The Scariest Place On Earth

Probably one of the main reasons Walt Disney World and Disneyland are so magical has a lot to do with animatronics - the robot like characters strewn throughout every park. Ducks, rabbits, fish, lions, pirates, ghosts and presidents designed down to the last finger twitch to look and act real. The technology may not be as impressive today, but the characters are still amazing. They're also really fricking creepy.

While I love the animatronics of Disney, I admire it from afar. I don't get too close to them, like I don't get too close to a wax statue, or a three foot antique doll displayed on a shelf in a house. There's always that fear that it will suddenly come to life and grab me. My greatest fear, and I mean greatest fear, is that I will be stuck in Pirates of the Caribbean, surrounded by countless robotic pirates. And maybe some kind of natural disaster happens (like a surprise hurricane?) so no one can get in, and the pirates have been knocked into the water but they continue to move. So I have to wade past all these moving robotic, lifelike pirates singing "yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me" to get to safety.

Did you just feel that shiver than ran up my spine?

I've come close to a nightmare like this. I was riding Splash Mountain at Disneyland when the ride shut down suddenly. We were underground and the music stopped but the animatronics did not. Now little woodland creatures are not as scary as full-figured pirates, but what really creeped me out was the sound of all their mouths clacking shut. The clacking continued for several minutes and I began to realize that a different version of my nightmare was actually coming to fruition right before my eyes. Just as I was assuming the fetal position and inserting my thumb in my mouth, a slew of Disneyland employees came in and escorted us out.

I was safe, but I may have wet myself a bit.