Randomness: Toys, Kristens, Musicals.

Brain purge.

1. Every time I see the The Sorcerer's Apprentice trailer -- and I've seen it too many times -- I'm fooled into thinking that Kristen Stewart has died her hair blonde for a cameo. Is it the slack hair and its length and minor wave, the slack face in repose, the slack blandness? I hate it when actors look like other actors -- Seeing Monica Potter still makes me crazy after all these years. Stop copying Julia Roberts! --but maybe I need my eyes checked. Obviously it's not Kristen Stewart because there's too much facial movement.

2. Been thinking some more on that Wicked story I shrugged off and I continue to be depressed about the state of the movie musical. The Man Who Loved Musicals Too Much. Maybe I just can't be satisifed? Even when there is movement or news, like a screen reboot of Billy Elliot (as the musical version) or a transfer for Broadway's In the Heights, I just am never ever excited about the directors or projects. Whenever they mention names or projects I just can't help thinking that the new model is Chris Columbus's Rent (which wasn't even a big hit!). And who needs more bland mediocrities like that

3. Thank heaven for little girl's toys. I am so relieved that we have a new #1 movie of the year in Toy Story 3 (my review) which dethroned the hideous Alice in Wonderland (my thoughts) this weekend past. Years in which the #1 movie is lame are too many. And Toy Story 3 is just a beauty.

Those are the three things I had to put out into the universe this afternoon. Got 3 things on your mind. Or 3 comments on these?

Down in Fraggle Link

the classics
The Film Doctor '10 things I learned about Breakfast at Tiffany's...'
Birth of a Notion well, well. Batman's Boy Wonder just turned 65. Who knew?
Okinawa thinks Olivia de Havilland's Melanie is a badass in Gone With the Wind.


of the moment
popbytes True story of my Lady Gaga moment in the supermarket today. Plus news on Madonna's second feature W.E.
The Big Picture Inception backlash coming in 3...2...1...
AV Club strangest news of week: Rob Lowe may be buying Miramax to become 'the next Harvey Weinstein.'
Film Business Asia The Golden Horse Awards have added a "new director" prize for the next generation of Asian filmmakers.
Empire Captain America Chris Evans talks about his costume for Captain America

"I think everyone that’s going to see it is going to say, 'Okay, well done. Well done. I think they got the costume right. The casting they completely ruined, but the costume they nailed!'"

You gotta love self deprecating celebrities.

Movie Dearest I love reading about bizarre off cinema projects from cinema faces. Seems that god fearing Esmeralda from Edward Scissorhands (aka actress O-Lan Jones) is directing an complex possibly travelling opera.
I Need My Fix Lindsay Lohan sentenced to jail time. Incidentally in case you were worried. That porn biopic is going to wait for her release. That's loyalty!
Topless Robot True Story: Watching The Twilight Saga: Eclipse can kill you. Oh my god how depressing. Can you imagine if that's the last movie you were ever able to see?
Pop Hangover's Celebrity Headswap. These images are disturbing BUT for the first time ever a Twilight image made me want to see a Twilight movie. Kristen Stewart androgynized? Way sexier.
Collider Tree of Life gets an MPAA rating but distribution still looks shaky to me.

You Bent My Wookie has a lengthy interview up with the director of the upcoming Fraggle Rock movie. Seems the Weinsteins are giving him trouble. Quelle surprise. I have no special affection for Fraggle Rock (not that familiar) but I do love puppets and his heart seems to be in the right place

...time and again, I will run into people – and I’m talking about anyone from a fan boy sitting at a coffee shop to someone in the industry – everyone seems to long for an analog performance, a live performance, a real performance.

I loved Avatar, and I love what Andy Serkis does with motion capture as Gollum. There’s magic there, too. But I know that people have a hunger for tactile characters right now. I think the pendulum is swinging in a direction where people want to know they’re watching something real on camera, something that they can reach out and touch.

Though I would love desperately for this to be true, as I too miss tangible things and I love in camera effects and such, but I'm pessimistic that it actually is. CGI has conquered.

Oscar Night in Review: The Fashions (Pt 1)

I promise this is the last post on Oscar Night 2010. Oh wait. There's 3 more. DAMNIT! It'll never be over.

also: worst & weirdest moments | wonderful moments | complete Oscar '09/10 season

Before we get to the best & worst, I would like to give out a shout out to the blacktresses that were working the red carpet on Sunday. Hollywood is even harder on them their white counterparts (so few roles to go around). So unless they're nominated -- like the Precious girls -- they almost never get any media attention. So let's take a brief looksie. I've omitted Gabourey Sidibe and Mo'Nique because you've already seen the "money shot" and Mo'Nique got plenty of air time (but yes, I loved the Hattie McDaniel tribute with the dress color and the gardenia. I wish more people would do themes.)

Stacey Dash wasn't really there. I stole this from one of the parallel Oscar parties (a little more on those in part two) because I dig the slightly freaky spiderweb vixen dress. Anika Noni Rose (who we're always pulling for) didn't get to sing at the Oscars (boo! producers) so I wanted to feature her. She seems to be doing an inverted take on Carey Mulligan's favored look (the black poofy dresses with color hewhaw appliques on the bodice). Jennifer Lewis, who was also in the voice cast of The Princess and the Frog almost made my worst dressed list. But then I decided I loved that she was dressed as a cartoon super-villain that she made up in her own head "Cruela de Frill". Finally we don't usually see this much of Paula Patton (Precious's "Blu Rain") but there's more of her to be see since she's very pregnant! That's the most orange I've seen since Valentino: The Last Emperor.

BEST DRESSED

From left to right: Kristen Stewart finally looked great. And like the Fug girls said, she didn't have to not look like herself to do it. You have to give credit when it's due, so I have to say that she pulled it off. (I'm more surprised than you are). Jennifer Lopez seemed to be wearing a bubble-wrap wedding gown but it's breathtaking (and we don't normally go as gaga for her style choices as the rest of the media does). I thought Sandra Bullock was wearing silver and then somebody said "did you like her gold dress" and then I had to look again and whatever -- silver/gold/champagne -- it's the color of win. Vera Farmiga is #1 for me because this my berry-colored gown isn't "safe" and it's just BIG and confidently weird and beautiful enough to be an absolute head turner rather head scratcher.

Meryl Streep looked classy and pristine in white but I'm shocked to hear that this is by Chris March (who was always doing very over the top looks on Project Runway). I imagine Molly Ringwald will make the worst-dressed lists (I'm so behind on my interweb readings) but I think it's just weird enough with the curlicue accessories and the bold color and assymetry to be a daring choice that still totally works for her. Elizabeth Banks is as dreamy as she is funny. Are you following her on twitter? Finally, you knew I had to have my goddess in here: Michelle Pfeiffer wore red which is and always has been her very best color. This dress is saved from being too plain (she does always play it elegant/safe, that one) by it's interesting pattern and textures.

WORST DRESSED

From left to right: Virginia Madsen is stupendously beautiful but always look dowdy on awards night. The cut of the waist on Kate's dress is not flattering. That's right, cover it up Winslet. My friend Joe says that Miley Cyrus's dress is "dragging her down from the boobs" haha. I think that's just her posture. But you probably shouldn't be walking red carpets if you can't yet stand up straight. Faith Hill depresses me sartorially speaking...and otherwise speaking. Zoe Saldana looked like she was having a ball so points for that. But this belongs on top of a float or as the trim of a float since it's that type of pinata-esque fabric at the bottom. Different dress up top. For some reason SJP's outfit makes me think she was doing homage to A Single Man's era. I value her status as a fashion icon but I think this might be the worst she's ever looked. (Maybe if her hair hadn't have been sticking out all over the place?) I don't know what kind of fabric Melanie Griffith is wearing but it reminds me of a chain link fence trapped in an oil slick or perhaps the treated hide of The Blob. Hate it. And, oh Charlize... bra stuffing turned inside out? Really?

What did these dresses do to your eyes? And would you rearrange the best and worsts? I know there were a ton more but I can't stare at dresses all day. I had to draw the line at twenty.

Oscar Night in Review: Worst and Weirdest

I've reviewed the ceremony in the thematic / abstract for Tribeca. So let's get a little more specific here for the big roundup (see also: most wonderful moments and fashion review ~ finis!). Worst and Weirdest Moments coming at'cha now. Whether you disagree or agree, I'd love to hear the moments that left you scratching your head or pissed off.

Worst Things About Oscars 09/10

6 Oscar's Weird Relationship To Youth. The Oscars have never been a youthquake. Institutions are primarily for adults and for kids who dream of growing up to become adults. Certain Young Hollywood stars fit right into the glamour -- the history even -- of the industry's big night. You can't have the movies without both the old guard and fresh faces, after all. Cue Lion King music... "It's the circle of life!" But you need to have the type of young stars that don't require mental gymnastics on the part of the audience when they see them inbetween closeups of true legends and A-List names. There's something about some young stars -- Amanda Seyfried or Dakota Fanning for example -- that exude "one day I may well be Old Hollywood". This is the type of young star that Oscar should embrace if it wants to reexert and maintain its own institutional force. Miley Cyrus has precious little to do with the cinema and it's hard to imagine that she actually cares about the history of Hollywood and her place in their pantheon. What can she possibly bring to the table that they need? Taylor Lautner did fine with the presenting -- he's a young professional -- but they were giving him closeup reactions like he was an actual movie star and he looked confused or nervous when he wasn't on stage, like someone who had stumbled in from a nearby prom.

I don't want to come off like an old grouch here. It's a nuanced point. The Oscars should have a smattering of young stars, but since it's an Establishment event... it kind of needs the young stars who are, well, Established. And not (potentially) one-role wonders that they've been told are the cool kids. I'm not saying "don't invite Taylor Lautner". I have nothing against Taylor Lautner. I'm saying "Invite Taylor Lautner when he's proven himself." Kristen Stewart can stay. I'm obviously not a fan but I won't pretend that she hasn't earned it. She's been directed by Sean Penn and David Fincher. She's carried whole movies. Some people think she's really talented. She can hold her own while locked in tiny claustrophic spaces with Jodie Foster. Etcetera.

5 Pete Docter's speech. It started off well "Never did I believe making a flipbook in my third grade math class would lead to this" but one thing sours his wins for me. Why does he never acknowledge his fellow nominees in any of his speeches? When you sweep (as UP has) it starts to seem ungenerous. In such a rich year for animated films (Coraline and Fantastic Mr Fox would have made completely valid winners) it seems self-absorbed at best and extremely bad form at worst to act as if other great movies don't exist.

4 Oscar's Shame. At first I was excited that Oscar was explaining the difference between sound editing and sound mixing to the audience at home (and the audience in the Kodak... who *ahem* need the same education). But The Dark Knight? Why not illustrate with, um, this year's nominees?!!! Stay focused, Oscar! You could see the phantom image of the Academy's collective tail, still stuck between its legs. Exactly how many years are they going to apologize for passing that one up? The Academy makes a lot of bad choices, sure, but don't we like the Academy better when they aren't so obviously sheepish. Confidence --even when its unearned -- is often sexy. Groveling and pandering never are.

The John Hughes Club: Matthew Broderick, Macauley Culkin, Ally Sheedy,
Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Jon Cryer and Anthony Michael Hall

3 The John Hughes tribute. He definitely made an impression on my generation. I'd never deny that. I grew up reciting The Breakfast Club and I love it to this day. But the Academy doesn't even do lone tributes for Oscar winners after they've died and John Hughes was never even nominated. It was an uncharacteristic moment, immediately casting strange shadows on cinematic giants that they've never given this treatment too. Yet another instance of the Academy protesting too much... "see, we DO like Popular Films! We DO!"

They're just so scared to be themselves these days.

2 Interpretative Dance. They gave up Best Original Song or the honorary Oscars....for this? Clue to the producers: This is the type of thing you can AND HAVE done before during the Best Original Song performances. Why omit one to have the other? Especially when interpretative dance numbers have even less to do with the movies than the aborted songs. And especially when you don't even know which movies you've decided to interpret. Why were you doing a tribute to WALL•E during the UP score? That's what the robot dance was for, right? Because there aren't any robots in UP. Was this a biting satirical jab at Pixar? "Your movies are interchangeable!"

1. the worst... Screw Old People! Roger Corman, Lauren Bacall and Gordon Willis. We see you... even if Oscar won't. Legends deserve better than standing and waving to the camera. F**k you producers!

Weirdest Things About Oscars 09/10

6 The Notably Absent. Old Hollywood and New Hollywood were amply represented but wasn't it weird that Legendary Hollywood and Current Hollywood weren't? Perhaps I should explain. Old Hollywood greats (roughly speaking the senior citizens) like Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman were very present. So were newbies like Amanda Seyfried, Zac Efron and Carey Mulligan. We already know that the producers feared the wrath of teenagers should Lauren Bacall open her opinionated mouth. She had to go! But what about Current Hollywood? Was it just me or was there a distinct lack of the big stars in their mid 20s to early 40s? You know... the age range of stars that get the bulk of the leading roles? Maybe I was imagining it (possible) but the whole night felt a little like the demographic of the Best Actress category (minus Sandra Bullock).

5 Fact-Checking ... Anyone? Anyone? You'd think a show with a gargantuan production budget and phalanx of writers wouldn't have this problem but why did Samuel L Jackson get the details wrong about Beauty & The Beast (1991)? No, Samuel, Beauty & The Beast was not nominated for both Animated Feature and Best Picture. The animated feature category did not exist back then. And no Taylor Lautner, The Exorcist was not the last horror film to win favor with the Oscars. That scripted gaffe (not Taylor's fault obviously) was even stranger, followed as it was by a montage of "horror movies" (loosely defined) that included many Oscar favorites that were released AFTER The Exorcist... movies like Carrie, Silence of the Lambs, Jaws, and The Sixth Sense.

4 Amanda Seyfried + Miley Cyrus. Who thought to pair them? I'm convinced they're from different universes and I'm not talking about the light years between Pennsylvania and Tennessee. I loved Anthony Lane's bit in the New Yorker about their odd couple demeanor

Cyrus, who wore a perfectly respectable bustier but had inadvertently forgotten to put anything over it,came on to present an award in the company of Amanda Seyfried, and, in so doing, fluffed her lines. “We’re both kinda nervous, it’s our first time.” So saying, she tried to corral Seyfried into the fluff, inviting her to share the pain, but Seyfried, wisely, was having none of it, and shied backward, as if to say, “Enough with the both, sister.”

3 Fisher Stevens is an Oscar winner!
For those of you who are like "who?" It's okay. Perfectly understandable. But it was a weird moment for me. You see during the peak of Michelle Pfeiffer's career from roughly Fabulous Baker Boys through Batman Returns he was her boyfriend. Fisher withstood frequent hateful media comments, presumably for dating someone deemed so far out of his league. And he was further vilified when they broke up, presumably on account of infidelity.


But that's all ancient tabloid history. Now he is an Oscar winner and Michelle Pfeiffer is still... not.

Excuse me for a moment.

Stevens, who won for the dolphin-killing exposé The Cove, is obviously well connected and I didn't know this either. On the way to the stage for his thank you Woody Harrelson grabbed him and he exchanged looks with Meryl Streep. Who knew.

2 The Presenter Rut. What is with the Academy's utter inability to shake things up presenter-wise. They don't actually employ the same producers every year so why is it that we get the same presenters? What is it that makes Ben Stiller so attractive to them versus dozens of other famous comics? What is it that makes Cameron Diaz a "must have!"? Why is Queen Latifah the one black actress they regularly care about? Why do Tom Hanks and Barbra Streisand get so many chances to present biggie prizes? I'm not trying to be dense. I JUST DON'T GET IT. That town is swimming with legends. Los Angeles is where celebrities live. Tom Hanks and Barbra Streisand are not the only instantly recognizable cross generational celebrities on the planet. We've offered the producers numerous suggestions of very very famous people they've never used for Best Picture and they never take our advice. I mean Christ Almighty they've never even let actresses as famous as Meryl Streep or Jane Fonda do it. Or why not someone like Maggie Smith who is loved by the older generation as well as the young kids (see Harry Potter).

1...the weirdest. Sean Penn's AdLib.
It went like so...

I...um. I never became an official member of the Academy but the Academy and I do have in common that we manage to -- neglect to acknowledge the same actress in our own ways two years running. So I -- I'm going to start fresh with the Academy and acknowledge these wonderful actresses.

Maybe someone else has already explained this online but what the hell is he talking about? I have no idea. None. And I watch the Oscars religiously every year, and usually more than once!

Explain it to me in the comments, please!

Update: the best moments too. Thanks for sticking it out!

Hello World I'm Your Wild Girl

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JA from MNPP here, wishing Dakota Fanning a very happy Sweet 16 today. Hard to believe she's old enough to shove Tom Cruise outta the driver's seat and outrun alien-tripod-killing-machines all on her own now (and maybe stop that endless annoying shrieking from the backseat already for the love of god stop), but it's true.

Much has been said about Dakota's preternaturally adult-like demeanor - a whole series of SNL skits was devoted to it - and that was in keeping with the New Jodie Foster mantle placed on her back in the day. Every serious young actress has Jodie's name flung at them, after all. Anytime one goes to college, they're taking The Jodie Route!

Dakota got her Accused outta the way quick - some might say far, far too quick - with Hounddog. And now comes the sexually-ambiguous period. Jodie accomplished this by igniting exactly zero point zero-zero sparks opposite every man she's ever been cast across from, including Mel Gibson and Richard Gere. Looks like Dakota's bypassing that and instead gunning straight for Sappho with her soon-to-be-much-touted scene with (other New Jodie) Kristen Stewart in The Runaways. That's called progress, people!

So what do we think of Dakota? Will she steer herself out of the pack of her peers and past child-star shadows into a longtime career of her own? And who wins in a Jodie off - her or K. Stewart?

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poll by twiigs.com

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BAFTA Live! TapeDelay-Blogging

Nathaniel: Hey, kids. It's probably not sane to "tape-delay" blog the BAFTAs -- you probably already know who one, actually -- but this blog isn't exactly of sound mind during awards season (or, ahem, otherwise). I haven't heard about the winners yet. The second I opened a browser I sensed spoilers from all corners so I had to look away. Why doesn't the BBC-America broadcast it live? It's not like anyone who cares wouldn't watch it in the afternoon on a Sunday. But if you've already heard who won on the internet wouldn't that cut down your desire to tune in and thus lower the ratings? I don't get it. So that they could rerun broadcass of nature documentary Life of Mammals? I don't really care about the sharpness of a squirrel's front teeth or how kangaroo rats (omg. idon'tevenknow whatthoseare and I DON'T WANT TO KNOW) store their seeds. Especially not when movie stars are afoot. Someone get me a BBC executive on the phone!

I've also invited txtcritic, who liveblogged the SAGs for me when I was at Sundance, to join me for this event.

"I was hoping for a bigger laugh"

txtcritic: this is already dreadful.

Nathaniel: Whenever they do these collages of best moments from the year, why are they always the films that aren't nominated that get all the time? If they're so great, nominate them!

txtcritic: because clearly the most memorable movie moments of the year were featured in "Nine," "The Men Who Stare at Goats," "The Boat That Rocked" and "Coco Before Chanel."

txtcritic: Yaaaaay! "Moon" finally wins something!

Colin Firth presents an early award to Duncan Jones

Nathaniel: And that'd be the Best Debut Something Or Other. That's actually the title of the category. It was very schizo. The internet film community has been rooting for David Bowie's little boy all grown up (writer/director Duncan Jones) all year so a million facebook statuses just changed simultaneously.

I'm guessing.

txtcritic: If they play this "I See You" song every time "Avatar" wins an award tonight, I might not make it through the evening. Christ almighty.

Nathaniel: Sixty percent of the people in my apartment watching this awards show right now have NOT seen this movie yet. Where am I? Who am I?

txtcritic: They're showing clips from behind-the-scenes of "Avatar," and watching Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana having to seriously act with emotions while wearing these contraptions and dots all over themselves makes me genuinely impressed that they can get a line of dialogue out without cracking up.

txtcritic: Okay, I'll say it: Christoph Waltz is super eloquent, but I have trouble staying awake through his sentences.

Nathaniel: But they aren't run on sentences. Suck it up, man. I'm actually so impressed that he keeps coming up with new things to say. Remember when Jamie Foxx gave the same exact speech "My Grandma! RESPONSE AND CALL" 27 times in 2004/2005

Costume Design goes to Sandy Powell for The Young Victoria. I just interviewed her and I'll share more of that very soon.

Matthew So-Goode is on screen. Everyone just gasped. The Young Victoria took makeup.

txtcritic: well, judging by how the evening is going so far, "The Young Victoria" is clearly going to win Picture, Director, Actress, Editing, Adapted Screenplay and Visual Effects.

Nathaniel: Mo'Nique takes Supporting Actress. Weirdly Matt Dillon, who must not have been paying attention during this awards season, had to look at a card to introduce Lee Daniels, the director. He accepted for her. We're not sure why since he said virtually nothing other than making a joke about The Hurt Locker not having actresses in it.

Rupert Everett is announcing "Best British Film" . I don't care what anyone says -- including people in this room -- I love him. Even if you think he's an egotistical ass in interviews, at least he gives good quote. Down with celebrities who don't have anything quotable to say!

Rupert looking good after some weird face moments last year.

With both he and Colin Firth there it's like an Another Country reunion. Wow... the prize went to Fish Tank.

txtcritic: Ew, "Fish Tank." This should've been "In the Loop," by far. I honestly don't get what the appeal of "Fish Tank" is. It's just another familiar slice-of-horrible-life movie that doesn't say anything new or engaging. Please explain it to me.

Nathaniel: I can't because my screener was damaged. I need to buy a ticket. Also: I want to go back to something you said to me about Colin Firth. That A Single Man was to him what Rachel Getting Married was to Anne Hathaway: a movie that made you reconsider and totally love the actor in question who you didn't care about before. I'd love to hear which actors that the readers have had this experience with. TELL US.

txtcritic: the Orange Rising Start award, voted by *shudder* the public. I find it disturbing that Nicholas Hoult was nominated for one of the worst performances of last year -- he was basically auditioning to be a Ken doll. This will likely be Carey Mulligan, but deserves to be Tahar Rahim, who is unbelivable in "A Prophet." Jesse Eisenberg is adorable, but he's been "rising" for years now. Ew, gross, Kristin Stewart. I mean, I totally love and support her rocker-chick-aloof-lesbianism thing (even if she won't officially come out), but come the fuck on. I just looked at her IMDb filmography and she hasn't given ONE performance I would describe as better than serviceable.

Nathaniel: I've never heard the lesbian rumor. For her sake, I hope she IS a lesbian. At least that would make one interesting thing about her. I know I bag on Kristen a lot but I will say that the first time I've (almost) enjoyed her in a movie was in The Runaways in which she was playing a lesbian. Weirdly, she managed not to run her fingers through her hair. In other words: she should always wear wigs for future performances. For her that'd be like when people wear nasty tasting nail polish to stop the biting.

txtcritic: "Up in the Air" just won Best Adapted Screenplay, deservedly. Did the supposed Sheldon Turner / Jason Reitman feud flare up again? What in the hell is Reitman doing missing at these awards? What else is he doing?

Nathaniel: Maybe he's consoling Walter Kirn?

txtcritic: Walter Kirn is such a whiny bitch.

Nathaniel: "Experience the magic of Celtic Thunder." That might be the most amazing commercial I've ever seen. Hand me my phone and credit card.

Carey Mulligan, devoured by print fabrics

Nathaniel: A Prophet just won Best Foreign Film. Carey Mulligan, the presenter, seemed very happy about that win. txtcritic was also thrilled. Jacques Audiard had the BEST translator ever. She was hilarious. Translation with comic timing and attitude. What do we think is going to happen with Carey Mulligan? career-wise ... not Shia Labeouf wise.

Clive Owen, presenting Best Director, was just described as "smoother than a waxed otter". Um...

I'm trying to remember what Clive Owen looks like naked to decide if Jonathan Ross knows of what he speaks but I'm drawing a blank. Something is very wrong with me. I used to watch Close My Eyes on loop in college. Where has my memory gone?

Now Best Director goes to Kathryn Bigelow. We have no idea what her acceptance speech was. Especially the end.

And I just would like to dedicate this to never abandoning the need to find a resolution for peace.

Were those English sentences. No sense can be made of them.

UMA ALERT! --->

You know you're too far into awards season when you get the church giggles about microphone placement. But in our defense, UMA's breasts are so memorable that one always notices them.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship Award goes to Vanessa Redgrave. She is A-MAZ-ING. But you know, she's even less comprehensible than Kathryn Bigelow. Bizarrely incoherent, and I believe it approximated about 60% of the show. It ends with some sort of Shakespeare parallels.

txtcritic: I don't remember Shakespeare's Rosalind thanking the BAFTAs...


Nathaniel: Colin Firth wins Best Actor. He really was marvelous in A Single Man as many readers seem to agree (see the Best Actor poll)

Nathaniel: Mr. Mickey Rourke to present Best Actress. "Do you want this bareback or with a raincoat" WTF

txtcritic: AMAZING. Mickey Rourke just threatened to cum inside whoever wins Best Actress.

...and it's the wildly overrated Carey Mulligan. Thankfully Ms. Bullock wasn't nominated. The adorable, young, pretty, pixieish waif will be the one taking the Rourke load.

Nathaniel: Vile. This is a PG rated blog. PG-13 when we let loose. How is Carey "wildly overrated" when Sandra Bullock exists?

txtcritic: Because, even though she's winning undeserved awards, nobody is shouting ejaculatory praise about Ms. Bullock. Meanwhile, people are raving about Mulligan's "transcendant," "maginificent," "star-is-born" performance as if it's more than her just being adorable, and male critics wanting to screw her.

Nathaniel: male critics and Mickey Rourke apparently.

Nathaniel: On to Best Picture with Dustin Hoffman presenting. Did we like him in Last Chance Harvey? Readers?

txtcritic: I liked him quite a bit in that charming-if-forgettable movie. "The Hurt Locker" wins, and Mark Boal just called his earlier speech "uncharacteristically inarticulate." Arrogant much? Either way, Boal and Bigelow make an extremely hot/sexy "we can't announce we're official until after awards season is over" couple.

Nathaniel: There's a reason we keep calling it The Sexy Locker.


That Oscar for Best Picture is looking more and more secure. At this point, it doesn't feel like a two horse race to me. But some other sports metaphor. What?

BAFTA is over anyway. What did y'all think of the show?
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Don't Set The Alarm, You Guys

JA from MNPP here, with a look at five people who should probably sleep in tomorrow when the Oscar nominations are announced.

Beyonce, for snarling and snapping her neck in Obsessed

Either of these two blocks of wood, New Moon

Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars - I love ya Annie, but you have to be reminded like when you rub a dog's nose in its business when it does its business on the floor. Bride Wars is bad business on the floor, girl.

Eli Roth, Inglourious Basterds - He'll probably give the speech for who ever wins an award for Basterds anyway since that's been the routine this season - and I like looking at him so I haven't much minded - but I think it's safe to assume his name's not getting engraved on any acting statues any time this year. On my bedpost, that's another matter. (Call me, Eli!)

But hey, y'all can probably expect a call when they're looking for presenters, so chin up! You can awkwardly read the teleprompter in much the way you delivered your lines on-screen, and that'll be a treat for us all. Especially me, since I will be drunk, and laughing at you.

And in related news, the Razzie nominations are here.
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Vanity Fair "Dolls"

It's that time of year again. Vanity Fair refers to these nine actresses as "dolls" and we're certainly not here to dispute their smooth porcelain loveliness (the median age here is 23 and they're all lily white). But when I hear "dolls" now I think of only the Dollhouse, and I'm wondering just what "imprints" we're dealing with here. Which one of these girls is actually a savage killer? Or skilled in all positions of the kama sutra? Or a hostage negotiator? Or a genius computer programmer?


But more importantly, which of them will seem like a big "duh" for the cover treatment seven or eight years from now and which will be like a, "who...what now?". If you click on the Vanity Fair label below you can see past investigations of this Hollywood Issue's covergirls (and boys).

Abbie Cornish. Kristen Stewart. Carey Mulligan. Amanda Seyfried. Rebecca Hall. Mia Wasikowska. Emma Stone. Evan Rachel Wood. Anna Kendrick. Where will they be in 2020: The A-List? In the land of obscurity? headlining a TV series? at the Kodak Theater? Uninsurable has-been? Box Office Queen?

I know I ask too many questions but which doll do you want for your own? And which invisible doll (in this age range) are you angry you can't see on this magazine cover?

Sundance Day 5 & 6: The Runaways, Mother and Child, and More...

The day in which Nathaniel got sick (cough sneeze), wanted to jump on Ari Graynor (with love!), saw Paul Dano at a party (quite adorable), went to a gay party by himself (absolute torture) and saw a few movies. Which is what we're here to talk about. So here goes...

Holy Rollers
I've seen more than enough drug dramas in my lifetime but this one is about an ecstasy smuggling ring with Hasidic Jews as couriers. So ...that's new. Movies with unusual premises or angles win initial "potential" points right off the bat. Jesse Eisenberg plays Jesse Eisenberg again... only with payot. (somebody needs to start stretching. I'm just sayin'). He plays Sam Gold who, despite the fact that he's living an Orthodox life, he soon dives deep into crime with an older friend and fellow Hasid (Justin Bartha), as his guide. Ari Graynor, whom I love yet more with each new movie, plays their bosses arm candy. She enjoys torturing (i.e. flirting with) the Jewish boys and delighting me in my theater seat. There's a certain punch to a couple of the performances and the milieu is interesting, but I wish the movie were stronger. It lacks a certain urgency that's necessary for crime dramas (even non-violent ones like this) but the religious backdrop was refreshing. Holy Rollers also accepts and doesn't judge the way that people often retreat into religious ritual and habit, whenever they feel threatened by the waters they've tested outside. C+

P.S. At one point Ari Graynor offers Jesse ecstasy on her tongue. I've never done E but I've never been more tempted. I am becoming obsessed with Ari Graynor. Help me!

Mother and Child
The premise goes like so: Mother "Karen" (Annette Bening), pregnant when she was only 14, gave up Child "Elizabeth" (Naomi Watts) for adoption. Both of them live the next 37 years deeply affected by this decision. Mother spends the rest of her life thinking about this girl and who she might have become. Bening's performance, typically strong, is all brittle self-punishing defeat. Karen's anger isn't only internal, she's got enough of it to spread around, keeping potential friends and would be lovers at a (safe) distance. Bening has played icy women before but Karen feels like a fresh creation. There's no theatricality to her rudeness, no joy in her solitude.

Elizabeth, meanwhile, has become a skilled successful lawyer. Like her mother she also lashes out, only she knows she's doing it. There's an unsettling 'I dare you' challenge in her gaze and she seems to greatly enjoy undermining the happiness of neighbors and angling for power in her relationship with her boss (Samuel L Jackson). It's a difficult unlikeable character to wrap your head around. Watts is typically intense but she doesn't find a way to make the ice queen thaw feel like more than a forced screenplay choice. There's a third would be Mother in the film "Lucy" (Kerry Washington) and the film also runs into some trouble here. All the parallels and connections began to feel too schematic and less than organic.

Writer/director Rodrigo García's career from Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Her through his television work and to Nine Things suggests that he loves actresses as much as I do. I thank him for that but next time I hope he loves them more spontaneously and energetically. Mother and Child has both sorrow and warmth but it needed more fire in its (pregnant) belly. C+

The Runaways
Joan Jett, Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart all came to town for the festival to promote this rock star bio film. And Sunday night Jett even performed -- she still loves rock and roll -- but I was not invited. The universe is cruel that way.


Though I had my worries about Kristen Stewart portraying this iconic 80s rock star, the mimicry seems to have encouraged her to drop some of the usual tics that she brings with her when playing fictional characters. She's fine here even though, as it turns out, she's nearly a supporting character despite her top billing. We meet Joan first but by the time Dakota Fanning takes the mic as the "ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb" jailbait, the catalyst for their success as the film argues, the film is hers. Or maybe it's Michael Shannon's? He gives the only comic performance in the film as their manager.

Director Floria Sigismondi has fashioned a visually exciting bio that is refreshingly punk in spirit: she doesn't shy away from the unsavory reckless behavior, the sexually fluid promiscuity (yes, Dakota & Kristen get it on), or the money-minded exploitation of underage Cherie. Speaking of: what will people make of the parallel exploitation of Dakota Fanning in this role? For all the snap of the music, the fun of the period details and the colorful aesthetic, The Runaways is hit and miss. Like many biopics, it suffers from a repetitive nature and some missed opportunities in focus and character development, particularly within the supporting cast who barely seem to exist. B

Catfish
The next day sidelined by general sickness miserabilism, I only took in one movie: the extremely buzzy documentary about... well, here's the catch. You're not allowed to talk about what it's about. I wrote a little bit more about it in my weekly Tribeca column. B+

What have you been watching this past week? Have you ever been to Sundance.
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Sundance Day 2: Last Flight Train To Vegetarianism

Time travel with me to yesterday
(and be back tonight for txtcritic's SAG liveblogging!)

So I did actually make it to Utah. Picked up press badge -- they apologized that my lanyard was pink. I promise you, festival volunteers, I'm not offended. Although I prefer the term 'lavender' -- and collapsed in hotel room for an hour. Went to first movie which, as it turned out, was a major slap-in-face perspective wise: it's tough to think about how much complaining I did about my 19 hour trip to get to a film festival in a resort town in the face of the world's largest hellish annual migration to places far less glamorous.

Last Train Home
Every year in China, millions upon millions of migrant workers travel out of the cities en masse for the Chinese New Year. It's the only time they see their families in the country all year. A more traditional documentary might have opened with a ton of onscreen text or talking head facts to tell you about this chaotic commuting phenomenon. Instead the film opens with evocative images of the migration, instantly engaging this Westerner's curiosity with only the slimmest factual details in text form, the rest you fill in from the drama you're watching. After the stunning opening, the film backtracks to watch a husband and wife working in the city and struggling to get tickets for this annual journey. Once we've settled in with the chatty worried mother and the quiet dad with unconcealed sadness all around his eyes, we travel with them to the bittersweet family reunion. It quickly sours. Their teenage daughter resents their annual lecture-heavy visits "stay in school, don't become like us" since she feels she barely knows them and they didn't raise her, their young son, who seems to have a bright sense of humor, might soon feel the same way since they harp on his grades continually. The family argues and everyone makes vague future promises everyone else knows they won't keep. And just when we're settling into the family drama, we're back in the city, the family separated again with the parents working their hands to the bone to provide cheap clothing to Westerners.


The subject is so rich that it could have easily prompted a multiple character examination or a lengthy complex fact-oriented talking head style docs. There's no 'talking heads' as it were, and even when the family members speak for the benefit of the camera, they'll rarely look at it... all of which makes this an intimate fly-on-the-wall experience. It's so hands off observational that it feels thisclose to being a dramatic narrative feature. For the most part this aesthetic is a strength but its not without its drawbacks. There's one breaking of the fourth wall moment that I'm not sure works -- despite taking place within the film's most gripping heartbreaking scene, since it makes you realize how much of the family story you might be missing since people know they're being filmed and all stories can be manipulated in the editing.

It's a heartbreaker but it's not without levity. We occasionally hear brief conversations among other migrant workers about their jobs, about the "fat" Westerners they know they're working for (the waist sizes on the jeans they make alarm them), about the Beijing Olympics (One man in a bar proclaims that the United States shouldn't win that many medals because they only have like 3 million citizens. Um...) and more of this would have been welcome since there's a lot of context and information that's only inferred but that we come closer to understanding in these tangential moments. This film was directed by a Canadian filmmaker and in addition to being quite a documentarian he also has one of the coolest names ever "Lixin Fan". A-

In other migration news... more important news apparently, he said sarcastically, considering the percentage of tweeting about it, Kristen Stewart arrived in Utah today. Didn't her mother tell her to dress warmly? This won't do.

photo src

I'm trying to find a way to love the Bella because I'm desperate to see The Runaways but the paparazzi (and Kristen) never help me in this goal. Does any super famous person today seem more bored by their fame? Note to Kristen: If you're bored with it, why shouldn't we be? The celebrity/civilian relationship is tricky and sacred and requires abstract reciprocation. When you enjoy it, we enjoy it. That's how it works, generally speaking. There are several ways to play the non-enjoyment of it and still delight fans but boredom is the trickiest one to get away with. That one usually only works if you're bored by it because of your principled devotion/obsession/commitment to something else.

But back to the movies.

Because I was exhausted after my 19 hour trip, I met Katey briefly for a cocktail party (turns out its hard to maneuver through crowded industry events when half the people are wearing huge winter coats. Who knew?), and then took in only one more film before sleep hit. Actually while sleep hit.

Vegetarian (Chaesikjuuija)
Lim Woo-seong's Korean debut feature was just weird enough to be thoroughly engaging despite the nodding off I was doing. [I can't say how well paced it was. It felt 7 hours long but I was struggling with heavy lids. not the movie's fault!] Vegetarians will definitely take issue with the movie for the simple reductive fact that the title character is gaunt and unhealthy and her diet is never separable from her mental illness: which, its immediately clear, is considerable.Why this isn't clear to her family members at the outset of the film is hard to gauge. Maybe they're all crazy, too?

All of the characters make questionable choices, but especially her violent domineering father and her brother-in-law who takes over the latter half of the movie with a new art project involving nude floral body art. Naturally, he wants his sister-in-law for the job.

Indeed, there's enough disturbing behavior in Vegetarian to power three films. At times it feels like the premise has done just that, with a psychological thriller, erotic liaison drama and family portrait all vying for control of the film and none of them really winning the war. Chea Min-Seo's performance in the lead role is brave. For whole scenes this haunted woman will seem barely there (an audience unfriendly choice given that she has to carry the film) but then flickers of truly vivid emotion: pain, alarm, sadness, arousal will flash across her face. Which is basically how the movie plays too: haunted and remote, with suddenly intriguing moments to seize your interest. B-

P.S. Given that two of the last three films I've seen from Korea have given actresses incredible roles (and that doesn't even include this year's failed Oscar submission "Mother", pictured right, which I haven't yet seen), I'm wondering if Korea is an unexplored cinematic landscape for my actressexuality? Are any of you well versed in Korean cinema. Are there more actressy riches awaiting me? Or is this all coincidental?

Halfway House: Kristen Stewart Has a Sh** Life, Okay?

Halfway through the day, pause a movie halfway through. What do you see?

Every life choice has its ups and downs. So goes the life of the actressexual. If you champion and obsess over actresses as I have since I was a little boy then every, oh, three to five years you will experience the superstar rise of an actress that you find unsupportable and that you wish the rest of the world would get over. Behold my 2007-2010 model: Kristen Stewart.

53 minutes into Adventureland, Kristen craps on Jesse

Jesse Eisenberg: I think you're incredible.
[pause. inhale]

Kristen Stewart: There's a lot of shit in my life.

I'm not ready for this...

There are many reasons to hate Kristen Stewart so she didn't really need to add taking a dump on adorabnoxious Jesse Eisenberg's dreams to the list. Since the Twilight movies have taken over the world, we will surely be seeing Kristen Stewart in dozens of movies over the next 5 or 6 years. She'll be in demand for every role for a twentysomething.

I'm not ready for this.

How will I tell one character from the next what will all the shoulder shrugging, painful intakes of breath, hair stroking, and general twitchiness that define every Stewart performance? Someone help me see things differently because I know I'll be seeing a lot of her. What am I missing? Please tell me that she'll at least play Joan Jett differently than this because I really want to enjoy The Runaways next year. I love Joan Jett. And I don't really remember her as the mopey, shrugging, self-loathing sort that Stewart specializes in.

So, no wonder that Eisenberg runs to the arms of "Lisa P" (Margarita Levieva) in Adventureland. Anything to break the monotony of Kristen's mannered & mopey miserabilism. As for the movie itself, I'm glad that some people found it so moving and worthwhile but I felt largely indifferent to it, though I did admire its partial commitment to languid summer moods and the tiny sparks of humor. And I liked Lisa P and her bestie dance partner Kelly. Loved the T-shirts, too. And the Giant Ass Panda. I'd pro'lly cheat to win one of those, too.
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The Blog Saga: New Link

Movies Kick Ass deconstructs yet another photoshop casualty (i.e. movie poster), this one for NINE . My thoughts on that film will hopefully be up later today... time is a tough taskmaster.
Cinema Styles looks forward to Luise Rainer's 100th birthday in January. We should all be celebrating! Especially since she'll (god willing) still be alive for it. She was Oscar's very first two-time acting winner... beating Spencer Tracy to the title by one year.
Topless Robot Batman's TV villains who should make the leap to the screen
Scanners (sarcastically) hates on ambiguous movie endings
Empire keeps track of Thor's ever expanding cast list so you don't have to. The only person this chart is missing (as far as I know) is Kat Dennings (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)
In Contention looks at the Adapted Screenplay Oscar race
Noh Way expresses photographic love for director/muse duos beyond Pedro & Penélope

Sexiest Men Alive?
popbytes is on the Brad Pitt beard watch. Did it cost Brad the title of...
People's "Sexiest Men Alive". It's not just Johnny Depp. Roughly every famous person shows up. Though...
Go Fug Yourself has a laugh about the Glee photoshoot therein
My New Plaid Pants, uninfluenced by mainstream rags, remembers his love for Jean Claude Van Damme [nsfw]

Twi-Hard
Bright Lights After Dark "tortured longing is the new coke" Erich's inner 13 year old makes a case for The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Erik Lundegaard gleans box office meaning: stop ignoring girls
Variety director Chris Weisz blames New Line for the way The Golden Compass (2007) turned out. You know, I liked that movie more than most but it was but 1/20th of what it could have been given how excellent the book is. But I'm not sure you can take this in a black & white way, blame wise. Why would they interfere so much there but not on The Lord of the Rings? Would they have interfered with Peter Jackson if he weren't such a goddamn visionary? I just think this is probably a gray area unless Weisz has suddenly shown new cinematic mastery with New Moon. And well...
Antagony and Ecstasy thinks it's "boring as fuck-all". And wouldn't that indicate some degree of problems with Weisz' powers behind the camera?

...and no, I have no real plans to see New Moon. Unless it falls into my lap, I shan't ever know if it improves upon the original (which wouldn't be a significant hurdle). Time and money are both precious commodity this time of year. I have so many movies left to see in such a short time frame before awards are passed out. So I'm not going to pay hard earned $ to be bored (and support Mormon causes financially) if I don't have to for Oscar write up purposes. I'm guessing I don't have to worry about this movie securing nominations. If I'm wrong I promise to stare at Kristen Stewart and her dead eyes (shouldn't she be playing the vampire?) for 2.5 hours and issue my mea culpas.
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