La la la la la la, Smurf the whole link long.

/Film a remake of Citizen Kane? This satiric trailer savages our cinema today.
popbytes Hugh Jackman trains giant robots to box in Real Steel. This sounds so terrible that I desperately want it to be a Bad Movie We Love.
USA Today first look at The Smurfs (speaking of bad movies waiting to happen)
Movie|Line alerts us to a new Chen Chang movie on DVD called Parking. We love Chen Chang.
Towleroad something for the prurient among you: Kellan Lutz costume fitting for The Immortals.

CHUD & The Flick Filosopher are worried about movie geek tastes becoming so dull and unadventurous. What's happened? It's simple. Everyone became a geek. And once something's mainstream...
Silly Hats Only hosted a White Elephant blog-a-thon yesterday. Participating blogs gifted each other with odd movies to write about. See the results.
Low Resolution "She Should Work More Vol XXVI: Amy Madigan" Well stated, Joe. She should. My guess is she's not "soft" enough for what Hollywood wants even in "hard" women.
Broadway Buzz under the 'life is unfair' umbrella add: I missed this Sutton Foster show. Why must I love artforms that are beyond my socioeconomic reach?
Tabloid Prodigy an oral history of Showgirls. Heh. You said 'oral'.
popbytes Taylor Lautner wants to model his career on Tom Cruise's huh. I have a number of problems with this and they are 1) Tom Cruise 2) a role model??? 3) Didn't Taylor want to be Matt Damon last year? Make up your mind!
The Fug Girls commemorate the most awkward moment (ScarJo + Liev Schreiber and Ryan Reynolds) we saw at the Tony Awards with their infallible lip reading skills.
Movie Addict a radio discussion of the funniest movie actresses of all time. The assembled panel is a wide mix of age ranges and the list they come up with stretches over the decades too all the way from Myrna Loy (who gets a ton of love) through Madeline Kahn and on to newbies like Tina Fey. Fey as an all time movie actress? Er... I love Fey but she's very TV. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you ask me, though, a list without Carole Lombard in the upper rungs is insanity!

Finally if you choose to click on this link, a warning. "Now a warning?" That link will take you to the most horrifying thing you will have seen in weeks months. It's like Nathaniel's nightmare film world, visualized. Proceed at your own risk.
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Into Link Groove

general cinema
Dark Eye Socket a triple bill recommendation: frightening fiendish females
Inquirer Entertainment Shirley Maclaine is still quotable. Also babysits Bening-Beatty kids!
Socialite Life Kellan Lutz to play Poseidon in War of the Gods. This story is all over the blog rounds but the best part of the story is the one that's not making any headlines: Tarsem Singh (The Cell, The Fall) is in the director's chair. Therefore, we must assume instant must-see rather than trashy dumb action flick


Old Hollywood Great 70s quote from Patti Smith on French legend Jeanne Moreau
My New Plaid Pants wait, what? Helen Mirren was besties with Brad Davis? Helen Mirren is quite possibly the most fascinating actress with whom I don't have a particularly deep bond. I should learn to love her more
SUNFiltered Isabella Rossellini's uniquely awesome Green Porno series gets a new name and batch of creature carnality
Towleroad Have you heard about this awful situation in a Canadian bar regarding Jake Gyllenhaal and asshole homophobic blogger? Yuck
Life Archives 17 great photos of Steve McQueen, King of Cool [thx]
Queerty a parody of RuPaul's Drag Race

politics and films
i09 has a great piece on healthcare reform through the prism of sci-fi's dystopia stories
Michael Moore have you read this astute Open Letter to Republicans. Funny, sad, and smart in equal measure.

off screen fun
Pop Justice Finland choir does Lady Gaga's 'bad romance'... how long til America tries a version of this reality concept? Post Glee I totally see it happening.
Critical Condition starts a (seemingly massive) Madonna countdown project
I Need My Fix Kristin Chenoweth is delightful whether on Twitter or Ambien or both simultaneously
AIGA/NY an evening of really bad book covers. Sounds interesting
Litely Salted "Oh, Lindsay" I've placed LaLohan in the "offscreen" section because she is obviously no longer movie-related. Which is sad.

When Hype Turns to Overkill

Are you sick of hearing about Twilight yet? I can't wrap my head around Entertainment Weekly's total slavish devotion... they didn't put Titanic or Julia Roberts on every single cover until after the nation became obsessed. You'd think EW's corporate affiliation was to Summit Entertainment rather than Warner Bros. I love vampire movies and yet I'm considering skipping it. I'm already sick of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's faces. It's been hyped so absurdly much that it can't possibly live up to expectations.

<-- At this point if Kellan Lutz isn't stark naked for the entire movie I'm going to be disappointed. (Go that extra mile, Twilight, go that extra mile)

And on that note, may I say that my blog friend JA of My New Plaid Pants really needs to stop reading my mind and beating me to the punch. Whilst preparing this post I was clicking around the internets (as I am prone to do... I multitask) and I see this post. Not only is he drooling on the exact same man (and a supporting player at that) but his banner features Isabelle Adjani in Nosferatu (1979) who I just wrote about last night for a future post, I kid you not.

Is there a hidden portal in some office or apartment building in the Tri State area that goes straight into my brain? Is JA spending a lot of time dusting himself off beside the New Jersey Turnpike lately?

GET OUT OF MYYYYYYY HHHEEEEAD