Yes, No, Maybe So: "Sucker Punch"

This goes out to anyone who caught the Sucker Punch trailer and anyone who cares about women as action heroes. Which, as you know, The Film Experience does. Unfortunately caring about something and enjoying it in practice are two different things. In practice there are so many things that can go wrong...

The trailer begins with an abused girl fights back set-up (a blouse ripped off and a  button flying in slo-mo. Suggested rape as your opening gambit? Distasteful). Emily Browning is playing the lead role of "Baby Doll" and reading the summaries, I see something about a lobotomy? Is that why the performance looks so sleepy/blank? Not promising. But soon enough Abbie Cornish and Jena Malone appear and seem to be channeling the kind of badass bitch energy that films like this need as life blood. They're both good actresses and I'm especially curious to see Abbie let loose given that I've mostly seen her in heavy dramas, corseted or otherwise.

There's some sort of Matrix like plot where reality is not reality... but we're in Baby Doll's imagination instead which, as it turns out, is like a parodic version of the imagination of a teenage boy: in her alternate reality, she's a master swordswoman / hooker who fights giant samurais, robots, zombies, aircraft, and dragons. She's backed up by a whole army of interchangeable blonde sex workers with machine guns.

Who knew that hookers were criminally insane, that their imaginations were so similar to teen boys, or that their favorite movies were Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Beowulf and 300?

On the other hand...

You wants us to watch the über watchable CARLA GUGINO doing a funky accent while ruling over a posse of criminally insane burlesque backup dancers? I mean... hells yeah. Count me in... as long as the movie is so bad it's good and knows how absolutely stoopid it is. (Past history suggests, unfortunately, that Zach Snyder is way too earnest a filmmaker to do justice to the ridiculous content of his movies. And Dawn of the Dead showed such promise, damnit.)

Summaries of Sucker Punch's confusing "girl retreats into imaginary universe to escape her wicked father" storyline, suggest that Carla is one of the villains. But in the trailer, she seems to be playing Laurence Fishburne's "Morpheus"" to Browning's idiot cousin version of "Neo." I have a loftier film icon in mind for Carla's gifts: Can't someone give her her own Cristal (Showgirls) level "Goddess" role soon. Time is running out.  'She's gettin a little old for that whorey look.'

Are you a yes, no or maybe so? 

I'm leaning hell no unless I hear that the lively cast of supporting actresses are fun enough to redeem the non-entity central role -- if this trailer is indication (let's hope it's not) Browning has only three expressions in her arsenal: scared, constipated, braindead. Can the fun cast make any kind of impression amongst the visual chaos/violent excess of Zach Snyder's sexual fantasies Baby Doll's imagination?

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Birthday Suits, That Girl Those Girls

1694 Voltaire, Enlightment philosopher, writer, progressive. Candide is his work that's most familiar to modern audiences having been filmed, adapted, and put on lists like this one as well as being adapted into a popular and oft-revived comic operetta. Kristin Chenoweth doing "Glitter and Be Gay" is theater heaven.
1912 Eleanor Powell, queen of tap. Broadway Rhythm it's got me Everybody...



1938 Marlo Thomas, That Girl. Yes, that one.
1941 Juliet Mills, Globe nominated film actress (Avanti!) best known for TV roles. She was a cougar before they had a word for it, marrying hunky Maxwell Caulfield when she was 39 and he was 21, before he'd even made Grease 2. They're still married, going on thirty years now. Today's generation might know her best as witchy Tabitha from her long campy run on daytime soap Passions.
1943 Brigitte Broch, favored production designer of both Baz Luhrmann (Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge!) and Alejandro González Iñárritu (Powder Keg, Babel, 21 Grams, Amores Perros). Oscar winner (Moulin Rouge!)
1944 Harold Ramis actor/writer/director/ghostbuster
1945 Goldie Hawn, giggler
1952 Lorna Luft daughter of high maintenance legend, half sister of high maintenance legend. 'my mother! my sister! my mother! my sister!' *slap*
1956 Cherry Jones theater giant, tv president, film cameoist (seriously... where are the bigger roles?) and right on awesome gay activist. Most famously, she's the original Sister Aloysius in Doubt. Check out how many big names she had to beat for her Tony statue below. Curiously both of her Tony Awards are for Oscar-loved film roles from two-time winners: Olivia de Havilland in The Heiress (1949) and Meryl Streep in Doubt (2008).



1965 Björk, genius
1984 Jena Malone actress, Jake Gyllenhaal makeout partner. Currently onscreen riding Ben Foster in her birthday suit in The Messenger.

The Messenger Messages

Tiny distributor Oscillope earned our goodwill less than a year ago by coaxing some theatrical life out of the largely unmarketable but worthy and delicate gem Wendy & Lucy. My how that film lingers. They've just released the poster for their latest release The Messenger. It's the directorial debut of Oren Moverman who previously crafted screenplays for must-see arthouse titles like Jesus Son and I'm Not There.

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What message are you getting from The Messenger's poster? I think it's striking. The backwards flag in the title -- nice design element there -- leads me to believe this isn't a happy or blindly patriotic war movie. Yep, it's about an Iraq war vet (Ben Foster) assigned to the Casualty Notification service. I don't like to know any more about plots than that before I see a movie. I hope this doesn't sound callous but I hope Samantha Morton suffers like Job. (Great actors crying is the best!) The movie begins platforming in early November... supposedly with an awards run in mind.

What do you think of the quartet of actors?

If you ask me it breaks down like this: Samantha Morton can do no wrong, Ben Foster can do plenty of wrong but he can't do it without being highly watchable and that's meant as a compliment. The other two provoke less intense reactions from me. Jena Malone used to be more famous than her less talented doppelganger Kristen Stewart but the movies giveth and the movies taketh away, don't they? At least she got to make out with Jake Gyllenhaal when it looked like she was going places. As for Woody Harrelson... who let him out again. Doesn't it seem like he's in everything all of a sudden? Does he have a new agent or have we teleported back to the mid 90s?