Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Next Time Won't You Sing With Me

I started a personal life breather a couple of days ago that will probably continue for most of this week. After which, on Sunday February 20th the site will have daily Countdown to Oscar updates all the way until Hollywood's High Holy Day comes and goes a week later. At which point we will have the annual wrap up, the early bird predictions for next year (which are maddeningly difficult to do but funfor some speculative obsessive compulsive reasons that I don't wish to explore) --you know the drill, general Film Bitch ballyhoo from 02/19 to 03/04.

Until then I leave you with a very random list.
The Alphabet of Movie Folk.
(wherein I list the first person that comes to mind for each letter of the alphabet and what I wish for them to get in 2005)

A AUDIENCE. a great AND popular movie that doesn't fit into Oscar-bait genres (like costume drama, war, biopic) but gets nominated anyway next year...
B BAY, MICHAEL. a happy retirement commencing immediately following The Island starring Ewan MacGregor and Scarlett Johansson.
C CONNIE NIELSEN. a big international audience for her lovely work in the Danish family/war drama Brothers...and for people to rent demonlover in which she is also worthy of high praise.
D DOVER KOSASHVILLI. For his follow ups to Late Marriage to get automatic and prompt US releases. I need to see more.
E EDNA MOLE. No sequels to The Incredibles if Pixar and Disney split and Disney gets rights to all the characters.
F FERRETTI, DANTE. The Oscar ...finally after umpteen nominations for his majestic production design.
G GRAVES, RUPERT. A torrid love affair with...me (while dressed as Freddie from A Room With the View)
H HAYNES, TODD. An idea as brilliant as Far From Heaven...with a start date and top notch cast and crew in place.
I IAN MCKELLEN. Continued good health. May he live to be 100+! And another Oscar nomination. And more arm candy to take with him to the awards shows.
J JULIETTE LEWIS. A major comeback.
K KIRSTEN DUNST. sudden recognition of what a consistently fine actor she is and how much better she is than most of her peers.
L (Two names. I cheat!) LINUS ROACHE. New movie roles as good as he had in Priest and Wings of the Dove way back when. LINDSAY LOHAN. To find inner peace and balance and the discipline to concentrate on her acting talent only.
M MOORE, JULIANNE. Whatever she may desire...
N (Two names. I cheat again!) NICK PARK. For Wallace and Gromit's movie to be classic stuff and hugely successful and come out on time. And NICOLE KIDMAN. A much deserved two year hiatus so as to rejuvenate.
O OSCAR. A new producer that values his rich history and doesn't want to change something that isn't broke (like letting brilliant artists getting to give acceptance speeches for their great work in the non-acting arenas. having film clips of all the acting performances. and the songs performed by someone involved with the song from the actual movie)
P PFEIFFER, MICHELLE. The sudden desire to act regularly and with great directors to achieve a total career renaissance that will cement her place in the movie pantheon once and for all.
Q QUEEN LATIFAH. Another role as fun as "Mama Morton"
R RALPH FIENNES. Complete recovery from Maid in Manhattan. Mass remembrance of what a great actor he is.
S SWANK, HILARY. Lots of consolation phone calls for losing the Oscar on Feb 27th.
T TONY LEUNG. A torrid love affair with... me.
U UMA THURMAN. To make the Ulla role magical and hilarious in The Producers movie.
V VIOLA DAVIS. A great lead screen role to follow up her 2002 supporting role triumphs in Antwone Fisher, Solaris, and Far From Heaven.
W WOOD, EVAN RACHEL. To not get typecast after thirteen and pretty persuasion. I worry.
X XAVIER, CHARLES. To be played, again, by Patrick Stewart and before the end of the year with a great script, great cast, and great director attached.
Y YOU. Keep loving the cinema. And keep visiting the site.
Z ZADAN, CRAIG. Imitation for flattery! May more producers toil to bring great musicals to the screen like he did with Chicago.


Anonymous said...

E-Eeek! If only there was some hope they would leave a sucessful movie alone.
I-Oh yes. There really is too little good male arm candy at awards shows.
N-Somebody should contact whichever Ministry of Magic issued her the Time-Turner and urge them to demand it back before her reputation is completely ruined.
O-Here's hoping the current firestorm with Rock just gets worse until it turns into a permanent mark on Cates's record and he doesn't get hired to produce anymore Oscar shows.
X-Amen to that, but I'm afraid we have to wait another year.
Y-Thanks, will do!


Anonymous said...

I feel stupid to ask this, but I'm from a foreign country, can someone explain what "male arm candy" means? :|
Sorry for the question and my english ;D

Gustavo H.R. said...

Swank is going to win that Oscar.


"arm candy" is a typical description of the female bimbos that sometimes accompany older movie stars to awards but have no clear reason (other than their looks) for being there ...i.e. they aren't married, aren't famous, and are usually young enough to be their dates daughter.

Ian McKellen is the only famous male nominee that's ever shown up with a younger pretty man as his date (March 2002) --hence 'male arm candy'.

Anonymous said...

"Swank is going to win that Oscar."

God, I hope not.

adam k. said...

Swank will win the oscar. I stand by my assertion that Bening, Staunton and Winslet will split the non-Swank votes too much for any of them to triumph. Swank may not get a majority of the votes, but she'll still win.

Anonymous said...

By the way, Nathaniel... I take my precious time to thank your for using my precious time. You are a really funny writer. You should write novel...

getstupid said...

like the blog.

Like "L" couldn't have said it better myself, like "w"<---which is how i found the page by a random google.

im lacking on words,
so i'm going to stop writting,

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