TV @ the Movies: Thelma & Louise Hates Texas. Drag U & Marie Antoinette.

I get many emails asking me to write more frequently about the small screen so I figured I should cave if a tv series really excites me (like Mad Men) but on one condition: it has to reference the movies (or feature a beloved movie actress) or involve awardage. I've highlighted movie-adjacent TV before like pre-fame TV roles or unexpected actress moments. So henceforth, I'll package it in series form. You know how we do here at TFE. If something I happen to catch on television references the movies, I'll feature it on Saturday mornings to thank it for doing so.


Last week on Friday Night Lights Becky fell asleep watching Thelma & Louise and that is... well, I can only suspend so much disbelief and you just don't fall asleep watching that movie. It's awesome -- top ten of the 90s level awesome. But Becky is my least favorite character so whatever. She's a mess and there's no accounting for taste. There's a reason Louise won't drive thru Texas, y'all! She'd rather drive right off a cliff. I can't even discuss falling asleep watching Thelma & Louise without turning red with fury. Inappropriate! Those women deserved better.

So for this edition of "TV @ The Movies" a brief discussion of Drag U instead.

RuPaul's Drag U episode 1.2 "Dateless Divas"
I'm fairly certain this show is not half as good as it could be.

• Qualm #1: a makeover show. Like we needed another one.
  
• Qualm #2: I'm assuming Raven won't be in every episode and when the first Raven-less episode appears, I will feel cheated.
  
• Qualm #3: why isn't the entire panel of judges famous queens like Lady Bunny? I mean to have a "Dean of Dance" and it's not Candis Cayne? That's just wrong!) -- but I love that the underlying message is so subversive: everyone would be better off if they became a drag queen.

Raven: These girls are lucky that they have the advanced technology of the dragulator!
RuPaul: The Dragulator is a highly sophisticated piece of tech-no-lo-gy

Raven was the hottest miss thang on last year's Drag Race (and anyone who coins the phrase "giving Michelle Pfeiffer Bitch" has won me for life.) so I'm happy that she's practically the star of Drag U already. And, of course, Ru's always had a way with hilarious line readings. The Dragulator is awesome. Ru understands the camp value of a low budget (not to mention the power of a catchphrase and cheap gimmick). Anyway, the [sassy head bob] tek•nol•uh•jee suggests that contestant Lenae becomes "Honey Boom" and she likes it.

"I was like, 'That's Marilyn Monroe. And she really is inside of me!'"

It's really more like Chicago's Queen Latifah when Velma's like "Not you too, Mama!?!" in despair of platinum blonde Roxie Mania but never mind. Later Lenae dances to "I'm Every Woman" in this new gold lamé platinum blonde version of herself which confuses the girlie iconography even further Whitney + Queen ≠ Marilyn??? Whaaaa... But I shouldn't doubt the Dragulator because it is to RuPaul what "Magic Screen" was to Pee Wee, yes?


So... eventually Lenae as Honeyboom blows a kiss to the judges with a "Happy Birthday Mr. President" proving once again that Marilyn did it best. More celebrities ought to understand their own image with pinpoint precision and sell it accordingly at public events. If they hope to be remembered 48 years after their death, that is.

Meanwhile Lenae's competitor Debbie is transformed into "Moxie Mayhem" saying

"It's like Memoirs of a Geisha meets Marie Antoinette"

And you know that mash-up sent me reeling... cuz I hate and love in equal measure! [To recap: Memoirs = hate / Marie = love]


'Honeyboom' won the competition but I was the true winner because it got me to thinking about Marie-Antoinette, aka the 'misunderestimated' movie of the Aughts.

Leaping far from the RuPaul's Drag U topic, out of curiousity, I thought I'd check that statement. Nope! Oops. It's almost the most critically hated of my top 50 favorite movies of the Aughts but not quite. These are the least acclaimed of those, according to the TomatoMeter, the only films in my top 50 to not score in the 80% and above of critical approval. These are the places I refused consensus. Not out of contrarianism, mind you, but from pure love of the movies in question.

• Birth (39% on Rotten Tomatoes)
• Marie Antoinette (55% on Rotten Tomatoes)
• I ♥ Huckabees (62% on Rotten Tomatoes )
• Bring It On (64% on Rotten Tomatoes)
  
• Idioterne (The Idiots) (70% on Rotten Tomatoes)
  
• Moulin Rouge (77% on Rotten Tomatoes)
• 25th Hour (78% on Rotten Tomatoes)
  
• Beau Travail (79% on Rotten Tomatoes)

What'cha think about that?
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I Heart Huckabees

"I'm here to see Francis!"

Butler: Francis is busy.
Pee-wee: Busy doing what?
Butler: He's having his bath.

Pee-wee: Oh, really?
Where are they hosing him down?


[Great Moments in Screen Bitchery #301,
Paul Reubens in Pee Wee's Big Adventure]

JA from MNPP here.

There are about a dozen lines of incredible bitchery between Francis and Pee Wee that've become classic insults - "I know you are but what am I?" is right up there with "Et tu, Brute" as far as I'm concerned in lines for the ages - but I always loved this scene especially because Pee Wee's always at his best when he's deranged, and the way he stomps into that pool fully-clothed and they do battle like Godzilla and the Crab Monster among the tiny ships is hysterical.

Happy 25th anniversary, Pee Wee!

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Further reading/laughing:
Pee Wee Art He looks so different in each painting, despite that signature suit.
Tina the Tour Guide the greatest cameo of all time.
"Good Morning World" Breakfast with Pee Wee

Cyndi Lauper Still Rockin at 57

She's so unusual.

It's not just that she has colorful hair and crazy wardrobe. It's not just the four octave range. It's not just the tireless fight for other people's civil rights. It's the combination of all the unusual and wonderful things. Since this is a movie site, enjoy Cyndi Lauper's movie themed numbers on her birthday today. And please note: Cyndi's new record "Memphis Blues" also debuts today.

She's now writing the music for the Broadway adaptation of the drag comedy Kinky Boots (2005). I wasn't crazy about that movie but it seems like a natural fit for a stage musical transfer. If anything it'll be way better given that Cyndi Lauper and Broadway legend Harvey Fierstein are involved.

Cyndi's Movie/TV songs

"Another Brick in the Wall" from a 1990 concert version of Pink Floyd The Wall (1982)



"Pee Wee's Playhouse" Theme Song (1986)... the greatest tv theme song of all time, yes? | "Slumdog Millionaire" Wyclef Jean ft. Cyndi Lauper (2009). Not from the movie obviously but aligned with as it were...



"Hole in My Heart" from Vibes (1988) | "Goonie R Good Enough" from The Goonies (1985)



"I Want a Mom That Will Last Forever" from Rugrats in Paris (2000) | "Here and There" from Here and There (2009, which she also starred in)



And I'm cheating on these final two videos in that they have no connection to the movies, but they're two of my all time favorite songs by her. They weren't mega hits or universally adored because the world doesn't make any sense.

"You Don't Know" from Sisters of Avalon (1996) | "I'm Gonna Be Strong" from both Blue Angel (1980) and 12 Deadly Cyns (1994)



Happy birthday Cyn'!

A Link Divided

multiplex
Movie|Line suggests that Lindsay Lohan stay in France. International diplomacy is admittedly not their strong suit
The Onion Ridley Scott and Tim Burton switch action figures. 'No tradebacks!' (this article is a couple weeks old but if you haven't read it, experience the hilarity)


The Big Picture questions the hypocrisy of dissing Shia Labeouf for dissing Steven Spielberg. Good piece. There's too many "yes people" in Hollywood and Crystal Skull stank.
The Hot Blog Poland waxes philosophical about revivals of genres, musicals, and cartoons
A Socialite's Life I wouldn't normally link to a Robert Pattison on set! thing (who cares?) but in truth I have read this book they're making into a movie Water For Elephants. The whole time I was reading it -- even though it wasn't great or anything -- I kept thinking 'this should be a movie.'NatashaVC an evocative Harvey Keitel story
I Need My Fix on the Demi Moore ♥ Ashton Kutcher romance. In truth they're one of my fav Hollywood couples, too

arthouse
In Contention Guy Lodge on Cannes winding down
Vulture The Fug Girls uncover and display the 10 loopiest outfits at Cannes. Their quote on Kate Beckinsale who isn't wearing anything crazy in the picture is lol

...tends to prefer either short prom dresses or really long prom dresses; ergo, for her, this is practically Gaga City.

Scanners With Jean Luc Godard's Socialisme premiering, Jim Emerson neatly summarizes the critical conversations about Godard over the past... entire career
David Germain on Sony Pictures Classics at Cannes and with Oscar
YouTube Have you seen this "Chlöe Sevigny" dragster yet? Funny. Love the coyness when dropping Tilda's name

great white way
Just Jared Paul Reubens still in process of bringing Pee Wee Herman back. Yay.

the page
Cooley! "Inappropriate Golden Age Book: Movies R Fun" [via]

the boob tube
Antenna an interesting piece on the Joss Whedon episode of Glee just past, which gives answer to the question i had while watching it: this doesn't feel like recent episodes. Why?

in the life
The Onion "New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It Let Someone Else Report On This Bullshit."

"I pity the poor foo' who don't eat mah cereal!"

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I am not a morning person, but I think I could be if I woke up like Pee-Wee did every day.
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"I know you are, but what am I?"

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56! 56 is what you are, Paul Reubens!

JA from MNPP here. The word of the day is: BIRTHDAY! Everybody scream! A very happy BIRTHDAY going out to Mr. Reubens today. I already threw him some Pee-Wee-less birthday love over at my blog, but... well, I can't help myself. It always comes back to Pee Wee. I know... if I love him so much, why don't I marry him? Oh I would. You hear me, Paul? Make an honest man out of me!

So... back to sanity. I don't think anyone can dispute that Pee Wee Herman is Paul Reubens' finest accomplishment. Whether we're talking the racier show he did on-stage in the early 80s, or Pee Wee's Big Adventure with Tim Burton, or The TV Show That Raised Me, Pee Wee's Playhouse... it's all gold, man.

But I think it's fair to say that Pee Wee's Big Adventure is what most of us think of first. Whether he was learning that there's no basement in the Alamo or the fateful tale of Large Marge or simply modeling a lovely little lady outfit for discerning gentleman police officer, PWBA is chock-filled with hilarity. Speck the dog! Francis! "I pity the foo' that don't eat Mr. T cereal!" I wanna hear what y'all's favorite part is. Give some love! If you need me, I'll be over here listening to reason. Shh!!! I'm listening to reason!
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20:07 (Burton Scissored)

I love this 20:07 image from Edward Scissorhands I’ve always loved the way Edward embodies all things Burtonian and yet he’s in this very pastel environment for most of the film. In this still he's in Kim's bedroom, the girl he'll soon fall for. It’s such a great juxtaposition --a perfect visual foreshadowing of the most famous dialogue exchange later on:

Kim: Hold me.
Edward: I can’t.

The environment may be soft but it’s hard on Edward. He’s all uncomfortable sharp edges. The irony being that Edward is himself deeply squishy and huggable on the inside.

Tim Burton is on the brain due to that Cinema's Demon Barber Event on Wednesday. I thought I’d share a few anecdotes not involving a certain Sondheim musical since some readers asked.


The initial Burton clipreel provoked a lot more smiling nostalgia that I expected. T’was a great reminder that he’s consistently been one of the most fun filmmakers to ever contribute to the medium (“fun” being a major compliment). Dialogue snippets from the film were obviously chosen for their correlation to the man behind the curtain. Lines like "Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds", "We are dealing with a madman here", "People fear the unusual", and "visions are worth fighting for" (yet the editors were smart enough to include “I am Catwoman. Hear me roar” which made no sense in context but who can get enough of Pfeiffer’s line readings in that film? Not I!)

They divided the evenings clips up into three sections: Blockbusters -- in which they discussed the effects heavy films and/or smash hits, Animation --in which they discussed the short films which put his name on Hollywood tongues many moons ago plus the feature toons, and Collaboration with Johnny Depp -- in which they discussed the rest of the filmography (Johnny’s in just shy of half of his films)


Some notes of interest from the evening:

• During the blockbuster section, Burton reminded us that Hollywood didn’t always think in terms of “franchise” and “fast food tie-ins” and the only ground rule for the original Batman was “make it successful” –that got a big laugh.
  
• He seemed to have mixed feelings about Batman Returns but mentioned that he was proud to have made a movie where a major character licks themselves and that while making it he was entirely focused on the animals (The Penguin and Catwoman).
• The interviewer was doing that annoying thing interviewers do at these events where they try to be overly kind about a critical failure. Burton was much more direct about the disappointment that was his Planet of the Apes remake. He said with some defeat in his voice ‘it made money. But that’s not why you make movies.’ He made it because “I was lured by talking apes” His final thought: "I tried"
  
• He knew of Pee Wee before they made Big Adventure and that his job there was different than it’s been on other pictures. The character was already created: He just had to provide the world Pee Wee could live in.
  
• He once worked on Disney's Fox and the Hound. While he worked there it was "a dead place." He mentioned that the talent was amazing (John Lasseter, Henry Selick, Brad Bird were mentioned by name) but nothing was happening. That nothing gave him freedom to make Vincent.
  
• He felt bad for other filmmakers after Ed Wood bombed because he had to talk everyone into letting him make it --he knew that the failure would prevent other black and white pictures from getting the greenlight.
  
• Though he started as an artist, he storyboards less and less. He’s more interested in collaborating with the actors and seeing what happens.
  
• The audience at the event loved the conversation about Sleepy Hollow. He reminded us that this was before Pirates of the Caribbean. He knew that though people liked Johnny and him, there was a feeling of "duck and cover --here comes another bomb." He said that Johnny wanted to look like the Disney animated Ichabod with a huge nose but the studio was against it. The compromise: 'Johnny you can’t wear the nose but OK, OK you can play the hero like a 13 year old girl.'
  

On that amusing note, let's wrap up. These are my favorite Burton films:

1 Edward Scissorhands
2 Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
3 Ed Wood
4 Batman Returns
5 Mars Attacks

Share yours in the comments.

Rapidly Moving Horoscope

Yesterday was "Bike to Work Day." But if you're name isn't Pee Wee Herman this may not have crossed your mind. But that's just one tiny piece of National Transportation Month. Whether you're a biped or a quadriped, or even if you don't have any legs at all, you get around somehow. This week's theme is movement. Whatever you do this week, don't stand still. The planets aren't. This weekend we move from steady stable Taurus into juggling airy Gemini. As always the movies are here to guide us. They fit right into this theme. They don't call them motion pictures for nothing.

Weekly Movie Horoscope
May 17th -May 23rd 'get up and go' edition

Aries (3.21-4.19)
The force is with you impulsive ram. Your mental mode of transport should be that nifty land cruiser favored by young Skywalker on Tatooine. Like him, you'll need to converse with others to shape your big plans. You're too reckless and impractical alone. Replace the abrasive whining with teachable softness this week and you'll get to your destination very quickly.

Taurus (4.20-5.20)
Don't clam up right now, communication is everything. The sun is moving out of your stable sign into Gemini this weekend, so expect your steed to buck a little. That's right. You're on Seabiscuit this week. What? You think it's silly to suggest a bull atop a horse? Don't be so inflexible. Stay as light as a jockey and you'll win any race this week.

Gemini (5.21-6.20)
With the sun taking up residence in Gemini for a month, you're ready to shine. Before you get all psychedelic and bursting with color, submerge it like a submarine. Wrap up loose ends now. If you do you'll reap musical rewards all summer once you come up for air. One more thing. Your love life is not a group project. If they don't like your Yoko, tough crap.

Cancer (6.21-7.22)
Be honest : You know what you have to do so you'd best get to doing it. You'll need a moment alone to collect yourself but afterwards, it's full speed ahead. A great summer of transformation awaits. Believe it or not, you'll have raw animal power, too. This'll sound strange but as a creature of the sea you might understand. Hitch a ride on the backs of turtles just like Nemo's daddy did.

Leo (7.23-8.22)
You can't expect stability (at all) right now. The road may get difficult but you'll have a roaring good time. A good vehicle to keep in mind might be Bonnie & Clyde's car. Sure, it ended up bullet ridden but it made for a passionate ride. To prevent that sorry fate, acheive this tricky balance: Avoid joint business ventures (like bank robbing) but embrace all other communal activity this week.

Virgo (8.23-9.22)
This is a big time for your career/work. Put your heart and soul into it and make sure your voice is heard. To this end you'll want a symbiotic ride. Herbie is just the thing. He'll anticipate your needs and help you avoid direct conflict. It wouldn't hurt to flirt a little this week. Herbie gets around quickly. So do you as the sun moves into Gemini.

Libra (9.23-10.22)
Here's the scoop on your balancing act. You need to stay cool to gain ground. Best way to do that is in the air. Keep your head above it all --it's probably best to work alone, avoiding earthly temptations. All of this screams "invisible jet!". Whether you're a man or a woman, you'll be a wonder this week for family and friends. That love interest of yours? Smile and wink back.

Scorpio (10.23-11.21)
Expect big changes and be prepared to relinquish control --probably too someone who holds your heart (even if this scares you). In fact, here's how you're getting around: you're inside Howl's Moving Castle. Sudden changes in direction are very likely. This ride is rickety. The universe wants to jolt you into a new way of looking at where you're going. Embrace the unruly magic.

Sagittarius (11.22-12.21)
Embrace this with your normal enthusiasm archer: Put on rollerskates! Break any routine and plant new social seeds. What's better for mingling than roller rinks? You may want to play it hot & horny like Rollergirl but I'll tell you it's more of a Greek muse/Xanadu type situation. A transformation is coming up to test your heart. Olivia had some tough decisions to make in that disco musical, too.

Capricorn (12.22-1.19)
Make like Batgirl on a motorcycle this week. But beware of having too many secrets. I'm not saying rip off your mask, but be a little flexible and let your hair down. Feel the wind. You'll make great progress if community is your focus this week, so find extra time to spend with your own personal Commissioner Gordon or Batman. You'll iron out past kinks.

Aquarius (1.20-2.18)
Don't hate me you airy thing but your mode of transportation this week is your own damn feet. Health and fitness are super important for you right now. As are your personal relationships which are going to get a workout. This jogging, running, walking shouldn't be solitary. The key to your success this week is community. Train with others. Motivate them. Be energized in return.

Pisces (2.19-3.20)
Those changes you've been dreaming about? Make them. The time is right to take flight. Venus is currently connecting with your Neptune god so you should be feeling energized and less timid about a new adventure. Maybe you'll meet someone new? With Chitty Chitty Bang Bang you'll be fine on water, land, or air. Have an adventurous weekend.

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As always if you know someone who needs this joint planetary/motion picture guidance, e-mail this link. Have a great week.

tags: Astrology, movies, celebrities, horoscope, zodiac, Wonder Woman, Comic Books, Luke Skywalker, Xanadu, Batgirl, Gemini,Taurus,