"Crazy" May Flowers

May Flowers, evenings at 11... or thereabouts

I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy
You turn it on - then you're gone
Yeah you drive me crazy, crazy

Remember when Liv Tyler wasn't yet "Arwen" and Alicia Silverstone wasn't yet "Cher"?



Yeah, me neither. (That was so many career phases ago. Crazy, indeed)

[This 1995 flashback has been brought to you by three vodka tonics and visiting friends from Michigan. gulp]

The Pitiable Hulk

This post is brought to you by Nathaniel's jumbled chronologies. He refuses to adhere to the insanely disposable whims of mainstream movie culture. It's an unwritten rule but look around: you're really supposed to only talk about the movies that come out that week (i.e. Hancock) or next month and year instead of whatever comes to your mind (The Incredible Hulk).

I've become weirdly impatient waiting for The Incredible Hulk's box office to catch up with the far more polarizing Hulk's box office. Maybe it'll happen today? tomorrow? It didn't happen yesterday (day 18 results pictured left) but it's almost there. It's like I've started feeling sorry for the united front (studio / media / fanboys) who huffed and puffed in unison trying to boost it up whilst tearing Ang Lee's drama down yet again. It's not that I am a huge champion of the earlier thinkier (feelier?) film or a huge opponent of this one, but I've found the whole thing blandly hypnotic... like something you forget you're paying attention to but you are, despite yourself (like wondering when ER will ever be cancelled even though nobody ever talks about it anymore. Will it run as long as Gunsmoke?)

Things I liked about this version...

• Liv Tyler's impossibly breathy voice -- seriously is something wrong with her larynx? Yet I love it. Maybe I'm still holding the torch for Arwen?
  
• Watching Ed Norton's physique fluctuate from scene to scene --not in the CGI gamma ray way but in the "hey, didn't he have bigger muscles in the last scene?!?" kind of filmed out-of-sequence way.
  
• The almost subliminal way the thunderous sound mix worked in the green giant's dialogue (at least the first "leave me alone" time)
• Watching Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) run super fast past his fellow soldiers. I love no trick visuals that sometimes feel more special than f/x that you know cost millions. There's something awesomely David & Goliath about that.

Things I didn't like

• William Hurt. He was probably my favorite actor when I was falling in love with the movies in the mid 80s but he's so inconsistent.
• Hoping "Mr. Blue" was going to turn out to be Hank McCoy (aka 'The Beast' --hey, it was a decent assumption given that Marvel Studios wants to make their movie universe cohesive) and then seeing Tim Blake Nelson instead. It's the only time I've ever wished to see Kelsey Grammar in my life, god help me!
  
• That it was actually a sequel (no shame in that) pretending it was a reboot (false advertising is so annoying)
• That it was so easy to shake off after I left the theater. Hulk as a character borrows a lot from classic Internal Drama Queen concepts like Beauty & The Beast, King Kong, Dr. Jekyll & Mr Hyde etcetera, but he never has similar staying power. He doesn't haunt and Bruce Banner's dilemma really should.
  

I now return you to the right here and now, July 2nd 2008. Definitely 2005 LA & 1930 Germany next. Maybe summer 1955? Hollywood 1980s. Jamaica in 1962. France in 2000. I can never decided when or where we are. Throw out your calendars!

Hulk, Incredible ?

True story: I was drunk when I saw Ang Lee's Hulk ...which might explain why I liked it. Apparently, you weren't supposed to.

I am very seldom inebriated at the movies! It was a fluke, really. There was this jumbo frozen margarita and then another one and before I knew it I was in the Empire 25, hugging some startled friends who happened to show at the same movie but probably weren't expecting wobbly manhugs at the opening night of a superhero blockbuster. And then I was gobbling popcorn like I had not just eaten way too much Mexican food at El Azteca while I waited for Bruce Banner to get really angry. The next thing I remember was thinking 'why isn't he getting angry?' Then I think there were some mutant dogs and some CGI nudity that was just as prudish as actual flesh nudity in the movies. I do remember that. And then the Hulk started hopping around in the desert and I was 10 years-old again reading comic books.

And thus concludes my tequila soaked memories of that evening!

I recognized even at the time that Hulk had some problems -- like way too much time dilly-dallying before the action and the casting of Jennifer Connelly as the weepy girlfriend (seriously. does any actress need to branch out more?) --but I basically enjoyed it. So now they're trying a reboot with The Incredible Hulk. Here's the new trailer.



It doesn't do anything for me. I might be the only one thinking: Do Ed Norton and Liv Tyler really want to be the poor man's Eric Bana and Jennifer Connelly? I mean look at Julianne Moore trying to be Clarice Starling after Jodie! It's not always wise to take over a role that someone else originated. Not that you couldn't improve on Bana & Connelly in that movie, mind you. Clarice Starling was perhaps a bad analogy. It's more like Christian Bale taking over for George Clooney. Or maybe even George Clooney taking over from Val Kilmer. We'll see.

Maybe it doesn't matter who plays it. In Batman movies, the pointy cowl hides the man in the suit real well and CGI disposes of the actor altogether in Hulk. It's a paycheck for Mr. Norton either way.

more at twiigs.com...

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Tuesday Top Ten: Women of Summer

I pretty much ignored the 'Lusty Month of May' and now it's June (My brain is on fast forward. Excuse) I'm already sweating from the humidity and abusing my air conditioner so I know that summer is here. Last week I celebrated the men so now it's time for the ladies who'll be raising the screen temperature from June thru August. Before we begin, this disclaimer: I know you're supposed to have Jessica Alba on lists like this. She'll be around again, all wooden and unfortunately invisible in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. But until she removes that awful Sue Storm wig, until she tries to act with her face... I aint goin' there. Gripe all you like in the comments if you're an Albaniac.

Top Ten Women ~ Summer Movie Season 2007

La Pfeiffer - Stardust and Hairspray
She's eternally #1 but she's also a perfect 10 at any age. So this is more of an honorary nod. You know I'm f***ing celebrating when these movies finally arrive. Until then I'll shut up.

10 Joan Allen -The Bourne Supremacy
What? I have a thing for icy older blondes. Shut up. Pamela Landy will cut you.

09 Anna Faris -Smiley Face
Because she's willing to make a fool of herself for our amusement. This comedy is too stoned for a solid release date. Who knows...

08 Katherine Heigl - Knocked Up
As much as I hate Grey's Anatomy as a whole, the individual actors don't bother me so much. Heigl's "Izzy" makes me dizzy -enough with the tears and the George cockteasing, please! Yet as an actress she obviously has talent. I'm excited to see this pregnancy comedy (mostly on account of the creative team behind it). Plus, she's one of those rare generically gorgeous blondes that isn't boring to look at. Yay.

07 Demi Moore -Mr Brooks
Demi is my favorite movie star who can't act. I know it's wrong to love her but my cold jaded heart gets smooshy and warm when she's around. I blame this on the potent successive combo of St. Elmo's Fire + Bruce Willis x Vanity Fair³.


06 Claire Danes -Evening and Stardust
I've loved Danes ever since I first laid eyes on Angela Chase in my so called life. I'm not sure that she can do "sexy" per se... but don't you wish she'd try? I wonder if she'll reveal new charms in either of these pictures. For now the wondering is enough. Deliver, Claire, deliver. It's time.

05 Liv Tyler -The Strangers
I can't say that I'm looking forward to seeing Liv and Scott Speedman (the screen husband) terrorized in this thriller but at least they'll make a beautiful couple. When I heard she had a new movie coming out I realized those three years in gelled closeups as Arwen had earned her a tiny enduring place in my heart.

04 Ellen Barkin -Oceans 13
I'm hoping that she'll have enough to work with in this cool caper comedy that younger audiences will discover her weirdly compelling beauty and talent for themselves. Plus, in real life she's Julianne Moore's best friend. So: points for that.

03 Lindsay Lohan -I Know Who Killed Me
I've been trying to ween myself away from this wildchild. It's starting to work. I'm just so tired of the idiocy of this girl. All that talent going to waste. Still: if she has to alienate me and everyone who responded to her early promise, at least she'll go down in the kind of flames that prompt much posthumous writing: she's doing some sort of weird meta commentary on her own life with the movie roles... chucking talent aside for shallow pursuits (Mean Girls) , death wish (Prairie Home Companion), wild and vulgar (Georgia Rule), and now she's playing a stripper. Oh Lindsay... didn't you see what Striptease did to Demi? I know you were only 10 at the time but can't you do your movie homework?

02 Maggie Q -Live Free or Die Hard
Back when I was doing last year's film bitch awards and talking about performances that caught my eye that weren't at all foregrounded by their films, I noticed Maggie Q love in the comments for her cool M:i3 turn. This summer she's back in action with Bruce Willis. May she turn heads again.


01 Anne Hathaway -Becoming Jane
If Hollywood held a pretty party, I'm pretty sure she'd be the prettiest pretty princess, the fairest of them all. That's all.
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