Sunday, February 24, 2008

Live Blogging ~ Oscars Red Carpet (Official)

7:56 I have to pee. Which I consider very unfair. Bodily functions should be put on hold during Oscar night. Except eating. That's OK. Eating and drinking. Woot. The boyfriend made me "the shiny Oscar golden cocktail" or something like that. I need another one.

You're remembering to refresh your screen right? The other post is way better now. How long can I keep this up? Oscar season put dark circles under my eyes and I have no stylist or makeup team to hide my imperfections.

8:05 Marion has now corrected herself and she is saying "unique" to the reporters whew. I couldn't think of another joke for "eunuch". Live-blogging is stressful.

8:06 John Travolta's buzz cut actually does trick the eye into thinking he has hair. I hate the "official" Oscar arrivals show. It's always way more boring than E!'s coverage... for all the crimes against humanity that they commit, they are kinda stupid fun.

8:07 Laura Linney's voice is so singular and warm. And those cheeks. You just wanna pinch 'em or hug her. You definitely want to hand her awards. okay... I want to hand her awards. Clearly Hollywood doesn't care one way or the other about her no-Oscar status. I would like to note right here and now that TWO not just one TWO of the suggested clips from readers have already played in regards to her nominated role in The Savages.

8:15 Jennifer Garner was just wonderfully gracious to her stylist. Basically she just booked that woman's entire calendar for the year. Cameron Diaz is still giggly and 'what? who me!' after all these years. And followed by Amy Adams... weird juxtaposition for me. Because both sell the CUTE. but they seem very very different to me.

8:19 I never understood the "bleachers" thing. Why?

Renée Zellweger is pleased to spot a fresh supply of lemons at the end of the red carpet

8:24 Ellen Page is wearing a dress. I'm disappointed. If you prefer pants just do a Hepburn or a Keaton and go with it. Don't let the man control you Ms. McGuff.

8:26 This reporter is DRUNK. How else could she say this sentence to Hilary Swank 'watching you onscreen, people believe you could play any type of role that comes your way' DRUNK. It's the only explanation. If I can think before I type you can think before you speak reporters!

8:30 This opening reminds us really how far visual effects have come. So many famous movies all blending together. But the best best special effects are always human (didn't Clint Eastwood say something like that in the Mystic River campaigning?) and Jon Stewart is special. I love him. I would have his babies if I weren't so... worried about fitting into my Oscar dress. Speaking of loving. James McAvoy !

On Norbit's Oscar nomination:
Too often the Academy ignores movies that aren't good
Funny.

8:39 The Diablo Cody thing is really bizarre. When was a screenwriter who wasn't also a director ever this celebrated? Even Charlie Kauffman doesn't get this much love. Oh, Stripper name: your pet name + the street you grew up on... Nathaniel's stripper name "Ping Pong McArthur" or "Tick Tock McArthur" ...they were kitten twins. Did I mention how cute baby kittens are. Last post I believe... don't miss anything. It's all gold.


8:43 COSTUME DESIGN. Jennifer Garner is announcing. She's reading the teleprompter pretty well but you know she's only thinking of Gary Busey. Sweet Gary Busey. Elizabeth the Golden Age wins. WTF?

8:51 Told you they would still use all their Plan B clips even though they were back to Plan A. They never learn. We're 21 minutes in and they've only given one award out. Not that I mind. Nick and I like a long show. Although, tonight I might prefer a short one since I'm rapidly developing carpal tunnel syndrome.

8:53 ANIMATED FILM. Anne Hathaway has the biggest eyes in all the world. They're anime big. Think she's popular in Japan? I love Brad Bird and Ratatouille wins. Brad says he might throw up. Brad, look for Hilary. She's near the stage I'm sure. Cute acceptance speech about perserverance. This is kind of how I feel about writing. I can't stop. It's what I want to do.

8:57 Katharine Heigl is here to present MAKE-UP. She is incredibly nervous. Do you think it's because she heard those inane E! comments about how she dares not to be a size zero. Heigl fat. Whatever? E! reporters are so obnoxious. La Vie En Rose wins. Good choice Academy. You've finally realized that actress deglam transformations require make-up work. Shocking but true: Charlize Theron did not mottle her own skin for Monster. She didn't mess up her own teeth.

<--- 9:02 Ladies and gentlemen: Amy Adams doing Happy Working Song. Baby kittens are officially on notice. Her voice is so good. And she totally nails the Disney/Julie Andrews overenunciation. Love it.

9:09 VISUAL EFFECTS goes to The Golden Compass. That's so... surprising.

9:11 ART DIRECTION Crossing my fingers for Jack Fisk here. I want him and Sissy Spacek to have Mr & Mrs Oscars. So far I'm doing terrible on my predictions. Still doing terrible -- Sweeney Todd wins. I figured the Academy just didn't like it that much. I hate hate hate the music drowning out the speeches.

9:13 Jon Stewart on Cate Blanchett
She cannot be stopped!
Jon's stealing my material. I expect a check. Or a paypal donation.

9:15 SUPPORTING ACTOR. The year's least suspenseful acting prize. Jennifer Hudson presents in something white. Javier Bardem wins. He's so excited and rrooowr... fast and nervous and half Spanish speech. Love it. I always forget that Hal Holbrook is married to one of the Designing Women though, don't you?

9:27 And now we're not doing Plan B but jokes about Plan B. I think the show will end at midnight. Followed by a musical break: "Raise it Up" from August Rush.

9:30 The Butterscotch Stallion (love. be well) is here to present Short Films. The winner (live action) is "The Mozart of Pickpockets" He says he doesn't really speak English. That's OK. Owen Wilson does not speak French either. "Peter and the Wolf" wins. I don't get that choice really. Liked at least two of the others better. I must make another prediction: This will be my worst predictive night of all time! Hee.

9:35 SUPPORTING ACTRESS. (eeeeeek. i'm so nervous) TILDA SWINTON !!!



That was a great speech.
Oh, no. Happy birthday, man. I have an American agent who is the spitting image of this. Really truly the same shape head and, it has to be said, the buttocks.

And I'm giving this to him because there's no way I would be in America at all ever on a plane, if it wasn't for him. So, Brian Swardstrom, I'm giving this to you. And Tony Gilroy walks on water, it's entirely official as far as I'm concerned, and Jen Fox and Steve Samuels, our incredible producers.

And Sydney Pollack, and George Clooney, you know, the seriousness and the dedication to your art, seeing you climb into that rubber bat suit from "Batman & Robin," the one with the nipples, every morning under your costume, on the set, off the set, hanging upside-down at lunch, you rock, man.

Thank you, thank you, thank you
So personalized and bizarre. Like a wrap party that you're attending even though you weren't on set. The way I think Oscar speeches should be.

Part 3 -I run out of steam channeling all my energies into the good fight against default biopic wins --I'm bested again but I'll be back to fight again next year. One day I shall triumph.
Part 4 -prediction stats

*Goo

87 comments:

amir_uk said...

Ok, best dressed from what I've seen so far: Renee Zellweger in flashbulb-friendly silver (sorry, Nathaniel.)

Tackiest look on the carpet: Jennifer Hudson (surprised? No me neither) in horrible white and too many panels cut out of her dress. Eurgh, this girl has an Oscar!

John T said...

Damn, Edith Piaf has to be one of the Top 5 voices of the last century. I wish I'd liked that movie better.

SusanP said...

Hey Nat, just checking in to say have a fun Oscars! My computer access will be limited, but I will definitely read your posts later, so I can "retroactively" watch the show with you.

Stephani said...

Can't wait to read your live-blogging! I might be doing a bit of this as well, but I definitely dropped you a shout-out at my blog to show how it should be done. :)

Greg said...

Laura should get an award not only for simply being wonderful Laura, but also for rescuing Jennifer Garner from the slobbering Gary A-Busey.

NATHANIEL R said...

GREG -- I know. I wish i had talked about it more on my previous live blogging post.

but the stars kept coming..

Sammy Jo said...

Laura is a Goddess.

par3182 said...

back away from the lovely laura linney, nathaniel - you know perfectly well she's my movie goddess

vincenzo said...

Who's Cameron D personal trainer ?
I want too book him for the year

Billy D said...

Oh Nat, Rachel Zoe's schedule is booked from here to infinity already. She's the one who created the anorexic Lindsay Lohan and the bohemian Olsens.

Billy D said...

I'm sorry, I just heard Ellen Page say that Juno is "honest and genuine." My god, you are so right about the upped BS factor on the official red carpet.

John T said...

Beelzebub!!! Run and hide!!!

Anonymous said...

Nate, everytime Shrillary Skank comes on screen, I think of how you might be recoiling at the very sight of her. I think it's her ugly teeth isn't it? For all the money and opportunities she has, she could actually get some dental work done, no? (James)

Great live blogging by the way!

jimy said...

any sign of julie christie???

Sammy Jo said...

I worked a photo shoot with Miss Swank a couple of years ago. Nathaniel, you are so right about her.
She is a very strange, rather bitchy girl. Oh, and did I tell you, she looked like a man? Even more so in "real life"? I mean full on trannie, without the charm or sense of humor.

the boyfriend said...

In the interest of honesty in blogging, I'm compelled to inform you all that Nathaniel actually rewound and watched the Swank interview twice! He was that captivated by the horror, I guess.

crazycris said...

good morning!
have taken a 3h nap and gotten up now at 2am to be able to watch the oscars for the first time in 7 years!!!

I´m thrilled!!!

and looking forward to reading you Nat! ;o)

ryan (rms) said...

Ahhh! Did you see Ben and Sera (Leaving Las Vegas) in the into. So awsome!

channing tatum said...

You're all so mean with Swank. it's a good thing that there actors out there who are not "traditional beauty" looking. You can think she's a bad actress and say it, but don't criticize her looks. There are far uglier people out there

Jimmy said...

LOVE HER

Billy D said...

A DENNIS HOPPER JOKE?!? What year is this again? Can a commercial really make you relevant? So far, Stewart is not impressing me--not that that's anything new.

RahulB said...

Nothing like some Hillary Clinton hate to make me realize how up their ass Hollywood is sometimes.

I like her.

amir_uk said...

Swank's been seated next to Cotillard. Two birds with one stone, Nathaniel??

P.S. I Love Her

alex Cypher said...

Julie Christie is so hot. Seriously. I want to see her onstage.
Kidman looks good, I think it's the first time she won't top any "most skinny" list in her entire post-divorce red carpet career

maseltov said...

Wait, there's Hilary AND Hillary hate in the air ?
Count me in

Jimmy (Byrne) said...

hooray....a Byrne wins....first Byrne to win an oscar! there was a byrne on the titanic....steerage of course.

Abbie said...

How did Elizabeth win for costuming? My head hurts.

crazycris said...

damn! my first loss, I would have thought Atonement... but it´s always hard to beat the "big" costume pieces...

KD said...

Yay! Elizabeth! Spot on! woohooooooooo

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth had the best costumes - wow, may be the voters actually saw the film and saw the exceptional details that went into all those dresses!

amir_uk said...

Re: Elizabeth's win. Hopefully the start of an unpredictable night of many upsets?...

And yeah Byrne deserves an Oscar finally and the costumes were great. Maybe Academy members do take each category seriously then...

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth for costume? Those silly headdresses no self-respecting drag queen would be caught dead in? I'm starting to get a baaaaad feeling about what's ahead.

RedSatinDoll

KD said...

hatrick!!!! lets go!!!!!

Billy D said...

Alex Cypher, where the heck did you see Kidman?? She totally skipped the red carpet, and I can't find any pics yet!

You guys are right about the Elizabeth costuming win--bad omen!

PS: was Amy Adams lip synching?

amir_uk said...

Amy Adams just debased herself. She's beginning to piss me off - she's done a real U-turn for me this season.

Marius said...

I love Amy Adams. But I have a question; is it true she worked at Hooters restaurant? Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. I just find it hard to believe.

Douglas Racso said...

huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh what happened ?

Anonymous said...

I loved Amy Adams too.

Very brave to sing at the Oscars. The producers missed the opportunity to hire Debbie Allen or Paula Abdul and making a huge, colorful dancing.

Adams alone singing the song, performing it, gesturing it, ALL BY HERSELF. Very brave.

Marcelo - Brazil.

Moviezzz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marius said...

I have to say, that one picture of Sarah Michelle Gellar and The Rock dancing together is so sexy.

RahulB said...

I thought Transformers was going to win.

TAKE THAT SUVs.

Marius said...

I never said it was a bad thing. I just find it hard to believe, but I guess it's true.

carl herman said...

Huh, I work at Hooters, and I was Hilary Swank's stand-in on the set of Buffy the vampire slayer, which proves everyone can make it in Hollywood

Douglas Racso said...

i am so sucking right now in my predictions

vincenzo said...

Kidman seems so happy to have boobs it's intoxicating

Marius said...

Bardem!!!! Please!!!!

RahulB said...

Amazing. One of the best supporting actor wins in a long time.

Marius said...

Why didn't Javier kiss Jennifer? He's European. They always kiss. Hmm, very interesting.

crazycris said...

SPAIN here, celebrating like crazy!!!!

Javier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vv said...

Yeeeeeees!!! :D You go, Javier

Marius said...

Javier is a beautiful and talented man. Felicidades a todos los actores de España. :)

Marius said...

OMG, these young ladies have angelic voices. I miss the 90s. I miss Monica and Brandy.

Douglas Racso said...

the french are dominating

marcel said...

you know what they say about the french....you can't trust them: they fight with their feet & f**k with their mouth....my old boss used to say that.

Yaseen Ali said...

Moment of truth (Supporting Actress).

Yaseen Ali said...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

Marius said...

YES!!!! Congratulations to my beloved Tilda Swinton.

Douglas Racso said...

YAY for swinton. whatta speech loved her!!1

RahulB said...

WOOOOOOO

I hope it's the beginning of the surprises...

I hope Ellen Page wins just so I can hear the collective explosions of everyone's heads. I enjoyed that pregnant ho.

Anonymous said...

Swinton, YEAH!

Um, does that increase the possibility of Blanchett taking it for Best Actress? (oh no, no puh-leez no.)

RedSatinDoll

Marius said...

Oh, rahulb, that would be funny.

JS said...

Tilda! Perfect!

Billy D said...

TILDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love her brain face.

ryan (rms) said...

She won. Tilda won. I'm on cloud nine! Holy shit!

Anonymous said...

Nat, where the hell did you disappear to? (doing a happy dance in your living room mayhaps? Which is actually sort of turning me on, actually. hmmm...better not tell the girlfriend lest she think I've gone hetero on her.)

RedSatinDoll

jimmy said...

does josh brolin have an unusually large head?

Marius said...

I'm so biased. I want Sarah to win just because I LOVE her.

JS said...

Josh Brolin + James McAvoy + repartee = fainting

lawyer tony fernando said...

loved tilda´s win and her face expression too, I´m happy that I also predicted her

moondancer said...

Tilda is so cool. I love her acting, and what I know of her personal life, I think I'd like her as well.

Marius said...

God, I hate Michael Bay.

jimmy said...

who is miley cyrus? i think kristen chenowyth has new cans.

Marius said...

Miley is a product of the Walt Disney Corporation in association with the sperm of Billy Ray Cyrus.

Douglas Racso said...

butchered ugh

RahulB said...

I thought Ellen Page was going to spoil.

But way to embrace the foreigners Oscars...

Douglas Racso said...

no marion no

jimmy said...

well, that show's what a good PR campaign can buy you. im over & out - who's the next bio pic winner.

Kurtis O said...

Hahahaha! I went right to the comment about Swank and her versatility. I laughed out loud and almost turned of the TV....almost.
I am LOVING this show!!! Marion was adorable! I'm so glad I'm getting everything wrong! Bourne sweeps! Tilda wins! Pers- oh, wait...

Douglas Racso said...

YAY FOR THE SWELL SEASON i can stop watching now whooooo!!!!

NATHANIEL R said...

if you've wondered where i disappeared to... i started a second post.

so you have to go the blog rather than this post.

Brian said...

My stripper name is Goldie California. Works pretty well actually.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about Ruby Dee reaction... Maybe she was thinking: "I'm gonna win. I'm gonna win!!. They're have a deal with me"... And I little surprise... I love Tilda's shock

Congratulations to JAvier Bardem and Tilda Swinton

Kamikaze Camel said...

I actually screamed when Tilda won. Tilda Swinton is now ACADEMY AWARD WINNER! Hell yeah!

"I miss the 90s. I miss Monica and Brandy."

Me too. Now all you need is to look half decent in a your underwear and you get a record contract. Blegh.

Quite shocked that Transformers went home empty handed. Is this the first time a "flop" (hah!) won the best visual effects Oscar. Do they ever give it to a movie that didn't even made $100mil let alone $70mil (in America that is - the rest of the world gave it $300mil).

Nicole Kidman's rack has grown tremendously. Am I the only one who wanted Nic and Cate to present together? Cause that would've been bliss

Sam said...

I'm so excited about Laura Linney's red pillow scene.

Renee Zellweger is going to suck herself inside out. How they got her eyes open for that Vanity Fair Hitchcock shoot is beyond me.

I do think Ruby Dee was shocked. Not Lauren Bacall jaw dropping shocked, but shocked nonetheless.

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carpet cleaning service London said...

Thank you so much for this! I missed it and never got to watch it because i was in the office about 3 days straight!

Cheers,
Nessa