Two sad farewells to octogenarians of cinematic note, director Irvin Kershner and actor Leslie Nielsen.
"Kersh" (by the camera) about to shoot Han, Leia and Lando.
I will forever appreciate Irvin Kershner (1923-2010), who died today, for making the best of the Star Wars films The Empire Strikes Back (1980). Yes, long before George Lucas ruined his own classic franchise, he once entrusted the directing of them (at least to a certain degree) to others. I haven't yet read many obits, but I'm hoping that some of them will recognize that it's hardly his only contribution to the movies; Star Wars has a way of gobbling up the internet oxygen, doesn't it? Though Kershner's filmography isn't exactly robust, other notable films include the thriller The Eyes of Laura Mars (1978), the last (unofficial) James Bond film with Sean Connery Never Say Never Again (1983) and the underseen but by most accounts praiseworthy Barbra Streisand film Up the Sandbox (1972).
Here's a fond farewell from a journalist who met him in 1978.
Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010) passed away yesterday in his sleep at the age of 84 after battling pneumonia. Confession: I've never seen the Naked Gun films. That's an odd thing to lead with when saying goodbye to the hilarious Leslie Nielsen but my point is this: his late career work was so often quoted that you felt like you'd seen it -- or at least heard those deadpan line readings -- from how deeply it permeated pop culture.
Like most everyone who lived through the Eighties I lovedAirplane! (1980) and watched it god knows how many times with friends. Other key films include Forbidden Planet (1956), The Poseidon Adventure (1972) but in his last quarter century on the screen, he was leading parodic movies like the Naked Gun series and Mel Brooks Dracula: Dead and Loving It () or making appearances in other comic franchises like the Scary Movie films. I love imaginary through-lines in careers so I chuckle at the way he's introduced in the Forbidden Planet trailer and especially that "I didn't bring my bathing suit." / "What's a bathing suit?" exchange.
Since Anne Francis doesn't know what a bathing suit is, we undoubtedly know how she'd answer Airplane's immortal "Have you ever seen a grown man naked?" line. Seriously. Though that famous quote doesn't belong to Nielsen, anything that reminds you of Airplane! will surely remind you of Leslie Nielsen. Say it with me now
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
Journalistic Skepticism Oooh, it's a must read listen. Luke has collected the film scores this year. Which is your favorite and who do you think is winning the Oscar for Best Score? Cinema Blend smart post about confusingly similar 2011 romantic comedies Friends With Benefits and No Strings Attached. One twin thing that isn't mentioned: Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, the female leads from the respective movies are sexually entanged together in Black Swan. Towleroad A bit about Spielberg's Lincoln. Plus, my continued Harry Potter agnosticism . I don't even wanna see this one. Five hours to tell that book? And I've heard that they do spend lots of time moping in that tent. Argh. I don't even dislike the movies really (except the first two) but 9 years is more than enough for one series. Wrap that damn thing up already! Austin Translation has some fun advice for future Disneyland travellers. I.Z. Reloaded amazing Star Wars inspired art. Vulture looks at the possibilities in a post Harry Potter world for Daniel Radcliffe.
Finally, have you read this great New York Times Cher profile piece? I particularly loved this bit about her surreal fame-filled life.
It’s an odd existence, Cher’s. When she recounted a late-night gabfest with two girlfriends in the bedroom of her Malibu manse not long ago, the gabbers in question were Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin. When she flashed back to a favorite exercise class in Beverly Hills decades ago, the fellow crunchers and squatters were Raquel Welch, Ali MacGraw and, to a more limited and grudging extent, Barbra Streisand, who “would go over, do two little things, and then walk around and talk,” Cher said.
She refers to most of these people by first name or nickname only, figuring you can fill in the blanks. Nicky is Nicolas Cage, Kurty is Kurt Russell, Mich is Michelle Pfeiffer and Nony is Winona Ryder, who starred with Cher in “Mermaids” in 1990 but suffered a career setback after a subsequent arrest for shoplifting.
“It’s such a drag that some crimes are cool and some crimes are uncool,” Cher said.
Ha. You know why that "snap out of it" scene in Moonstruck is so infinitely funny/resonant? Because loving Cher (in ridiculous proportions to how much you probably should love Cher) comes so naturally; you have to be slapped to break her spell!
True story: Last night I was supposed to meet The Boyfriend for an event and I got confused about where we were meeting. I ended up at that big wall-painting of BurlesqueI shared last week (which wasn't where I was supposed to be). A minute later he showed up just as I was ringing him.
"How'd you know where I was?" I ask.
"I knew you'd gravitate towards Cher." *
JA from MNPP here. New York's Comic Con went down this previous weekend in the massive Javits Center here on the island of Manhattan, and if you were there amongst the stacks of dusty Fantastic Four comics and shiny samurai sword replicas and Jason Voorhees masks you might've seen me wandering around in a glassy-eyed stupor. Every Comic Con I've been to breeds the same overstimulated dullness - within a couple of hours my pupils dilate and seeing things like a ten-foot tall Orc tickling Wonder Woman just starts to seem normal. This happens every day! Still, a couple of things stood out this year and I shall now document them.
10 Random Things I Learned at NYCC This Year
01Girls really like the Silk Spectre costume - Or maybe it's that they know the boys like seeing them in the Silk Spectre costume - either way, I saw about twenty different ladies wearing the slutty bumblebee ensemble from Zach Snyder's adaptation of Alan Moore's seminal comic book. The film hadn't come out yet when the last Comic Con happened here in NYC - in 2009 NYCC happened in February, while they moved it into October for 2010 (a permanent move), and Watchmen came out in March 0f 2009 - so I don't remember seeing the costume last year, but it was literally - literally! - everywhere you turned this time around. Does this make Malin "Baby Girl" Akerman a geek icon?
02 Danny McBride's a trooper - The panel for David Gordon Green's Your Highness was at the geek-freaking hour of 10:30am on Saturday. Keep in mind you've got at least an hour's wait to even get into the building at that hour, plus with the commute there... needless to say it took me some effort to drag my bum there, but I did. Then I heard through the press-vine that McBride & Co. had been partying hard until the wee hours of morning before the panel and I felt a little less super for my own efforts, since I'd been in bed by 11:30. James Franco seemed dazed, but Danny McBride was firing on all cylinders. Funny man.
And the footage they showed from the film, while definitely geared to the Comic Con audience - Natalie Portman's thong! Puppets smoking from a bong! (hey that rhymes) - was every ounce the bizarre mish-mash I could've hoped the film would be. It looks terrific. I don't entirely understand David Gordon Green's directing career, but it's been a pleasure watching it play out so far.
03 Geeks will stand in a very long line to watch a commercial - This is nothing new to Cons, I've seen it at every one I've gone to, but it always baffles me. The fine folks behind the upcoming release of the Alien Anthology, as they call it, had a booth where they'd close you up in a sleeping pod and right up in your face was a TV screen and it'd show a bunch of clips from the four Alien movies with some sound effects echoing in your ears. The end. And yet the line never stretched less than fifty people long! I suppose the T-shirt they gave you that cleverly stated "Want A Hug?" had something to do with it, but still. (I totally did it anyway, and I cherish my T-shirt.)
04 The family that geeks together, is adorable together - I wish my parents had dressed me up like a Jedi or Baby Yoda and taken me to these sorts of things. So I could immediately fall asleep. Damn you, parents!
05 In The Thing, There Be Tentacles - While I'm still unsure about a prequel to John Carpenter's brilliant 1982 film, itself a remake, the trailer for Matthijs van Heijningen Jr's film - which has made its way online in an exceptionally shaky, hand-held version - had a couple of quick glances of their take on the plant-animal alien monster things and they did excite this nerd's senses. Although only glimpsed, they look right, which in this era of lousy CG was a concern. Now let's just hope they can nail the right paranoiac tone needed too.
06 Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer are pros at this - I can only imagine how many of these events these ladies have entertained at this point, but the dynamic Battlestar Galactica duo had the audience eating out of their palms. They have a terrific rapport - they are apparently great friends in real life - and joked that they're waiting for the reboot of Cagney & Lacey to come along to showcase it. I would watch that.
07 But Michelle Forbes is scary - I don't care that she told us she's nothing like Admiral Cain in Battlestar of the maenad MaryAnn on True Blood or [insert the name of every character she's ever played] and that she's really a hippie-type in real life - there's a reason she's successful for playing harsh ladies, and she made me nervous. I had to keep checking to make sure everybody's eyes weren't going all black, because with all due respect the audience at a Battlestar Galactica panel at Comic Con is not the audience I want to be having an orgy with.
08 M Night Shyamalan, amiable dude - I defended M Night for a very long time, well past when most people had bailed ship - I liked The Village, and I liked parts of Lady in the Water - but the one-two punch of that book about him and The Happening (shudder) kind of killed any arguments I could make anymore. So I only sat through half of his panel by happenstance, in order to get a good seat for the panel following him (on AMC's The Walking Dead, which looks epic by the way). But he came off really well! It was for the 10th Anniversary of Unbreakable, a terribly underrated film, and you could tell he really loves the film and that its negative reception put him into a bit of a tailspin. He came alive showcasing the storyboards for the train scene at the start of the film - you can say a lot of things about him, but I don't think you can argue about the meticulous craft on display. And he was fascinating to watch in discussion of that.
09 According to Frank Darabont, Zombies are the new Vampires - Which seems like an odd argument to make, right? The last decade has seen every iteration of zombies you could ever imagine - it's not like they need to make a comeback to be the hip thing. I get that he was selling his Zombie TV Show, and it does look terrific. But isn't it really Frankenstein Monster's time to shine again? I want sexy Frankenstein, dang it. (Yes, SNL got there already.)
10 You haven't lived until you've seen Super Mario dancing to Michael Jackson's "Beat It" - This one is self-explanatory, and true. You might not know it's true. But then you see it happen, and you understand its truth. The fundamental sort.
I saw Carrie Fisher's one woman show Wishful Drinking on its closing weekend so I didn't write about it. I didn't want to recommend something that was unable to be seen. However, if you're in the New York/New Jersey area, you have one last chance to see it live. She's filming it for posterity in June. Here's the info.
No word yet on exactly what it's for. I suspect some sort of pay cable airing. Maybe short theatrical?
The show is very funny whether you're into self-deprecated celebrity wit, Old Hollywood lore or Star Wars trivia. The highlight of the show for me was an absurd celebrity genealogy chart that springs from one of Hollywood's most legendary scandals: the breakup of Carrie's parents Eddie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds ("America's Sweetheart") once La Liz wanted Eddie for herself.
Fisher also picks at Princess Leia like a scab. I'm sure the Princess Leia / Star Wars bits were the hook for any Broadway tourists who picked up tickets during the show's initial run but for me it's the weakest setpiece of the show. Still funny though, don't get me wrong...
Leia and double get some sun in the Yuma desert on the set of Return of the Jedi
My biggest gripe with the one woman show is that it was too short. I could listen to Fisher yammer on for at least twice the length. I would totally love a sequel or better yet a miniseries wherein Carrie delves deeper into her onscreen Warren Beatty fling in Shampoo, or the making of Postcards From the Edge (but Debbie gets a lot of attention in the show so perhaps she felt she covered that).
There wasn't a peep about that Wizard of Oz riff she starred in called Under the Rainbow that everyone has long since forgotten about. Seriously, mention that one aloud anywhere and people will be like "what? never heard of it"! ...even if they lived through the 1980s. And isn't there anything to say about antics on the set of When Harry Met Sally?
I suppose I should buy Wishful Drinking in book form since I've read all of her other books. Her best, if you ask me, is Surrender the Pink which was the follow up to her bestselling debut Postcards... (which is quite different than the movie version though Carrie wrote both of them).
Variety finds the new Robin Hood too self serious. [gladiator voice] Are you not entertained unsurprised? Movie|Line "The Summer of Discontent" why is this summer so empty and 2011 so packed? USA Today the latest info on Julie Taymor's The Tempest starring Helen Mirren Boing BoingStar Wars in 2 minutes with Legos Dear Old Hollywood a Goonies 25th anniversary celebration coming up in June
Marie ClaireFatal Attraction going on stage by Christmas. Happy uh Christmas bunny haters Just Jared Awwww, the Supermen together. Makes one miss Christopher Reeve though (sigh) In Contention poster and images from Biutiful starring Javier Bardem After Elton Neil Patrick Harris ranks Hollywood men. I can't believe he went there Queerty why can't Cam & Mitch kiss on Modern Family? This is a weird topic since same sex kissing happens literally every week on Brothers & Sisters. That particular TV taboo has long since been broken
Finally, have you seen the Betty White SNL yet?
This compilation is helpful for those of us who get around to these things later. I tried to watch yesterday on Hulu -- I can't be bound by air times! -- and then reading opinion pieces from around the web I realized that I'd somehow missed some of the skits. So I'm hoping this video has them all. Which was your favorite? I lol'ed about the census taker (the 'kitten' in Betty's lap... priceless) and "just let her stay home and lez". Teehee
Michael ReidelHedwig and the Angry Inch made it from stage to screen and now it's going back again. [Insert a billion exclamation points here] The cherry gummi bear on top: John Cameron Mitchell will reprise his classic role. This show is a-ma-zing live. One of the best experiences I've ever had in the theater way back in 1999 or so. You must come to NYC and see it. Between this and Rabbit Hole, John Cameron Mitchell may have an incredible 2010 MNPP alerts us to the must-read sounding book "The Girl in Alfred Hitchcock's Shower". I already want this to be a movie.
MovieLine an imaginary apology from James Cameron for making you sit through Avatar Cinema Blend Anna Faris to get all Goldie Hawn in a remake of Private Benjamin. Hey she sold Cameron Diaz with great flair, didn't she? The Playlist has details on Steven Soderbergh's Contagion. The cast list is almost frighteningly A-list huge. Even if it's a disaster, it'll get a SAG ensemble nod. Just Jared Reese Witherspoon in talks to play a country singer (again). If at first you do succeed...repeat. Banana Penis [nsfw] Did this predate An Education or is someone using movies brilliantly for safe sex promotion? Empire State of Mind pretty fun Star Wars by way of Alicia Keys video Popnography skewers Miley Cyrus and The Last Song and suggests a gay alternative Blabbeando If you're tired of catty remarks about Ricky Martin's coming out, try this on for size. Definitely something to think about. (Le Sigh)... Isabelle Huppert to guest star on Law & Order: SVU. The apocalypse is nigh. Someone please shoot me!
Finally, remember that unusual zombie movie I told you about that won the Nashville Film Festival? It's called Make-Out With Violence and if you're curious about it you can now "save it" to your Netflix queue.
If the movie gets enough 'saves' Netflix will purchase copies to rent out. I really marvel at how many ways there are to distribute movies now and how hard it still is for filmmakers despite all those channels, even when they have a quality movie on their hands. I don't think Make-Out is a perfect movie but it sure as hell was made by people with a filmmaking eye. And it makes you want someone to give the Deagol Brothers more money to make a second feature and see where their talents can take them. This is one of the obvious drawback of film festivals... you see work by all sorts of interesting off-the-map talent and then you return to the real world and notice how many hacks are so gainfully employed by Hollywood. Not that film festivals don't have their own "keep your day job" failures ... but this movie is definitely not one of them.
By now, Pandorans have probably already begun weeping, swaying side to side from their seated, cross-legged position in communal mourning. Only Eywa can save Avatar's Oscar chances now. [Listen to the podcast for more on foot-in-mouth James Cameron] but Eywa doesn't take sides so Pandora is basically SOL. Like most pundits, I'm predicting The Hurt Locker to triumph. If Avatar does manage a Best Picture win, Goliath dodging David's stone-throw if you will, it'll be the first Science Fiction film ever to nab the top honor. Incredible but true.
Let's take a look at Oscar's history with science fiction films. You're a savvy crowd so it probably goes without saying that the Academy thinks that the Visual Effects and Sound categories are the only default place to award sci-fi pictures. They don't even tend to win art direction prizes and they're also rarely seen in costume design categories, Star Wars being an exception on both fronts.
The Only SciFi Best Picture Nominees
1971 A Clockwork Orange (4 nominations, 0 wins)
1977 Star Wars (10 nominations, 6 wins. Plus 1 special Oscar)
1982 E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (9 noms, 4 wins)
2009 District 9 (4 noms, ??? wins)
2009 Avatar (9 noms, ??? wins) The expansion to ten Best Pictures ended the drought with a double whammy! I suppose if you loosen your definition of sci-fi up a bit you might find another...
Its Reputation Suggests It Was Nominated. It Wasn't
1968 2001: A Space Odyssey (4 nominations, 1 win but no Best Picture spot)
1977 Close Encounters of the Third Kind (8 noms, 1 special prize but no Best Picture spot. One can assume it came very close to the shortlist)
1982 Bladerunner (2 noms: art direction and visual effects, both of which it lost. Utter Insanity... especially when it comes to the art direction. Possibly the most influential work in that category in the past 30 years or so)
The Only Oscar-Nominated Performances from Sci-Fi Films It's possible I've forgotten someone(s). Help me out in the comments if I have.
Melinda Dillon, Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
Alec Guiness, Star Wars (1977)
Laurence Olivier, The Boys From Brazil (1978)
Jeff Bridges, Starman (1984)
Don Ameche, Cocoon (1985... winner)
Sigourney Weaver, Aliens (1986)
Brad Pitt, Twelve Monkeys (1995) Which should go to show us that that brief burst of Zöe Saldana talk was just that, talk. They don't go for acting in sci-fi movies even when they aren't given computer assists. If you included fantasy films, you'd have to add. But I'm trying to keep this sci-fi.
Random Sampling of Famous Flicks and Oscar's Reaction
1927 Metropolis (zero nominations. Inside Oscar lists this as an eligible film that failed to be nominated in the Academy's first official year as an organization. But the IMDB lists its release as March 1927 which was before the eligibility period which stretched from August 1927 through July 1928)
1931 Frankenstein (snubbed)
1935 Bride of Frankenstein (1 nomination, sound recording)
1951 The Day the Earth Stood Still (zero nominations... though the Golden Globes noticed its Bernard Herrmann score)
1953 The War of the Worlds (3 nominations, 1 win)
1959 Journey to the Center of the Earth (3 nominations)
1966 Fantastic Voyage (5 nominations, 2 wins)
1968 Planet of the Apes (2 nominations and 1 special Oscar)
1968 Barbarella (snubbed)
1973 Soylent Green (snubbed)
1979 Alien (2 nominations and 1 win)
1980 The Empire Strikes Back (3 nominations, 1 win. Plus 1 special Oscar)
1984 Dune (1 nomination, sound)
1984 The Terminator (snubbed)
1986 The Fly (1 nomination and win, makeup)
1989 The Abyss (4 nominations, 1 win)
1991 T2: Judgment Day (6 nominations and 4 wins)
1997 The Fifth Element (1 nomination, sound effects)
1999 The Matrix (4 nominations and wins: editing, sound, sound fx and visual fx)
2002 Minority Report (1 nomination, sound)
2007 Transformers (3 nominations, both sounds and a visual effects. The safe categories for massive grossing sci-fi movies that aren't "respectable", critically speaking)
Biggest Awards Haul To Date That honor still goes to Star Wars which managed to take home 1 special and 6 competitive Oscars. E.T., T2 and The Matrix are tied for second place with 4 competitive trophies each.
So the question is...
How will Avatar fare on Sunday night? I think we can safely expect four statues: Art Direction, Cinematography, Visual Effects and at least one of the Sound categories. If it can manage a second sound category win and just one more trophy (Score? Film Editing?) it'll tie Star Wars as Oscar's favorite sci-fi flick. But my guess is it's going to fall short of that lofty goal, a mark which is itself considerably shorter than some pundits were guessing a month ago when a lot of people thought it was taking two handfuls of gold men. The Hurt Locker has too much heat to lose the race... or does it? You tell me. *
linkage Arts Beat When Woody Met Ingmar. How have I never heard this story before? Love it Low Resolution hilarious take on the latest Twilight: New Moon trailer i09 an interview with a Dollhouse writer on this last great episode Culture Snob describe your taste in horror in 10 movies. Interesting take on a "best" list In Contention Guy Lodge plays contrarian for Precious Some Came Running gets nostalgic for gauzy Jenny Agutter and mack daddy Michael York in 70s 'classic' Logan's Run
This is the time of year when everyone who really loves movies remembers that not all of the best movies of any given year come out in the last two months of the year and it's so annoying that everyone pretends that they do Man Made Movies the online Sam Rockwell Oscar for Moon campaign Attention Deficit Disorderly great piece on The Hurt Locker and Jeremy Renner's Sgt. James
gay-gay-gay Metro Ang Lee on the Brokeback Mountain kiss Queerty Dustin Lance Black (Milk) banned from a college campus in Michigan. He had too many opinions! (omg, we wouldn't want that a college!) Oh Michigan, home state o' mine. I love you but you embarrass me sometimes
Finally... Would you bite into this dead tauntaun cake? Edible intestines for your own intestines. Ewww but Yum! As much as I'm over Star Wars in my own life, I sometimes have nothing but admiration for its staunch fandom. Here's hoping one day people build whole wedding themes and desserts out of their Moulin Rouge! or I Heart Huckabee fandom! That's just two random examples of newer films worth loving and being creative with all the live long day.
Let's continue that silly reveal of my "Movies of the Eighties" scrapbook. I'm still hoping to locate the "Movie Stars of the Eighties" companion volume in which I ranked all the actors and actresses of the decade. Wouldn't that be a ROTFL experience? If I can find it I will share, despite the loss of dignity it will surely occasion.
Behold! To your left is the tv guide cover that started it all. I guess it wasn't an actual TV Guide as my personal mythology has always relayed but whatever television magazine thingie was inserted into the Detroit Free Press back in the day. That cover right there started my whole Oscar obsession -- look how worn, damaged and fingered it is. I thumbed through it so many times. What is this naked gold man they call Oscar??? This cover unlocked my latent awards mania. I had seen Tootsieand E.T. (massive family friendly hits both) but it was the center statue that seized my imagination. Soooo shiny.
Shiny shiny sha-na-na-na. Shiny shiny bad times behind me
From there I became more and more movie obsessed. Based on the "everything I've seen" scribblings it looks like I was seeing about 25-40 films a year. Not all of the clipping collages matched the screening lists. I can't recall exactly what dragged me to theaters back then, but Dennis Quaid was a factor.
Do you know the 14 films displayed there? Some of them I barely remember...
The 1988 and 1989 pages are heavily Burtonesque with a late blooming burst of Pfandom by way of The Fabulous Baker Boys. I thought this clipping below was an interesting time capsule: a note about who might play The Joker before Batman (1989) was even filming. It was superhero casting speculation before steroids the internet.
It's smudgy but it reads
Although an unknown will be considered for Batman, Jack Nicholson (far right) has been mentioned in connection with the Joker. _____'s personal picks for the role are Ray Liotta (Something Wild, left) or Willem Dafoe (Platoon, center).
For the Record: Heath Ledger was 10 years old when Tim Burton's Batman arrived in theaters. Who imagined that Nicholson's Joker would eventually have to stand down?
If you want to see more of this scrapbook, say so in the comments.
But I wanted to wrap up this part 2 peak with this: Lists! Apparently I thought the best "losing sanity" performances of the 80s were:
With the distance of time, I'd only feel comfortable standing by the bunny boiler. Not that there isn't much to admire in Streep's 1985 performance. But why only four performances? The magic number is five, Nathaniel, hello. Everyone knows that.
Stranger still is the "best sequels of the decade" ranking
That order is ALL wrong: Jedi is a sorry sibling to Empire,The Wrath of Khan crushes other Trek adventures and sentient humans and drooling monsters alike recognize that Aliens is the sequel of the 80s as well as one of the best action flicks ever. I like to think that somewhere inside I knew this and thus felt compelled to scribble A-L-I-E-N-S in large capital expanding letters.
Finally, there's the list of the movies I saw most often, "Again and Again and Again" This one honestly surprised me. I don't remember seeing some of these movies multiple times. I never see things more than twice in the theaters now. Unless the movies are called Moulin Rouge!
My parents are moving, abandoning my childhood home, and I spent my holiday going through old boxes in storage. It's hard to part with any of these secret keys to unlock my childhood. There's heaps and heaps of homemade comic books featuring my own superhero creations which I shan't share (because they were never optioned for movies... not because they are totally embarrassing. Uh, yeah. Not because of that). Plus lots and lots of drawings of various X-Men, Madonna, Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker.
Many photo scrapbooks were uncovered including "MOVIES OF THE EIGHTIES"
front cover: Raging Bull (I hadn't seen it. I just knew it was "important" somehow), E.T. and Aliens
Turns out The Film Experience was no fluke. I was always writing about movies... but when I was in junior high and high school, the writing was in list-making form and smelled like rubber cement instead of Apple computer.
inside covers: Silkwood, Crimes of Passion, Terms of Endearment
The front and back covers are completely mainstream / boy friendly, and yet the inside jackets are so actressexual. It's as if my love for actresses was still reasonably contained, with Meryl Streep and Kathleen Turner whispering to me in pupa stage.
I was absolutely obsessed with the unseen-by-me Crimes of Passion (MPAA ratings scandal!) though I'm not sure I ever asked myself why... Kathleen Turner was enough cover for and emblem of any prurient reason.
back cover: the infamous gold bikini, Return of the Jedi
Somewhere -- I cannot find it! -- there is a half-formed MOVIES OF THE NINETIES scrapbook which I began in college... but abandoned once the glorious internet took over my life and made scrapbooks actual items of nostalgia rather than just containers for the same. Part 2 coming soon. some random funny clippings from the book. *
Any interest in coming with me to tues midnight Transformers 2 on IMAX? Only drawbacks:
1. It's $20 2. We'd have to get there early 3. It's Transformers 2
After I recovered from the LOL'ing following #3, I said no. No way am I giving $20 to Michael Bay. I assume Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will beat Up to steal that #2 box office hit of the year position and I weep for the (safely assumed) qualitative drop in that switcheroo. I don't understand the Transformers phenom. A lot of movies are good at blowing shit up and some of them actually have narrative and visual coherency to go with the pretty fireballs and lovely dust clouds. Why not line up for those? And as I bitched when the first Transformers picture rolled around, the only reason I ever enjoyed the robots in disguise was watching them transform out of their disguises. If I want liquid metal, I'm totally just watching Terminator 2: Judgment Day. When anything can become anything with high speed morphing, the joy is lost. There's no reveal to stun you with the hot joy of brilliantly designed internal architecture... "That came from that. OHMYGOD it did!"
Plus, apart from Megan Fox, I can't tell the robots apart.
10 Favorite Movie Robots (not always in disguise)
I went with mostly the android'ish since I like people better than things. Strangely, I couldn't think of any cool animal robots from the movie (apart from the reliably creepy mechnical spider device that filmmakers from Michael Crichton to Steven Spielberg are fond of) but I'm sure they exist. The only ones that came to mind were incredibly stupid... like that mechanical owl in Clash of the Titans (1981). I only pray that the remake is sensible enough to ditch the owls. At least any owls that require batteries.
Honorable Mention: The Buffy Bot I always want to include Buffy the Vampire Slayer in every list. But it's a tv show damnit. Buffy always confuses me because it's better than much cinema. The Buffy Bot was another reminder, as if we needed one, that Sarah Michelle Gellar was shamefully robbed of Emmy nominations for 7 (give or take) years. My god, she could barely get arrested at the Globes. Only one nomination there? and that was right at the start.
10 Herbie the Love Bug That's a robot, right? Artificial intelligence, moving parts, etcetera. Or is he magical like Frosty the Snowman? Either way he survived Monte Carlo, a failed spinoff tv series, continual underestimation of his gifts, injuries, numerous drivers and Lindsay Lohan. Plus, he's totally cute and wins extra points for nostalgia since they (literally) don't make them like they used to. Volkswagen Beetle RIP (1938-2003)
09 R2-D2 If you had asked me as a kid "what is your favorite sound?" I probably would have started beeping like R2-D2 but after the childhood apocalypse that was Star Wars: Episode I, all things Star Wars have since been downgraded. Hence, #09.
08 HAL 9000 & Gertie HAL (voiced by Douglas Rain) is of course super smooth and insinuatingly creepy but I wanted to include Gertie (voiced by Kevin Spacey) for memorably riffing on the collective memory of HAL in the new movie Moon, reviewed here in case you have finally had the chance to see it.
07 Gigolo Joe & Pris Mmmm, pleasure models. It helps that one of them looks like Jude Law and the other has the endless legs and Amazonian kink of primo Daryl Hannah. I still think there's a classic sci-fi film waiting to be made that's ABOUT a pleasure model rather than expecting them to vivify the sidelines like they do in A.I.Artifial Intelligence and Blade Runner. But who would finance erotic sci-fi these days? Eroticism is a no no. Think of all the trouble Robert Rodriguez had trying to remake Barbarella.
Ian Holm, Lance Henriksen and Winona Ryder in the long dead Alien franchise
06 Ash&Bishop Because they elevate Alien and Aliens... not that either film particularly needs the elevation being spectacular in dozens of other ways as well. Please note that I didn't include "Call" from Alien Ressurection as I still have no idea how that fell so flat. I mean other than that the role was played by Noni in that phase of her career when she suddenly seemed entirely lost. That said, Alien 4 gets a bad rap but it's hard to argue with Sigourney Weaver's slightly twisted star turn as "Ripley 8". Even after four films she never once phoned it in.
05 The Iron Giant I really need to watch this animated gem again. I've seen it but once and every time I have thought about since (many many times) I whisper "Superman" in my brain and, voila, instant lump in throat.
04 T-1000 I think I gave him short shift in my Judgment Dayretrospective. I love everything about him from his mean, lean and naked entrance to Robert Patrick's otoplasty-free ears to the way he chases the heroes with cheetah speed (yikes) to the way that the only barely expressed "emotions" are negative ones: annoyance, dishonesty, condescencion, anger.
03 Roy Batty If only some new sci-fi picture would ever be as good as Blade Runner. I guess that only happens once every quarter century or so. Hey, it's been 27 years! Hurry up cinema. [More on Batty]
02 WALL•E & EVE I know I'm supposed to be moving on to Up... but really. How will Pixar ever top WALL•E ? Too much loveliness, creativity, control and exquisite characterizations for one animated film. Plus, EVE rocks.
01 False Maria I'm giving Brigitte Helms immortal rendition of The Maschinenmensch the top spot not just because I've seen Metropolis more than any other silent film (it's not my all time favorite silent: get in line behind The Passion of Joan of Arc and Pandora's Box, Fritz) but because you can still feel Maria reverberating in pop culture. Or at least I can. But maybe that's because I ♥ Madonna too much? Plus Maria's dance sequence is all kinds of "!!!" including the most gloriously overstated reaction shots of lust the cinema ever came up with: lip licking, eyebrow acrobatics, arm grabbing... it's all win.
Which robot things excite you or are you strictly flesh and blood oriented? *
We haven't had a lot of brainy science fiction at the movies recently. Most science fiction has moved away from the philosophizing headspace to the easy accessibility and fun of the space opera / adventure variety, the Star Wars school if you will. There have been a few attempts to bring it back: Steven Soderbergh's Solaris remake, Danny Boyle's Sunshine (to some degree) and indies like Primer. People don't tend to think of it as sci-fi but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind also fits into this camp: movies using outlandish and/or futuristic scientific premises to illuminate something about the human condition or tie us up in theoretical knots.
One of the reasons I loved Battlestar Galactica so much during its run (2004-20009... sniffle) is that it lived in an enormous suite in the headier wing of the genre mansion but also kept a couple of rooms in the other, so as not to scare away that sizeable audiences who lives for gunplay and explosions. Loud fireworks work the same action magic whether they're inside an earthbound action movie or light years away between humans and machines.
This is a long way of introducing two recently released indie trailers. The first is the "what if?" implant/romance scenario of TiMER.
I love that the trailer introduces its crazy premise with a coincidental (?) reunion of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's hilarious she-demons Anya (Emma Caulfield) and Halfrek (Kali Rocha), don't you?
The second trailer there is for Moon starring Sam Rockwell. It seems a bit Solaris inspired but maybe that's a simplification (I haven't seen the movie).
I've read from a few sources that Rockwell is just terrific in the movie. But Oscar watchers should probably ignore that buzz. Sci-fi is the last place* awards voters look for acting skill. Even the widespread lengthy brilliance of Battlestar's ensemble resulted in 0 Emmy acting nominations. What they were accomplishing with their ridiculously complex and sometimes alarmingly sneaky characterizations on that show was simply no match for the revolutionary advances in the acting artform taking place over on Law & Order, Grey's Anatomy and Boston Legal [/sarcasm]
*Do awards voters like horror acting slightly more than sci-fi acting? Which is to say 'are they slightly less eager to spit on it?' It's arguable but maybe.
This list is dedicated to two crushes from childhood that never went away: First, Yvonne Craig (i.e. Batgirl!) who once played an Orion slave girl on Star Trek (prized for their eroticism). Second, Daryl Hannah... who is more caucasian than green but she doesn't think so. Leonardo DiCaprio may get all the press for being an environmentalist but Daryl is the hardcore real deal. I absolutely love her and you should, too. Plus you know: "California Mountain Snake" ... (red and yellow but you know -- snakes = green in the broader sense. Wha--Where am... Oh yes, the list).
Ten Best Green-Skinned Movie Characters
10 Speaking of snakes... One of the scariest things I ever saw as a kid was Medusa in The Clash of the Titans (1981). Don't stare too closely at her lopsided [shudder] key-lit eyes. You know what can happen... I'm so thankful that model work and stop motion haven't completely died in the movie making world because they are so much freakier than CGI as visual effects go. Yes they are remaking that one... and supposedly it's happening any minute now. The Parisian action director Louis Leterrier is helming. His last film was The Incredible Hulk so he must have a viridescent fetish. (How do you say "Orion slave girls" in French?)
09 I know Marvel and the Media have told me that I must prefer Leterrier's Incredible Hulk to Ang Lee's Hulk but I rarely do as I'm told. One reason to prefer the first Hulk (review) is that he seemed more phosphorescent and if you're going for scientific experiments gone awry which accidentally grant superhuman powers, why not saturate? Commit to the absurdity! (see also: Dr. Manhattan)
08 Buzz's run in with those squeaky aliens in Toy Story...
The Claw. The Claw is our master. It decides who will go and who will stay.
is still one of the funniest bits from any movie ever. I cherish the memory. I saw it with my brother and we had no idea what to expect (Pixar wasn't yet synonymous with instant classics). We laughed so hard that we missed the next few jokes that followed it.
07 Alligators(in general). Confession: I make a beeline at the zoo to see the alligator/crocs even though they never ever ever move. I wait and wait. They don't move! I love them onscreen even more (they move!) whether they're wrestling with Tarzan underwater, starring in comedic horror movies (Alligator) or trapped in supporting roles in cartoons (The Rescuers, Peter Pan)
06 Oola and Jabba The honeymoon was over even before the Jedi returned. Those crazy kids just couldn't work it out. She found him too possessive. He hated her independent streak. So he fed her to the rancor monster. What an a******.
05 This is more of a sideways fantasy than a reality. Plus no green-skin. There's talk of a Green Lantern movie very soon but the thing that would be brilliant that they'll never even consider doing is a hugely dense and populated sci-fi television series of Green Lantern Corps. Think of how many stories they could tell. There's more than just Hal Jordan to the Green Lantern mythos and we've got plenty of spandex single hero movies already. Try something new. The Pitch: Battlestar Galactica meets Dollhouse meets the superhero genre. Earth not included.
04 Kylie Minogue as "The Green Fairie" in Moulin Rouge! (retro) The most inspired / deranged pop star cameo ever? Maybe. Has anyone reading tried the newly legal absinthe? Did she appear to sing you showtunes? If so please tell me she knows more than just one song.
03 Yoda Make this list he must.
02 Even if I hadn't just been back to Wicked, there's no denying The Wicked Witch one of the top spots. I'm only denying her the top spot so that she'll terrorize me with an "I'll get you my pretty" or some such.
01Kermit the Frog. The Muppets are Love.
Who would you include in a top ten green list? I admit I found the pickings a little slim. Blue is definitely more of a movie color.
previous top tens: overdue for Oscar, best TV of 2008, female directors, etc... *
Posts
