
Edward Scissorhands has been hired as Wonderland's landscape artist.

Mia Wasikowska as Alice (the oldest Alice since Meryl Streep?) and
Matt Lucas as Tweedledee and Tweedleydum

Helena & Anne Hathaway as Red & White Queens. Depp as Mad Hatter.
I love what My New Plaid Pants says about the latter: "if Elijah Wood
and Carrot Top had a baby" Ha!

The look is certainly eye-popping and I will be there on day one (March 5th, 2010 to be exact) but maybe the saturation (will it be garish onscreen?) and practically-an-animated-movie CGI smoothness is worrisome. Is Burton moving too far into George Lucas 'make it up on the computer later!' green screen terrain as a filmmaker? And given that we're seeing a batch of teasing photos a full 270 days before this is opening is this going to be one of those movies (like Terminator Salvation or Spider-Man 3) that shows and tells all prior to its release?

What, me? Worry???

I'm thinking about Burton's oeuvre today because i09 is remembering the game changing public mania that surrounded the release of Tim Burton's Batman 20 years ago tomorrow (June 23rd, 1989). Yes, long before Nolan made that crazy successful The Dark Knight, Burton was largely creating our current movie culture. Supermans I-IV beat him to the superhero game but their very rapidly diminishing returns didn't make the superhero franchise idea all that viable. It was Burton and that yellow and black symbol, plastered on everything, that did it.

Remarkably that particular Batman starred neither Johnny Depp (the star of literally 50% of Burton's filmography) nor Helena Bonham-Carter (who appears in 6 of Burton's 14 features). If the film were remade today they'd be your Batman Joker and Vicki Vale replacing Jack Nicholson and Kim Basinger.

<-- You know they would!

I'm exaggerating a little since their absence was a given. Burton probably hadn't even met them. In 1989 Depp was still on 21 Jump Street and Helena Bonham Carter was that tiny corseted Merchant/Ivory dress-up doll.

Burton's Troupe O' Players

Johnny & Helena aren't the wild haired auteur's only favored thespians. He isn't quite Woody Allen or Scorsese in the steady faces game, but here's a list of his other pets. I personally think he's underused Sarah Jessica Parker who aced both of her Burton roles, totally understanding his peculiar comic tone.

6+ collaborations
Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter

5 collaborations
Lisa Marie (Burton's ex) - Ed Wood, Mars Attacks!, Planet of the Apes, Sleepy Hollow and the short Stainboy

4 collaborations
Christopher Lee - Sleepy Hollow, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice
Deep Roy -Planet, Big Fish, Charlie, Corpse Bride

3 collaborations
Danny DeVito -Batman Returns, Mars, Big Fish
Jeffrey Jones -Beetlejuice, Ed Wood, Sleepy
Michael Keaton - Beetlejuice, Batman, Batman Returns
Glenn Shadix - Beetlejuice, Planet plus Stainboy

2 collaborations
Albert Finney -Corpse Bride, Big Fish
O-Lan Jones -Edward Scissorhands, Mars
Martin Landau -Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow
Jack Nicholson -Batman, Mars

Sarah Jessica Parker -Ed Wood, Mars
Vincent Price -Edward Scissorhands and the short Vincent
Paul Reubens -Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Batman Returns
Alan Rickman -Sweeney, Alice
Winona Ryder -Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands
Timothy Spall -Sweeney Todd, Alice
Missi Pyle -Big Fish, Charlie
Sylvia Sidney -Beetlejuice, Mars Attacks!

Who are your favorite Burton players? Share in the comments. Do you think he should keep reusing people or move on like Paul Thomas Anderson when he left all his regulars behind for There Will Be Blood?

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