Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tuesday Top Ten: Celebrity Couples

new series. for the list maker in me and the list lover in you

Tomorrow is a special day that'll either warm your heart & bed or make you feel like absolute loveless crap or maybe a sick combo of both. So I thought we'd celebrate with celebrity couplings -- they create that exact same twisted effect. Here are my favorite still-together-at-this-writing star couples (starples?). I dedicate this list to Liz & Dick, the all time most audience friendly / tabloid feeding superstar romance and Ellen & 'Celestia', a nod to all those short-lived pairings that end spectacularly.

10 Favorite Celebrity Couples

10. Seal & Heidi Klum
Because they keep making babies.

09. Posh & Becks
The only reason they didn't place higher is their gobsmacking shamelessness. You know that these fame whores desperately want to top all such lists. You have to dock points for desperation even if the subjects are so otherwise excellent at being famous. And look around you: Tons of celebrities are really bad at it and should be replaced immediately.

08. Simon Doonan & Jonathan Adler
I had to have a gay couple on here and even if Lance & Reichen were still together there was no way in hell was I putting them on a list. Those two had the fame desperation of Posh & Becks without the unarguable cool factor...so: just desperation. In their place let's all celebrate the impossibly powerful combo of tastemakers Doonan and Adler who, in lieu of Dolce & Gabbana's romantic demise, are now the most powerful gay aesthetic force in the known universe.

07. Madonna & Guy Ritchie
Once upon a time Guy and Madonna did cute paparazzi friendly things like showing up to events with each others t-shirts on. It's been amusing to watch Guy recede grumpily from her limelight while Madonna is still willing to bend over in a leotard. One imagines that and he probably didn't want to be wearing that t-shirt in the first place. His Tony Ward accessory of phase didn't last very long, did it?

06. Scarlett Johansson & whomever
Admit it. You don't care who the guy is either. So long as she's canoodling...
Related posts: Scarlett Johansson week

05. Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher
Rare are the Hollywood starples who can defeat our cynical immediate reaction to their couplage. Nobody's paying attention anymore and they're still together = This must be true love. Points for that. Plus: pretty + pretty = very very pretty.

04. Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams
Serious actors. Movie stars. Happy couple. Private enough that we'll probably never get sick of them. (See also: #3)
Related Posts: Best Actor Oscar Race

03. Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward
The gold standard. He's one of the greatest movie stars of all time. She's a formidable actress. When some celebrity couples work together it's disastrous. When they work together it's quite terrific. Next year they'll celebrity their 50th wedding anniversary. Raise a glass.

02. Brangelina
Recent wax sculpture public appearances aside, the two most beautiful people on the planet are still together, thus making the world a better place.
Sign they'll break up: Both haven't had much staying power in the past.
Sign they'll stay together: Angelina has yet to star in a Melissa Etheridge video.
Related Post: A History of...Angelina Jolie

01. Warren Beatty & Annette Bening
The recent Golden Globe tribute to Warren Beatty was, I'll be the first to admit, quite painful. But let's blame that on the ever boring and inappropriate Tom Hanks instead. Only Sacha Baron Cohen successfully pulled off genitalia jokes that night. Nevertheless, Warren Beatty was and always will be one of the greats. The Bening is of course The Bening. I love them both separately. Together one imagines that they could tear the social fabric of Hollywood asunder should it displease them or rattle their aged intractable stardom. One imagines that it is only through their grace and patience that Hilary Swank has not (to date) been torn limb from limb. Beatty was already Hollywood royalty when he met Annette on Bugsy. She married in. But who else but The Bening carries themselves with so much 'to the manor born' entitlement? Love them. Fear them. Know that should they ever allow their full star wattage to shine, you would burst into flames at the very sight of it.
Related Posts: Annette Bening, guest blogger

Did I neglect your favorite celebrity couple? Speak up in the comments.

Previous Tuesday Top Tens:
Horseplay from Equus to National Velvet
Christian Bale from Newsies to American Psycho
Oscar Nominations Talking Points
Alexander(s) The Great
Best 2006 Movies from The Departed (sure) to Marie Antoinette (you heard me)
Movies by Three Amigos Best of Cuarón, González Iñárritu & Del Toro

Tags: Annette Bening, Warren Beatty, Madonna, Scarlett Johansson,Heidi Klum, David Beckham,Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, valentines day,, love, celebrity, fame, cinema, film

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

What about Britney and her flavor of the day? God, I love me some Brit.

And (I'm surprised by this one) why no Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols?

J.J. said...

Michael McKean & Annette O'Toole. Bacon & Sedgwick. I would love for Gilda Radner to still be alive so she could continue to be with Gene Wilder.

Lily said...

Hahah I take it you're not a fan of the Pete Doherty-Kate Moss merrygoround?

Gotta love the new feature though, i'm obsessed with lists.

Anonymous said...

Susan and Tim
Christopher and Jamie Lee

NATHANIEL R said...

susan and tim were #11 actually.
OH and ouch. how could i forget Jamie Lee & Guest! argh.

lylee said...

Their glamour wattage isn't very high, but William H. Macy & Felicity Huffman have been one of my favorite working actor-couples for some time now. Ditto for Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick. And I confess to a sneaking affection for Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker.

kokodee said...

Oh yeah... I second Kyra and Kevin. Gwyneth and Chris? High profile yet deliciously low key. aha!

Steve On Broadway (SOB) said...

Just happened across your wonderful posting of top celebrity couples.

Last weekend, I had the rare opportunity to see one of your highlighted couples - Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward - read romantic poetry at an event in Connecticut (I've posted more at http://steveonbroadway.blogspot.com/2007/02/come-be-my-lovelove-spoken-here-sob.html).

It's clear that their romance is alive and well. I just felt lucky to see them.

Ali said...

Why must you subject me to Rachel McAdams's hideous pink highlights again?

Kamikaze Camel said...

Pfft. This list is null and void to me because there's not Vince and Monica.

Okay, not really. But Vince and Monica? Brangelina and their stupid wax faces would melt if they were ever in the same room as those two definitions of sex.

I hate Brangelina and their stupid stupid faces.

Anonymous said...

Doh. It's "to the manner born" not "to the manor born".

adam k. said...

Um, HELLO:

HEATH and MICHELLE. Why has no one mentioned them?

And I second the love for:

Christopher & Jamie Lee (a forgiveable snub since Christopher isn't really a big actor, and hence not much of a celebrity)

Susan & Time (NOT forgiveable)

William Macy & Felicity Huffman (they seem like nice people)

...and the actor/singer pairings:
Gwyneth & Chris
Kidman & Urban

Reese & Ryan would be near the top if they hadn't broken up. Sad.

baby_lon said...

kyra and kevin 19 years, 19 freakin' years! damn.
Oh and representing African American (seeing as you have at least one minority couple on the list)let's say Will Smith and Jada Pinket or even better Denzel and Pauletta (I think she is/was an actress) Washington.

NATHANIEL R said...

anonymous actually either is fine "manner born" or 'manor born' is fine

though there are still arguments saying that 'manor born' is a mistake.

par3182 said...

no, no, not warren and annette - it's because of that coupling we've been so deprived of annette on screen over the past decade

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'd have liked to see Susan and Tim too.

I'm afraid I'm still too on the side of Jennifer Aniston to ever accept Brangelina.

Rob

adam k. said...

Oh god, I forgot about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. They're pretty huge. And any union that produces that little walking ball of cuteness Jaden Smith deserves props.

But still, seriously, where are HEATH and MICHELLE?

NATHANIEL R said...

nah, heath & michelle don't do it for me. but I like them as actors.

Marcelo said...

How do you feel about David E. Kelley and Michelle Pfeiffer?

NATHANIEL R said...

i feel bored by david e kelley. especially in the days of Boston Legal. Blech. (though i was once a fan, yes)

Anonymous said...

To: Doh -- It IS "to the manor born." I second Tim and Susan.