Friday, July 23, 2010

Dakota Fanning is My Niece*

Last night I had to pick up my niece [uh... DAKOTA FANNING!] from a maximum security prison for drug possession. Inmates were eyeing her lecherously and wolf-whistling. I'm a lousy excuse for a bodyguard being of average height, bad back and zero muscle. So, nervous for her safety, I offered to hide her in my backpack. She transformed into an exact replica of a winnie the pooh stuffed animal (Such an actress!) and that's just where I hid her.

That didn't solve the problem of escaping the prison. There were no exit signs anywhere and seemingly infinite levels. I finally found an elevator made of plastic -- maybe this was the Sir Ian McKellen as Magneto wing? -- and began my escape.

And then I woke up.

Any celebs in your dreams last night?

*Not my real niece. Who would never be arrested for drug possession but IS blond and gorgeous like Dakota so the dream casting isn't terribly far off.

*

29 comments:

Michael B. said...

I had a dream that I was good friends with Courteney Cox and David Arquette...We hung out in Malibu, walked around and then went to dinner.

Also, had another dream (I had a nice 10 hours of sleep last night) that basically placed me, my family and friends in the beginning of Deathly Hallows along with the regular characters.

NATHANIEL R said...

my favorite thing about sleeping pills is they release a chemical in my brain that makes me dream about celebrities.

Michael C. said...

Clearly you want to protect child actress like Dakota Fanning from the horrible Hollywood machine of tabloid overexposure and drug addiction (the prison)by encouraging them to maintain their innocence (Winnie the Pooh)and lead the kind of career that will earn them a place of honor in your blog (the backpack).

No, seriously.

The fact that prison seemed to be an impossible labyrinth indicates you think the odds of your success are bad or that you still have Inception on the brain.

NATHANIEL R said...

Michael -- wow. I didn't even have to pay you and you've done psychoanalysts everywhere proud!

Dan said...

Not last night but earlier in the week I dreamt I was a 'good' Terminator being tracked by a 'baddie' Robocop. I got away after a few close calls and woke up before the big showdown. I think that would make a good movie: The Terminator Versus Robocop - Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to a leading role, with someone left field in the role of Robocop - how about Samuel L Jackson!

Philip said...

This is so coincidental simply because I've been having the CRAZIEST dreams lately, but I've been remembering them so vividly. Like, I'll wake up and remember everything, and SO much happens.

In terms of celebs -
Paris Hilton randomly haha.
I was a part of the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

And in one of the first dreams where I started dreaming like this, Kristen Chenoweth was in my apartment (which I don't have btw) and I screamed like a little fangirl, told her I loved her so much, and gave her a hug. She was really nice. But I'm not even that huge a fan of her lol. I mean, she's outrageously talented and amazing, but I've never been obsessed or anything.

Interesting. It's made me enjoy sleep even more because I've been having these crazy dreams that I remember so well.

Joe W said...

Actually yeah. I had a dream I was at Comic-Con and I spotted a few. One that I can remember the most was Julianne Moore for some reason and she was a lot taller than I expected.

pomme said...

A night i dreamed Angelina Jolie eat James McAvoy after have seen "Wanted"(she's so gaunt!)

badmofo said...

The other night I dreamt Jane Lynch won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress and Jane Krakowski had a rage stroke.

vg21 said...

:)), Nathaniel, great surreal dream. Coincidentally, just tonight I dreamed that Meryl Streep visited me in our old home, flying to Hungary in a hot-air balloon from the U.S. (!) However, her face looked more of Jeanne Moreau's but I convinced myself it was because she was not wearing a make-up, though I have already seen her without make-up in pictures, so I wasn't entirely convinced. It was quite creepy.

I must have eaten something I shouldn't have before going to bed, and this, together with revisiting Mamma Mia! earlier yesterday had this effect, I guess:).

Joe said...

awesome dream.

A few weeks ago I had a dream where Glenn Close chased me all around my house and neighborhood trying to kill. And this wasn't Fatal Attraction Glenn Close, but just Glenn Close in a suit (Patty Hewes style). She just walked as I ran. That woman was terrifying.

You know your an actressexual when...

NATHANIEL R said...

omg. i love hearing these stories. MORE. more dreams please.

Alex said...

Grandma and I went to see Anthony Hopkins at Safeway. He was doing a book signing to promote his new Mexican cookbook.

I also had a black and white dream recently where young Woody Allen and I were at a Yankees game.

The last time there was a dream prompt, I shared that Michelle Pfeiffer took me to a cave where her, Debra Winger, Kathleen Turner, and Mia Farrow hide from us. Best dream ever, so I thought I'd share again.

Michael said...

I had a nightmare where I found out Penelope Cruz was shot by a transvestite and in critical condition (and things weren't looking very hopeful). The dream moved in slow motion after the words "Penelope Cruz was shot" were told to me. I woke up thinking it was real for like the first three minutes of my day. It was just awful!

NATHANIEL R said...

Alex -- i am so jealous of that dream that I am going to hire Cobb and Ariadne and Eames to steal it for me.

badmofo said...

@Michael -- From one Cruz obsessive to another: you're not alone. :-D

Funny thing is... that actually sounds plausible in an Almodóvar sort of way.

Alex said...

Believe me, I am definitely okay with letting Ariadne in, but I'd be worried if you bring Cobb, Mal would be right behind you!

John T said...

I had a dream that I was running through the rain-soaked streets of Paris with my husband Heath Ledger, when all of a sudden we ran into Annette Bening, who was either in character or making a movie and then Heath had to make the movie too so I spent the rest of the night with Thelma Schoonmaker and Sen. Barbara Boxer trying to find the film set.

Another reason to eat pizza before bed.

Anonymous said...

i got really into swank v benning once.. i had a dream where i was in the big house.. hilary was my wife and benning was my maid.. best dream ever!!

Ryan said...

Well I haven't had a dream recently about a celebrity, but I know I will tonight.

Meryl Streep graced my work with her presence this morning AND I MISSED HER. I'm more upset than anyone should be, but if I get to randomly see one celebrity I want it to be her.

MattyD. said...

This weekend, after watching Twister, I had a dream that a terrible tornado was barrelling towards my house and I was catatonic with fear. Luckily, John Mayer came to my rescue and we ran away as the tornado was literally inches behind us (because no matter how fast a tornado is in Twister, Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton are faster). After he brought me to safety we fell and love and were married. However, this straight chick was trying to steal my man. So right before the dream ended I was threatening to kill a ho.

Seeking Amy said...

About a week ago I had a dream where I was having tea in my living room with Cate Blanchett and Nicole Kidman, as well as interviewing Nicole. Cate made a jab at Nicole, saying something all her relationships being failures and I defended her as Nicole was holding back tears. Then I drove them back to the airport and Cate pushed me out of the car in the middle of the freeway and drove away with Nicole, I ran after her a little but then woke up.

Ben said...

I'm a teacher.

I had a dream that Jane Lynch came in to observe my teaching and evaluate me. She was very friendly and I told her I was a big fan of her work, especially Best in Show. My evaluation went well, except I had empty beer bottles on the students' desks....

Caroline said...

A few years ago I dreamed that I was in a labyrinth overcoming the most bizarre obstacles. Will Smith appeared, and you would think that he would rescue me, guns blazing and all, but he only winked and walked away. Thanks a lot.

I also once dreamed that Ben Whishaw was my college professor. I think that's supposed to have dirty implications.

Anonymous said...

No shit, last night's dream I was hanging with Tilda Swinton in the town that I live in, and I skipped some sort of appointment to go drink milk with her. The funny thing is i'm not too familiar with her work, mainly just her GoFugYourself stuff :P

Twas awesome.

Dimitra said...

Garrett Heldund, due to Tron:Legacy obsession I believe. :P

But I can't really recall what was going on.

Nick Duval said...

A bit late to the party, but I had some sort of bizarre dream that I can't exactly recollect last night that involved the movie "Biutiful" and it displayed everything that happened in that movie that I read about, including I believe the close-up of Javier Bardem's face.

I sometimes dream movies that I haven't seen.

One time I even dreamed I was going to see "Waltz With Bashir" and "Slumdog Millionaire" a second time in theaters.

NATHANIEL R said...

Nick --i do that too. most recurring dream as SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. I had like 3 or 4 nightmares about it before i ever saw it.

Dimitra -- hmmmm Garrett

Anon -- get familiar. your dream will be even more awesome once you fully appreciate the Swinton.

Seeking Amy -- Cate Blanchett sounds like a jerk!

James T said...

Last night I dreamt I was in a room with Dianne Wiest and someone else and we were having aan agument but I don't remember what it was about.

Fighting with the lovely Wiest? Is my life THAT problematic??