Game Time: The Eyes Have It

Golly jeepers... who owns these peepers?


All the images have now been guessed in the comments. It took less than an hour. You know your actresses! (Highlight the text below if you want to see the correct answers) Or make the guesses and then check the answers. How many could you name?

A Renee Zellweger -correctly guessed by Mikadzuki
B Jane Fonda -correctly guessed by Mikadzuki
C Scarlett Johansson -correctly guessed by Mikadzuki
D Catherine Zeta-Jones -correctly guessed by anonymous
E Maggie Gyllenhaal -correctly guessed by anonymous
F Penelope Cruz -correctly guessed by BBats
G Emma Watson -correctly guessed by Artemis
H Audrey Hepburn -correctly guessed by Mikadzuki
I Rachel McAdams -correctly guessed by anonymous
J Emma Thompson -correctly guessed by wgcarey
K Christina Ricci -correctly guessed by The Jack
L Natalie Portman -correctly guessed by Mikadzuki

When it Rains It Pours

I don't wanna whine but a few readers have asked what was wrong. Between a mouse invasion (again), that scary business trip, and very close friend going through a sudden break-up, it's been a chaotic and stressful week. Add to that a surprise gas leak in my apartment all of which resulted in exterminators, supers, and construction types in and out all day for the past three days ~dust, debris, hammering, plastering, frightened cat (who enjoyed the mouse part more than I. Alas...).

I will probably be the last person on the planet to see Indiana Jones 4.* If this last bit sounds like a complaint, it isn't. Not seeing Indiana Jones is easier to live with than mice and gas leaks. Carry on, repairmen. Do your thing!

* I can always enjoy the Indiana Jones blog-a-thon from home instead
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Me and You and Everyone We Link

Billy Loves Stu remakes some classics. Funny stuff
<--- Big Screen Little Screen feeds us info on the new Miranda July project Satisfaction. I can't wait... ))<>((
Too Many Projects hosting a Production Design blog-a-thon. Right at this very moment. Get decoratin'
Club Silencio "...just put a cigarette out on Juno"
/Film video clips from Synechdoche, New York
Film Brain "Brains Not Required (or: Whither Subtlety)"
FOG has photos of the Met's Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy exhibit
Bubblegum Aesthetics has a huge researched piece on the various Iron Man / Tony Stark histories from the comic books

Row Three first image of Viggo from The Road [thx]
A Socialite's Life Madonna @ Cannes. I love these photos because once Sharon Stone & Madonna were vaguely pop culture enemies. So maybe now they're frenemies?
Boy Culture boogies for Ellen DeGeneres & Portia deRossi upcoming wedding
Planet Fabulon remember her name... (hee)
Gallery of the Absurd "14" and her friend Jeff Polage have been cracking me up all month
Crazy Days and Nights why Whoopi is good at her job on The View
Self Styled Siren has a tribute to Jimmy Stewart for his centennial
Dear Jesus reexamines the Oscar winning The Tin Drum ... with a big bowl of spaghetti

And finally... a sentence I wish I'd written. It's from K Silem Mohammed's Lost in the Frame on Black Snake Moan

Still, in a contest between the film itself and its poster, the film doesn't stand a chance.

Damn those graphic designers!

Hump Day Hottie, Shia LaBeouf

Help! The blog has moved into popcorn season. Mmmm, popcorn.

It's that time of year I guess ... desperate for the warmth, sun, and waves of summer. Must be strong. Still another week or two until I hit Florida.

<-------- Shia LaBeouf, friend to big robots,

imaginary boyfriend to millions of young moviegoers

A few weeks back as I was perusing the internets I found this hilarious but pretty well done fake of Shia all LaBuffed... along with a raging debate about whether or not the photo was a fake. It is. Even if the rising star has been ingesting plenty of spinach and now all muscully for Indiana Jones and the Noun of the Adjective Noun --you know you want to play MadLibs with Indiana titles -- he probably wouldn't be taking pictures of himself that included barely concealed erections, you know? Only drunk starlets flash their privates with too-famous / too-fast abandon. Not that Shia isn't reckless. Behold: his mug shot from last year.

I hate that even whilst being arrested he looks lit by a celebrity photographer. Isn't that a whole light box reflecting in his eyes. I also hate that you always see pictures of him eating. But he stays totally thin.


I'm telling you. I eat one thing and.... ugh, I hate him. But I love him too. I think he's a talented actor --he almost made me care about big robots-- and talent is always hot. As for Shia's own taste level...

Funny, I always figured him for an Obama man myself. Or maybe this handwritten scrawl is in support of Swank's double Oscars in which case: BOOOOOO Shia. Please don't join the Academy!

If you still need more Shia, there's always the new GQ interview and spread. And yes, I meant to post all this last Wednesday. Sue me. Anyway, Indiana Jones and the ___noun___ of the __adjective__-- ___noun___ opens in just few hours.

Select your MadLibs in the comments. Or just drool on Shia. Your choice.

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Ghost Writers in the Brine

It’s too bad you can’t shove a new theatrical release into your beach bag, as if it were a well-worn paperback. If you’re in the mood for such a read, the twisty new French thriller Roman de Gare would look great next to your bottle of sunscreen and towels. From your sandy spot, you could imagine yourself on the well-appointed yacht where the climax takes place. Your beachfront could become Cannes with just a little shove of your imagination. In a delightful though probably accidental coincidence, Roman de Gare, is playing in theaters just as the Cannes Film Festival is in full swing.

Claude Lelouch, the 70 year-old writer/director behind the new film is a Cannes regular. It’s been a long time since his heyday when he won the Palme D’Or, Golden Globe and Oscar (all for A Man and a Woman, 1966), but he’s still got surprises up his sleeve. In fact, or purposeful fiction to be more precise, when Roman de Gare first screened for Cannes consideration last year, his name wasn’t on it. He was working under a pseudonym… an impish if artistically driven choice: he wanted people to judge the film as a film rather than as “a Lelouch”.

I share the amusing anecdote because it’s an appropriate bit of mischief for a film that is, to some extent, about the mysteries of authorship...

Read the Full Review @ Pajiba
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Angelina Jolie: Pregnant with Oscar Hopes

The Cannes Film Festival is fueling Oscar buzz. Awards Daily says raves are pouring in for Angelina Jolie and Clint Eastwood's Changeling which is based on a true story about a woman whose child was abducted in the 1920s and the government corruption she met in her despair. Apparently it might have a new title, The Exchange... I prefer the former. It's eerier --definitely has more flavor. Anyone surprised by the Oscar style hosanna! reviews needs their heads checked: Eastwood doesn't get bad reviews. Even when he maybe deserves them (see: Flags of Our Fathers). If this is as good as people are saying, it'll be thrilling to watch and possibly even a Best Picture contender. GreenCine is more cautionary about the nature of the reactions in their roundup. update and IFC does not like it.

One interesting note about the reviews is the notion that the second half of the film is very ensemble driven. This could be great news for any number of character actors in the film (Jason Butler Harner, Colm Feore, Amy Ryan, John Malkovich, etcetera) since Eastwood is known to guide his cast to golden trophies of one sort or another. He's currently tied for 4th place in the record books for directors whose films have won the most acting Oscars.

No public comment yet from Julianne Moore about Angie working her corner --mom with missing/possibly dead/imaginary/mysterious child. She must be livid. I kid, I kid. But in all seriousness: This year's Best Actress race is going to be gargantuan. I can feel it. Two former winners (Jolie & Streep) with juicy roles. Three overdue A listers (Pfeiffer, Moore & Winslet) with juicy roles. And abundant others with less buzz and less Oscar history thus far... My Oscar predictions will be updated on June 1st.

A Socialite's Life also covers the Changeling/The Exchange premiere... but to my disappointment The Fug Girls have not yet weighed in on Angie's retro earth mother muumuu.
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May Flowers

Good Morning

Have a wonderful day. 

Arguably the Greatest Close-Up in the History of The Cinema

"My mama loved me."
-Paul Newman as Hud (1963)

Top Ten x Three (Box Office)

It's hard to avoid the continual reportage of which movies are opening huge or flopping. Box office is more important to moviegoers than ever. One assumes at some point this fascination will turn back to the actual content of the movies but until the happy day when the pendulum swings, here are three top 10 2008 lists which are all box office derived -- if not the kind you are usually subjected to.

Top Ten Foreign Language Releases

01 Under the Same Moon (Mexico) $12.3
Almost 3 times more successful than its nearest rival. We can attribute this 1) the large Spanish language speaking population in the US. 2) For whatever reason, arthouse auds love foreign movies about little kids on journeys. 3) Touching but not gag inducing [my review]
02 The Counterfeiters (Austria) $4.8
The Foreign Oscar winner. This sizeable gross is why distributors wait until after Oscar noms are announced to release their damn movies. Unfortunately that causes two major problems: a glut of quality foreign language pictures for one month. And worse: movies that don't get nominated sometimes get shelved.
03 Jodhaa Akbar (India) $3.4
Bollywood movies --this one featuring superstar Hrithik Roshan --are the only kind of foreign offerings in the States that need absolutely no media attention to win big numbers.
04 The Band's Visit (Israel) $2.9
05 Priceless (France) $1.4
Audrey Tatou apparently has a loyal following in the States since Amélie. Her movies always see release and usually do decent business.
06 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (Romania) $1.1
Release date woes. I remain convinced that if this movie had opened when it originally planned to (November 2007), the Oscars would have been guilted into paying it more mind because the critical outpouring would have been even bigger. And the gross would have been higher, too, with year end top ten lists and awards pre-season providing it free advertising. It's on DVD now. Why haven't you seen it yet? [#4 on TFE's 2007 top ten list]
07 U Me Aur Hum (India) $1.0
08 Caramel (Lebanon) $1.0
09 The Year My Parent's Went on Vacation (Brazil) $.6
These last two were also failed Oscar submissions. 60+ films submit each year. They all can't be nominated.
10 Roman de Gare (France) $.4
Claude LeLouch's new thriller starring Fanny Ardant. (my review)

Top Ten Biggest Budgets
Because this makes the usually reported top ten of the year
less gargantuan looking in their imagined profits.

01 Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian -Budget $200.
Is that really all onscreen? It opened well below the first installment's bow. Will the worldwide box office also be slipping? And if so what happens to the other three movies.
02 Iron Man Budget: $140.
The year's #1 film, earning $223 thus far and still flying. How sturdy are those jet pack legs? Are we talking Spider-Man franchise grosses of the mid to high $300s? (prev post)

03 Speed Racer Budget: $120.
The gross so far is $30 million. Oops. (my review)
04 10,000 BC Budget: $105
If it costs so much to make why does it look so invariably cheap and tacky? One of the dumbest movies ever made is #3 of the year thus far.
05 The SpiderWick Chronicles Budget: $90
It earned $71 at the box office, the 9th biggest grosser that 2008 has seen so far... but low for a franchise hopeful
06 Dr. Seuss Horton Hears a Who Budget: $85
Second only to Iron Man at the 08 box office sweepstakes with $151 in grosses stateside.
07 Jumper Budget: $85
Gross: $79. Franchise hopes will depend on how large the worldwide cume is but if there's a sequel, it seems probable that it'll be a cheaper rehash of same. Maybe fewer name actors. Although what does that even mean when jumper #1 Hayden Christensen is about 100 x more famous than jumper #2 Jamie Bell who is 100x more talented. It's bizarro world at the movies.
08 Fool's Gold Budget: $70
Damn. Kate + Matthew don't come cheap. The movie has earned $70 @ the B.O. (#10 of the year thus far)
09 Leatherheads Budget: $58
That $30.9 gross is why period stuff is always considered risky. It's a budget upper without bankability booster like, say, visual effects. People love their CGI. A great costume is totally a visual effect for me... but I'm not >ahem< normal when it comes to moviegoing
10 Rambo Budget: $50
Is anyone more devoted to his own franchises than Sly Stallone? This is the 4th Rambo (and lowest grosser among them with only $42.7) and he's already done how many Rockys... six?

Top Ten Movies with Actresses (leads or co-leads)

01 27 Dresses (Katharine Heigl) $76.7
02 Fool's Gold (Kate Hudson) $70.1
03 Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Tour (Miley Cyrus) $65.2
04 Step Up 2 the Streets (Briana Evigan) $58.0
05 Baby Mama (Tina Fey & Amy Poehler) $47.3
06 Nim's Island (Abigail Breslin & Jodie Foster) $45.2
07 College Road Trip (Raven Simone) $44.0
08 Prom Night (Brittany Snow) $43.4
09 Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns (Angela Bassett) $41.9
10 What Happens in Vegas (Cameron Diaz) $40.3

Someone kill me now.
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May Flowers, Posterized

Dollhouse Countdown

There are only (very roughly) 175 days until Joss Whedon's new series Dollhouse premieres in November. 175 days of agony personalized just for Nathaniel (and other Whedon devotees). After the multiorgasmic seven years the writer/director gave us w/ Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the intermittent delights of Angel, and the short-lived but uniquely endearing Firefly... I'm more than ready for a fourth wave. You can see the new Dollhouse trailer @ io9.

As I've mentioned before, I'm going to add a once-weekly column on TV. Now I'm thinking perhaps I should just focus on this one. It's too late to start intense Battlestar episode postings, after all. I need TV shows with ambitions that are cinema-sized in order to inspire writing. Because even if Dollhouse isn't great, it'll surely be worth jabbering about. Uniting "Faith" (Eliza Dushku) and "Helo" (Tahmoh Penikett) and then pitting them against what teases like its a fine villainess turn from the normally sweet Olivia Williams (Rushmore, The Sixth Sense)? I'm ready.

more at twiigs.com...

Can we skip on ahead to November? That's when great movies start arriving too.

Recycled Experience: Rowlumbisitis

Since I am still indisposed I thought it might be a good time to revisit a post on Chronicles of Narnia. It's timely given Prince Caspian's solid but unspectacular box office debut and also the return of another nostalgia-heavy George Lucas effort in the form of one Indiana Jones... (still a question mark though early for-nostalgia-only grumblings have been heard) This was originally published in April '06 but I've updated the links. The disease continues to spread.

You may recall that when Chronicles of Narnia came out I said barely a word or two about it. To me it was Insom[Nar]nia. Too inconsequential, pedestrian, and fluffy to think on for more than the time it took the credits to roll. It was infected with the dread "rowlumbusitis" ... a disease that infects family movies based on blockbuster books, Broadway musicals based on movies, movies based on Broadway Musicals, movies based on previous movies in a franchise, and Movies based on TV Series.

Reader: Hmmm. I have never heard of this disease. What are the symptoms -- Can I catch it?
Dr. Nathaniel: Inquisitive reader, take note: You can only catch this disease if you are in a creative field and you are naturally lazy or possessed of meager talent. The most common symptom is the cutting of corners when transferring beloved object A into new medium B or slavish dull recreation of object A with B's new toys or trends. This disease is HIGHLY contagious. It can render you inept or artless and, still, no one will ever punish you or cry for intervention or ask you to seek treatment. Object A is so well known that everyone will give you money for it in Medium B. Their pre-existent affection fills in any blanks in your transfer. A person so infected can work forever without anyone catching wise.

Reader: Is the disease mutating? Can it be stopped?
Dr. Nathaniel: It is not mutating. It's pretty basic and easy to spot. Although there is a sister strand called "lucaslucasitis" that primarily results in intense self-plagiarism and navel gazing, followed by a complete disregard for what made the belly worth looking at in the first place. Like an amnesiac masturbator.

'Can the disease be stopped?' I'm sorry to report that the prospects look dim.


Reader: I would hate to be a doctor. Seriously, can you enjoy anything without seeing sickness everywhere?
Dr. Nathaniel: Sure. Take Tilda Swinton --she swings a mean sword as The White Witch, now, doesn't she?
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She's very discreet... but she will haunt your dreams

My favorite celebrity photo of the week [source] is below. Here we see crazy-ass Sharon Stone speaking at some event while Jane Lynch (from Christopher Guest's mockumentaries) looks on in admiration.


Jane always crack me up and here I imagine that she's about to sing Sharon a few bars of that Guatamalan ditty that she delivered to Steve Carell with such lustful comic zeal in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, practically groping him with her voice. Jane can sing to me any time she likes even if the lyrics are as nonsensical as they supposedly were there

Whenever they clean my room, I can't find anything/Where are you going with such haste?/To a football game [src]

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One Fabulous Funeral. One Epic Introduction

No time to spare but I can't not plug in for a moment to tell you 2 things.

1. Click on over and bid farewell to the great Modern Fabulousity... it's not just print critics who have been saying 'adios' in depressing numbers. The blogosphere also regularly hemorrhages creative biggies like my friend Gabriel (i.e. ModFab) as people wear out from low financial/creative returns on high time/effort investments.

>sniffle<

Best wishes to Gabriel in anything he next sets his eyes & talent on.

I'm a little too OCD to quit The Film Experience just yet but I understand the impulse and sympathize with the fatigue. Every year I fear this writer's life I desire isn't sustainable for another annum or maybe even that the blog prevents any progress in other writing arena$. It's confusing to know where to throw one's energies.

2. In happier news say "Hello Gorgeous" to the first of what we assume will be a few Australia trailers.

I love the Wizard of Oz referencing in this teaser and damn does this thing look ... pretty.

Baz & Nicole (together!) are almost back!
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Off the Rails

The Film Experience management apologizes for upcoming delays and sparse posting ... Nathaniel is possibly experiencing a psychotic break... or is just busy ...or needed by people he loves ... or trying on a lovely white new jacket that's hard to put on by oneself. What an awkward way to design a jacket. Can you buckle me up? Discuss whatever you'd like amongst yourselves. More eventually.

Brangelina, A Confession

WIMB waxes rhapsodic yesterday about Angelina Jolie's "full" pregnancy and expanding palette. I heart Angelina, I do. (Brad as well. duh) And not just because she once looked right @ me. Usually I am a firm believer in not caring that much about the personal lives of celebrities. I'm sure it'd be much better for all of them if we all focused on the work. As an added worldwide benefit, I fully believe that the work itself would be better too: they'd all have to step it up if the public was paying attention to their creative contributions rather than which parties they were attending. Surprise Bonus: In that world there'd be little room for useless celebrity heiresses or damaging coddling out of control celebrities who ignore their own gifts in favor of staying famous for other reasons. If people valued talent and creativity over who went where in what and with whom... imagine it!

But in the case of Brangelina, I am totally happily one of the crowd. I love seeing pics of them. I find their globe-trotting humanitarian adventures admirable and fascinating. I know the names of all their children. And I only feel guilty about enjoying all the surely intrusive paparazzi shots of the brood once in a while. How can I live with this contradiction? I don't know. I just do.


But I can't help it. Ain't they sweet?

May Flowers (Francophile Edition)

Advice to Casting Directors: Two Undervalued Blondes

Lookie here! Two sensational actresses are FREE --well not as in monetarily, but free as in their television series have been cancelled or have expired.


Anne Heche (Men in Trees) is not a generic interchangeable actor. She's a presence. She was an surprising, tempestuous and undervalued big screen actress (Donnie Brasco, Wag the Dog, Psycho, Birth) and then she went a little crazy and became an overvalued celebrity (for the wrong reasons --not that I didn't enjoy the "Celestia" years!) then she did a couple of spins on Broadway (where she was valued if not enough) before she was an undervalued TV star (Men in Trees). Someone treasure her gifts quickly, challenge her. Time is a wasting. Sure, she's a bit of a troubled handful but you get results.

Katee Sackhoff is a terrific actress. I won't lie and claim that she's undervalued on her breakout show (Battlestar Galactica)... they've leaned on her heavily and she's crafted an indomitable fan-favorite character who has evolved considerably from her first bold sketches four years back. Then, and seemingly without dropping a bead of sweat, Katee gave Bionic Woman the only fire it had as its rogue bionic. A bonfire to be more accurate. It was night and day on that show between her scenes and every one else's. Both of those shows have expired or are about to. She's a bonafide super star, if Hollywood would merely point bright lights her way to reflect. Give her a lead role and watch the magic happen.

Wil Yun Lee & Katee on Bionic Woman: the only interesting relationship/subplot.
Come to think of it, let's give him more work too.

Free advice. This is just me giving back to Hollywood.
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What's the last movie you went with your parents to see?

Just wondering.