Let's Link Together, yeahyeahyeah, think of all that we could sha-are.

Tyler Coates shares my favorite personal anecdote post of this past week. Yay, Parent Trap.
Peel Slowly offers up several examples of movies recreating paintings. Neat stuff.

Material Girl Yes, it's true. Madonna's firstborn is now a (fashion) blogger. She loves all things 80s apparently like 4realz. Believe it or not I threw a first birthday party for Lourdes (aka Lola) in 1997 with my roomie at the time who was also a Madonna man. Our apartment was packed -- anything Madonna themed you know -- and we gave all the donations to a local children's hospital. So, see, one can use celebrity obsessive powers for good.
Movie|Line "9 dates that will shape the rest of 2010."
I Need My Fix Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are now married in case you hadn't heard or cared.
In Contention Tree of Life is Apparition's sole 2010 release now. "And who knows if we'll even see it in 2010," Nathaniel the cynic adds.


Anita Kunz She's one of my favorite illustrators and she drew 100 nude male celebrities for an artshow in Toronto. How funny. This is but a 3% sample. But if you're in Toronto, go see it. Report back.
Eye Scoop Excuse me, how had I not heard that Christophe Honore was doing another musical with Ludivine Sagnier and Louis Garrel (from Love Songs)! So excited. That film just grows on you.
Cinematical Peter Sarsgaard goes Bluegrass.

A Blog Next Door suggests you watch TiMER on Netflix Instant Watch and so do I. Anya!
A BlNYT Wonder Woman has a new look. I'm sure this will be applauded widely but I can't help but worry that it's one more step in completely genericizing all superheroes. Watch it turn into black form fitting armory leather for the movie which all superheroes seem to be wearing ever since they held a mass costume designing conference in 2000 and decreed that The Matrix and The X-Men were the new standards for f/x costuming.
The Awl a conversation about The Twilight Saga: Eclipse that has to be more entertaining than the movie.

Finally, Towleroad alerts us to a rare moment of levity in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Elena Kagan. The "Edward vs. Jacob case"



I don't even know what to say...

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P.S. If you've been following me on Twitter, you already know that I met Julianne Moore today. Yes, yes, I'll tell you all about it soon enough. I have to process first. [gulp] I reached out my hand to shake hers and... she hugged me!

Lindsay Lohan Laughs at Love

But mostly herself. Do you laugh with? at?

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

A sense of humor about oneself is crucial to survival. So thumbs up, Linds. But, damnit, stop looking at the teleprompter! Memorize your lines. You know how to do that. Remember when you were 12 and you could do that plus juggle accents, act with yourself convincingly never flubbing a sight line and risk comparison to Hayley Mills? Hayley freaking Mills! And that was your feature debut. [sigh]


This post has been brought to you by Nathaniel's recent unplanned cable screening of Parent Trap (1998) in which this 'redhead with a little bit of sass' was completely awesome, Dennis Quaid leaned with ease on his familiar megawatt charms and Natasha Richardson was unexpectedly funny. [sniffle]
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Tuesday Top Ten: Female Directors @ Box Office

updated to correct box office errors & bring up to date to Nov 30th

With Twilight, the high school vampire romance, opening to huge box office, various websites are talking about director Catherine Hardwicke's "achievement". For the most part I hate the notion that box office is an achievement (maybe it is but it's no meritocracy) or that it's directly attributable to any one person involved. This is how many movie stars end up with oversized paychecks that they're rarely able to live up to (result = backlash). It's how many directors of questionable talent continue to get major gigs (consider the careers of Brett Rattner, Chris Columbus, et al) because they're smart enough to attach themselves to can't miss franchises. What I'm saying is this: I could've directed Twilight and it would've still opened to $69 million. My version would've changed a few things:

• A better wig for Taylor Lautner.
• No clothed scenes whatsoever for Cam Gigandet.
• Less boring ass moping/whining from Kristen Stewart (who may never be able to live that hospital scene down. That was the best take!? Ouch)
  
• Extra scenes that aren't in the book so that something happens besides stare-downs. My cat might love this movie
  
• More shirtless scenes for Edward... but not in the sunlight because I hate that stupid skin twinkle effect.

Come to think of it, I hated all of the effects in the movie. Yeah, I definitely would've fired some people. I can't recall the last time a movie with special effects this cheesy opened huge. Was it Van Helsing? Generally speaking blockbusters have top notch special effects even if they're dramaturgically challenged.


I'm joking of course (somewhat?). Catherine Hardwicke undoubtedly made a better film than I could have but her skills have nothing whatsoever to do with the box office. And while I thought this vampire yarn shabbily directed I suppose she'll always have the stunning and appropriately histrionic 13 as a first and more deserving claim to fame.

Enough boring ass moping/whining Nathaniel. Get to the list!

Top Box Office Hits Directed by Women
I might have missed one but I think this is mostly accurate
note: I did not include co-directed animated movies in this list

runners up

16 $66 The Parent Trap (1998) Nancy Meyers

15 $71 Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) Sharon Maguire
14 $74 Prince of Tides (1991) Barbra Streisand
13 $95 Michael (1996) Nora Ephron
12 $107 A League of Their Own (1992) Penny Marshall
11 $114 Big (1988) Penny Marshall
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10 $115 You've Got Mail (1998) Nora Ephron

09 $119 Twilight (2008) Catherine Hardwicke
08 $121 Wayne's World (1992) Penelope Spheeris
07 $124 Something's Gotta Give (2003) Nancy Meyers
06 $126 Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Nora Ephron
-- $140 Look Who's Talking (1989) Amy Heckerling
04 $140 Deep Impact (1998) Mimi Leder
03 $143 Mamma Mia! (2008) Phyllida Lloyd

02 $144 Doctor Dolittle (1998) Betty Thomas
01 $182 What Women Want (2000) Nancy Meyers

And as a palate cleanser, some movies that are definitely worth investigating if you can find room on your netflix queue (I know I'm always giving assignments).

10 Interesting Female Directors

(Alphabetically and off the top of my head. My favorite from their filmographies listed)

Alison Anders (Gas Food Lodging)
Kathryn Bigelow (Near Dark)
Jane Campion (The Piano)
Sofia Coppola (Lost in Translation)
Claire Denis (Beau Travail)
Mary Harron (American Psycho)
Nicole Holofcener (Lovely & Amazing)
Mira Nair (Salaam Bombay!)
Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don't Cry)
Lynn Ramsey (Morvern Callar)

I forgot Susanne Bier (Brothers). My apologies! And of course you can't go wrong with Agnes Varda (but I was thinking more of features rather than docs which is what she's doing now). There are also many fine foreign directors whose work I'm less familiar with... other countries don't seem to have as hard of a time as the US employing female directors (the submission lists for Oscar's foreign films illustrates this point each and every year)

related article minus the women (um....): Oscar's Best Director Race predictions for 2008
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What's Your Poison, Lindsay Lohan?

With Lindsay Lohan partying again and Georgia Rule surfacing (the movie on which she was famously reprimanded for her unprofessional behavior, i.e. too much partying / not enough acting) I thought it was time to look at the liquid evidence in Lindsay's movies. Does she drink? Does she drive others to drink? Let's take a brief illustrated journey through the filmic evidence...

The Parent Trap
Nine whole years ago in Lindsay's very first movie, director Nancy Meyers underscores one of Linds' first scenes with "Bad to the Bone" --I'm not making this up. In the scene Lindsay plays a sneaky game of cards at summer camp and the music is used for comic effect...though maybe Ms. Meyers was trying to tell us something. Turns out back home in California, miss thing's dad owns a winery.


Uh oh... I regret to inform that cute young Linds spends that entire movie surrounded by alcohol! This can't be good. In the still above she downs her morning mimosa. No, I kid ...it's orange juice. I realize it's a terrible thing to joke about... but the movie DOES joke about it. Check out this scene below. Her mom has given her a glass of wine. She comically passes out after one sip, staggering back up to her feet asking to be excused

It's actually but a sneaky ploy to leave the dinner table. And thats all the drinking that she does in The Parent Trap aside from one water bottle at camp, a sip of that orange juice. (For solids: one single bite of toast in the whole film) The bulk of the drinking is from the adults around her.

Here Lindsay reacts to screen mom Natasha Richardson who has definitely had one too many.


I'm not saying Lindsay rehearsed this scene with Dina Lohan ... but I'm not saying she didn't either.

Freaky Friday
La Lohan's second film was also a surprisingly good remake of an earlier hit. In this movie she switches bodies with an award-worthy Jamie Lee Curtis as her mom. Lindsay has even less of an appetite in this one. The only solid she consumes in the whole movie is a fortune cookie (the magical one that makes mom & daughter switch bodies --don't you hate when that happens?)


...oh and a few french fries, too. But it's really Jamie Lee Curtis eating the french fries since they've already switched places. Otherwise Lohan is not hungry for this whole movie. In detention troublemaker Linds gives up her sandwich and powerade to the supervising teacher. For liquids, she stays hydrated only with water at the House of Chiang (that's all they serve apparently --even to toast with!) and Lindsay never looks particularly happy about it.

'I really don't understand why this restaurant serves only water and fortune cookies.
They're ruining my life!'

Other Films
I'm skipping Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen because life is short. But know this: She spends the entire film trying to meet her idol, a rocker named Stu from her favorite band. He turns out to be a crushing disappointment: a big lush! Lindsay helps him sober up in time for the happily ever after finale. Clearly it's a fantasy film.

I love A Prairie Home Companion but there's not much to her role there aside from writing bad poetry and singing nervously. I haven't seen Bobby. I know you wanted a grand finale where I dissect her partying habits in Herbie Fully Loaded but I think the title covers it, don't you? In Just My Luck --couldn't sit through that again, not that much of a masochist -- she does in fact throw a wild party that gets her into mucho trouble. Art imitating life?

We'll conclude with Lindsay's best film, and the one most responsible for the goodwill that she hangs to now by a precarious thread...

Mean Girls
I thought about investigating all 97 minutes of Lindsay's best film for clues to her real/reel behavior but this one's easy...



A (moving) picture is worth a thousand words.
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tags: Lindsay Lohan
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5 People That Could Save Lindsay Lohan From Herself

It's Lindsay Lohan Week

This is not a gossip blog but there is something about Lindsay Lohan that pulls me continually back into that particular realm of madness. I've been able to let go of infatuations for many celebrities who have disappointed. I've come to realize that the reason I can't let go of Lindsay is because the love comes from my deep film geekery rather than my shallow amusement with celebrity. The Parent Trap (the first one) was my favorite movie as a toddler and I cursed the remake everyday until I saw it... and lo and behold: There in La Lohan was a child actor as gifted as the young Hayley Mills, as enchanting as the young Natalie Wood, as seemingly smart as the young Jodie Foster. All was forgiven. As recently as Mean Girls it looked like she would become a charismatic movie star for the long haul. But then we lost her... to clubbing, thinspiration, cocaine binges, and the stupid girl phenomenon that's been plaguing pop culture for too many years now.

In a previous blog entry I tossed off a possibly insensitive note that Lindsay might be better off without the influence of her fame-obsessed mother Dina Lohan --she's but the latest face of the hydra monster known as the stage parent: From Mama Rose to Daddy Culkin this monster never dies... just gets new faces. So I apologize in advance: Here comes a whole post filled with insensitivity. I'm flippant about this because if I don't laugh, I'll cry.

Lindsay Lohan needs rescuing. But who should do it? Who can?

Could They Save Lindsay?

05 Jude Law
In last week's sordid tabloid epic Lindsay reportedly exited the coke frenzy proclaiming "I'll f*** Jude Law tomorrow". Hey Jude, f*** some sense into her while you're at it. If Lindsay must remain a complete fool maybe Jude could teach her how to balance the chaotic and messy personal life with a consistently Oscar worthy professional life. He obviously knows how.

04 Winona Ryder performing a one woman theatrical reenactment of Scared Straight
If Noni were a man we'd be hearing about her ups and downs (mostly downs) in the way the media faithfully tracked every single step in the Robert Downey Jr evolution from gifted young actor to drug mess to addict in recovery to convict to working still-gifted actor to insureable at last (hello Iron Man). But Winona Ryder is a woman and therefore, once the novelty of "bad girl" status had worn itself out, everyone looked politely away. Nowadays when we see the once queen of Young Hollywood we register surprise. Oh yeah, Winona. Remember her? I'm not suggesting that Winona is in a place where she could help others but surely she is an example to be studied by young starlets who think they'll be employable, respected and beloved forever. Who else in the last two decades has fallen as quickly and irrevocably away from the dizzying heights of A list status.

03 Jesus
I love Jesus as much as anyone but I can't really recommend this as the safest recovery option. Those he saves seem to instantly forget and even disdain his peaceful 'live and let live' messaging in favor of war mongering and bigotry. So... Lindsay if you find Jesus be careful! He's awesome but he is not a substitute for rehab. Whitney Houston was, by her own admission, using him instead of seeking treatment and there's lots of filmic evidence that that wasn't a smart move. I think with Jesus you have to supplement. What's that saying? 'The Lord helps those who help themselves.' Also Lindsay was clearly meant for bigger things than Lisa Whelchel and Kirk Cameron.

02 Drew Barrymore
If we've ever seen an example of a wildchild starlet overcoming a turbulent descent with screen mojo firmly intact, it's Drew Barrymore. She's clearly an exception to every rule. May Lindsay get her on speed dial pronto.

01 Lindsay Lohan
That's right. In the end the only person who can save you is yourself. Here's to Lindsay taking a good long look in the mirror, forgiving herself, cleaning up and getting back to work.
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20:07 (Twins)

New Series. Each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie (along with the line o' dialogue being spoken if there is one)


There is no dialogue in this capture from The Parent Trap (The Lindsay Lohan version) but it's a cross dissolve so you get a *gasp* DOUBLE IMAGE in a movie about twins! Will wonders never cease?

Editorial Note: In related news I must reiterate that I have never and will never cheat at this series. Sometimes I've been super disappointed that a perfect image cuts away at 20:05 and I don't get to use it. Boo Hoo. But there are weird glitches that occur that could account for nitpickers attempting to 'prove' that I have cheated. For example: When I went to get the screen capture for Annie Hall I loved the ambiguity of the image (plus there was a movie reference and a movie theater in the image) but I realized I had put the disc in on the wrong side so I flipped it over to widescreen and sailed back to 20:07 and --huh?-- same 'dating history' sequence but different date. A funnier moment but less ambiguous and movie drunk. I don't know how the movie could be shorter or longer in the pan & scan but there you go. Nevertheless, the 20:07 series is pure (pan & scan is already a corrupted version of a movie. it shouldn't count) these are shots from the 20th minute and 7th second of each movie according to the only DVD player I'm using.

Let's Get Together, Yeah Yeah Yeah.

The Parent Trap was my favorite movie as a child. Hayley Mills was a perfect childhood idol. So this recut/subverted trailer for the 1961 family classic makes me laugh and completely horrifies me. It's so wrong. [src: pop on the rocks]