Mamma Mia! Do Dump or Marry!

JA here. Over at MNPP I've got a series called "Do, Dump or Marry." It's a familiar game that sometimes goes under alternate titles (for example, the charming variation "F@ck, Kill or Marry"); basically, you choose three people, usually in my experience celebrities, that everyone else must then decide which of the three they would Do (as in spend one single night of sexy-times with), which they would Dump (as in kick to the curb), and which they would Marry (as in bind one's self and one's belongings into a legal contract of conjugal bliss with for the rest of your living life).

It occured to me this morning that Mamma Mia! is basically Meryl Streep's cinematic sing-songy version of this game. Oh I haven't seen the film yet, nor have I seen the musical the movie's based on, and from what I gather vis-à-vis the trailer Meryl's already had the sex with all three suitors... so it's kind of a whack-a-mole romp of paternity-test wackiness in which Amanda Seyfried is the hammer and the mole is one of these fellas sperm. Or something. Am I getting my analogies crossed?

Point being, I'm assuming Meryl's got to choose which of these men she wants to bone indefinitely. Just like Do, Dump, or Marry! So let's all pretend we're Meryl Streep - this certainly wouldn't be the first time I'll have pretended that - and we have to choose the same thing. Fun times were had by all. Instead of our choices being whatever characters these guys are playing though, we're choosing which actor we'd Do, we'd Dump, and we'd Marry. Our choices then drumroll please:


Pierce Brosnan - Yeah, he was James Bond. More importantly? He was Remington effing Steele! Though to be honest, the image that always immediately pops into my head when Pierce's name comes up is him being beaned in the head with a lemon by a be-dragged Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire. My mother LOVED that movie and I saw it like once a week as a teenager due to her obsession.


Colin Firth - Yeah, he was Mr. Darcy. He walked out of a pond and crap. That appears to drive people bonkers. I haven't seen it. I have seen him slap-fight with Hugh Grant though! That was cute.

Stellan Skarsgård - Yeah, he was... um... in a lot of worth-your-time movies! Arty, difficult films that come from dark, Norwegian places. Also, Deep Blue Sea. Where he was used as an underwater projectile by one of the super-smart sharks to smash through a window.


Man I love that movie. Shark-snark aside, Skarsgård's a terrific actor. (Even if he does do silly leg lifts on posters...)

Okay, we have our choices. Brosnan. Firth. Skarsgård. Go forth, comment-ward, tally ho and whatnot; choose. If you need me, I'll be dumping them all and taking a dip with Dominic Cooper...

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