My Udo My Udo What Have Ye Done

JA from MNPP here. Have you read this phenomenally odd and delightful interview with the actor Udo Kier at The AV Club? Odd and delightful are the two words I'd always use whenever mentioning Mr. Kier, but he really brings it this time around.

Over at MNPP  I picked out my fifteen favorite quotes from the interview, but I'm so oddly delighted in this chat's wake I've got to just keep on thinking about Udo, and what better way to do that then to mercilessly pick apart the work he's done over the years with a completely frivolous list. He's worked so much in such a vast array of projects that there are dozens of his performances that I've missed (I don't know how this is possible but it appears I've never seen any of the films he's done with Fassbinder, for example), but out of the many I have seen here are my five favorite performances of his.

5 Favorites



Lee Meyers, My Son My Son What Have Ye Done - I don't think it's often that Udo gets picked to play a straight man to somebody else's nuttery, but when stacked up against a way out there Michael Shannon it's not only possible, it's enthralling.

NSFW image after the jump

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Inglorious Slacker: The Life and Times of Quentin Tarantino

By know you've probably heard that Quentin Tarantino has finished writing Inglorious Bastards, his WW II epic and that he's decided to make it two films, a la Kill Bill. Setting aside for a moment that it might not be a good idea to make every movie longer than it was originally intended to be (which happened with both Kill Bill and Death Proof) and ignore the question that brings up about his self-editing ability, let's talk about Tarantino's blessed career. Anne Thompson writes

Tarantino is one of most fortunate writer-directors in Hollywood. While other filmmakers white-knuckle their way from project to project, hoping to finance their fantasies and get them up on screen just the way they want them--which never happens--Tarantino can count on long-time mentor/patron Harvey Weinstein to be there for him. As soon as the director is ready, he gets a greenlight, and can move forward into production.

I take a different tack here. Isn't the struggle part of art? I love Tarantino's filmography. Every film (save Death Proof by my estimation) has been a gem. But has the coddling made him lazy? Tarantino gets a green light whenever he wants one and yet in 16 years in the business he has only made 6 features --5 if you count Kill Bill as a single film since that's what it was when he was making it -- Half of those films were in his first five years when he was establishing the reputation he still enjoys as an artist and showman. Once you add in the time it will take to actually get around to making and releasing Bastards (I'm guessing 2012 rather than the intended 2010) the lack of productivity will seem even more pronounced.

Tarantino's filmography from 1998 to 2008. That's it.

In the past 11 years he's only delivered Kill Bill and Death Proof. I'm not sure the ease with financing is helping. If he had to struggle a little more, would there be a fire lit under him? Would self editing be a honed survival skill? Would "Director" be the first job description to show up on IMDB instead of "Actor" Yes, he's acted far more often than directed. [shudder]

For comparison and conversation's sake in roughly their first 16 years as feature filmmakers these auteurs made

• Steven Soderbergh. 15 features (+ a television series)
  
• Clint Eastwood. 12 features
• Pedro Almodóvar. 11 features
• Woody Allen. 11 features
• Steven Spielberg. 11 features (+ a television series)
  
• Ang Lee. 10 features
  
• Ridley Scott. 8 features
• Peter Jackson. 8 features
  
• Wong Kar Wai. 8 features
• David Lynch. 6 features (+ a television series)
  
• Todd Haynes. 4 features
• Terence Malick. 2 features
  

Different strokes and all that but come on QT. Work faster, dammit!
*

"I Am the Queen Mother Judd!"

The title shout of this post refers not to a country squabble --Naomi given Wynonna the what's what -- but to Ashley Judd letting loose in Bug. Pay attention.

It's DVD Tuesday...

I've been neglecting the DVD feature on this blog what with my general malaise (geez louise ~ tough year) and all the festival-festiveness so rather than detail each new disc coming out today I offer this simple guide of 11 (why not?) recent DVD releases -- stuff you and I both oughta rewatch / catch up with /discuss in the comments, else we be squished beneath the toes of that ever sprinting popculture beast

(in alpha order)

Away From Her -Sarah Polley's exquisite tale of an everlasting marriage and alzheimers will make my top ten list this year. I love its cool palette, wintry setting, and tearjerking performances which somehow free of cheap sentiment yet warm all the same. My nightmare: Julie Christie gets passed over for a Best Actress nomination this year. It could happen. It better not.

Black Book -Since this was skipped by the foreign language committee during last year's Oscar race, it's technically eligible for Oscar consideration in other categories this year (the year of its US release). Not that anyone will notice. But some people think it's awesome and that the lead actress is the shit.

The Boss of it All -Lars Von Trier does comedy (?) Have you seen it?

Brothers and Sisters: The Complete First Season -it desperately craves your love (this one's so codependent with the audience) it requires your patience with its histrionics (endless). It rewards those things with compulsive watchability... and of course Sally Field

Bug -Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon deal with infestations of the body... or mind. Director William Friedkin (The Exorcist) helps them freak you out. I loved the play so much I overhyped myself on this one --I was probably more disappointed than I should have been though I did like it. I plan to watch it again soon. [more blather on the hype vs reality problem here and the next victim I fear it'll take] If you're seeing Bug for the first time do share -- did it burrow under your skin?

Death Proof -I've excluded the Grindhouse preface to this title because they've neutered that angle in DVD release form. Tarantino's car chase epic is expanded to 113 minutes now so even more tedium awaits! I realize this film has many vocal fans but if you're one of them, please for the love of celluloid explain to me how you stayed awake for the first interminable hour. I need to know. Figure it might be useful next time I have to go to work after a whole night of insomnia.

Jindabyne -Because it won awards @ Stale Popcorn and because Nick seconds that love

Next -The only Julianne Moore movie that I ever skipped (and she makes a lot of clunkers --so basically I'm a saint). I passed on account of terrible reviews but mostly on account of Nicolas Cage whom I've only been tricked into looking at a few times in the past 10 years, a major feat since he makes so many movies.

My body trembles at the thought of renting this. Netflix adds a cold sweat to those shakes by sharing that the folks who loved Ghost Rider, Wild Wild West and Fantastic Four "recommend" it. As, what, a torture device? I'm just asking.

Snow Cake & The TV Set -A Sigourney Weaver double feature? Why not. (prev thoughts on TV Set here)

Zoo -I dunno. But Nick likes it a lot and I am occassionally found watching documentaries. Only very occassionally. A character flaw I know.

Will you be renting any of these or giving them a second go. Thoughts?

What If You Do Great Work and Hollywood Doesn't Notice?

Hood-riding Death Proof amazon Zoë Bell, surprise badass Freddy Rodriguez (I did not see "El Ray" coming watching Six Feet Under, did you?), and syringe-wielding wide eyed Marley Shelton were the revelations of Grindhouse this past Spring. While it's true that the movie flopped it's also true that actors can ignite their careers by doing unarguably charismatic and scene-stealing work. Even in flops.

Zoë Bell is getting her shot with a project developed for her but what the hell is going on with Freddy & Marley? Freddy has only another ensemble role on the way. He'll be part of the Napa wine industry drama Bottle Shock. Marley, so completely attuned to Planet Terror's comic absurdity and giving the movie a couple of its very best moments. Where's the breakthrough? I sincerely hope this is a case of delayed career explosion. Maybe she's taking meetings every day in Hollywood... perhaps she's swimming in offers and I just don't know it. She has only one new film listed on IMDB and she was probably involved with that before Planet Terror premiered. Why isn't she being cast in everything? I demand an answer!

In Praise of Shia

Disturbia was released on Friday, and despite the fact that it looks like a low-tier Rear Window knockoff (can't you kids get your own movies?), there's one thing that's going to get me to see it: it stars Shia LeBeouf.

I'm one of those Disney buffs who keep abreast of whatever the company ends up putting out, so I know Shia LeBeouf from his role as Louis Stevens on the Disney Channel series Even Stevens. He was hilarious, really comic gold; whatever was going on, just the simplest look on his face could be hysterical. I knew the kid was funny; what really surprised me is that he could actually act.

After a few dramatic turns in movies like The Battle of Shaker Heights, and some breezy roles in blockbusters of varying quality (Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, I Robot, Constantine), he really got a chance to really act in 2005's The Greatest Game Ever Played. It's a Disney movie, yes, but one that's quite underrated. Perhaps if it hadn't been a Disney movie, it might have gotten some more attention; a lot of people dismiss Disney's live action movies, although, admittedly, Disney makes it easy to. But trust me, the movie's directed by Bill Paxton (also the director of the underrated Frailty), and it's a nice little gem. It convinced me that Shia LeBeouf is destined, one day, to be a real actor.

Now that he's been cast in Indiana Jones and the Completely Unnecessary Fourth Adventure (and also has Transformers and the animated Surf's Up coming out this year), I've been wondering if Shia's rare leap from Disney stardom to action movies isn't a reflection of another Disney kid who made it away from the Disney kid stigma: Kurt Russell. Russell started out as a child actor, but from the early sixties to 1980 was mainly known for being in Disney movies like The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, The Barefoot Executive, and The Strongest Man in the World. Despite serious turns in movies like The Deadly Tower, his only real options in adulthood became bad TV movies (The Christmas Coal Mine Miracle), voices in Disney's animated features (The Fox and the Hound), and low-tier comedies (Used Cars). It wasn't until John Carpenter took a chance on Russell with Escape from New York--ignoring the objections of the studio, who thought Russell was just a Disney kid and wanted Tommy Lee Jones--and their follow-up The Thing that Russell was finally into adult stardom. And despite ups and downs, he's stayed there ever since. And he still does the occasional Disney movie, too.

Will Disturbia be Shia LeBeouf's Escape from New York? Will there even be one? I kind of hope so; the kid's got talent. And in another 30 years, who knows where that could lead?

Actor Resurrection

Grindhouse has plenty of treats to offer film geeks, but among its most gory-ous delights is the appearance of performers who don't usually show up in mainstream fare--at least not in this decade.

My personal favorite is Planet Terror's Sheriff Hague played by Michael Biehn. A vet of '80s genre films—notably James Cameron's The Terminator, Aliens and The Abyss—he was never a household name, but excelled as either a gritty, practical hero or off-center hothead.


The original Terminator is one of my favorite films of all time in large part because of the love I feel for Kyle Reese, as embodied by Biehn. The character is probably one of my first major film crushes. I was 14 and can still recall the gut punch I got watching it in a packed-house screening.

His role as Hicks in Aliens was less significant--that was Sigourney Weaver's show--but he still offered support to her superwoman/mother Ripley. In a pivotal scene, the closest the movie comes to "romance," he teaches her how to wield a high-tech weapon.

Director Robert Rodriguez uses him to great effect in his zombie-filled cinematic orgy. The sheriff seems dependable, but there's also that self-serving comic edge which Biehn clearly relishes. Watching him deliver some of the best "bad" movie lines in the film made me giddy. The fact that he's teamed with Jeff Fahey, another '80s throwback, only added to the thrill.

Both Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino are a bit like Dr. Frankenstein when it comes bringing actors back to life. Feel free to share your favorite resurrections. What MIA performer would you like to see on screen in a juicy role?

Hump Day Hotties: Grindhouse Girls

At the risk of sounding undeniably easy/geeky by mentioning this again: Rose McGowan has a machine gun for a leg (!!!) in Planet Terror, the first and most accessible half of Grindhouse. Though that famous image is some kind of genius mix of the physiologically wrong and the emotionally right --I've always thought of McGowan as a harder more vulgar version of many other starlets before her with gorgeous mugs and killer legs, ha ha -- that prop is hardly the only hot/sick thing about this double feature and she's hardly the only woman onscreen with deadly --well, I'd share a little more but I'd risk spoilers about some clever symmetries in the three hour adventure. But I don't wanna spoil anything (you really should see it in theaters)


These are my four favorite women (in alpha order) in Rodriguez & Tarantino's double feature jampacked with babes, gore, guns and abundant vehicular homicide.

Zöe Bell, a New Zealand born stuntwoman, plays herself in Death Proof. Kiwi accents are always adorable and combined with her self-possessed physicality and instantly likeable smile --well, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The cynic would say that this is because she spends half her time in an elaborately compromising position but I really hope she takes another acting role soon to test my theory that this is a woman with screen presence and not just great stunt skills.

Rosario Dawson. Uncle! I've resisted Rosario in the past but since she's looking more and more like she really loves to act (I love it when you can see the joy in performing. I'm usually a goner if that's visible) I've opened my heart. Anyway... appropos of nothing: Remember in 25th Hour when she had those flashback scenes where she's supposed to be in high school only she didn't look young enough? Well she's five years older now (almost 28) but she looks younger than ever in Death Proof. Was it the hairdo? What's going on there?

Rose McGowan, has two legs for most of Grindhouse (she is one of only a handful of actors to appear in both Planet Terror and Death Proof) but the leg gimmick / marketing hook aside this is the best performance I've ever seen her give: Unforced, sexy, charismatic and in on the joke.

Marley Shelton. Aside from her 2000 Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue cover appearance, sandwiched inbetween Chris Klein and Mena Suvari, I've never much noticed this actress before but she was probably my favorite part of Grindhouse. Loved her jittery wide eyed fear and drawn out character gimmick: she plays a nurse with a secret and three deadly colored needles. Rodriguez has lots of fun forcing you to guess how the needles will be used.

As for the movies themselves, I thought Planet Terror was a scream --visually inventive, off its rocker, and perfectly cheesy while maintaining a straight face. Death Proof is wildly exciting in its last act but getting there I'll admit I found torturous. I admired the overall structure a lot and normally I enjoy Tarantino's longwinded dialogue but I failed to see his oft criticized penchant for blather adding up to anything here other than the excessive padding of the running time --can he not edit himself? Here's a thought: Just make a movie that's the same length as your story! If the aim was to make me feel for the characters it didn't work at all. I am mostly a pacifist as a moviegoer and I can't recall ever feeling this way before but I was super glad about the first casualties in Death Proof because I was so anxious for the characters to stop talking --I like talky movies. But I need something to actually be said. The fake trailers were mostly ingenious and fun (Don't! was highlarious but I thought Machete was pretty great, too) but three hours was enough 'sploitation for me. I'm glad I didn't have to sit through the imaginary movies.

Planet Terror B+ / Death Proof C+ / Grindhouse B
Disclaimer: The grade might seem a little low (I had a ball and highly recommend) but adjust accordingly after remembering that I don't go for gore and am not well versed in the type of movies they're paying homage to here.


If you need more from the Grindhouse babes, check out Vanity Fair's fun video of their photoshoot for the magazine. ("Get me Dermarchelier"... "I have Patrick")

Top Ten: Prosthetic Appendages

tues top ten: a weekly series for the list lover in you and the list maker in me


Rose McGowan may have the first machine gun leg in the current "hit" Grindhouse [Please allow me to willfully ignore the box office problems. I'm not a big gore or exploitation movie buff but the least the gore loving moviegoing public could do to satisfy my worries about their bloodlust is go see something with at least some pretense of quality or reason for existence beyond the carnage. Thank you -your editor] but she isn't the first actor to be blessed with a memorable part. Get it? "part" I kill myself.

Ten Memorable Prosthetic Appendages

10 Virginia Woolf's nose in The Hours. When Denzel Washington presented Nicole Kidman with her Oscar for this movie he made a really stupid joke about winning "by a nose". But, you know, that probably did tip the scales in her favor what with the Academy being the Academy. A gimmick goes a long way.

09 ROSE MACGOWEN HAS A MACHINE GUN FOR A LEG! Yes, we covered this already. Calm down.

08 Adam's demon arm gets firepower in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 4). Or as Adam likes it call it: upgrades. Yes, BtVS works its way onto every top ten list. I'm an addict, can't be helped. If you still have not taken the cue and learned to love this television series as much as I than it's really your problem, not mine.



07 Björk and Matthew Barney legs in Drawing Restraint 9. At least I hope those were prosthetic legs they were both wearing in that truly sickening whaling climax. Or maybe they were the real deal in which case the arty rock star and the rocking art star are both wearing proshetics now. Mommy! Björk & Barney are scaring me again.

06 Lena Olin's limbs in Romeo is Bleeding *SPOILER*. I remember virtually nothing about this movie other than that Lena Olin's ferocity scared the s*** out of me. And she capped off the movie with a truly masochistic evil fait accompli involving the loss of her own limbs. Ewwww

05 Steve Martin's nose in Roxanne. Any Cyrano movie would certainly do but I include this one because I have to share this anecdote I had totally forgotten about before typing this list. I had my undergraduate experience at BYU which is *gasp* a Mormon school. I usually avoided their campus cinemas because they would edit all the movies so as not to offend delicate sensibilities. Delicate sensibilities are abundant with religious types, don'cha know. One night we went to see Roxanne on campus. I'm sitting there totally enjoying msyelf when it comes to that big bar scene where some redneck calls Steve Martin a "Big Nose." Steve then humiliates the name-caller by relaying 20 wittier insults he could have used. It's a long scene that's essentially a countdown joke --a crowd pleaser -- and we're just laughing away and then they bleep out the fucking punchline. The entire countdown joke ruined. Argh. Some people don't deserve movies at all.

04 Mark Wahlberg's penis in Boogie Nights. Contrary to popular juvenile belief found every damn place on the internet the majority of famous men --hell the majority of men period -- do not have gigantic pornstar phalluses. So don't be so shocked next time you see a tabloid nudie shot of a movie star and he doesn't look like he's cut out for a career with Falcon Entertainment. So... Marky Mark got a fake one for Boogie Nights. [Obviously NSFW] People complained at the time that it didn't look real but whatevs. How often do prosthetic appendages look totally real in the movies? I mean, aside from that machine gun leg on Rose McGowan: a study in verisimilitude.

03 Luke Skywalkers right hand in Empire Strikes Back gets all chopped off and replaced with robotics. Like father, like son. I was pretty damn obsessed with Lukes fate in Empire as a wee boy. As previously detailed here.

02 Beer filled legs in The Saddest Music in the World. Like a lot of precocious or quirky auterial work (see also John Waters) Guy Maddin's films tend to be more fun to think about in retrospect or beforehand than whilst watching. I still chuckle inwardly whenever I think of those beer legs in this complete oddity of a musical. Isabella Rossellini, very well cast here and absolutely in love with her alcohol legs, is one of the most adventurous thespians working. "If you're sad and like beer, I'm your lady" Indeed.

01 Captain Hook in Peter Pan. You have to top each list with a classic. It's a rule or something.

We Can't Wait #10 Grindhouse

Rose & Marley team up with guys from the mortuary and a deserted island

There's recently been an announcement that both "Death Proof" and "Planet Terror", the two halves that make up Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's exploitation Grindhouse feature, will have 'reels missing'. The last time I saw a movie with a reel missing was on the DVD of Judy Garland's A Star is Born (1954). So, uh, maybe I'm the wrong audience for this? This was high on three lists but absent on mine and Stinky Lulu's. Sell us on it guys. Or am I just being 'withholding' because I want lazy QT to make full movies and not dick around so much inbetween the masterpieces...

JA: The "missing reel" thing strikes me as maybe a little too gimmicky, too, but I get what they're going for and if it isn't completely distracting to the point of annoyance then I can deal with it. And you wanna know why I can deal with it? ROSE MCGOWAN HAS A MACHINE GUN FOR A LEG. That is a sentence that was formed by climbing into the Mt. Doom of my imagination and taking the molten essence of coolness and solidifying it into a pure and golden perfectness.

Lulu: A machine gun for a leg!?! Well, then...

Gabriel: Ja, you are my soul sister. Rodriguez and Tarantino are ideally suited for this kind of reimagined exploitation flick, and it's sure to be a lot of fun, but the important thing to remember is that ROSE MCGOWAN HAS A MACHINE GUN FOR A LEG. Can this be what heaven feels like?

Joe: Does that machine gun shoot vitafirm serum? Because have you seen her face lately?

No matter, this is my kind of movie. I am completely in love with the enthusiasm Rodriguez and Tarantino bring to the screen. And when they team up? Even when it’s bad, it’s so, so good. Has anyone seen the stand-up display for Grindhouse at your local theatre? Even the marketing is coked-up. Coked-up with a love of making movies, I mean!



Nathaniel: I haven't seen the stand-up yet --I'm on my annual one month break from moviegoing -- but I concur on the enthusiasm factor. I imagine a lot of directors, if they're feeling self-aware, are probably a little embarassed watching Tarantino flicks, just for the sheer verve of them. So many films feel sleepy (as droopy eyed as Rose?) in comparison.

That said, Grindhouse might be a little violence for violence sake for me to enjoy. Like Sin City Redux only hopefully more inventive since it doesn't have to adhere to source material.

* NEW FOOTAGE is up at Yahoo Movies


previously on "we can't wait"
#11 Bug, #12 Sunshine, #13 Southland Tales, #14 300, #15 Hot Fuzz, #16 Stardust, #17 The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, #18 Spider-Man 3, #19 Rendition, #20 The Bourne Ultimatum, Intro -films that didn't make it

tags: Quentin Tarantino, grindhouse, Rose McGowan, movie, cinema, Robert Rodriguez