Birthday Suit: Dolph 'the biggest one' Lundgren

Thought I'd goof around with a little b-day series. In case it's yours! Could be shortlived. Or maybe it'll go on forever. You never know.

Hal Hartley , Paprika Steen and Charles Bronson

Today's Birthdays, November 3rd

...some of them at any rate. For those who are prone to celebrating the lives of the filmic and famous. And if you aren't, you're not having enough fun.

1921 Charles Bronson had a Death Wish, five of them actually, and he had them before "franchise" was a daily spoken word in movie discussions.

1930 Lois Smith, sweet character actress, is now 79 years old. I once saw her in a train station. It's true. Weren't you shocked when she died on the first season of True Blood? I sure was.

<-- 1931 Monica Vitti, breathtaking Italian goddess
1953 Kate Capshaw aka Mrs. Spielberg. Did she sing or was she dubbed for that awesome "Anything Goes" opening number in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? It's a trivia question from 25 years ago. I'm so in-the-moment!
1954 Adam Ant, the acting career was short but the 80s hits live forever ♫ "we're just following ancient history if I strip for you, will you strip for me?"

1954 Brigitte Lin, The Bride With White Hair herself, is finally making another movie, The Grand Master, reuniting her with Wong Kar Wai. It's their first film together since Ashes of Time and the beloved, dream-like Chungking Express

1956 Gary Ross, producer, Oscar nomination collector, dabbles in directing (Pleasantville, Seabiscuit)

1959 Hal Hartley 90s indie auteur (The Unbelievable Truth, Trust). Where he been?
1964 Paprika Steen Danish actress, best known internationally for starring in the two most famous, most brilliant and very first Dogme 95 films: von Trier's The Idiots and Thomas Vinterberg's Festen.
1987 Gemma Ward, model/actress, recently donned creepy mask for The Strangers.
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Finally, I have to talk about Dolph Lundgren who turned 52 today. TFE's youngest readers will draw a blank but anyone over 30 will remember this Swedish hunk. Rocky's Russian rival was basically a second tier action star during the reign of Stallone & Schwarzenegger. Whenever I think of Dolph, I think of four things

1. That naked photoshoot he did with 80s girlfriend Grace Jones. What a visually striking pair they were.
2. The naked posters he did for the Chicago International Film Festival. Quite shocking at the time they were.
3. That naked action duet with Jean Claude Van Damme also known as Universal Soldier (1992)
4. That naked scene in Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991) that has to be one of the most hilarious Bad Movie sequences ever.

This sounds totally pervy, I know. But it's not like Dolph didn't invite it! He was always nekked. Ask anyone who was around in the 80s / early 90s. Back then action stars understood the selling power of the fleshy muscle display. They all sexploited themselves, not just Dolph. I sometimes think CGI was created to distract us from all the unnecessary clothing on movie stars.

In the spectacularly silly sequence mentioned above, cop Kenner (Dolph) and his partner Murata (Brandon Lee in his screen debut, prior to The Crow) take yakuza mob target Minako (Tia Carrere) to Dolph's remote home in the woods for hiding. That evening he strips down for some r&r in his outdoor hot tub. Way to hide, Dolph! Turn on them tub lights and turn on the bubbles... outdoors! Soon Tia (also naked) joins him. She learns that he built the house himself. He's beautiful naked and he has an artistic soul! Score.

Tia does. She can't sleep so she asks to share his bed. Soon enough they are doing the deed. Dolph lasts 14 seconds (literally) before Tia remarks, I kid you not, "...this time I heard you cumming". 80s movies were so racy! [editors note: I know this is a 1991 movie but it feels almost exactly like a low budget 1987 movie]. The scene is silly but it gets even more ludicrous. Dolph hears a noise outside. The evil Asian crime syndicate are surrounding the house. He jumps up (still naked) and throws on only black trunks in which he begins to shove weaponry including knives. I'm not making any of this up. Then he runs into his partner in the living room.

Some of the gayest most awkward bro dialogue ever emerges

Murata: Where's Minako?
Kenner: She's in my room
Murata: I knew that was going to happen
Kenner: She was frightened.
Murata: I saw you strip down in that hot tub. I'd be frightened too.

We're in trouble here, champ. There's more bad guys than we have bullets.

Murata: Just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you. You have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man.
Kenner: Thanks. (smiles) I don't know what to say.

Ummm, how about "you've seen them on women?" That's what I'd say. What the hell?

While the screenplay isn't helping, I can't even begin to express how delightfully bad the acting is, particularly by Brandon Lee. The movie probably deserves a multi-page recap article it's so time-capsule terrible. You must see it if you love bad movies. And if you already have, you must back me up in the comments.


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Remembering Madeline Kahn

Occasionally I'll look through my 'labels' in the internal machinery of this blog and think "my god! I never talk about [insert actor's name here]. Why? What's wrong with me?!?" Yesterday was such a day. The great Madeline Kahn would have celebrated her 67th birthday had she not left us far too soon, ten years ago in fact. Sniffle.

"Here I stand the goddess of desire, set men on fire... I have this power.
Morning, noon and night it's drink and dancing, some quick romancing...
And then a shower."

Team Experience
So, with fond memories of the genius comedienne on my mind, I asked a couple of my guest bloggers to tell me they're favorite Madeline Kahn moments. I need help you see. Obviously I haven't expressed enough love for her right here on my own. The damning evidence: No label before today.

Jose from Movies Kick Ass perked right up at the mention of her name:

Even if she was Oscar nominated two years in a row (for two comedies! One made by Mel Brooks!) my favorite thing Kahn did was her uptight, annoying Eunice in Peter Bogdanovich's What's Up Doc? Her exchanges with Babs are terrific and how she kept a straight face is miraculous. When she has gone through all the screwball hell Streisand subjects her to-including mistaken identity- it's priceless to hear her declare "I am not "A" Eunice Burns, I am "THE" Eunice Burns!" Only she could make disdain so funny and even lovable.

Everyone falls in love with Barbra Streisand in that movie. You're not supposed to root for Madeline Kahn's character but you simply can't go against her.

Glenn from Stale Popcorn starts down a familiar path and switches course

Is it too cliched if I say "Flames... on the side of my face," from Clue? It probably is, isn't it? However, if I truly must choose something that not every blogger in the known universe as quoted at some time or another, then I will go with Kahn's performance in History of the World: Part I. Her Empress Nympho is almost (repeat: ALMOST) as quotable as her Mrs White. If I had to choose just one moment though it would be her hilarious reading of "MY TITS ARE FALLING OFF!"

Kahn had such a way with line delivery, didn't she? I haven't seen it, but I'm sure she even got a few choice lines in when she did voice work in My Little Pony: The Movie. Oh yes, I'm sure she did!

Oh please, Glenn. You totally own that DVD. ;)

For my part, I always claim that my favorite Kahn lady is "Trixie Delight" in Paper Moon. Come to think of it, I bet Kahn's filmography rivals anyone's as character names go. Think about it: Eunice Burns, Empress Nympho, Lola Hopper, Lili Von Schtupp, Victoria Brisbane, Mrs. White, El Sleazo Patron, Estie Del Ruth, Trixie Delight. You need a fearlessly big talent to create characters worth of those monikers.



So, I always say it's my favorite but the competition is stiff and in truth I haven't seen Paper Moon since I was, like, 15. It's definitely time to revisit.

Paper Moon was only Kahn's second feature film but it brought her the first of two consecutive Oscar nominations. She lost to her co-star Tatum O'Neal, the lead who was slumming in the supporting category since she was only 10 at the time. O'Neal remains the youngest Oscar winner ever and her performance was a thing of natural beauty. But history-wise it still makes me a little sad for Madeline. Do you think she was jealous?

"I hated her sooo much, it, it the, it, flame, flames, FLAMES on
the side of my face, breathing, breath...heaving breaths, heaving"

What's your favorite Madeline Kahn performance?
And have you, like so many of us, quoted "flames... ", more times than you can count?
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Dustbowl Dreams

Hey gang, this is Thombeau, visiting from Fabulon and Arcanta. I'll try not to be too pretentious or annoying!

It wasn't until the mid-1960s that a new generation of filmmakers was ready to address "The Great Depression" in more artistic terms than the backdrop for the struggles of the noble Joad family. Though the cinematography may be beautiful in these films, giving a haunting, almost romantic feel, the barren landscapes and weatherworn faces of the poor provided desolate images of loss and despair. It is in the midst of dusty towns and rural environs that the following three films are set. You have probably seen them all, as they are universally acclaimed and considered modern classics by many. If you haven't, you really should, and if you have then you just might want to experience them again.

By far the most popular, and arguably revolutionary, of this trilogy is Bonnie and Clyde (1967). The beauty and charisma of its leads, the great ensemble acting, the sass and violence, all make for a rollicking good time with an overtone of serious issues. However fictionalized, this was based on events that actually took place. Hovering around the periphery is the constant reminder that these were hard times; people had lost everything and were just trying to get by. Robbing banks may have been a fun and easy way to get money, but most of those banks were near empty. The famous scene where Bonnie reunites with her elderly grandmother, on a windswept hilltop, is striking for summing up the era in a few short minutes with the eyes of an old woman who has seen it all.



Seldom taken as seriously, Paper Moon (1973) is not only a great comedy, it's a fantastic evocation of a time when pleasures were simple and money was scarce. The use of period music ("Let's have another cup of coffee"), or, conversely, the silence that fills the background in many scenes, plus the attention to detail in the prop, costume, and makeup departments, create a very definite time and place. Long dirt roads and wide open spaces provide a vast context for the tiny dramas of the lead characters. Once again, a windy hilltop comes to mind: when Miss Trixie, after going winky-tink, approaches young Addie and tells her what her plans are, the desperation and determination are obvious.



The incredible Days of Heaven (1978), though portraying a slightly earlier time, fits in well with the above-mentioned films. Much has been written about the fabulous, dreamlike cinematography. The vast and endless plains seem to swallow up the characters and their intertwined destinies. The sound of the wind is almost another character. The gypsy lives of migrant workers is shown without explanation; it's simply a given. Again, people are doing whatever they can to get by. This movie, more than most, is so image-driven that it is difficult to choose only one that sums it all up. If ever possible, see this on the big screen. Please.

Other recommended films that display an essence of the era are They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969) and Bound for Glory (1976), but this list is far from complete. Any additions that you're crazy about?


As a footnote to this post, I simply must add that each of these films has a fantastic supporting cast. Estelle Parsons won a well-deserved Oscar for her hysterical (in every sense of the word) performance in Bonnie and Clyde. Paper Moon would not be the same without the fabulous Madeline Kahn as Trixie Delight. Also, P. J. Johnson's performance as Imogene never fails to amuse! And Days of Heaven would not be as strange and wonderful without the phenomenal narration of a young Linda Manz. Great stuff!

via thombeau