Emmy Live Blogging: The Swine Flu Edition (Pt 1)

refresh your screen regularly

7:00 You guys. I am a mess. Can't shake this flu... two weeks now of S-I-C-K. I'm not sure how this live-blogging will go. Perhaps I'll only comment should a red carpet moment or acceptance speech rouse me from my feverish stupor? We'll see. As if to add insult to injury, the Boyfriend forced me to watch a whole episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit before flipping to the red carpet arrivals. I don't mean to spoil the episode for you but the bad guys all confessed and the libidinous were punished for their evil sex drives! An innocent escort's (he wasn't the perp) face was disfigured by the end of the episode and all was right with the world. My favorite quote from the episode

I knew if they had the chance, they would ravage me. I told Gary. It made him wild... an animal!

I hope Mariska wins tonight. It's so genius the way she waits till the other actors are done reciting their exposition before she recites her own exposition. Brilliance! [/sarcasm]

7:15 Jon Stewart is talking but he's just wearing a tux (men are so boring) so here's a picture of Damages "supporting" actress, Rose "I have more screentime than Glenn Close!" Byrne wearing a dress that I swore 17 people wore to the 2002 SAG awards. Champagne. I thought Rose was excellent in the indie Dead Girl but after the fact I realize that I just loved her in that because her patented miserabilism is only interesting in very small doses. She's like the television version of mopey Jennifer Connelly.

7:25 They just showed a commercial for Coco Before Chanel. When I hear Alessandro Nivola speaking French I'm totally Gomez on Morticia. Hot!, or rather, Chaud.

7:39 Ryan Seacrest to Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer. "Your show is very provocative." Um... Is English Ryan Seacrest's second language?

7:53 I don't recognize half of these TV people. Where are the movie stars? My mind keeps flashing back to Julia Louis-Dreyfus's purse. DON'T OPEN IT, JULIA!


It's like her very own Lament Configuration. Julia Louis Dreyfus is Hellraiser!

8:05 Neil Patrick Harris is the man. People should not be allowed to host awards shows unless they can sing as well as NPH or dance as joyously as Ellen.


8:14 YAY! The cutest person in the universe Kristin Chenoweth wins Best Supporting Actress for Pushing Daisies. Squeaks her way through some sort of acceptance speech. So very deserved. It was apparently Amy Poehler's idea for all the nominees to wear glasses. Poehler is love. Did you see the gay penguins episode of Parks and Recreation?

8:25 Jon Cryer wins Best Supporting Actor for Two and a Half Men. That's provocative! And also, stupid. His acceptance speech is funny but it's so annoying that Neil Patrick Harris lost again. I wanted him to kiss David Burtka on live television. I've seen Burtka in two plays and he's talented, too.

8:37 Toni Collette wins Best Actress in a Comedy Series for The United States of Tara. I would like to scream "triple crown here she comes" but then I was forced to remember that she did not win the Tony when she did Wild Party, damnit. So really. She just has this one statue. But she deserves as many as Tara has personalities. You know she does.

8:49 Rob Lowe is making a joke about how he makes bad career decisions. This would be funny except that, you know, if you're still famous 25 years after pretending to sleep with your pretend sister Jodie Foster, you're doing something right.

8:53 Alec Baldwin wins Best Actor in a Comedy for 30Rock.

8:56 If we wanted dance routines on an awards show we would have called Debbie Allen. This is not helping my flu. If I didn't already feel sick, the combination of Jon Cryer and Hayden Panetierre as presenters would have convinced me to start coughing up phlegm.

New post. PART TWO
*

Julianne Moore + Annette Bening. Rejoice!

Lisa Cholodenko is flirting with me*. How else to explain the multi-orgasmic news that the writer/director of High Art, one of my all time favorite lesbian movies, is making another and she's making it with two actresses whom I practically can't worship more than I already do? Yesterday, production supposedly began on The Kids Are All Right which will star Julianne Moore and Annette Bening as lovers who've raised two kids together. Their two teenagers (played by Josh Hutcherson and Alice in Wonderland herself Mia Wasikowska) decide to meet the original sperm donor (Mark Ruffalo).

Psycho, The Hours, Running With Scissors

Both actresses have played lesbians before. Moore re-interpreted Psycho's Lila Crane as a record shop dyke and she definitely didn't want to sleep with her husband in The Hours

Come to bed, Laura Brown

For Bening's part she ditched her screen husband for some self-actualizing labia time in Running With Scissors. Her paramours included both Kristin Chenoweth and Gabrielle Union (well done, Annette!)

There's a rumor that the new film will have a bit of steam and I hope that's true. It sounds more like a family dramedy than a romance but I'm hoping Cholodenko finds a way to bring out or at least hint at the passion of the two moms. The Bening is 51 and Julianne is 49. That's way too old for standard Hollywood romances but Bening and Moore are not just any actresses. Neither has ever shied away from forcefully wielding her sexuality onscreen. And Cholodenko is not just any filmmaker. One of her unique gifts as a writer/director is her understanding that women don't stop being sexual at 35. Her previous films have featured unashamed portrayals of sexually vibrant mature women: Patricia Clarkson and Ally Sheedy were nearing 40 when they sizzled together in High Art and Frances McDormand gave her sexiest performance ever in Laurel Canyon when she was 46. McDormand was so confident in that movie that it was easy to believe that the younger, ridiculously sexy musician played by Alessandro Nivola would be into her.

*If Lisa is flirting with me I would like her to know that I am TOTALLY into the idea of a threesome and have always loved her girlfriend Wendy. She's my favorite part of Prince's Kiss video** and I even know all the words to "Fruit at the Bottom" and "This is The Life"! Squeeeee**

**Someone rescue Nathaniel from this 80s binge he's been stuck in all month. It's starting to get scary.

Russell. Morgan. Paul. Alessandro. Chris.

The Top 100 Actor Countdown Continues... with numbers #45 through #41


Read and then return to discuss if you're so moved. Unless your name is Russell Crowe and you're carrying something heavy. I don't have enough medical insurance.

(Plus: Last two days to vote in the latest actor poll. Do it)

tags: Paul Rudd, Alessandro Nivola, Russell Crowe, Chris Cooper, Morgan Freeman

Junebug

It isn't without its flaws but I think Junebug is worth investigating. A little confounding in spots: Some of the directorial flourishes --maybe it's a North Carolina thing. It may also be overly ambitious and too long or overstuffed for what you're actually left with in the end. Which is...what exactly? Individually some of the scenes are super but together. Hmmm. Even though I don't think the film is entirely successful it's definitely its own thing. And that's always a good thing. Particularly for a debut film. So kudos to first time creative team, director Phil Morrison and writer Angus Maclachlan. They're two to watch.

The cast is good too. I will talk about my husband Allesandro Nivola at some later date. I promise. Amy Adams is getting most of the critical attention and has the most endearing character. I also can't neglect mentioning that Celia Weston (Far From Heaven, In the Bedroom) who plays the mother Peg continues to be one of the most perfect character actresses out there, a sturdy secret weapon for filmmakers. (B)