Sunday, April 22, 2007

Entertainment Weekly's Summer Movie Preview

I sat down to the computer and I swear to god I was about to start liveblogging the entire issue of Entertainment Weekly's Summer Movie Preview. What wrong wit me? That From Justin to Kelly recap must have done a whammy on me. But sanity has returned.

Let's just liveblog the cover...

When I took this issue out of my mailbox I secretly hoped that one of the potential Best Actress nominees would be on the cover so I could give some of y'all points (more on that contest very soon) Instead it's Tobey Maguire who is...not an actress. Why didn't they let Kiki share the cover with him. She's Mary Jane. What up wit that? This is one of the many reasons I'm holding that Action Heroine blog-a-thon in June. The girls never get enough action ... literally or figuratively.

Where were we? Oh yes, the cover. I sometimes wish that The Film Experience were famous enough that I could totally cover up the logo with a photo and everyone would still know where they were: Hey, it's The Film Experience! Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly both regularly obsure their logos. Tobey's head is huge here. I hear Mike Myers voice in my head shouting at him to move his giant cranium. Quick --what movie is that from? With Tobey's head in the way the magazine is now called 'Ent Ent weekly'. How guttural sounding. How very Mars Attacks ("ack ack")

or maybe it's a hot periodical in Middle Earth [click to enlarge]


I love Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker but I don't love Tobey Maguire himself. I can take or leave him outside of Sam Raimi's inspired webslinging. On an entirely superficial note: Tobey has the most nonexistent movie star lips since Kenneth Branagh who, perhaps you've forgotten, basically just had a horizontal slit between his nose and chin from which Shakespearean dialogue could escape. I can't picture Tobey reciting Shakespeare. It's impossible not to notice the Spider-Man 3 overkill in this magazine. "115 New Films" they promise to chat about inside. Meanwhile the cover has four photos and two of them are for Spider-Man 3. It's as if only that film, Pirates of the Caribbean: Oh My God It's Trilogy's End and Harry Potter and the Order of So Many Sequels are the only movies opening this summer. And maybe they are to John Q Public but whatevs EW, share the wealth. I wouldn't normally care but since Premiere folded Entertainment Weekly is basically the undisputed print power in mainstream moviegoing. Does this make Owen Gleiberman and Lisa Schwarzbaum the most powerful critics in the world?

Speaking of print --I should probably confess: I barely read magazines anymore. That's a pity because in theory I love them. I still have subscriptions. I mourned the loss of Movieline and Premiere. And yet... and yet... the only print thing I read regularly is books. I get so much more entertainment news online than I know what to do with anymore.

And thus concludes the live blogging (i.e. brain vomiting) of EW's Summer Movie Preview. It's been sitting beside my computer for many hours now and I have yet to open it and look inside.

22 comments:

kokodee said...

No word on Kiki's inspired "it would be a flop without me( and the gang)" outburst?
Hehe.

I kinda forgot that Tobey still exists even with the Good German release last year. He's always had this non-presence about him and makes a very curious leading man. Still I adored him in Riding with the devil and Wonderboys.

NATHANIEL R said...

well, like i said: haven't opened the magazine.

but obviously if GHOST RIDER can make a mint they can cast anyone in anything make any old crap and with enough superhero/CGI/marketing muscle they can have a hit.

so Kiki's right to an extent (wouldn't be a phenomenon) but it'd clearly still be a hit.

amir_uk said...

When did Premiere fold?!

I'm sure I saw copies of the latest issue on sale in Borders today. Although this is Oxford, UK we're talking about - and sometimes we're a few weeks behind on getting American publications...

Anonymous said...

Premiere is still in operation. I got this month's copy .. Movieline simply changed its name to Hollywood... It is not as good as it was before.

NATHANIEL R said...

Premiere announced they were folding last month.

John P. said...

So I Married An Axe Murderer!

What do I win?

adam k. said...

What? Premiere is folding? Why? I just bought one. Whatever, I guess it's just less money spent, since I can indeed get everything online. But I don't get why Premiere would be shutting down.

I still wonder what Spidey woulda been like, had Jake Gyllenhaal been cast in the lead... or even if he'd taken over for Tobey that time when Tobey almost dropped out. Jake is the only other famous actor I could see doing it... Tobey's good, but maybe Jake would've been even better. He's certainly the more exciting actor in general. Um, I didn't been "exciting" in that way. Whatever.

It seems like Tobey was chosen cause he was more famous at the time when the original film was being made, and if that's the case, it's rather ironic that now, 5 years down the line, Jakey has exploded into a superstar, with Tobey unable to match his fame even despite his presence in Spiderman.

NATHANIEL R said...

congratulations John P you win... um... the admiration ? of whoever is reading who likes Mike Myers.

but seriously: good memory.

kokodee said...

Circa 2000/2001 when he was the resident Indie Wunder-kid, he still wasn't famous enough for the role. First choice was reportedly Heath Ledger who (gasp!) told them where to stick it, as he felt it would be career-kill. Hmmm.
It apparently took some serious grovelling from Sam Raimi, and an audition (even though he'd been the lead in Cider House Rules and was generally considered to be above one)for him to be cast.

The comparison to Jake is spot-on. I do wonder what will become of Tobey's career post-spiderman.

kokodee said...

Oh, and I too heart the Kiki!
Between the "everyone should smoke pot" to the "spidey is a flop without me" comments, I find her strangely alluring. Very. Punk. Royale.

I just know she'll rock that Debbie Harry role.
She's perfect.

Stephen G said...

I used to love Tobey, but Seabiscuit pretty much killed it for me.

Yay for actors like Kenneth Branagh and Tobey who have thin lips (like me!) - we can't all look like movie stars.

adam k. said...

I don't see that's so much more attractive about bigger lips. And I have pretty full lips myself.

Anonymous said...

My EW cover has Spider-Man in the black costume with Tobey's face covered. Thank god for small favors.

NATHANIEL R said...

i'm not saying anything about what's attractive. Obviously that depends on each person --both the subject and the beholder. i'm just saying movie stars: they usually have full lips. just like movie stars usually have huge eyes (she who must not be named and dianne wiest excepted)

Anonymous said...

And anytime Kirsten Dunst isn't stinking up a magazine cover that I own is a great day.

Guillermo said...

Priemere the print version has closed but will continue its online presence.

As for Tobey, he's admitted that he's not really "leading man" material and thinks he'll be back to character actor roles shortly.

I read someplace that he doesn't have a code to live by, that he re-invents himself everyday, and doesn't have any particular goals or aspirations for his life, etc. etc. etc.

He seems empty, almost soulless, I almost feel sorry for the guy...well, okay, not really.

adam k. said...

Well, presumably, movie stars have features that are considered attractive... since the definition of "movie star" is something akin to: "one who is payed millions of dollars to have millions of people sit and watch them."

16 year old blogger said...

My Entertainment Weekly came with only the Picture of Spiderman in his black suit on the cover and (luckily) no Tobey Maguire and his huge head...but Premiere has folded but it's website will still be in full run, so check that out instead...

Kamikaze Camel said...

I'm glad Jake wasn't cast as Spidey. I'm quite happy with the career Jake has carved out for himself rather than what would have happened if he was cast as Spiderman.

Deborah said...

I wrote this five months ago, but I think you might enjoy a Tobey Maguire: Separated at Birth? post.

NATHANIEL R said...

deborah that link just goes back to this post?

Anonymous said...

Why is everyone bashing Tobey?? I like Tobey and fine him a lot more attractive than Jake...ew.