"omigod you guys"

My friend just finished his civic duty as a jury member the other day and as he was leaving the courthouse what thanks did he get? This eyesore driving past the court house, bending and snapping...

I don't want my MTV. Wasn't that horrific Grease reality series enough?

I use to love the movie Legally Blonde and my friend (who snapped this pic) and I both still say "I object!" in Elle voice (don't pretend you don't) with some regularity... but the sad diminishing returns --it's best not to speak of this "Broadway musical" and I use the term lightly-- have so turned me off. It's like all those straight to video Disney "sequels".

Good vs. Evil: Theatrical Blondes

It's so gross that MTV, which has always ignored rock stage musicals that might have actually fit into their vague subject matter chooses THIS as the one stage piece to get excited about and force upon millions. My theory is if you're a tastemaker and you have a captive huge audience, you really ought to try to promote good work that your audience might actually like if they were given the opportunity to sample it.

MTV could have done wonders for Hedwig and the Angry Inch back in the day. Or Spring Awakening recently. Or... any number of shows with true rock and roll spirit, raucous youthful energy and artistic ambition. Not that MTV has a purpose beyond serving the corporate dollar.

BLECH.

*

Good Vs. Evil: 'White Bread' Teachers

If you're wondering why I haven't yet seen Freedom Writers, you just haven't been paying attention, have you? A: Hilary Swank and B: Hilary Swank. And, truth be told, I didn't even like this movie 12 years ago when it was called Dangerous Minds even though it starred my living goddess. Plus I don't ever want to go back to high school again. The only way I'm going is if Michelle Pfeiffer comes with and throws candy bars my way every time I get the answer right.

Anyway I already know that Michelle Pfeiffer was greater in the role of "Ms. Erin LouAnne Gruwell Johnson" than Beelzebub Hilary Swank could ever hope to be even without seeing the remake. For one, she's La Pfeiffer and if you're going to play a saint it's easier to pull that kind of role off if you're already godlike. And for two, Pfeiffer is sooooo much cooler than Swank. Swank may boogie down with her students in Freedom Writers but Pfeiffer shook her stuff with both her students and Coolio in Dangerous Minds. I rest my case.


Good wins this round. But the eternal battle rages on...

Previously in the 'who can blame me?' loathing of Ms. Swank:
Smell Like Skank * P.S. I Hate Her * Prophetic Nightmare *

Previously in my entirely understandable worship of La Pfeiffer:
Velma Von Tussel * Pfeiffer: Catch That Wave * Pfeiffer Blog-a-Thon -37 Participating Blogs

Previously in Good Vs. Evil
666 Edition * Star Wars * Heath Ledger Auteurs * Squinty-Eyed Oscar Winners * Musical Theater Birthday Boys *

Good Vs. Evil: The 666 Edition

Today is, as you all presumably know, 06/06/06. To er--celebrate (?)-- that antichrist connotative numbering moment, somebody rilly smart at the studios decided to release the remake of The Omen on this day. Now, as you also may have guessed if you've spent a moment to think about me on my birthday (and who among you hasn't?) the numbers have plagued me my whole life. Anybody with the june 6th birthday born in the sixties has had to live with the triple six situation. Whenever we fill out forms, our birthday is 06/06/6? which is, I don't mind saying, very annoying. I imagine it's like having a Christmas birthday: administrative types do comment when they see it on the paper. (Damn them!)

Now when I was a wee lad I was absolutely terrified at the idea of seeing horror movies. I'm not sure how I found out about The Omen but I knew of it long before I saw it. And I also knew about Damian's birthday (6/06/66 in the original movie --I guessed they were trying to underline the point with that fourth six). When they finally aired it on television in the late 70s I watched with the blanket pulled over me, covering my face most of the time. Couldn't sleep the whole night. From 1976 to 1981 when the original trilogy was arriving in theaters regularly, kids would love to tease June 6th-ers like myself by sifting through their hair looking for that 666 mark. Mean.

Since I was the nicest most angelic child possible (no seriously see--> too cute to the be the devil) it was totally silly of me to be scared about being the devil but confusing movies with reality? That's my thing. I actually cried watching Damien: Omen II because the fear started up again. If I ever shaved my head, would I find three sixes carved in my scalp? The only thing that I thought would be cool about being "Damien" was this: In the second movie a bunch of kids surround the now teenage devilboy to tease him or beat him up or something (I forget). Damien just looks at the lead bully and the guy has a massive brain hemorhage and dies on the spot. That power woulda come in handy in grade school and junior high, I tell you that.

But anyway I am a nice guy. I'd rather give people flowers and hugs than deadly hemorrhages. Even the mean ones...pathetic but true. Obviously I'm not the Anti-Christ and besides, that job is already taken.

Links that I am pretending are birthday gifts to me:
Kelly Stern on Bush and 1967's Loving v. Virginia case. Bigots tried to stop interracial marriages, too. They also blamed judges back then.
Lone Star Verve on the DVD releases out today Mommie Dearest and Gay Sex in the 70s. Hmmmm. What message is being sent here?
Cinema de Merde on X-Men: The Last Stand. You may have noticed I didn't write a review of this. It just pained me too much. But other people are doing a splendid job of pointing out the abundant careless problems.

Links that are gifts to me: ModFab * six things * Stinky Lulu . Awwww, I wuv you too.

And with that I will now stop pestering you about buying me gifts, donating to the site, and wishing me a happy one. This shtick is getting tired but I can't help that I'm so needy. Don't judge!

Good Vs. Evil: Star Wars Edition

On this day in movie history... way back in 1977 Star Wars or, Episode IV: A New Hope if you will, opened. Though I am now loathe to admit this, I'm all about exhibitonist sharing herein and George Lucas was kinda my idol for awhile in the early 80s. I even read a book about his life. I think it was called Skywalker or something (?). I don't care to look it up now. For the force works in mysterious ways and Mr. Lucas definitely went to the dark side. It turned out autobiographical-like only he was Vader rather than Skywalker.


From the mid 70s until the early 80s George Lucas was a young movie god. He didn't actually direct much but he along with Francis Ford Coppola and Steven Spielberg were the bearded young turks who were going to change the movies. They did. But George's impact proved the least film related. Other than the behemoth SW franchise his impact lies in special effects and merchandising: mastering the ways in which you can milk the most out of your fans whilst providing the least actual product which with to do said milking.

Contrary to what younger moviegoers may believe the George Lucas backlash did not begin with The Phantom Menace it begin with the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi. Up until Princess gold-bikini Leia choked Jabba the Hut (one of the great screen villains if you ask me) everyone was having a ball. Those teddy bears felt like jumped sharks to a lot of folks back then. Not me really. But what did I know?

Like a good portion of the world's population I got more than a little excited and nostalgic when the Phantom Menace trailer arrived. But you have to be careful what you wish for. For Lucas had most definitely become a Sith Lord. When you start giving the world Jar Jar Binks and over-explaining beloved myths and destroying Natalie Portman's ability to act, you are most definitely horned and betailed and at home in the fiery pits of hell.

[Ewok image drawn by Bob McLeod -ed]

tags: Star Wars, George Lucas, movies, film

Good Vs. Evil: Heath Ledger Directorial Edition

It's the last Heath Ledger post of the day. You can all breathe sighs of relief. Pretend your Naomi Watts and Heath is finally out o' yo hair. After this post that is...


Ang Lee and Mel Gibson are arguably the two moviemakers most responsible for the career of Heath Ledger. Aside from the fact that they're both double Oscar-winning directors who were born in the 1950s, could these men be any more different? Ang Lee is an enormously talented director of restrained style and superb taste. His films are quiet, nuanced, and moving. In them he looks on other types, races, and cultures with a compassionate eye and profound humanism. Mr. Gibson is an enormously well-rewarded director of showoff style and bizarre taste. His films are loud, obvious, and violent. In them he looks on other types, races, and cultures with a suspicous eye and harsh judgment.

Mel, part-time Aussie, snatched up Heath Ledger when he was just a hot young Australian actor to play his son in The Patriot (directed by Roland Emmerich) which led to multi-million dollar paychecks and billboard & magazine cover fame. Ang then rescued him from a dwindling career and guided the performance of a lifetime in Brokeback Mountain. We owe both Mel and Ang for lifting the career of this very promising actor into our sight line.

Thank you Mel. Now please go sell crazy somewhere else!
Thank you Ang. You can stay. Make lots more movies, please.

tags: Heath Ledger, Mel Gibson, Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain,celebrities, Australia

Good Vs. Evil: Squinty-Eyed Oscar Winning Edition

Dianne Weist celebrated her 58th birthday today. Her movie time seems to have passed but in the 80s and 90s --oh the joy she brought. Think Patricia Clarkson right. now. and you begin to approach the level of brilliance Weist managed for two decades consistently. Hannah and Her Sisters, Bullets Over Broadway, The Lost Boys, Edward Scissorhands, Parenthood --there was just no touching this woman for elevating a film with humor, genuine warmth, and inspired acting choices. Won't some major director give her one last superb showcase so she can win a third Oscar?

Another squinty-eyed actress won an Oscar not so long ago. If we never mention her name again maybe she'll go away?

Good Vs. Evil: Musical Theater Birthday Edition

I never knew this before: Andrew Lloyd Webber, devourer of all things beauteous and subtle in musical theater and Stephen Sondheim, god's gift to the same struggling but invaluable artform share a birthday. God has a weird sense of humor, don'cha think?



Beezelbub Andrew is 58 today and Stephen turns 76. For Webber's birthday I would like to give him the gift of silence. It truly is golden. This gift is large enough to allow for the immediate closing of Phantom of the Opera. Let the curtain fall instead of that damn chandelier! May Sondheim receive immortality as a genius musician --oh, wait he already has that. OK, may he live to be 100 and write one or two more musicals as great as Sunday in the Park with George, Into the Woods, and Sweeney Todd (currently revived, deliciously, on Broadway. GO SEE IT).

tags: Stephen Sondheim, Broadway, theater, theatre, musicals, Sweeney Todd

good vs. evil

My actual website is apparently closer to god.