I sat down to the computer and I swear to god I was about to start liveblogging the entire issue of Entertainment Weekly's Summer Movie Preview. What wrong wit me? That From Justin to Kelly recap must have done a whammy on me. But sanity has returned.
Let's just liveblog the cover...
When I took this issue out of my mailbox I secretly hoped that one of the potential Best Actress nominees would be on the cover so I could give some of y'all points (more on that contest very soon) Instead it's Tobey Maguire who is...not an actress. Why didn't they let Kiki share the cover with him. She's Mary Jane. What up wit that? This is one of the many reasons I'm holding that Action Heroine blog-a-thon in June. The girls never get enough action ... literally or figuratively.
Where were we? Oh yes, the cover. I sometimes wish that The Film Experience were famous enough that I could totally cover up the logo with a photo and everyone would still know where they were: Hey, it's The Film Experience! Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly both regularly obsure their logos. Tobey's head is huge here. I hear Mike Myers voice in my head shouting at him to move his giant cranium. Quick --what movie is that from? With Tobey's head in the way the magazine is now called 'Ent Ent weekly'. How guttural sounding. How very Mars Attacks ("ack ack")
or maybe it's a hot periodical in Middle Earth [click to enlarge]
I love Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker but I don't love Tobey Maguire himself. I can take or leave him outside of Sam Raimi's inspired webslinging. On an entirely superficial note: Tobey has the most nonexistent movie star lips since Kenneth Branagh who, perhaps you've forgotten, basically just had a horizontal slit between his nose and chin from which Shakespearean dialogue could escape. I can't picture Tobey reciting Shakespeare. It's impossible not to notice the Spider-Man 3 overkill in this magazine. "115 New Films" they promise to chat about inside. Meanwhile the cover has four photos and two of them are for Spider-Man 3. It's as if only that film, Pirates of the Caribbean: Oh My God It's Trilogy's End and Harry Potter and the Order of So Many Sequels are the only movies opening this summer. And maybe they are to John Q Public but whatevs EW, share the wealth. I wouldn't normally care but since Premiere folded Entertainment Weekly is basically the undisputed print power in mainstream moviegoing. Does this make Owen Gleiberman and Lisa Schwarzbaum the most powerful critics in the world?
Speaking of print --I should probably confess: I barely read magazines anymore. That's a pity because in theory I love them. I still have subscriptions. I mourned the loss of Movieline and Premiere. And yet... and yet... the only print thing I read regularly is books. I get so much more entertainment news online than I know what to do with anymore.
And thus concludes the live blogging (i.e. brain vomiting) of EW's Summer Movie Preview. It's been sitting beside my computer for many hours now and I have yet to open it and look inside.