Top Ten: Antonio Banderas

Happy 50th birthday to Everyone's Favorite Spaniard™* Antonio Banderas.

He was already celebrating the big day yesterday in the port of Marbella with Melanie Griffith, the Mrs. Banderas. okay okay it was her birthday yesterday but we're not really fans [cough to put it mildly]. What is it with celebrities born a day apart getting married? Madonna & Sean did that, too!

Antonio has been fading from the limelight this past decade which is kind of a shame because he would have made a much better "Guido Contini" than Daniel Day-Lewis in Nine (2009) so why didn't he get the chance to help make it work onscreen (and make no mistake, he would have helped. You need a certain type in that role. DDL is many great things but is a charming cad really one of them?) But if you've been missing him, fear not. A mini-'Tonio revival is coming with the Broadway revival of Zorba the Greek on its way and (finally!) a reunion with the man who brought him to international fame, director Pedro Almodóvar for the movie called La Piel que Habito (The Skin I Live In) which supposedly begins shooting this month.

The Film Experience had planned a rather huge 50th celebration today in Antonio's honor, and figured to sneak in a little contemporary Angelina Jolie love via a trip back to their erotic romp Original Sin (2001) and maybe a collection of favorite photos and that sort of thing. Truth: I've never seen that erotic thriller. And why the hell not given that both of those movie stars know a thing or five-hundred about working their sexual mojo for the benefit of the camera. But plans... they do get away from you.

But since it's Tuesday, and I've been neglecting the top tens...

Ten Favorite Banderas Roles

10 "Miguel" in Philadelphia (1993)
I don't really care for the movie, Jonathan Demme's bizarrely toothless and middlebrow follow up to the stellar Silence of the Lambs, but what a boyfriend Banderas made. The movie's authenticity was always in question because it was readily apparent that Tom Hanks's lawyer had no desire to ever touch his Spanish hunk. Imagine having Miguel to yourself and never manhandling him? That's just... Well, it's actually against the law.

09 TBA: I'm reserving this spot for a second viewing of Matador, the only Almodóvar I've actively disliked. Maybe I missed something? And I've never seen Spy Kids. It's true. Is he fun in that?

08 "Zorro" in The Mask of Zorro (1998)
It's as if Banderas' ascendance forced Hollywood to remake it. He existed therefore the movie had to.

07 "Guido Contini" in Nine (Broadway revival)
I've written about Nine too much. I have not another word in me. From now on, I shall only hum the theme song.

06 "Puss in Boots" Shrek 2 (2004)
He's the one redeeming factor of this soulless behemoth franchise. Just hilarious and relentlessly charming. Oh, those eyes!!! Who can resist? I'm talking about the Puss but I totally get it if you were thinking about Tonio's brown orbs.

05 "El Mariarchi" in Desperado (1995)
<--- Cool guys don't look at explosions.

04 "Antonio Benítez" in Law of Desire (1987)
Benítez was a dangerously unstable, often naked, highly annoying young man but Antonio played him superbly. More importantly, this film was an early but substantial example of the difference between rising European actors and rising American fame-seekers. In the former case they generally understand that it's about serving the auteur, the character and the movie, not about working on your "image."

---> The truth telling image to your right is pilfered from this all time classic blogpost from Adam, a friend of The Film Experience.

Law of Desire is actually my favorite Almodóvar movie for personal nostalgia reasons. It's the second one I saw -- after the film that actually followed it Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown -- but the first I sought out because of the man behind the curtain. I was not disappointed.

03 "Ché" in Evita (1996)
02 "Antonio Banderas" in Madonna: Truth or Dare (1991)
Because this double feature captures the memorable Madonna thru-line of his international stardom so superbly. They made such a beautiful imaginary couple. At least Madonna thought so.

"I've been wanting to meet Antonio for years. I finally get to meet him and he's married. That's one of life's little fuck-overs."
____-Madonna aloud while sitting next to Antonio.

"I said 'Oh, this is such a disaster. He's married.' He goes 'Oh, in Spain it doesn't matter.' ...Is that man beautiful or what? There's got to be something wrong with him. He probably has a really small penis or something. Oh God. There has to be something wrong with him because nobody is that perfect."
____-Madonna to Nikki in the bathroom of Almodóvar's party

01 "Ricky" in Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (1990)
Almodóvar movies are often blessed with sexual heat (Last year's Broken Embraces is a recent example of the director's gift in this arena)... but there's virtually nothing in the Almodóvar collection that's hornier or hotter than Banderas and his prisoner, the sadly undervalued Victoria Abril, attempting to climax simultaneously in this NC-17 rated stockholm syndrome romance. Even better is the shockingly moving fully clothed moment later in the movie when... no, I shan't spoil the movie. See it.

This post is free. The price you pray for reading is a word or four about Antonio in the comments. Go!

*circa 1990s. Later Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz would war over the designation. They finally called it a draw and married.

Could Have Beens: Josh Hutcherson Parker / Toni Roxie Collette

Josh Hutcherson's Spider-Man screen test went up at Latino Review. Though I'm sure they'll be pulled soon it's fun to watch. It's actually interesting to see how much effort went into these screen tests. Wouldn't it be great to see all of them back to back? We're talking wire stunts, editing, scene recreations from the original Spider-Man. Everything. Plus, it's not one of those audition tapes that makes the actor look bad. Hutcherson looks like he'd be an excellent Peter Parker. All the press he got for even being in the running will surely do him good. Well, that and holding his own in the stellar The Kids Are All Right cast this summer. I see a SAG nomination come January 2011 (ensemble).

Here's the video and a few screen caps in case it disappears.




The online wailing about Andrew Garfield is a clear case of fear of the unknown. He's as solid a choice as any and probably moreso given that they went with him without any bankability whatsoever and him being older than they'd planned on going. In other words: they know something we don't, having seen his screen test.

But "could have beens" are fun, too. Every once in a blue moon I try to imagine Basic Instinct with any of the women who were considered or rejected it before Sharon Stone got it... and there were so many. I always wonder if Holly Hunter would have won a second Oscar for As Good As It Gets had she not priced herself out of the movie. Or I try to picture Rachel McAdams as Invisible Girl in Fantastic Four. Easy! Or Brad Pitt attempting an English accent for About a Boy. How weird would that have been? (That's why Not Starring is such a fun site to visit randomly.)

This topic also makes me think of Evita (1996) and how it might have been Streep or Pfeiffer (who recorded a demo) instead of Madonna in another iteration.

My saddest could-have-beens will probably remain Michelle Pfeiffer as Clarice Starling (Fact: turned it down) -- not because Jodie wasn't superb but because, well, Oscar! -- or Toni Collette as Roxie Hart in Chicago (Rumor: deemed not bankable enough despite being first choice). Both would surely have been excellent.



But maybe the Toni Collette as Roxie thing haunts me only because I l-o-v-e-d her in The Wild Party on Broadway so much. And because I wanted her to play Liza Minnelli for so long in a biopic. I'm dying to see Toni in another musical. Will it ever happen again?

Come Join the Party!

Hello, Jose here to remind you all that it's Madonna's birthday!

The Queen of pop/ businesswoman/ kabbalist/ mother/ 90's tabloid fodder/ safe sex advocate/ sex advocate/ entrepeneur/ icon is celebrating her 51st birthday today (and with those arms!). But along with everything she's done, many people forget (on purpose mostly...) that she's also an actress/director. The notorious perfectionist has never been able to master the cinematic arts, even if she tries and tries and tries. But since it's her birthday we should acknowledge that not all she's done for the silver screen is bad and since we can't take a holiday to get into the groove with her, here's...

51 Reasons to Celebrate Madonna... in the Movies!

51. Daring to take on a role created by Katharine Hepburn...sort of in Who's That Girl.
50. Her endorsement of Michael Moore.
49. Setting a whole new clothing trend with Desperately Seeking Susan.
48. Her deep love for classic films.
47. Looking cute despite reviews in Shanghai Surprise.
46. She didn't get to play Ginger McKenna in Casino, but we know how that turned out for Sharon Stone.

Madonna & Sean early on... Their birthdays are just one day apart

45. Rupert Everett.
44. She didn't get to play Roberta Guaspari in Music of the Heart, but we know how that turned out for Meryl Streep.
43. The cute anecdote about endorsing Sean Penn's first gay kiss in Milk.
42. The "Vogue" sequence in The Devil Wears Prada.
41. Her delicious line delivery in Dick Tracy.

40. Warren Beatty's cameo in Truth or Dare.
39. She didn't get to play Catwoman in Batman Returns, but we know how that turned out for Michelle Pfeiffer.
38. Dreams of the Chicago that never got made with her as Velma Kelly.
37. She didn't get to play Susie Diamond in The Fabulous Baker Boys, but we know how that turned out for Michelle Pfeiffer (hmmm am I smelling a thing in the weird fact that the performances she doesn't get end up with Oscar nods...)
36. She didn't get to play Frida Kahlo in Frida, but we know how that turned out for Salma Hayek. She even thanked Madonna, because without her the movie would have never been made.

35. Francis Ford Coppola is a fan of Madge!
34. "Into the Groove" from Desperately Seeking Susan!
33. Her concerts involve video art that make any artsy film flicker in comparison...
32. "Who's That Girl"...the song.
31. That performance of "Sooner or Later" at the Oscars.

30. She didn't get to play Bess McNeill in Breaking the Waves, but we know how that turned out for Emily Watson. It's rumored that Lars von Trier wanted her badly to play this part!
29. "I'll Remember" from With Honors.
28. "This Used to Be My Playground" from A League of Their Own.
27. The Fabier Baron footage from "Erotica" which became an underground documentary of sorts.
26. Introducing us to Adriano Giannini, and his abs, in Swept Away.

25. For being so moving in "I'm Going to Tell You a Secret".
24. Without "Like a Virgin" we'd never have that hilarious prison sequence in the Bridget Jones' sequel.
23....or Jim Broadbent's divine interpretation in Moulin Rouge!.
22. Her homage to Marilyn in "Material Girl".
21. "Crazy For You" from Vision Quest.

20. Making fencing look sexy in Die Another Day.
19. ...and trying to give her cameo some depth by making her a lesbian.
18. Her care for the world as shown in "I Am Because We Are".
17. "Beautiful Stranger" from Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me
16. "Die Another Day" from Die Another Day (does this make her the only artist who's made songs for James Bond and a Bond spoof?)

15. Her decadent Guinness world record from Evita -- most costume changes in a movie -- which had been held before by Liz Taylor in Cleopatra.
14. The original "American Life" video which is more political than anything being done in movies today.
13. She's Gwyneth Paltrow's best friend.
12. Her directorial debut Filth and Wisdom isn't as bad as they say, it has some Richard Lester vibe to it.
11. Playing Madonna in Truth or Dare. Call her what you will but she's a movie star in this one!

10. Reminding us how refreshing the HFPA's choices can be sometimes by winning Best Actress over eventual Oscar winner Frances McDormand in 1996.
9. Both her husbands have been in the movies and are great at their craft...the first one more than the latter, but still...
8. Bringing sexy back to German Expressionism in the "Express Yourself" video.
7. Bringing the musical back, sorta...with Evita and proving she can be a good, award worthy actress when needed.
6. Showing us that documentaries can make profits.
Truth or Dare was huge in its day.

5. Her groundbreaking work with top notch movie directors in her videos.
4. Christopher Walken in the "Bad Girl" video paved the way for his brilliant work in "Weapon of Choice" years later.
3. Her homage to Joan Crawford in "The Power of Goodbye" video.
2. The Luc Besson musical she never got to make inspired "Hung Up" (her greatest single this decade).

1. The video for "Vogue".
It's arguably the greatest music video of all time and its love of cinema is just so evident, it probably encouraged a million people to seek the work of the people she mentions in the interlude. And that is spectacular in every single way!


*

The Mad(onna) Hatter

A friend of mine kept saying that the new photos of Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter reminded him of none other than Madonna. So, he followed up with morphthinged evidence to prove his theory...


Hmmm, musta been that endearing gap tooth that tipped him off. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland Madonna in Wonderland coming to theaters... never.

Come to think of it... maybe this was Madonna's problem with the acting side career in the the late 80s and early 90s. She needed to be doing small bits in weirdo movies like Alice... She kept trying to play characters that any actress might essay when an outsized offscreen celebrity persona actually requires a larger-than-life / fantastical character to contain it -- in the absence of a true acting gift, that is, which only rare pop stars (Cher and, hmmm, Sting? Dolly?) turn out to have. The roles that fit best were thinly-veiled-Madonna (Desperately Seeking Susan, Star), Madonna (Truth or Dare... and yes, I consider that a performance and her best one), Breathless Mahoney in Dick Tracy (cartoon) and Evita (larger than life!)