Links

They're not naked. They're not golden. They're not holding a sword. They're -- gasp -- just links! [No Oscars Allowed Edition]

Bright Lights on the moebius strip of Casino Royale. Fun article.
Film Ick has a script review of Mysteries of Pittsburgh. The new film is based on one of my favorite books and the more I read about it, the more I'm staying away.
fecundmellow has a beautiful, searching post on the ongoing Grey's Anatomy name-calling controversy.
goatdog schedules a "1927 blog-a-thon" ~ tis an important cinematic year
ModFab on Robbie Williams' "She's Madonna"
SMH more on Baz Luhrmann's Australia

The Very Last Oscar Post Prior to The Actual Nominations on Tuesday. Aren't You Dying of Excitement?

And isn't the title of this post as obnoxious as you can possibly imagine? I try. I was going for just this side of 'shut up already! get on with it' as a way of paralleling my own feelings about the Oscars. Every year with this endless foreplay...

So, the race for those Oscar noms has been boring since December. That's right about when everyone and their dog agreed that Helen Mirren was the greatest actress to have ever lived (or at least as good as you know, 1/2 of Hilary Swank). That's when everyone drank the Kool-aid that there were only five movies released last year. For the record their names were: The Departed, The Queen, Babel, Dreamgirls, and Little Miss Sunshine.

The Final Predictions As with any year there is usually a teensy amount of drama in regards to who gets the fifth spot in any given shortlist. So here are my best guesses or in one case, my best throwing caution to the wind... who cares about statistics. UPDATE: There's even documentary feature and animated short predictions for completists!



Discuss in the comments. Agree? Disagree? What do you expect we'll see? Read those final predix ~ then hash it out in the comments. You got less than 24 hours to do so. While you're doing that I'll be preparing for Tuesday's nominations. Gotta build all the web pages and, as is my annual tradition, hold that séance to try to summon Jessica Tandy back from beyond the grave. See, she has this stolen Oscar and it still needs to get to its rightful owner. If I have to call on the dark forces to get it there, don't think I won't.

Best Actress... What a World

With the posting of the Best Actress and Best Cinematography nominees the first half of the FiLM BiTCH Awards (or: my imaginary Oscar ballot) are complete. Those two categories were the hardest to decide on and while my choice for a Best Actress shortlist probably reads like a statement (in its minus two consensus) ... it's really not. This is just an honest carefully considered (one might say "obsessed over") opinion in a year that had way too many riches --of the 2005 contestants only the winner would make the lineup this year and she'd be in last place. That's how strong this year is comparatively. At any rate the Oscar choices for Best Actress will be thrilling. It'll be the most celebration worthy lineup since 1987. Best in 20 years = not too shabby.

Re: Winslet. I know she has legions of fans. I'm one of them, a die hard. But before you descend with pitchforks and torches, remember this: if I ran the world she'd have already won two Oscars. So put down those torches. Wouldn't you rather live in that world?

Regarding my off-consensus choices. I couldn't part with either no matter how many times I rethought. One terrified me and the other bewitched me in ways I still can't completely figure but felt like I should acknowledge for her staying power in my heart.

P.S. I'll fill in the last few "scene" and "character" prizes for the 7th annual Film Bitch Awards in the next week with medalists in all categories to be announced on February 5th, 2007.

Final Oscar Predictions very soon.

Siskel & Ebert Nick & Nathaniel

As many of you know, Nick Davis (of Nicks Flick Picks) and I are friends in real life. Here's a weird thing you might not have noticed if you don't read us both regularly: we don't agree all that often. We both go nutso for 70s Altman, yes. We're both shameless actressexuals, it's true. We have sympatico moviegoing urges (We'll actually walk to movie theaters if we have to. Even if it's miles away. Even if it's uphill in both directions. During a blizzard). But beyond that: not so much in the way of total agreement.

So, if we had our own show we'd be arguing all the time, like Roger Ebert did back when he had a formidable co-chair. For instance, our top ten lists will be diverging considerably this year --his is due within the next week. But he went and gave almost all of my favorites B or B minuses this year which means he's treating my babies like I treated Oscar's favored pups this year (i.e. 'yeah, they're OK -- what else ya got beeyotch?') So when we do agree I feel even more prone to linking. Check out this happy "Block Party 2006" --it's the titles that made moviegoing fun last year. I second all of the recommendations I've seen and I'm adding the ones I haven't to my Netflix queue. Nick's also got his Oscar predictions posted -- can't say I agree there but it's a good funny read.

My final Oscar predictions will be up by approximately 2:30 PM EST

Supporting Actress 2006: My Ballot

Did you know Mr. Bleichert that Ramona Boulevard is named after me? When Emmett married me for my father's money he promised my family that he would use his influence with the city zoning board to have a street named after me. All he could manage was a dead end block in a red light district in Lincoln Heeeiiights

If I had an Oscar ballot, these five women would feature: a drunk mad heiress, a careless nanny, a murder victim, a snobbish fashion plate and a dithering folk singer. See the list and the runners up

This and Oscary That

Updates to the FB Awards including Best Supporting Actor and more of the behind the scenes contributions like Adapted Screenplay and the ever important Art Direction and Film Editing and Sound Editing. My Final Oscar Nomination Predictions will be up either late tonight or tomorrow morning (I need a breather before the madness of the nominations themselves) In other Oscar focused news: Eddie has begun posting the fun survey results of "Best & Worst 'Best Actress' Wins" --reading through the Worst lists and the understandably bitchy quipping makes you want to throttle AMPAS all over again. Never a Stanwyck or a Garland and still no Winslet, Moore or Pfeiffer ... and for whom? Arrrrrgh.


Oh and Little Miss Sunshine won its first "Best Picture" prize --from the Producers Guild of America. Not too shabby (The Producers Guild wisely chose Brokeback last year and Moulin Rouge! in 2001 so they have built up some goodwill with me) So now all of next Tuesday's nominees have at least one prize under their belt going into the big race - will we have an actual five-way race this year? Unheard of but exciting.

"Fifty Bucks Says You Don't Look This Good In Your Fifties"

...that's what I imagine Geena Davis saying in this photo which was taken about a year ago.

I'll admit to intermittent amnesia when it comes to the fabulous Ms. Davis but for awhile in the 90s it was tough to beat her. She was really on top of the game. An Oscar in March of 1989, a starring role in a hotbutton classic in 1991 (Thelma & Louise), carrying a big hit in 1992 (A League of Their Own) in which she replaced an 'it girl' from the 1980s: Debra Winger. Hollywood is quite the merry go round, in'nt it? People jump on, they get dizzy and fall off, they marry Finns who destroy their careers...

Geena Davis may not be the star she once was, but I'm always hoping she'll surprise us with one more great movie role. Even if she never acted again though she'd hold a special place in my heart just for "Thelma". One of my favorite line readings of all time belongs to her in that film. She and Louise (Susan Sarandon) are trying to determine what to do next and they both realize that returning to their past lives is no longer an option.

Something's, like, crossed over in me and I can't go back. I mean I couldn't live.

She's so earnest in her delivery and so surprisingly unsurprised. And she's sunburnt (good look on both those ladies, btw). God, I love that scene.

Happy birthday Geena!

Good Vs. Evil: 'White Bread' Teachers

If you're wondering why I haven't yet seen Freedom Writers, you just haven't been paying attention, have you? A: Hilary Swank and B: Hilary Swank. And, truth be told, I didn't even like this movie 12 years ago when it was called Dangerous Minds even though it starred my living goddess. Plus I don't ever want to go back to high school again. The only way I'm going is if Michelle Pfeiffer comes with and throws candy bars my way every time I get the answer right.

Anyway I already know that Michelle Pfeiffer was greater in the role of "Ms. Erin LouAnne Gruwell Johnson" than Beelzebub Hilary Swank could ever hope to be even without seeing the remake. For one, she's La Pfeiffer and if you're going to play a saint it's easier to pull that kind of role off if you're already godlike. And for two, Pfeiffer is sooooo much cooler than Swank. Swank may boogie down with her students in Freedom Writers but Pfeiffer shook her stuff with both her students and Coolio in Dangerous Minds. I rest my case.


Good wins this round. But the eternal battle rages on...

Previously in the 'who can blame me?' loathing of Ms. Swank:
Smell Like Skank * P.S. I Hate Her * Prophetic Nightmare *

Previously in my entirely understandable worship of La Pfeiffer:
Velma Von Tussel * Pfeiffer: Catch That Wave * Pfeiffer Blog-a-Thon -37 Participating Blogs

Previously in Good Vs. Evil
666 Edition * Star Wars * Heath Ledger Auteurs * Squinty-Eyed Oscar Winners * Musical Theater Birthday Boys *

Step Up. Make My Speech.

'member I made that dope Step Up. Well, I'm stepping up to the podium real soon. Ha - sorry bad pun. I'm just playin'.

Anyway, I'm getting prizes. Ya heard? I got that Indie Spirit thing... Well, not yet but it's coming my way. And now one of these here FiLM BiTCH things --never heard of but whatever: "Best Breakthrough" I'll take it. Speakin of bitches, it's all ladies keeping me company in the category, so even if I lose I win. There's that hot fashion chick, that dreamgirl who's always telling you --we heard you already, damn! -- and somebody else I forgot. I can't figure out how the voting works but I'm obviously gonna win. Missy Sunshine ain't never seen my superfreak moves.

Later.

Oh, Nathan also posted somethin' bout Maggie G's (MILF) "body" which i'm totally behind.

P.S 2 here's my my virgin (heh) trip to the film experience if ya missed it.

tags: Maggie Gyllenhaal, movies, celebrities, Channing Tatum, Dreamgirls, independent spirit

Saturday Link Fever

Zoom-In Online has a lot of new Sundance coverage. This film The Savages (starring 'the lovely laura linney') sounds good
Jesus Hearts Music Beyoncé's daddy thinks she lost the Golden Globe because of racism. Try not to crack up laughing. He must'a missed that last 30 years on Planet Earth in which La Streep was (repeatedly) anointed the greatest actress ever. [src]
100 Films 100-- no make that 5, a top 5 for 2006
The Hot Blog intrigues me w/ a description of Samantha Morton's new film.
LA Observed more ink for Mirren (and a great photo) and apparently the Wells vs. Poland business also gets print coverage
Cinematical what's next for Scorsese?
Pajiba's First Annual Shit List: Featuring Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore, and my favorite "People Who Waited Until 2006 to Start Hating Mel Gibson" -hee.
Cinemarati have begun their 2006 'best of the year' countdown which will be going on daily for the next week. Check in and join the discussions.

Get Me Wardrobe

Some new editions to the FiLM BiTCH Awards in a few technical categories

Best Costume Design
Don't try wearing any of the year's best costumes at home. Unless you're a Chinese empress, a frivolous dauphine of France, a member of a girl group or just a top drawer drag queen, you'll never be able to pull it off. And I'm betting you're not. One of those things I mean. If you are please e-mail me ...now.

My nominees are also up for Animated Film (zzz) and less glitzy categories like Original Score, Original Song, Adapted Screenplay, Sound and Sound Effects are on their way as the day progresses (I gotta finish by Monday) so just refresh on occassion if you're desperate to see the kudos.

Return and discuss in the comments and imagine yourself wearing a movie costume while doing so. And please share that mental image. You know, for fun.

Notorious (Times Two)

Thank You For Linking

Miami Herald on the "X"s in The Departed. Cool. [src]
Tom O'Neill on the SOAP honors: groupthink and category fraud.
Center of Gravitas a love/hate relationship with Ugly Betty.
The Gilded Moose A message from Warren Beatty
Glitterati Lindsay in rehab. I've tried not to care but I still do. Get well LiLo
NYT Oh happy day. The execrable Beauty & The Beast is closing on Broadway. To make room for The Little Mermaid but still... That couldn't be any worse, could it?

And just because I've been madly in love with him for years, here's Rupert Everett on "The View" and also reading a portion of his new Hollywood dirty laundry autobiography Red Carpets and other Banana Skins which I assume is his way of saying 'I don't care if I ever work again'

Great Moments: Shampoo (1975)

I've got Warren Beatty on the brain since that tribute on Monday night at the Golden Globes. So, here's a moment I love from Hal Ashby's Shampoo (1975) written by The Bening's husband and Robert Towne. This scene always gets to me because Carrie Fisher seems like she's a hundred years-old. She was actually somewheres around 18 and this was her debut. There's a split second late in the scene when the teenager peeks through as she glances quickly back and forth, too aware that she's playing a naughty adult game. Great cameo-ish performance.

Warren Beatty plays George, a womanizing hairdresser. He's been invited into Lorna's kitchen for a snack.


Lorna: Want some lox?

George: No, thanks.

Lorna: You're my mother's hairdresser.

George: I do hair, yeah.

Lorna: Chopped liver?

George: No, thanks.

Lorna: Are you gay? Want a baked apple? They're cold, but good.

George: No, thanks.

Lorna: Did you hear me?

George: Yeah.

Lorna: Well, are you? Are you queer?

George: Sure.

Lorna: Come on. Are you or aren't you?

George: [chewing on celery] This is great, huh.

Lorna: Come on, tell me. Don't be afraid.

George: Why do you want to know so bad?

Lorna: See if you're making it with my mother.

George: Why would my being a faggot have anything to do with that?

Lorna: Nothing, I guess. Have you ever made it with a guy?

George: You ever make it with a girl?

Lorna: Are you?

George: Am I what -- what are you talking about?

Lorna: Making it with my mother?

George: I'd love to do your hair sometime.

Lorna: Do you have a thing about older women? Because that's sort of faggoty, isn't it?

I never get my hair done. In fact, I don't think I've ever been to a beauty salon in my whole life. You think that's funny, don't you?

George: Yeah.

Lorna: Beverly Hills hairdresser. You might as well be a faggot. You think that's funny, too?


George: No.

Lorna: Then what do you think?

George: You know, I think you got exactly the same eyes as your mother. And your chin's a little bit like hers, too.

Lorna: No, it isn't. No.

Goerge: I think it is.

Lorna: No, no... and my eyes aren't like hers either.

George: They are. Because they...

Lorna: No, they're not.

George: They really are.

Lorna: [suddenly angry] No, they're not, they're not. I'm nothing like my mother!

George: I'm not trying to insult you, you know. Can't we just be friends?

Lorna: Okay.

You want to fuck?

*

And... Scene

Best Actor 2006: My Ballot

There were six performances by lead actors this year that I would be thrilled to see on Oscar's shortlist. Obviously two of the six aren't coming anywhere near it: One for completely understandable reasons (Oscar just don't do weird sci-fi films) and one for reasons I have yet to fathom. Both play doctors in their films. I guess this isn't the Emmys because neither of them got any awards traction.

But this is my nominee list, not Oscars, not yours. Make your own in the comments.

The Very Last Awards Post. Ever.

kidding, obviously. Here's three pieces of awardage that I'm actually involved with.

FILM BITCH AWARDS Now in their 7th year. My own baby comes at you piecemeal. I know it seems like slowgoing but I do have a life ("of sorts," he said with a sigh) --more very soon.

CINEMARATI The Web Alliance For Film Commentary will begin their always fascinating Top 20 countdown this weekend. Each movie comes with a pro and a dissent --a ready made conversation/argument starter. I promise it's worth a look.

SOAP This is a newly formed organization (that's short for "Society for Online Awards Prognostication") spearheaded by Scott Feinberg of And The Winner Is... SOAP includes myself and 10 other Oscar analysts, some of whom you undoubtedly already read if you're an awards junkie. These nominees are based on personal ballots of the members i.e. our collective choices rather than predictions. The winners will be announced on February 21st. Here are the five nominees for the major categories (there are six if there were any ties):

Best Picture: Children of Men, The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Queen, United 93

Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men), Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth), Stephen Frears (The Queen), Paul Greengrass (United 93), Martin Scorsese (The Departed)

Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed), Aaron Eckhart (Thank You for Smoking), Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson), Peter O'Toole (Venus), Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland)

Best Actress: Penelope Cruz (Volver), Judi Dench (Notes on a Scandal), Helen Mirren (The Queen), Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada), Kate Winslet (Little Children)

Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls), Jack Nicholson (The Departed), Michael Sheen (The Queen)

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett (Notes on a Scandal), Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada), Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls), Rinko Kikuchi (Babel), Meryl Streep (A Prairie Home Companion)

Regarding the technical and special prizes, I'm horrified to see that my colleagues are enamored of Apocalypto (which received a too many tech nods) but otherwise there's some cool honors and I like that Children of Men did well. Check the full list out if you're interested.

Kazakhstan's Globe Celebration Cut Short

Though Borat took home prize at Monday's Golden Globe celebration, Kazakhstan is no longer a winner. Their entry into Oscar's foreign film competition "Nomads" failed to make the shortlist before the shortlist. Confused? Well, it goes like this. Oscar used to have large committees that watched the 50+ entries and then voted giving you your five Oscar nominees for Foreign Language Film. In the new system that committee merely narrows the field down with their ballots. And then another committee of but 20 people chooses from their finalists.

If I were a cynic I'd say: So representatives from France and the other countries presumably now know who to schmooze. It's easier to sway the opinion of 20 people who've watched 9 movies than hundreds who've watched 50. So let the best schmoozer win.

On the other hand: This gives the critical community more power. That's not always good (they're hardly infallible) but that would presumably prevent AMPAS embarrassments like the snubs for City of God, In the Mood For Love or Run Lola Run. A smaller committee looking at finalists will know: Hey, this movie is supposed to be a masterpiece.


Of the 61 original entries, one removed itself from contention early on (that'd be Finland) and 51 others were dismissed this week. So who did make the finals?

Hit foreign films Water (Canada), Volver (Spain), and Pan's Labyrinth (Mexico) made it to no one's shock and amazement. The raved Germany entry The Lives of Others also placed. The other finalists are Days of Glory (Algeria), After The Wedding (Denmark), Avenue Montaigne (France), Black Book(The Netherlands) and Vitus (Switzerland).


Good News:

• Volver still looks all set for a nom, despite not igniting in quite the way I hoped.
  
• Academy rules prevent Americans like Clint Eastwood and Mel Gibson from encouraging voter laziness and letting them just choose American films that happen to have subtitles entering the foreign category so this is the first foreign kudo list you'll see this year that doesn't include two American films: Apocalypto and Letters From Iwo Jima.
• 33% of these films are from female directors. That's a nice turn of events and a reminder to Hollywood that other countries don't have such a strange "no women allowed" policy on filmmaking.

Bad News:

• One of those female directors made Avenue Montaigne, the French entry which is just not very good at all.
  
• Certainly not as good as Curse of the Golden Flower which was the highest profile snub.
  
• Given their reputations, it's frustrating that we probably won't get to see the following films (Academy recognition helps distribution happen) any time soon: Australia's aboriginal myth Ten Canoes, Egypts controversial contemporary drama The Yacoubian Building, Iceland's Children, Korea's The King and the Clown and Romania's The Way I Spent the End of the World.

For more on this Oscar race, click the updated foreign film page.


Tags: foreign films, movies, Oscars, Academy Awards, cinema, Film, Borat, Finland, France, Germany,Kazakhstan, Pedro Almodovar

Pert Epidemic Hits Hollywood

Only the strong survive.




Reese Witherspoon remains impervious to all attacks ... and fashion viruses.

Tuesday Top Ten: Alexander(s) The Great

Tuesday Top Ten! ~a new weekly feature. For the listmaker in me and the list lover in you

Ten Alexanders You Should Love
10. Alexandre Despatie well he's not in the movies but he does win gold. Plus he looks like this...

so you know...

09. Jane Alexander. A solid four-time Oscar nominated actor. Last seen as Nicole Kidman's icy mother-in-law in Fur. When is she going to have a comeback?

08. Aleksandr Sokurov Because the Russian Ark is a neato cinematic trick. I regret to inform that I have not seen anything else he's done. Anyone care to make a 'first things first' viewing suggestion from his catalogue?

07. Lloyd Alexander His fantasy series The Chronicles of Prydain is great fun and quite wonderfully cinematic. Disney gave it a bad rep with their awful adaptation (The Black Cauldron) back in the 80s but given that lengthy fantasy adaptations are all the rage ... Hollywood execs: get on this one!

06. Alexandre Dumas He wrote The Three Musketeers and who doesn't love swashbuckling? Oh and Queen Margot. Merci --I love the 1994 movie version.

05. Alexander Graham Bell. I hate talking on the telephone. But I like having one. Thanks.

04. Alexandre Desplat. The best new film composer in the world. Two years ago he won a devoted small army of fans for scoring the haunting Nicole Kidman flick Birth. Yesterday he won his first Golden Globe for The Painted Veil. It's a truly lovely film score.

03. Alexander Payne He hasn't made a bad movie yet. Famous last words, I know, but Citizen Ruth, Election, About Schmidt and Sideways? That's a grade A filmography.

02. Alexander the Great (2008never) by Baz Luhrmann. This movie does not really exist but I love it anyway. Because I love Bazmark movies as a general rule... principle. calling (?)


01. "Xander" Harris Willow's best friend. Buffy's ever faithful righthand man. Anya's true love. Cordelia's boytoy. Because he was always something for everyone and never anything for himself. But mostly because he was hilariously clueless (Season 1), looked great in a speedo (Season 2), lost his cherry to Faith (season 3), fell hard for Anya (Season 4 & 5), saved the world (Season 6) and lost his eye in (Season 7). I love you Xander!


Previous Tuesday Top Tens (New Series):
Best 2006 Movies from The Departed (sure) to Marie Antoinette (you heard me)
Movies by The Three Amigos Best of Cuarón, González Iñárritu and Del Toro

Awards Linkage

I know you need a break. I know you're probably hung over from whatever sick drinking games you thought up while watching the Globes last night. But it's time to face facts: The Golden Globes are only the beginning of Awards Season. Yes what you've just witnessed, the bronzer, the unnatural cleavage, the platitudes from megastar mouths: it's only the beginning.

The only thing that's ended is "precursor season." Awards season is just getting started. The sooner that you accept this sorry fate the better off you'll be. Especially if you visit this blog.

an orgy of kudos
Slant's annual Oscar prediction / venting
popbytes with a Globe rundown (lots of yummy red carpet photos)
Everything Oscar top ten list for 06 ~ from Casino Royale to The Departed
In Which Our Hero top ten list for 06 ~ from Duck Season to United 93
Hollywood Elsewhere on the absent Peter O'Toole
Defamer "Where Have All The Gay Cowboys Gone?" the Golden Globes
Trading Faces Re: The Globes, Brangelina's 'false eyelashes of power' and more