new series. for the list maker in me and the list lover in you
Tomorrow is a special day that'll either warm your heart & bed or make you feel like absolute loveless crap or maybe a sick combo of both. So I thought we'd celebrate with celebrity couplings -- they create that exact same twisted effect. Here are my favorite still-together-at-this-writing star couples (starples?). I dedicate this list to Liz & Dick, the all time most audience friendly / tabloid feeding superstar romance and Ellen & 'Celestia', a nod to all those short-lived pairings that end spectacularly.
10 Favorite Celebrity Couples
10. Seal & Heidi Klum
Because they keep making babies.
09. Posh & Becks
The only reason they didn't place higher is their gobsmacking shamelessness. You know that these fame whores desperately want to top all such lists. You have to dock points for desperation even if the subjects are so otherwise excellent at being famous. And look around you: Tons of celebrities are really bad at it and should be replaced immediately.
08. Simon Doonan & Jonathan Adler
I had to have a gay couple on here and even if Lance & Reichen were still together there was no way in hell was I putting them on a list. Those two had the fame desperation of Posh & Becks without the unarguable cool factor...so: just desperation. In their place let's all celebrate the impossibly powerful combo of tastemakers Doonan and Adler who, in lieu of Dolce & Gabbana's romantic demise, are now the most powerful gay aesthetic force in the known universe.
07. Madonna & Guy Ritchie
Once upon a time Guy and Madonna did cute paparazzi friendly things like showing up to events with each others t-shirts on. It's been amusing to watch Guy recede grumpily from her limelight while Madonna is still willing to bend over in a leotard. One imagines that and he probably didn't want to be wearing that t-shirt in the first place. His Tony Ward accessory of phase didn't last very long, did it?
06. Scarlett Johansson & whomever
Admit it. You don't care who the guy is either. So long as she's canoodling...
Related posts: Scarlett Johansson week
05. Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher
Rare are the Hollywood starples who can defeat our cynical immediate reaction to their couplage. Nobody's paying attention anymore and they're still together = This must be true love. Points for that. Plus: pretty + pretty = very very pretty.
04. Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams
Serious actors. Movie stars. Happy couple. Private enough that we'll probably never get sick of them. (See also: #3)
Related Posts: Best Actor Oscar Race
03. Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward
The gold standard. He's one of the greatest movie stars of all time. She's a formidable actress. When some celebrity couples work together it's disastrous. When they work together it's quite terrific. Next year they'll celebrity their 50th wedding anniversary. Raise a glass.
Recent wax sculpture public appearances aside, the two most beautiful people on the planet are still together, thus making the world a better place.
Sign they'll break up: Both haven't had much staying power in the past.
Sign they'll stay together: Angelina has yet to star in a Melissa Etheridge video.
Related Post: A History of...Angelina Jolie
01. Warren Beatty & Annette Bening
The recent Golden Globe tribute to Warren Beatty was, I'll be the first to admit, quite painful. But let's blame that on the ever boring and inappropriate Tom Hanks instead. Only Sacha Baron Cohen successfully pulled off genitalia jokes that night. Nevertheless, Warren Beatty was and always will be one of the greats. The Bening is of course The Bening. I love them both separately. Together one imagines that they could tear the social fabric of Hollywood asunder should it displease them or rattle their aged intractable stardom. One imagines that it is only through their grace and patience that Hilary Swank has not (to date) been torn limb from limb. Beatty was already Hollywood royalty when he met Annette on Bugsy. She married in. But who else but The Bening carries themselves with so much 'to the manor born' entitlement? Love them. Fear them. Know that should they ever allow their full star wattage to shine, you would burst into flames at the very sight of it.
Related Posts: Annette Bening, guest blogger
Did I neglect your favorite celebrity couple? Speak up in the comments.
Previous Tuesday Top Tens:
Horseplay from Equus to National Velvet
Christian Bale from Newsies to American Psycho
Oscar Nominations Talking Points
Alexander(s) The Great
Best 2006 Movies from The Departed (sure) to Marie Antoinette (you heard me)
Movies by Three Amigos Best of Cuarón, González Iñárritu & Del Toro
Tags: Annette Bening, Warren Beatty, Madonna, Scarlett Johansson,Heidi Klum, David Beckham,Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, valentines day,movies, love, celebrity, fame, cinema, film