Emmy Live-Blog 2010

Refresh your screen often for updates.

6:30 So Kevin McHale of Glee was very nearly the first person "E!" has talked to that I remotely cared about. He's wearing a yellow bowtie -- I almost typed yellow boytoy -- Weird. I blame Madonna.

Glee Boys.

Kevin named Sally Field as his celebrity crush (!) and Brothers & Sisters as his favorite show. I hope he was conveniently forgetting this past season because it blew.

Moments before Ryan Seacrest was actually wishing Emmys on the Jersey Shore cast. I am so embarrassed for everyone. E! should have rechristened themselves S! for Shameless or Stoopid long long ago. But at least they changed their red carpet people and got rid of the silver haired pancaked makeup person.

6:40 Claire Danes looking gorgeous with relaxed hair and shimmery gown. A Truth: I sometimes wonder what Angela Chase would think of Claire Danes. It's not that I get fantasy and reality confused so much as I just tend to prefer fantasy. Danes claims the only critic she worried about for this movie was Temple Grandin herself. Danes always strikes me as so fragile with all the tics and flinching that I imagine that bad reviews ACTUALLY hurt her, like cause blistering or some such.

6:45 Eva Longoria. That rumor she was going to play the Wasp in The Avengers was one of the darkest moments of my summer.

6:50 Jon Hamm (Mad Men) named Tatum O'Neal as his first celebrity crush because of Bad News Bears. That's so cute. She was one of mine, too. Only it was because of Little Darlings which scandalized me as a kid. Scandalized! But there's definitely a connection between being scandalized by someone and crushing on them, don't you think?

7:00 Ryan Murphy is wearing a blue tux and blue sunglasses. And he actually seems a little blue (mood not porny). Maybe he's less excitable in real life than he as a TV god. Because Nip/Tuck and Glee are nothing if not excitable.

7:01 January Jones is going to play Emma Frost "The White Queen" in X-Men: First Class which I think is kind of a brilliant casting decision. I understand the internet thinks otherwise but the internet is craycray


7:03 I'm not kidding you that this is what the E! cameramen did intermittently throughout Christina Hendrick's interview. Again: S!

or maybe E! is correct: E! for Exploitative. P.S. I love those Mad Men barbie dolls. I don't have Joan though. Just the Drapers.

7:12 Bill & Sookie (Anna Paquin) are now married. It's true. And yet they still have to answer constants nudity and sex questions on the red carpet. They're talking about their Rolling Stone photoshoot and how they covered each other's bit. One of the weird annual joys of awards season is watching Bill (I forgot his name. Deal) get embarrassed while talking about the sex scenes and use hand motions to describe body parts. Last year he used his hands, cupped, to demonstrate his butt pumping technique on the show. I kid you not.

Classy! But True Blood is A grade B trash and that's why we love it.

7:34 I'm so bored right now. I was all excited for about 41 minutes. But there are too many TV stars I don't care about. Like Juliana Marguiles. I have this fear that The Middlebrow Wife is going to win lots of awards tonight. It seems so Emmys.

7:52 Julie Bowen just said that her favorite shows on television are 30 Rock which she deemed an "old school" choice (... um, it's only been on for like four years. It's not like Law & F'in Order) and Project Runway her guilty pleasure. Meanwhile the reporter appeared to be headed to Las Vegas right after the show. A cut-out at your waist?

7:59 Billy Bush is TERRIBLE at his job. He really is. He's like "The Emmys" like that's as interesting as a message from their sponsors.

8:03 Opening skit. Glee themed. Gee, I wonder who will win tonight. Was that really Jon Hamm's voice just now? It's fun to see Dr Drew reunited with Liz Lemon but otherwise that number was atrocious. There were lots of pauses for laughter with no laugh track and (presumably) no one laughing. NEXT DAY NOTE: I'm reading around that net that people mostly loved this opening. Hmmm. The dangers of live blogging and divided attention?

8:10 Supporting Actor Chris Colfer, Glee | Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother | Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family | Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family | Ty Burrell, Modern Family | Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men And the winner is Eric Stonestreet. Yay!

Reaction shots!

So the straight man playing the gay man in the gayest category ever won. But he is truly hilarious on that show. "I ate the sun!"

8:20 txtcritic explaining The Bing Bang Theory to my clueless BFF "it's about three nerds that live together." That sounds unmissable! Modern Family takes another award for Best Writing in Comedy. Well deserved.

8:26 Supporting Actress Julia Bowen, Modern Family | Sofía Vergara, Modern Family | Jane Lynch, Glee | Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live | Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock | Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men And the winner is... JANE LYNCH as expected.

Thanks the cast, her agent, "my lord and creator Ryan Murphy"
(ha!) her wife. and then a "God Bless"

She's so talented but I feel a bit bad for Krakowski who had her best season ever I think. Is she having a "rage stroke" right now?

8:35 Ryan Murphy wins Best Comedy Director Glee. He says the show is about the value of arts education. My friend (who watches Glee every week) "That sounds so interesting. I'd love to watch that show. What show is he talking about?" Ha! Something tells me that Glee has peaked. Even fans are mocking it tonight.




I should note that somewhere in there was a skit with the Modern Family cast that actually had a good 3D joke featuring Sofia Vergara's boobs. I feel certain that the entire camera crew of E! television guffawed.

8:40 Comedy Actor Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory | Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm | Matthew Morrison, Glee | Tony Shalhoub, Monk | Steve Carell, The Office | Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock And the winner is... Jim Parsons.

8:45 Comedy Actress Lea Michele, Glee | Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine | Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie | Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreations | Tina Fey, 30 Rock | Toni Collette, The United States of Tara And the winner is... Edie Falco.


In her acceptance speech she says "I'm not funny." Ha. Well, that's true. But your supporting cast sure is. And Edie is marvelous on that show, don't you think? And even better: very little like her Sopranos self. That's range.

8:51 Top Chef wins Best Reality Series. I had no idea that Padme was this divisive but my friends all started arguing about her. There was only pure hate and big love. Nothing inbetween. Weird.

8:55 They keep showing Oprah commercials. We're laughing because we've decided that "Steadman" is the best fake boyfriend name since "George Glass."

9:00 Chris Meloni. I just had to turn the air conditioner back on.

9:02 Best Writing Drama for Mad Men. This is the lamest live blog ever. I apologize. The Emmys are somehow sucking the life out of me. Maybe it's because the awards have not been embarrassing. And the acceptance speeches have been very standard so far. And the hosting not inspired. So... uh... APOLOGIES.

9:04 Supporting Actor Nominees Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad | Martin Short, Damages | Terry O'Quinn, Lost | Michael Emerson, Lost | John Slattery, Mad Men | Andre Braugher, Men of a Certain Age And the winner is...Aaron Paul. I guess I need to watch this show. Aaron Paul looks like the tiniest person alive. A pocket Emmy winner.

9:10 Supporting Actress Nominees Sharon Gless, Burn Notice | Rose Byrne, Damages | Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife | Christine Baranski, The Good Wife | Christina Hendricks, Mad Men | Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men And the winner is...Archie Panjabi. I like her but it's not OK that Christina Hendricks lost when she doesn't even get nominated for each season. But Mad Men doesn't have much luck winning acting prizes, does it.

9:15 Lead Actor Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad | Michael C Hall, Dexter | Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights | Hugh Laurie, House | Matthew Fox, Lost | Jon Hamm, Mad Men And the winner is Bryan Cranston for the third time. Poor everyone else. This is actually why I've never been into the Emmys. It's like making your bed in the morning. There's always deja vu.

Beautiful gracious speech from Cranston, though. If there's a takeaway from the evening it's that we're all supposed to be watching Breaking Bad. I feel left out.

9:24 Jimmy Fallon just isn't funny. I think that's the problem. He's doing a musical In Memoriam to shows that went off the air. The lyrics were mildly amusing for the 24 spot. But otherwise I'm lost. And he's doing Lost "I didn't understand it, but I tried."

9:25 My best friend on Glee "If Glee loses, it will follow the storyline of the show. And thus, will only serve the show." Hee.

9:30 I forgot to mention that Dexter won Direction of a Drama. I feel like I am seran wrapped to a table right now and the Academy of Television is a serial killer ready to do me in. I'm so over this.

9:34 Lead Actress January Jones, Mad Men; Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights; Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer; Glenn Close, Damages; Juliana Marguiles, The Good Wife; Mariska Hargitay; Law & Order: Special Victims Unit And the winner is... Kyra Sedgwick

This will not help to free me up from the seran wrap.

I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on, yeah take it!
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. (break a..)

9:36 I swear Jimmy Fallon is hosting this show from his basement. It's so 12 year old boy "funny" rather than funny.

9:40 The Tonys just won something. My friend thinks that awards shows should be ineligible to win prizes at other awards shows. Listen, I love Broadway but seeing a Broadway show will not change your life. And as my friend Ed says "It'll change your bank account."

9:53 Ricky Gervais is SO funny. "Bucky Gunts" for the win.

9:55 I may actually expire before this show is over.

10:08 Julia Ormond just won Supporting Actress for a TV Movie Temple Grandin. They spelled her name wrong "Julia Ormand" and then she couldn't remember Catherine O'Hara's last name? A joke? I'm very confused right now. Earlier today I forgot the word to "balcony" I am terrified that I have Aphasia. Or at least I am terrified that awards shows have it.

10:16 Temple Grandin won another. Is that about a disease? I shouldn't joke about Aphasia. But I really did forget the word for balcony earlier. WTF?

10:17 Jewel is doing In Memoriam? But without an intro. I remember HER but I can't remember "balcony"

10:20 These In Memoriams are always so sad. Sniffle.

10:23 We're now eating Iceland skyr... it's a little mealy or chalky or something. Do not like. Sorry Iceland.

10:24 I have lost the thread.

10:26 Some time ago George Clooney won a humanitarian prize. He really is a great person. But my apartment -- I have a couple friends over -- we're now experimenting with cuisine and discussing the Scissor Sisters. I tried!


Look how A-MAZ-ING this photo is that my BFF took? The light is emanating from Jake Shears chest. It's not the first time. Light is also absorbed there. The light in my eyeballs.

10:30 Oh all right. If I must. Back to the Emmys.

Lead Actress Nominees Joan Allen, Georgia O'Keefe | Judi Dench, Return to Cranford | Maggie Smith, Capturing Mary | Claire Danes, Temple Grandin | Hope Davis, That Special Relationship And the winner is... Claire Danes.


Her acceptance speech was fun. I would quote it for you now but I lost the thread. I'll have to backtrack. But she was cute and, it's like, something Angela Chase would've said if she'd become, like, a tv star. For reals.

10:38 Lead Actor Nominees Jeff Bridges, A Dog Year | Ian McKellen, The Prisoner | Al Pacino, You Don't Know Jack | Dennis Quaid, That Special Relationship | Michael Sheen, That Special Relationship And the winner is... Al Pacino. I hate his hair so much.

BTW Latisse is probably loving how many opportunities Claire Danes has had to blink and coo at the camera tonight. Those lashes sure are lovely!

10:40 Yes, please wrap it up Pacino.

10:41 OMG. He is STILL talking? They would drown anyone else out with orchestra music.

Except maybe Betty White.

10:42 I am beyond TIME. I am now going to share a screencap that happened before Al Pacino won. Because I cannot be contained by time or by my own time stamping. F*** you 10:42 I am 10:36 or something. Take it. You'll take it and you'll like it.


MmmmmSkarsgård.

10:46 I feel like if you add up all the times Tom Hanks has been on awards stages accepting prizes -- best miniseries -- you would equal my life. Or at least up until say high school graduation. He's logged years up there is what I'm saying.

10:50 So Claire Danes was just called "bottomlessly talented" does this mean her bottom is without talent? She'll always have her eyelashes.

LAST TWO AWARDS. YEEHAW.

Defending New York City champs 30Rock and Mad Men, both of which have won for every season aired (thus far), defend their titles. Will they repeat for their 4th and 3rd respective seasons? We'll find out in seconds.

Drama Breaking Bad | Dexter | The Good Wife | Lost | Mad Men | True Blood And the winner is... MAD MEN. Yes! Best show on TV. You know my feelings about it. January Jones is wearing a dress made of a blue chinese new year dragon. Shell breasts. How cute was that little exchanged look between the Drapers on stage?

Comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm | Glee | Modern Family | Nurse Jackie | The Office | 30 Rock
And the winner is...[nailbiter] Modern Family! Great great show. Yay. Deserved. So consistent and so beautifully executed and just, well, funny. And the award is called "Best Comedy"

10:59 Okay wow. So the awards went to fairly deserving things but Jimmy Fallon was terrible. I'm out.

The clear winner of the night is... (I think we all know).... Claire Danes. How soon does HBO offer her her own series?

11:54 OK. I really must sleep now but I just wanted to remind Sofía Vergara of her commitments.



The End.
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The Freshlink 15

<--- USA Today Zoinks. It's the first official pics of Natalie Portman in Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan. ♥
Journalistic Skepticism Luke reviews the entire 1990s in Best Actress. I'd do this myself if I didn't have 141 other ongoing movie projects to worry about. I'm overscheduled, I am. [Sigh]
The Big Picture M. Night Shyamalan thinks that the cynical view of his career (that his movies are getting worse and worse) will be "eradicated" by history. Even more alarming: he says he would kill himself if he thought his movies were getting worse. Oh M. Night. Self awareness and self critique is necessary to growth as an artist. If you think you're incapable of bad work, you're bound to do bad work.
Some Came Running Ellen Page is an early riser.
Towleroad I'm incredibly disappointed in writer/director Don Roos (The Opposite of Sex, Happy Endings) and his comments on gay actors playing straight "distracting." He wins some points by using straights playing gays as his prime examples of this off-sexuality distraction (I mean, if you're going to be stupid about what acting is, be stupid in both directions! Thanks) but his own words are so hypocritical since he always has gay characters in his movies and always hires straight actors to play them. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and the gay community is certainly proof of that in the movie business.
Lazy Circle on The Atlantic's piece on celebrity scandal, tougher on women (like Lindsay Lohan) than men (Mel Gibson). I can't get behind any piece (The Atlantic's) that calls Elizabeth Taylor a joke, though. La Liz is legendary. Those who laugh at her have very little understanding of her epic wing in Hollywood's mansion.
I Need My Fix shares a Goop item, a heartfelt piece from Bryce Dallas Howard on post-partum depression
Serious Film Come back Charlie Kauffman


off cinema
I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing on event television and a real life event. A must read.
Playbill Barack Obama's tribute to Broadway. Love the Mel Brooks quote that musicals "blow the dust off your soul."
Backstage|Blogstage Maybe the all things Mad Men fever has finally jumped the shark... or at least driven over someone's foot with a lawnmower. Of of my favorite recurring bit players has posed for Playboy recreating old 60s pinups.
Movie|Line Have you been reading the Emmy Spotlight here? It's fun. I had totally forgotten about that Gossip Girl themed 30 Rock episode. When I die I want to leave something in my will for Jane Krakowski because she's given me so much raucous laughter in my life.

daily Inception freakout
EW's Owen Gleiberman says he doesn't "get" Inception. And then proceeds to describe it in thorough detail indicating that he totally got it but just didn't like it very much. Yet his constant "I didn't get it" apologetic refrains invite everyone -- sometimes literally -- to disregard his points. Who does Owen Gleiberman think he is? A Democratic politician. Find your backbone!
FourFour Rich (who hated the movie) has a conversation with a friend (who loved it). It's all very interesting but even Rich, who is totz brilliant, falls for the "didn't get it" hedging, before saying lots of smart things indicating that he got it.


I still sorta like the movie (I initially gave it a B and this intermittently glowing review) but the things I did dislike about it such as the entire character of Ariadne (Ellen Page), the literal mindedness of a dream movie, and the direction/editing of some of the action sequences keep bothering me and the things I liked about it (the 'man as builder' vertical aesthetic, the team dynamic, the zero gravity bits, the f/x, the Tom Hardy) aren't totally compensating.

My point is this: I'm glad that someone made a movie that is inspiring this much discussion but I will yet be driven mad by the dynamic of weird hyperbole vs. embarassed apologies embedded in seemingly all Inception conversations. I am sending Nolan my next therapy bill.

Finally
Have you tried this "35 Movies in 2 Minutes" short? It's whimsic-hypnotic but I have to admit I didn't even get half of them on the first run through. Try it.

35mm from Pascal Monaco on Vimeo.

Emmy Nominations Tomorrow

I just remembered that the Emmy Nominations are nearly upon us. I try not to think about them too much because I am always sorely disappointed.

Lost Causes I'm Rooting For: Anything Friday Night Lights -- yegods that show is brillz but particularly Connie Britton and Zach Gilford. Plus Enver Gjokaj for season 2 of Dollhouse. It seems like that was cancelled a hundred years ago but it only ended this past January. He was quite awesome/rangey as Victor even doing impersonations that were on par with several Oscar winning mimicry efforts. Because he was doing excellent work in the genre of sci-fi though, nobody noticed. He has only done 1 (just 1!!!) guest spot job since Dollhouse's cancellation. I am normally not this cocky about things I've never done but I swear to god they need to fire that entire town's casting departments and just replace them with me because they are CONSTANTLY ignoring people who've already proven their worth. That's like burning money!

Nail Biter: All three principle Mad Men women (and a few of the guest stars too) and 30 Rock's Jane Krakowski. The shows are popular with Emmy, the actors less so. But so much deserve.

Shows That Will Do Well That I Like: The United States of Tara, Modern Family, Nurse Jackie, Mad Men and Glee will obviously be there but in what numbers? I cracked myself up reading my review of the Glee pilot this morning. I was worried that they wouldn't let Matthew Morrison sing?!? Hee. I also said the show had a light touch. Wow, that turned out wrong. I love the show but boy did they abandon that light touch for full throttle AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME!!! belting in record time.

UPDATE: the nominations have arrived.
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The Hurt, Precious, Inglourious, Crazy, Complicated, Blind, Single, Serious, Up-in-the-Air 2010 SAG Awards Liveblog!

txt critic liveblogs SAG

Greetings all. I've just returned from my shitty movie day with my Quizno's, Tasti Delite and Orville Redenbacher in tow, ready and super-pumped for this evening's festivities. Feel free to chime in with any thoughts along the way!

6:17 EST: Revelation from Giuliana Rancic: "Guys, when TV stars and movie stars mix, anything can -- and usually does -- happen."

6:31 EST: She just suggested to Ed Helms that Susan Boyle appear in the "Hangover" sequel.

6:32 EST: Tracy Morgan: "Morgan Freeman could be my daddy."

6:35 EST: Ross the Intern just asked Carey Mulligan "Where is Shia LaBeauof tonight?" and she looked flustered and said "I don't know" (i.e.: "You're not allowed to talk about that"). Awkwaaaaaard.

6:50 EST: Questions are being asked about what Ryan Seacrest does in steamrooms.

6:57 EST: Apparently, the first award of the evening -- for Best Stunt Ensemble -- has been given to "Star Trek."

6:58 EST: Tina Fey just confronted Giuliana with "Are you one of the ones who took a big steaming crap on me last week?" Effing Awesome. For the record, I don't care what anyone says, I LOVED that dress.

7:08 EST: You know you're stoned when you see a commercial for "Valentine's Day" and think for the first time: "Hm, maybe that won't be so bad."

7:12 EST: Me still no likey Jon Hamm + beard

7:19 EST: Whoa, Meryl Streep is wearing a beautifully ugly dress. LOVE it.

7:25 EST: "An Education" seems to be buying a lot of TV spots for this E! pre-show. I know a lot of people who love it. I am not one of them.

7:39 EST: Is it wrong that I completely forgot about the TV awards? I totally associate the SAG awards with movies.

7:47 EST: Gabby Sidibe appears to be WILDLY drunk, and confirms her place as my favorite person at these awards. She just confessed that she's never watched the SAG awards.

7:55 EST: Holy hell. Why do I still get surprised when Helen Mirren shows up somewhere looking sexy as shit?

7:59 EST: Adam Lambert, diva that he is, is the last guest to show up before the awards start. Wait, why is he here?

8:04 EST: Jeremy Irons is wearing sunglasses indoors. Hrm, his pretentiousness is offset by his yellow-and-red bow tie.

8:07 EST: Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. Me say it's Baldwin, though him, Steve Carell and Larry David are all consistently great. I've never seen "Monk" or "Two and a Half Men," so I can't speak for Shalhoub or Sheen. And it's... Baldwin.

8:09 EST: Fuck, Christoph Waltz is handsome.

8:13 EST: Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. I've not seen "Samantha Who" or "The New Adventures of Old Christine." Noticing a theme? I don't really watch CBS except for Letterman. This will probably be Toni Collette. I'd be happy with Falco, Collette or Fey. Whoa, it's Tina Fey for "30 Rock"! Apparently, her 25th win from them.

8:14 EST: "I just want to take a moment to say to everyone at NBC... that we are very happy with everything. And happy to be there." So funny.

8:21 EST: There is currently a clip reel devoted to honoring/commemorating... Comedy. WTF? And set to the wackiest generic music you can imagine. I hate this.

8:23 EST: Man, Ray Romano just made a Kevin Bacon / Jon Hamm joke. Blech.

8:26 EST: Ensemble in Comedy Series. Even though I can't stop watching it, "Glee" consistently infuriates me. As great as the cast of "The Office" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" are, this should really go to "30 Rock" or "Modern Family," currently my two favorite shows on TV. I'm sure it will be "30 Rock." And it's.... "Glee"?!?! Christ! Okay, I guess none of my issues with the show have to do with the cast, but still! Eh, as long as Jane Lynch gets an award, I can't complain that hugely.

8:28 EST: Gabby and Mo'Nique present a clip from "Precious" while holding hands. Me likey.

8:29 EST: Helen Mirren is presenting BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: James Gandolfini ("Where the Wild Things Are"), Peter Capaldi ("In the Loop"), Garrett Dillahunt ("The Last House on the Left"), Robert Duvall ("The Road"), Saul Rubinek ("Julia")

ChrIstoph Waltz will probably win this, and he deserves to, but I wouldn't be angry with Woody Harrelson. Christopher Plummer is a threat to win simply because he's old, but the performance really isn't deserving. Damon is fine in "Invictus," but basically just has to shout things in a huddle.

I happen to adore Stanley Tucci, but I seem to be one of the rare few who thinks he's AWFUL in "The Lovely Bones" (though I don't outright hate the movie). He just piles on affectation after affectation -- like talking with a weird speech impediment -- that it feels like a parody of an actor playing a serial killer.

8:32 EST: Yay, it's Christoph! This is a thoughtful, eloquent speech, but it's not the YouTube clip, outpouring of emotion or fireworks display supposedly needed at an early awards like this. Luckily, the performance is strong enough that he doesn't need to rely on anything else to be the Oscar winner.

8:39 EST: Outstanding Female Actor in a Drama Series. The nominees are Patricia Arquette, Glenn Close, Mariska Hargatay, Holly Hunter, Julianna Margulies, and Kyra Sedgwick. I've never seen one episode of any of these shows. Wow, do I not watch any Dramas?

8:41 EST: And it's Julianna Margulies. Okay.

8:45 EST: Male Actor in a Drama Series. Simon Baker, Bryan Cranston, Michael C. Hall, Jon Hamm, Hugh Laurie. Oh, I do watch "Dexter" and "Mad Men." I guess I do watch dramas, just not those boring, lady-driven TNT detective-esque dramas. Yay, Michael C. Hall! Though that Bryan Cranston clip reminded me that I need to start watching "Breaking Bad."

8:47 EST: I will try to cut down on my "An Education" hate, since I really don't hate it, but these clips just remind me that I don't understand what anyone is finding special about this movie. It's a nice, fairly entertaining, middle-of-the-road, learn-your-lesson movies made for grandmothers. But whatever I guess.

8:50 EST: Ensemble Cast in a Drama Series. Never seen "The Closer" or "The Good Wife" and I only half-watch "True Blood," but I love "Dexter" and "Mad Men." This should really be "Mad Men" .... and it is!

9:00 EST: As president of the SAG, Ken Howard is doing his duty by saying some very boring things for minutes on end. He was wonderful in "In Her Shoes."

9:02 EST: And now Sandra Bullock is beginning the presentation of the Lifetime Achievement Award to Betty White. Is it wrong that the former golden girl's appearance in "The Proposal" last year (ever-so-slightly) diminished the love I had for her?

9:18 EST: This "Extraordinary Measures" commercial seems to be advertising a much happier, smilier movie than the two-hour dying-children movie I saw this afternoon.

9:22 EST: Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series. This should really, really, really be Drew Barrymore. I always like her, but always find her more charming than actually thinking she gave a particularly special performance, but she was truly fantastic in "Grey Gardens." If this goes to her co-star Jessica Lange, it's purely because Lange is older..... Ahhh, awesome, it's Drew!

9:24 EST: Loved that speech. Even with all the "um, um, um," it clearly was coming from the heart. I don't presume to think we actually really 'know' any Hollywood celebrity, but she just seems like a genuine person.

9:27 EST: Best Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-Series. I didn't even hear of these films with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Tom Wilkinson, and alas I missed "Georgia O'Keefe," but Kevin Bacon was terrific in "Taking Chance." It will likely be him... and it is.

9:33 EST: In Memoriam. I know they do it at every single awards show every single year, but I really wish they'd stop doing the applause-meter thing.

9:36 EST: P.S. We're 96 minutes into a supposedly-two-hour-long awards show, and they've officially given out ONE film award.

9:41 EST: SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: Catherine Keener ("Where the Wild Things Are"), Patricia Clarkson ("Whatever Works"), Marion Cotillard ("Nine"), Vera Farmiga (for "Orphan"), Melanie Laurent ("Inglourious Basterds")

Penelope was fun in "Nine" but she's playing the exact same role she won an Oscar for last year. I happen to love, love, love "Up in the Air" but count me among the few who doesn't think Vera was anything special in it. Sure, she's sexy and has great chemistry with Clooney, but I didn't think the role required a whole hell of a lot. Call me crazy. Kendrick and Kruger are deserving of their nominations, but not for the win. Mo'Nique will be winning this, and rightfully so.

9:43 EST: And like we all thought/knew, Mo'Nique won. She delivered a really excellent speech, to boot, one that seemed (to me) significantly more sincere than her Golden Globes one last Sunday.

9:51 EST: ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: Robin Williams ("World's Greatest Dad"), Nicolas Cage ("Bad Lieutenant"), Matt Damon ("The Informant!"), Tom Hardy ("Bronson"), Viggo Mortensen ("The Road"), Patton Oswalt ("Big Fan"), Sam Rockwell ("Moon"), Michael Stuhlbarg ("A Serious Man")

Honestly, anyone EXCEPT MORGAN FREEMAN would totally deserve this. Colin Firth was my personal favorite (though I didn't love the movie), but Clooney, Bridges and Renner are not far behind. Happy to see anyone win this, but it really should be (and will be) the long overdue Bridges. And unlike Winslet last year, it'll actually be for a deserving performance.

9:54 EST: Jeff Bridges for the win! Good for him. Meryl Streep encourages him to ignore the "Please Wrap It Up" cue.

9:56 EST: ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: Tilda Swinton ("Julia"), Ellen Page ("Whip It"), Catalina Saavedra ("The Maid"), Charlotte Gainsbourg ("Antichrist")

I want to see Gabourey Sidibe win this. Only her and Helen Mirren gave deserving performances, and Gabby is easily the best in the category. If Tilda had gotten nominated on the other hand... I still say if "Julia" had been put out by a distributor that had any money to support it (it was Magnolia), she would far and away be the frontrunner in this category. This will likely go to Meryl (snooze) or Sandra (cuts wrists). Thankfully, Carey Mulligan appears to have lost steam.

9:57 EST: Oh, fuck. Sandra Bullock. There are no words.

10:00 EST: Yes, yes, nice speech. But completely, completely undeserved. Just a little anecdote to share -- not saying it's related: I attended a SAG screening of "A Serious Man" a couple weeks back, and a gentleman behind me said to his screening partner that he was going to vote for Sandra Bullock even though he hadn't seen "The Blind Side," using the following rationale: "She's had such a long career, and she's always been good, as opposed to someone who just lucked into it like Precious."

10:01 EST: And Clooney clinches the best moment of the night by implying he's had sex with Betty White. And making the joke "An Education: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire." Interesting that he's presenting the category that his film was surprisingly snubbed from.

CAST IN A MOTION PICTURE

While Alfred Molina and Rosamund Pike rocked the shit, I generally don't think the ensemble of "An Education" is worthy of winning an award. I also think that, aside from Jeremy Renner, the cast of "The Hurt Locker" has been a bit overvalued. "Nine" -- don't make me laugh. This should go to "Precious" or "Inglourious Basterds," and dare I say, it will go to one of them.

10:02 EST: And it does indeed go to "Inglourious Basterds." I'm very happy about it, but somehow it seems inappropriate for Eli Roth to (again!) be the one accepting the award, considering he gives the worst performance in the film.

10:05 EST: And it's over. Well, to be honest, I enjoyed blogging this more than the actual awards, so I don't how all y'all who were just watching it felt. Either way, whatever the reason, I had fun, hopefully you did too. Now, I'm off to drink in the East Village, and I'll leave you with the following words:

VOTE 'NO' ON SANDRA BULLOCK FOR BEST ACTRESS.