Saturday, July 03, 2010

Halfway Mark: Screen Hotties of 2010

I blame the heat and nothing good in theaters but for the holdovers from previous weeks (go see Winter's Bone, I Am Love, Toy Story 3 and I Am Love if you haven't. Uh... I Am Love you're required to see twice, apparently -- Freudian typo!) for this week's Towleroad article. After assessing the Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man announcement I obsess over the Year in Screen Hotties (thus far).

Since Towleroad is all about the Gay the list is men but since I'm an actressexual and since all the best people are at least bi-curious when it comes to the movies, you know I can't ignore the silver screen sirens. I haven't seen all of these movie but here's an incomplete overview of the year thus far.

The Girlie Show

Jan: Portia Doubleday torments Michael Cera (both of him) in Youth in Revolt. Kristen Bell can't pick a man in When in Rome. Can't pick screenplays either. Niche hotness, GMILF Edition: Helen Mirren wants her man crowing like a cock in The Last Station.

Feb: Amanda Seyfried, Our Lady of Annually Increasing Beauty, stars in Dear John. The Wolfman follows Emily Blunt's scent no matter the consequence; Who wouldn't? Uma Thurman turns men, not just man parts, to stone as Medusa in Percy Jackson.

Mar: Double Team Alert! Amanda Seyfried rocks Julianne Moore's world in more ways than one in Chloe. Plus, Dakota Fanning unleashes her scandalous Cherry Bomb whilst Kristen Stewart works a Bad Reputation in The Runaways. Niche hotness, Macrophile/Microphile division: Mia Wasikowska can't pick a dress size in Alice in Wonderland.

April: Erika Alexander is a boho honey in La Mission. Zoë Saldana holds a hot piece in The Losers. Niche hotness, Gothic division: Christina Ricci gets yet paler (c'est possible?!?) as a perpetually nude corpse in After.Life.

May: Ari Graynor's tongue brings ecstasy, albeit in pill form, to Holy Rollers. Scarlett Johansson wears ringlets and leather for Iron Man 2 and may or may not have speaking lines though no one can recall. Naomie Harris handles the first part of sex & drugs & rock and roll with her usual style. Love the 'fro in that first scene. Niche hotness, The Alex Forrest "I'm Not Going to Be Ignored" New Generations Award to Naomi "seduce & destroy" Watts in Mother and Child.

June: Colin Farrell's little mermaid is full grown Polish beauty Alicja Bachleda in Ondine. Please note how many reviews of Winter's Bone describe Jennifer Lawrence's long tresses and full lips in as much loving detail as her performance, even though the movie is about as far from "sexy" as a movie can be. Marisa Tomei is still working the 'dream girl for losers' track in Cyrus. Can you blame the losers? Tilda Swinton is a prized pale gold Russian collectible in I Am Love. Cameron Diaz in primary colors, yellow bridesmaid, red bikini for Knight and Day. Gina Gershon is a whore! (not a dancer) in Love Ranch... the less said about the rest of the movie, the better.

Which actors and actresses grabbed your eyeballs this year?
It doesn't have to be for, uh, performance reasons.


Robert said...

I think I gotta go with Tilda. Between I Am Love and the recent video of her leading a flashmob in tribute to Laurel and Hardy I'm finding her increasingly sexy.

Also I feel somehow that meets both my heterosexual and bi-curious needs.

James T said...

It's really not fair to put Fassbender and Julianne in there! Have pitty on everyone else :p

And please, someone give an agressively sexual role to Blunt!


James T -- you mean besides MY SUMMER OF LOVE and that cameo in CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR?

Robert -- haha... so true. Tilda covers all bases.

James T said...

I had forgotten about Charlie Wilson's War and I haven't seen the other one but yes, besides those :p

I'm afraid period films will devour her.

Chad said...

Erika Alexander hasn't aged a day since Living Single.

jbaker475 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jbaker475 said...

Flavio Parenti (Edoardo in I am Love) for the win. He was much more worthy of having an affair with (y'know, aside from that whole being Emma's son thing...) than the chef.

vg21 said...

I love this post :)! I would go with Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore and Emily Blunt. They are all of very different type and age, but they look incredible! I cannot stop being amazed by their radiating beauty, I wish I knew the recipe for that.
Oh, and I must add Saorsie Ronan's otherworldly eyes in The Lovely Bones (and everywhere else :), e.g. in I Could Never Be Your Woman, which I saw just yesterday. Her eyes are like glacier ponds).

Jorge Rodrigues said...

Tilda was ravishing indeed in I AM LOVE. The long hair really suited her well. And she oozed sexy from all her pores.

But for me, I'm an Amanda Seyfried man through and through. She's got the chops + she sings + she's a total beauty + one can never grow tired of looking at her (translation: unlike other blondes, she's not dull) + she's HOT.

And I have a feeling if I met her or Saoirse Ronan, I wouldn't rest until I married her. You're right vg21... Those eyes... That smile... Bring me this kind of warmth you just want to cozy up to.

cinephile said...

Have you seen Chloe? Because I can't find it in the review section...


i haven't seen Chloe yet no. which has to be the weirdest omission ever for me. UGH. it didn't stay long... or i was working too many hours. I'm not sure what quite happened. awaiting on the DVD release now.

Neena said...

Posting very late here…but Oscar Isaac (King John in Robin Hood) caught my eye.

Excellent performance (he practically stole the movie) and very nice eye candy…

Unfortunately married...oh well

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