Wednesday, January 09, 2008

8th Use of Magic in Order of the Phoenix

So, I had this bright idea for a series in 2008 called 8th. Where I count out the 8th something of something. Whoa, specific! We'll play on every 8th / 16th / 24th unless you think it's stoopid. [I know it's the 9th. I'm tardy]

The movies, like the books, in the Harry Potter franchise use magic as wallpaper. It's always there in the background adding flavor. This is the interesting part (I love those newspapers with moving pictures. Why can't my blog shapeshift like that? ) Once you get to the spells, the big ones in the battle sequences, it's just boring CGI energy ball hurling. So I thought I'd count to the 8th use of magic in Order of the Phoenix, figuring they'd stack up quickly. It wouldn't take long.

After the Petronus charm, a prissy talking letter, a flashback to a sad Avada Kedrava, a little illuminating wand, some broomstick escapades, the unveiling of a hidden house, and teleporting twins... we get to a Weasley novelty magic, the extendable ear. Our heroes want to know what the adults are talking about in the other room. So they drop this nifty magic down the stairwell to listen in at the door.

Maybe I'm too old for these movies because I only vaguely remember wanting to hear what adults were saying behind closed doors when I was a kid... but now I know what you'd hear in most households and it's boring. You're better off watching TV, kids.


They hadn't count on Crookshanks' feline urges. Of course he's going to pounce at dangling objects anywhere near him. That's what pussycats do.

In a lick lipping cutaway in the next scene it's suggested that he ate the ear. ewww. But yeah, they'll eat anything... or at least consider doing so. But because all movies bleed into one in my cinephiliac hippocampus, I immediately pictured Crookshanks running off with the ear only to deposit it in Little Lumberton, causing all sorts of problems in a whole 'nother film.


Crookshanks, you ginger devil!

Hey, maybe David Lynch should direct Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows*
*

12 comments:

Rural Juror said...

hehe

I read somewhere that Guillermo del Toro wanted to do it. I'm up for it

Kamikaze Camel said...

Well, David Lynch was offered The Empire Strikes Back. Guillermo had to turn it down I believe. Or something. He's not doing it, I'm fairly certain of that.

Nice feature! I admit to wanting to listen to what's going on, not just adults. I'm a nosy busybody.

Gustavo Cruz said...

Is the top 5 coming out tonight?

Alex said...

I like the new series! You come up with the coolest things for each year...

I am just worried that it will tax you further. Sleep is good...

El Gigante said...

I can't wait to see what sort of eights you come up with Nate. A very intriguing and creative follow-up to 20:07. The possibilities are limitless.

Arkaan said...

David Lynch and Harry Potter would be unbelievably awesome.

NATHANIEL R said...

Gustavo,

the top five is already posted. it's the best picture nominees in the film bitch awards.

they're just not ranked. i need time for some other things. but you know the top ten ;)

J.D. said...

Okay, all you've got me thinking of right now is what you'll creatively make as a series in 2009... oy.

Gustavo Cruz said...

Yes, but I'm still waiting for your thoughts on There Will Be Blood. You said you'd wait the Year in Review to give them ;)

Brooke Cloudbuster said...

I'd love to see somebody completely out there do a Harry Potter film. Wong Kar-Wai or Hou Hsiao-Hien. Give the fans a good shaking up.

Emma said...

Hehe. Brilliant series.

Dorothy Valens said...

Sheee woooorrrre bluuuuuuueee valllvat...