Thursday, August 31, 2006

P.S. I Hate Her

There was no "Hump Day Hottie" yesterday. As I was casting about for a suitable humpee, my mind wandered to the fine beefcake of Gerard Butler since that pic of him from the upcoming 300, dressed undressed in full warrior drag, has been popping up repeatedly online. I hesitated for a moment (considering the wretchedness of The Phantom of the Opera) and in that moment I was lost. My traitorous mind jumped to my arch enemy, Hilary Swank!

She ruins everything.

My mind made the leap because Ms. Skank had recently signed to star opposite Mr. Butler in a film called P.S. I Love You. It's about a husband (Butler) who dies but leaves his wife (Swank) move-on-with-your-life grieving instructions. The premise sounds terribly sentimental but it is written by Richard Lagravenese. And I gotta tell you, that man can write. What's more, that man can write really memorable female characters (cases in point: The Fisher King, The Ref, The Bridges of Madison County, Living Out Loud). Not only is she starring in P.S.... she's also already finished work on LaGravenese' other new film, Freedom Writers. So now Hilary has herself (possibly) two new great roles for which she can be wildly overpraised when they arrive in theaters.

I'll never be rid of her.


So as I was trying to forget about this ubiquitous she-devil, she starts hitting the gossip circuit again, too. Seems she was cheating on Chad and has since been outed. Her sins continue to pile up: robbing better actresses of Oscars, breaching her husbands anonymity in recovery, and now fornication with her agent (!) --to quote Addams Family Values: "I'll kill myself... the help?" --When will this girl stop? She can run but she can't hide from the fiery pits of hell!

Now, if you'll excuse me. Gerard has just woken up from a sweaty Swank filled nightmare. I really need to be there to comfort him. What? Don't judge.

tags: Gerard Butler, movies, gossip,celebrities, Hilary Swank, Oscars, Academy Awards, 300

13 comments:

Kamikaze Camel said...

That image of the skank running reminds me of that Grace Jones album cover. Ya know! Island Life!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_Life

It was the first thing I thought of when I saw that image, strangely enough.

JavierAG said...

You know, never, ever stop doing these fabulous "Swank in hell" posts. I need them, the way I need coffee when I just wake up, and plus they're brilliant.

Anonymous said...

The 2nd Gerard Butler pic - film please?

Matt

susannah said...

Seriously, what *is* that second picture from? Now admittedly, I haven't seen many of his movies, but I can't remember a Gerard Butler movie where he was ungrizzled and sandy-haired.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I Love You is based on the first novel by the youngest daughter of Ireland's Prime Minister. She wrote it in a couple of months when she was about 20 and sold it to Warners or whoever within about a week. Surreal. I presume the script will be a little better than the flimsy chicklit novel it's based on.

PoliVamp said...

Could we still do a Hump Day Hottie for Gerard? And get the movie name of the second pic?

And was PotO really that bad? I kinda loved it (I realize I am one of 4 people that feel this way, but still)

My Hilary Swank hate is rapidly rising to Jamie Foxxian levels. At least he occaisonally rocks the hell out of a role. I really feel like it was the director/script/supporting cast that made Hilary award worthy for Boys Don't Cry, because nothing else has lived up to it.

Anonymous said...

Gerard Butler is way too hot - seriously, he made Tomb Raider worth sitting through, for his shirtless scenes alone - for Skank. She's utterly undeserving of sharing the screen with him.

Ali said...

I like The Swank.

*ducks*

Kamikaze Camel said...

See now Ali, if you had typed "I like the Skank" it would've been alright because it would also being poking fun at her but alas there is no redemption...

(j/k I heart ali)

Laurent said...

She's got the best body in Hollwood. They look great together : two well-toned human beings.

Emma said...

Everybody's talking Gerard Butler. All I can think of is Steven Gerrard. :D

NATHANIEL R said...

i don't know what movie that pic is from alas...

RichandDave said...

Hillary Swank is a total Tranny - agree? Cast your vote http://richanddaveshow.wordpress.com/2008/10/17/test/