She's Ferocious!

Jose here.


Her hair is harlow gold...


Her lips a sweet surprise...


Her hands are never cold...


She's got Bette Davis eyes.

The first time I listened to Bette Davis Eyes it didn't take me long to understand why nobody ever made a song about Charlie Chaplin's mustache or Marilyn Monroe's beauty mark.
No other body part of any actor has been as iconic and alive as Bette's expressive, beautiful eyes.
Today is Kim Carnes' birthday and what better way to celebrate her than by singing along to her greatest song. But my first time also happened to be sang by Gwyneth Paltrow and even if nobody remembers Duets now (and why should they?) Gwyn's version is really not half bad but it also makes me believe that someone should make a song called Kim Carnes Voice.



What body part or attribute from a celebrity do you think deserves an art piece all its own?
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The Longest Link

Uh... I got a little carried away. Enjoy the ones you will

JACKintheblog 'Is it just me or does Jake Gyllenhaal look...'
Everything I Know responds to EW's list of "greatest characters" with a few theatrical suggestions. EW only allowed for two stage characters. EW sucks at list-making. They're always pandering to the OMGRIGHTNOW
CHUD Austin Texas' great theater The Alamo Drafthouse could be coming to your city. I've only been to Austin once and I only peeked at the exterior but I would go there so often...
The Pixar Blog "Groovin' With Ken" an interview clip that's not in Toy Story 3
The Telegraph Tim Robey on Mark Ruffalo, The Unpretentious Leading Man
Dark Eye Socket What the 00's meant to TFE contributor Craig. It's never too late for a list!
Dear Old Hollywood looks at Bette Davis early homes in California
Anomalous Material is hosting a "greatest comedy of all time" tournament. Let them know what makes you laugh the hardest
Movies Kick Ass "A woman's right to shoes" on Dorothy & her ruby slippers. This is part of...
Encore's Movie Musicals Blog-a-Thon which I didn't know about in time. Ah well.


Sex?
i cite has a thorough piece up about what critics missed in their savage takedowns of Sex and the City 2. Great read, though I wish I had enjoyed the movie this much! For me it's a miss
The Film Doctor 'don't leave me hangin' here'... a discussion about the movie that I appreciate because it's not OTT histrionic / hateful. There's very few discussions of that movie that aren't. And speaking of...
The Telegraph Tim Robey discusses "Sex and the City and the Art of the Pan" citing hilarious takedowns of this film and other hated films.
Huffington Post dating lesssons from the fab four
Tim Seidell equates Sex & the City to Star Wars. Seriously, he does. Original trilogy and 'prequel trilogy' and all
Sling Blog 5 pop culture hits besides SatC that were savaged by audiences that they weren't remotely intended to be enjoyed by

Finally...
Nicks Flick Picks has reached the final 10 in his Best Actress Project. Incredibly he will soon have seen every Best Actress nominee. Latest writeups: Bergman's Anastasia and Irene Dunne in Love Affair. He's got two of my all time favorite nominees coming up in his final 8 screenings: Natalie Wood in Splendor in the Grass (1961) and Judy Garland in A Star is Born (1954). I'm prepared for the worst. Though Nick and I are great friends we disagree surprisingly often on the subject of Actress so I have no expectations as to how he'll respond.

P.S. Don't even ask how close I am to having seen all 408 performances. So much left to see. At least that means multiple pleasures await.

Public Enemies

BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!

RAT-A-TAT-TAT

Christian Bale actually shoots my (guilty pleasure) Channing Tatum down early on in Public Enemies but I've totally forgiven him because I'm so pleased that he didn't shout at the camera with crazy eyes this time. I was getting so tired of that. My second favorite scene in the movie is totally his lone scene with Johnny Depp through the bars of a jail cell, both men subtly trying to come out on top of the verbal smackdown. Bale is totally intense in the scene without once doing his "LOOK HOW INTENSE I AM!" thing. Well played Bale, well played.

My full review of Public Enemies is up over at Towleroad. In addition to holding forth on Public Enemies (which I heartily recommend to some and not to others) my weekly column offers up new gay movie news and wraps up with the criminal cool of Bette Davis. So, go read it.

But back to PE...

I'm totally fascinated by the diverse opinions I've been hearing and reading. Rather improbably for a straightforward gangster story, it seems to be something of a rorschach test, people reacting to it in completely personal ways. How else to explain nearly exact opposite reactions such as 'this is a character study but the action doesn't work' vs. 'there is zero character development but the action scenes are well shot'.

It's for this very dichotomous reason that I don't subscribe to either of the Oscar race notions floating around out there: the pro 'The Oscar race has begun' or the con 'Dead on arrival. Look at the middling reviews!' It seems obvious to me that it's the type of picture that will need time to settle. I think that's a good thing. Too many movies are instantaneously celebrated or dismissed on their very first day in theaters (and sometimes before that). Christ, let them breathe a little.

But if you've seen it, do add your initial impression to the confusing dogpile. After all, gut reactions come before full digestion.
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Streep Noms #4-5 and Oscar Trivia

Streep at 60: More movie discussions to follow but today we're discussing Oscar competitive fields again
(the winner links take you to their acceptance speech)

The Best Actress races of 1982 and 1983 hold special meaning for me as they were my inaugural Oscar years. On April 11th of 1983 I saw my first Oscar ceremony. My only point of reference for the glitzy tradition was that my parents and my older siblings didn't like it -- something about Star Wars being way better than Woody Allen??? --and even though my parents didn't take me to that many movies, I had somehow seen and liked 3 of the 5 Best Picture nominees (Gandhi and the two blockbusters Tootsie & E.T.) For the first two years of my Oscar watching I saw a total of ZERO Best Actress nominees. My how life has changed.

1982...

• Julie Andrews, Victor/Victoria -this is the one I desperately wanted to see, being in love with both Mary Poppins and Maria Von Trapp. My parents refused to take me, muttering something about Julie Andrews appearing in a porno ... I was very confused.
  
• Jessica Lange, Frances
• Sissy Spacek, Missing
  
• Meryl Streep, Sophie's Choice
• Debra Winger, An Officer and a Gentleman
  

Other '82 female leads for context: Diane Keaton in Shoot the Moon, Teri Garr in One From the Heart, Carol Burnett in Annie, Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Nathalie Baye in The Return of Martin Guerre and Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2

Streep Stats: With this win Meryl became the 4th actress to win an Oscar for a Nazi/Holocaust related drama. It didn't happen again until Winslet won this past February for The Reader. Meryl was not, at 33 then, the youngest actress to win a second Oscar. Luise Rainer still holds that title winning her second Oscar in 1938 when she was only 28. Even Jodie Foster couldn't top that (her Silence of the Lambs win came at 29 years of age).

1983...

• Jane Alexander, Testament
• Shirley Maclaine, Terms of Endearment
  
• Meryl Streep, Silkwood
• Julie Walters, Educating Rita
  
• Debra Winger, Terms of Endearment

Other '83 female leads for context: Arielle Dombasle in Pauline at the Beach, Mariel Hemingway in Star 80, Bonnie Bedelia in Heart Like a Wheel, Sigweavy in The Year of Living Dangerously, Susan Sarandon & Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger and Babs in Yentl.

Streep Stats: Despite being only 34 years old when her 5th nomination rolled around, Meryl doesn't hold the record for fastest to get there: Bette Davis held the record for 65 years (accomplishing it by the age of 33) until Kate Winslet took over earning her fifth nomination (Little Children) at 31. I'm guessing that record holds for as long as Bette's did.

Give or take Norma Shearer who is either tied for 3rd place or in 5th
place depending on how you count her nominations

What are your ideal Oscar shortlists / wins in 1982 and 1983?
If you haven't seen very many early 80s movies, which are you most eager to finally get to?

Linky the Blogger Slayer

Self Styled Siren has a fascinating quote from William Wellman on the psychology of actors
<--- THR A relaunch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer without the Scoobies, Gellar or Joss Whedon. Ewww. Remember what happened last time they revived Buffy from the dead? She weren't too happy 'bout it, y'all. Learn from past mistakes or be doomed to repeat them.
Big Picture on Ulmer Scale of Bankability. Re: Nicole Kidman

Even overseas, people see her choice of roles as very erratic. She'll do a studio film, but followed by several films that don't even register overseas. She's just too unpredictable. A French executive I spoke to said, "I find her fascinating, but she's too quirky." That makes her a very risky bet.

Fabulon has some clips from a Bette Davis sitcom The Decorator
Risky Biz on marketing Palme D'Or winner The White Ribbon

---> Elizabeth Banks has fun posts up with personal pics and views from Cannes.

...I just got back from the Festival de Cannes. It was pretty good...

We saw UP in 3-D (adorable) and Precious (the opposite of adorable, but great). So I guess it was better than good.

Hell on Frisco Bay sees a documentary about the Sherman Brothers (Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang). I want to see this toot sweet.
DListed Cher & Christina Aguilera as co-stars?
I Need My Fix Heather Graham has some words for the producer of her latest

Corbis has a fun brief article by Fran Lebowitz on this ancient Warhol portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I link to this because the grim box office of Terminator Salvation (less than T3 many years of ticket price inflation later) suggests that without Ahnuld, there is no interest in Terminators. CGI Ahnuld need not apply. If your personal lack of interest involves the lack of a James Cameron behind the wheel, you can click over to Market Saw to whet your appetite for Avatar. The shot they have is supposedly of body armor worn by humans attacking an alien village. It's reminiscent of Ripley in her exoskeleton in Aliens, don'cha think?

Breakfast With... Bette Davis

She's served in bed in fluffy pink nightgown as all divas should be.

[photo src]

Why isn't she smoking yet?
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Where My Heart Lies. And Yours?

Nathaniel's 20 all time favorite actresses (in no particular order and if you ask me on another day...)

Audrey, Kate, Vivien, Ingrid, Natalie, Jane, Bette, Meryl,
Kathleen, Julie, Diane, La Liz, Norma, Carole, Michelle,
Judy, Julianne, Catherine, Julie and Joan

Because sometimes you need to be reminded.

P.S. 1 my apologies to Marilyn Monroe who I did forget (and whom I prefer to, say, Audrey Hepburn) and about 20 others I love nearly as much as these 20 including the much maligned Ms. Kidman and everyone's favorite Georgia Peach --no, not Julia, HOLLY! ...

P.S. 2 Let's have a meme of all time actress love. Post them just like so --no explanation and no ranking necessary

P.S. 3 I've linked up as they came in but I really must stop updating this post now.

P.S. 4 if you need something more accurate about my love please see the earlier post Top 100 of All Time OR the Top 100 of the Aughts which is about 3 years old now and which I will revise in late 2009 to reflect the last 4 years of cinema.

JA's list. Sissy, Samantha, Sigourney oh my.
J.D.'s list. Annie, Knightley, Linney, Ziyi...
El Gringo's list is specifically meant to provoke me. He steals away an adolescent crush (Elisabeth Shue) and my current imaginary gf (Marisa Tomei). He must be stopped!
Nick's list (and I didn't even tag him. Show off) Tilda up top
Peter's list. Lovely photos and my Natalie is there
Glenn's list down under. Toni. Nicole. Michelle. Lily...
Flickhead's list. Deneuve. Kidman. Wood. Weld. yummy
Jeremy's list. Though he cheated and left out the "all time" part ;) It's post 70s only
Ivan's list is fascinating: Holm, Remick, Trevor, Grahame
Celinejulie's list. Very different than the rest
Ed's list. Dalle, Seberg, Schygulla, Thurman...
Sheila's list. Adjani, Kahn, O'Hara, Monroe...
Rick's list. Cheung, Colbert, Pfeiffer, Dunaway. Mmmm
Dave's list: Marlene. Mia. Miranda.
Tony's list has Fonda (Bridget!???), Abril (si!) and more
Bob's list: Masina, Moreau, Testud, Gyllenhaal
Cinebeat's list cheats with 23 ~Three of them have to go!!! But which?
Jonathan opts for only character actresses. StinkyLulu would be proud
Dame Jame's has Marie Dressler & Thelma Ritter. I love this
Darren goes all mysterious with only pics. Can you name all 20?
J.C. goes classic Hollywood. My Norma is there!
Kotto honors performances rather than actresses
StinkyLulu narrows the 20 down even further turning it into a history of his smackdowns
Laura's list: Loretta, Ginger, Irene
Jason cheats too. It's just top 20 of rightnow
Tim's list reflects on all of these lists
Wendymoon commits heresy. Says she likes actors better!

Help -- the meme has totally evolved! Soon it will walk on two hind legs and learn how to make fire

And... if you would like to read more on any of the actresses above chase their labels below.
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She's Got Bette Davis Size

Imagine risking comparison to Bette Davis. Just go ahead and imagine it. ZOINKS! Scary stuff, right? It'd take an actress of significant theatrical heft, self-satisfied chutzpah, and A list poise to do so. I guess it would take... The Bening.

from today's NY Times Arts section

She'll be playing Davis' signature role, theatrical grand dame "Margo Channing", in All About Eve next Monday right here in NYC. $1500 for a good seat, eh? Oh, to run with the deep pocketed arts loving crowd --or sit with them rather. Even if you don't jones for The Bening the way I do, the ticket also brings you her American Beauty sausage Peter Gallagher, Oscar & TONY winner Joel Grey, the legendary Angela Lansbury, Sex & The City's Cynthia Nixon and silver fox John Slattery (Mad Men) among others. What's not to fork over $1500 for? If you carry that kind of cash.

I doubt that I've seen enough classic films in my lifetime to do justice to a "best screenplays ever" type of list but if one were to be drawn up, All About Eve's would rank quite highly. The sharpness, wit and steel of those words ... don't you just love?

Body of Links

Ephemerist on fashion tyranny and Christina Hendricks' curves
GreenCine Guillaume Depardieu has died @ 37 years young. I loved him in Pola X and Tout Les Matins du Mondes [sniffle]
Cinema Styles "Bad Date" a screengrab story
Huffington Post Tina Fey on Sarah Palin. "I'm done" And by done she means...
NewNoxNext Lots of new Milk pics
Roger Ebert on that Bette Davis stamp ~ 'what a dump disappointment'
Just Jared Madonna brings Filth & Wisdom to New York during her "Sticky & Sweet" stay
The Big Picture on the dismal box office take of Body of Lies
A Socialite's Life 'she who must not be named' is now being sung about. I guess that's one way to avoid saying her name.

And finally, the new Twilight trailer. Doesn't it look like a superhero blockbuster now instead of a vampire romance?



I guess they know where the box office has been going all year... to men with super powers.
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"What a dump stamp"

Time for a completely useless poll! But polls are fun, yes?

poll by twiigs.com

DVD Releases: Chipmunks, Bette, Sweeney

Run for your lives. Alvin and the Chipmunks is now on DVD and the said-to-be-pure-crap movie which I will never ever see, which won more box office dollars than all of the critical hit dramas of 2007 (or thereabouts) combined, more popular with John Q Public then the bliss of Ratatouille (and I wish I could scream "april fools" after saying that, but alas --tis true), will now be seen by millions more. What a world.

Other new DVD releases: The Good Night (featuring Paltrow, Cruz and DeVito) and Samuel J Jackson's 79th feature film Resurrecting the Champ (he can't say no!)


In better news, Tim Burton's interpretation of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is also out for your home viewing pleasure. Though my own review was glowing, my reaction mirrored its Oscar run. When it opened it had critics and Oscar pundits all hyped up and eager for a shave and then everybody said "nyahh" at the last minute and moved on. A fast fade --not the masterpiece it should have been --but definitely worth seeing for that genius score, Burton's gleeful blood sprays, and pieces of Johnny & Helena's Golden Globe celebrated performances.

Finally, just in time for Davis's centennial (see previous post) is Volume 3 of the Bette Davis Collection. It doesn't have any of her Oscar nominated performances but it's a true 1940s fest with the The Old Maid, All This and Heaven Too, The Great Lie, In This Our Life, Watch on the Rhine and Deception.

Links (Plus Bette Davis)

Overheard at the Movie Theater
After the trailer to Nicolas Cage's latest action travesty Bangkok Dangerous ended...

Smart Guy Behind Me: It's like an SNL skit.
Smart Girl Beside Him: Seriously

Oh, yes... links
A Socialite's Life something is very wrong with Lara Flynn Boyle's face. And not in the way that something is wrong with Nicolas Cage's face.
Kenneth in the (212) Cheyenne Jackson is on the cover of The Advocate. Mmmm, Cheyenne.
The Reeler rounds up the best of the New Directors/New Films series here in NY
Evening Class interviews the director of Sockets a new queer horror film hitting DVD that's got obvious Cronenberg influences
ScreenDaily talks to George Clooney about Leatherheads and Burn After Reading. I'm so happy that George is doing comedy. I think that's his true gift.
Moviehole Jason Biggs taking over as Spidey? Um...
This Distracted Globe on Blade Runner. I don't know what it is but every time I chance upon a review of Blade Runner I read it. I probably don't wanna know how many reviews of this movie I've read.

GreenCine Daily rounds up the blogs paying homage to Bette Davis as we approach her centennial (April 5th). You know. I think the first time you see a true star has a lot of impact on how you respond to their whole career. It took me a really long time to get over my early images of Bette Davis. When I was a wee kid you would sometimes see her on TV and she was this weird ancient chain-smoking lady... the first movie I saw her in was Return to Witch Mountain (1978) --I was really into those Witch Mountain movies. So when I started watching her movies, I went backwards. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, All About Eve. But I'm still not as well versed in classic Davis as I should be and whenever I see something really old like Three on a Match or especially Jezebel or Now Voyager I'm just thrilled to be looking at her. Can't pry my eyes away. Must see more. Soon.

20:07 (Bette Plays Hard to Get)

Screenshots from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie
I can't guarantee the same results at home (different players/timing). I use a VLC

[knock knock knock knock]

Julie? Julie! It’s Pres. Open the door I want to talk to you. Julie, why don’t you answer? Now look here Julie, you and I have got to straighten things out. There’s no sense to all this!

Oscar's Best Actress Hierarchy. A Discussion

I'm psyching myself up for Fall pre-Oscar season. Join me. You know how it goes once September hits. The prestige movies arrive and virtually everything from trailers to talk shows to box office numbers work as viral "for your consideration" ads. The new banner up top, which I've broken into two for discussion purposes here, shows in descending order the women with the most "Best Actress" nominations. No supporting nominations were included in the totals. These are Oscar's favorite leading ladies ranked. And this, is (duh) my favorite category.


01. Katharine Hepburn -12 nominations (32/33, 35, 40, 42, 51, 55, 56, 59, 62, 67, 68, 81) look at that time span ~ just astounding isn't it?
02. Meryl Streep -11 nominations (81, 82, 83, 85, 87, 88, 90, 95, 98, 99, 06) the most modern woman on the list in terms of Oscar since she switches between supporting and lead nominations: that's very common now but it didn't use to be for big stars.
03. Bette Davis -10 nominations (35, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 44, 50, 52, 62)
04. Greer Garson -7 nominations (39, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 60) She's the least well known today but see any of her performances and understand why Oscar fell hard. A charm machine.


05. (Tie ~6 lead noms each... in chronological order)
Norma Shearer (yay! 29/30, 30/31, 34, 36, 38) One could argue that she's only had 5 noms since she was nominated for two different performances in one year --before they changed the rules on that. But why quibble? Norma needs -- nay deserves your love
Ingrid Bergman (43, 44, 45, 48, 56, 78)
Deborah Kerr (49, 53, 56, 57, 58, 60) the most nominated female lead to have never won the naked shiny man... though Peter O'Toole has her beat overall in the male counterpart category
Jane Fonda (69, 71, 77, 78, 79, 86)
Sissy Spacek (76, 80, 82, 84, 86, 01)

The last time there was a significant change in the field was when Spacek joined, expanding Oscar's top eight women to a top nine once In the Bedroom (2001) hit, ending her 15 year Oscar drought. How long until someone forces a true top ten?


10. (eight-way tie with 5 lead nominations each)
The next group (5 lead noms) is bigger and includes actresses who've passed away (Susan Hayward, Anne Bancroft, Audrey Hepburn) and one retired giant (La Liz!) so let's just talk about the ones that are still living and working in films and who, thus, still have a chance at increasing their legends:

Shirley Maclaine (58, 60, 63, 77, 83)
Ellen Burstyn (73, 74, 78, 80, 00)
Jessica Lange (82, 84, 85, 89, 94)
Susan Sarandon (81, 91, 92, 94, 95)

Almost all of them have been working strictly in ensembles in recent years. Can they find their own In the Bedroom?

18. (fourteen-way tie: 4 lead noms each)
Just below them in the Oscar horse race are many who've passed on (Barbara Stanwyck, Irene Dunne, Greta Garbo, Janet Gaynor, Rosalind Russell) five retired winners (Jennifer Jones, Jane Wyman, Olivia DeHavilland, Joanne Woodward, Glenda Jackson) and one who has moved to TV guest work (Marsha Mason)...

Three working legends are also in this tier. How many more rungs up the ladder can Judi Dench (97, 01, 05, 06), Diane Keaton (77, 81, 96, 03) or Vanessa Redgrave (66, 68, 72, 84) climb? Or is it supporting roles from here on out?

Oscar's 80th birthday is just six months away ~ What happens to the Best Actress field in Oscar's octogenarian years? Must we wait until Kate Winslet is in her 40s for a real shakeup of the rank? You want to share your theories about the future of this hierarchy in the comments. You know you do.

Thanks to ~Little Golden Guy for a great database. Related stuff ~This year's Best Actress Race (updates soon) or click any of the labels below for more on these cinema greats...

1942: War Brides, Spinsters, Evil Moms

And now... just what you've *all* been waiting for --And by "all" I mean those individual readers as Oscar-obsessed as I, which is, I'll readily admit, something of a condition --another OSCAR NOMINEE CLIP REEL !!! This one takes us back some sixty-four years (whew). The nominees were:


Gladys Cooper is Bette Davis tyrannical mother in the excellent Now, Voyager, the first of three career nominations. Like her competitor Whitty, she was also a "Dame".
Agnes Moorehead is 'Crazy Aunt Fannie' in The Magnificent Ambersons, her second film with Orson Welles. 'Fannie' brought her the first of four nods (followed by six Emmy noms for "Endora" on Bewitched.)
Susan Peters. She's hot for her uncle (no, really) in Random Harvest. A rising star at 21 but this was her only nomination. She suffered a tragic paralyzing accident three years after this breakthrough.
Dame May Whitty played the town titan 'Lady Beldon' in Mrs. Miniver and received the second of two career nominations.
Teresa Wright also from Miniver playing a headstrong young war bride. This is one of three noms. She was also in the Best Actress shortlist this same year for Pride of the Yankees.



After watching --head on over to Stinky Lulu for the "Supporting Actress Smackdown" Four Oscar enthusiasts (including yours truly) are debating the individual and collective merits of this particular grouping.

Find out which performances we liked best...

tags: Academy Awards, Oscars, movies, film, entertainment

Simply the Bette

Had she miraculously lived through breast cancer, that haze of smoke constantly surrounding Bette Davis would've taken her. But not without a fight! The sharp-tongued screen legend woulda been 98 long years old today *wipes away tear* So if you still haven't kicked the habit, light a cigarette today in her honor. Better yet, curl up with one of her movies.

Previous Bette-centric posts:
"She's a Bitch @ The Movies" video compilation
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Halloween

"She's a Bitch" -Video Spectacular

First of all my apologies to the ever fierce Missy Elliott (go out and buy all her CDs. now.) who provides the vocals but does not appear. This is my favorite of all video edits I've done... [NSFW due to Missy's love of profanity]

How many hot bitches from the movies and pop culture do you recognize herein? So many diva-tastic characters I think you'll feel your ass has been thoroughly kicked. (But you'll be begging these ladies for more.)

YOUTUBE tried to destroy this video but it's been reborn here

Tags: missy elliott, madonna, catwoman, bette davis, music video

A History of... Bald Women

It's Tuesday. Time for "A HISTORY OF..." This one is dedicated to Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta which opens on Friday.



Since Time Began ...most babies are born without much follicular activity atop their noggin. Yes, even Crystal Gayle.

1928 Maria Falconetti gives one of the greatest performances of cinematic history in The Passion of Joan of Arc. She does it with a shaved head and a whole lotta tears. Louise Brooks counters with this look and wins the hairstyle wars of 1929. Bald movie stars aren't seen again until...

1955 Bette Davis shaves her hairline back for her second portrayal of Queen Elizabeth in The Virgin Queen. She bitches about it forever after because the eyebrows don't grow back. Wimp.

1975 Jane Curtin and Laraine Newman, far more serious and committed thespians, shave their heads and receive painful pointed cranial implants for a recurring sketch on Saturday Night Live. Dan Aykroyd wusses out and opts for a prosthetic.

1979 Star Trek: The Motion Picture debuts in theaters. The only visual effect that gets people excited is Persis Khambatta's naked head. So memorable is this rare sight that bald fetishists still give her prizes two decades later.

1984 David Lynch, who has been known to throw shiny pates at our eyeballs (particularly with giants and midgets), tries his favored visual hook out on the ladies...well, on the villainous nuns in Dune. To the auteur of improbably abundant hair, BALD = CREEPY.

1990 Scalp exhibitionist Sinéad O'Connor follows up her brilliant debut "The Lion and the Cobra" with accessible megahit "Nothing Compares 2 U" and becomes, briefly, a megastar.

1992 Sinéad tears up a picture of the Pope on national television. Advisors to his Holiness in Rome poo-poo the idea of a papal ban on bald-headed women when a nasty case of lice kicks off the Further Adventures of Ellen Ripley (also known as Alien³) the same year. Even the Vatican doesn't dare mess with Sigourney in ass-kicking mode.

1997 Demi Moore rocks Viggo Mortenson's sexist world in GI Jane and invites audiences to "suck my dick." For the most part only Roger Ebert takes her up on the offer. In his defense her breasts do look larger than ever without those raven locks pulling focus.

2005 Ever the hard hitting journalists, Entertainment Tonight investigates the shame and pixelated terror of balding female soap stars.

2006 Natalie Portman gets her head shaved (on camera) for V For Vendetta in subsequent months she looks more beautiful than ever reminding us all that a good hairdresser is expensive, but God is the best beautician of all. What he can do with an electric razor and perfect bone structure...

Previous "Histories of..."
Sarah Jessica Parker * Gay Cowboys * Julianne Moore's Screen Kids * Jake & Maggie Gyllenhaal