Wednesday, May 25, 2005

"Celestia" Strikes Back

Do you ever wonder if Coley Lafoon sleeps well at night? I mean, presumably, this sometime cameraman and actor sleeps right next to two gorgeous women each night. Get your mind out of the gutter: Both of these women inhabit the same body, don't you know?!

Yes, lying there right next to him in the body of his gorgeously off wife, the actress Anne Heche (Happy Birthday girl!), is another being known only as "Celestia" who hails from the Fourth Dimension.

For those of you who cherish celebrity meltdowns (you know who you are!) Anne Heche's craziest days --roughly 1999 to late 2001-- have to rank in the utmost echelons of top star-fueled vicarious thrills for those of with normal lives. We watched as she plunged heartfirst into the world's most famous lesbian relationship, starred in lots of movies, broke up with her more famous girlfriend, wandered in the California desert unhinged, and did a Barbara Walters special and came out about her alter-ego, Celestia. Finally she documented it all in an autobiography called "Call Me Crazy."

Celestia's desert wanderings in the 2000 as she sought God and spaceships in Fresno (?) after splitting with Ellen DeGeneres are top tier classics of the celebrity meltdown genre. Anne Heche's escapades are way edgier than Angelina Jolie's pull quotes, way crazier than Hugh Grant's indiscretions, way more imaginative than Robert Downey Jr.s equally career-killing drug habit, and somehow less desperate and definitely sexier than Margot Kidder's sad headlining breakdown.

Now that Ellen DeGeneres, Heche's former love, is publicly besotted with another Ally McBeal alum (this time it's Portia deRossi who played "sub-zero Nell", currently on Arrested Development) might jealousy and regrets prompt another Celestia episode? Celeb watchers can only hope. This is not to wish Anne harm or continual employment to her therapist. But, truthfully, can you really ever move on after publishing tell-all biographies and speaking to God in your own invented language? These things probably stick with you.

More Celestia/Heche fun?
Revisit that famous Barbara Walters interview -click here.
For two funnier takes on the same thing, there's always Fame Tracker. Hee. And this.
Could you make it work with a crazy chick like Anne?
Anyone know if this TV pilot got picked up?
I'm not the only one who loved the Celestia episode, don't you know...
All that said. Anne is totally hot --I mean, can you really blame Ellen for putting up with her?
She's also a terrific actress.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kudos to you for paying homage to one of our best (or, at the very least, more interesting) actors working today.

I have been a fan of Miss Heche ever since she rocked "Another World" as the good girl/bad girl twin dynamos, Vicky and Marley (in retrospect, not much of a stretch).

I get a lot of grief from "family" who dismiss Miss Heche as a crazy, opportunist bimbo (a la Heather Graham's character in "Bowfinger") but even in drivel like "Six Days, Seven Nights," it's hard to resist her charm -- she shines!

Thank you for giving a shout-out to a true talent on her birthday, even if it was only tongue-in-cheek.

Regards,

Marco

P.S. Just wondering, did you ever catch her on stage in "Twentieth Century" last year? If so, what did you think of her performance?

P.P.S. It appears the WB didn't pick up her TV show, "True," for the fall season. Perhaps as a mid-season replacement?

Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right; a phenomenal screen talent. Would love to see her and all of her alter-egos sitting in an auditorium sometime to pick up an Academy Award.

Let's hope Hilary Swank isn't there at the same time.

(FYI: I'm trying to get over it, and every day that passes it gets a little easier... but no, it's still THERE!)

Rob

Nick Davis said...

In the poker game of Anne Heche adoration, I will see everyone's bets and raise you, insofar as I actually read Call Me Crazy. Great actresses run deep, and the book might be aptly named, but I have to say that I've always found Anne to be pretty honest. Whatever else is true about her and those gaga portions of her life, I really don't believe she ever lies.

Walking and Talking, meanwhile, is inexhaustibly great.

darkcypherlad said...

Here are my thoughts:

-Anne Heche...eh. I always thought she was too blonde and too skinny. The whole Celestia thing was hilarious though. Sometimes being too honest can be a very dumb move career wise. I mean, how low can you go when the WB doesn't pick up your pilot?

-"Walking and Talking" is a great "little" film. That's when I first noticed Catherine Keener and Liev Schrieber. I liked "Lovely and Amazing" too.

Anonymous said...

I sorta love Anne Heche, she's just such a unique and interesting person. And I really love her style of acting (similar to one of my favourite gals, Chloe Sevigny). I think she's great in even stuff that nobody likes. I thought she was the best thing about the Psycho remake (which I admittedly sorta like - Psycho is great for a reason and a lot of it is still there in the remake!)

And I'm sorta glad you're talking about Anne because I just saw this absolutely fuckin fantastic movie entitled... Birth! It was just released here and I finally got to see it and I was simply blown away. I... I... I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Just brilliant. Anne was great as always, too.

Now, I wanted to ask you, what were the three scenes that you felt were memorable? You wrote in your mini-review that there were 3 and I'm trying to figure out which. Obviously the Opera scene, but what others? The birthday party? The scene between Sean and Clara (Anne Heche - a definite for me)...?

I also saw "2046" and I feel bad for it because it was extremely excellent (A-) but I saw Birth 20 minutes later and that sort of overtook my thoughts. It's still sumptuous, elegant, intimate and beautiful. Tony, Zhang Ziyi and Gong Li are great, and that cinematography is breathtaking! Kar-Wai really knows how to direct, doesn't he?!

-Glenn

Nick Davis said...

There you are doing your behind us/ahead of us thing again, Glenn... Birth opened here in November, but we won't get 2046 for months. Jealousy goes both ways!

I loved Birth and thought it got totally short-changed, so it makes me happy when anyone else liked it. For my own 2 cents, if I had to isolate three scenes, I'd pick the opera, the kid/fiancé showdown (with piano + spanking), and Anna's totally lost and desperate speech to win her fiancé back. (But then, I also loved that oblique opening with Clara, the first interview with Sean and his parents on the way to the opera, and the wedding on the beach.)

Anonymous said...

I know! The whole ahead/behind thing is an ever-growing trend for me because it's so frustrating. Did you know we got Star Wars, like, a WHOLE 12 hours before the US. I... couldn't contain my excitement (*groan*)

And for me if I had to isolate 3 Birth scenes it would The Opera, the confrontation between Sean and Clara, and a toss-up between the opening engagement party and Clara in the foyer/park and the wedding and beach scene at the very end.

The opening jogging sequence was also a delight.

And, yeah, 2046 was great. I read August 8 for you guys...

-Glenn

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