Thursday, August 10, 2006

Today in Horrifying Headlines

I'll leave this one up to the readers. Which of the following headlines causes your stomach to drop clean to the floor the quickest:

"Brett Ratner Helming Brazil Remake"

or

"Hallstrom to direct A Christmas Carol"

Lucky for all of us, only one of these headlines is factually true. Brett Ratner is not actually directing a remake of Terry Gilliam's weirdo classic Brazil. This is the good news. The bad news is that the most reviled man on the internet will be remaking The Boys from Brazil. Who wants to scour South America for escaped Nazis with the director of Rush Hour? With Chris Tucker as Dr. Mengele! Look for the boys at Aint It Cool News to drive Ratner to a hissy blog post about how they're all haters by the end of the year.

As for the true headline, yes, Lasse Hallstrom will take time away from his busy schedule of being totally unworthy of Lena Olin to direct yet another version of everyone's favorite go-to sitcom holiday episode. The big idea to shake up the ever-so-stale plot of Ebeneezer Scrooge learning that money can't buy happiness? Make Scrooge younger! Ah, Hollywood. Ten bucks says it's because Kevin Spacey didn't want to put on old man makeup.

9 comments:

etslee said...

I believe Hallstrom can still make good movies, remember he directed "My Life as a Dog" and "What's eating Gilbert Grape", two of my favorite films.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'll always defend Hallstrom. Love the 2 you mention etslee, ADORE Cider House, am the site's resident Chocolat defender, and didn't even think Shipping News was THAT bad!

Rob

DL said...

The other big idea to shake things up? Making the ghosts female!

Cuz Judi Dench doesn't feel like playing a man.

Joe R. said...

Hee.

Full disclosure: I really like The Cider House Rules also.

Mikadzuki said...

I finally saw "My Life as a Dog" yesterday. Why Hallström ever decided to stop making films like that and start churning out silly sugar-coated Hollywood romps is beyond me. It was absolutely amazing.

And I second "dl". The Dench is probably plotting her next sleepwalking Oscar nom as we speak *shudder*

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