Sunday, May 31, 2009

MTV Movie Awards

I didn't live blog the MTV Movie Awards tonight but I tweeted about it -- if you followed along -- whilst bracing myself for the last death rattle of Slumdog Millionaire's trophy gathering prowess. It lost everything to Twilight and that makes total sense since the latter stare-fest was the worst movie in the mix and this ain't about the cinema!

It was the MTV Twilight Awards. They won everything. Here's the New Moon trailer. Lots of screaming on MTV when Taylor Lautner took his shirt off.



It looks like he'll lose more than his shirt. When he transforms into a fearsome WereCGI his clothes explode.

The big takeaway of the night: Brüno wins. Eminem loses.

Sacha Baron Cohen hasn't lost any of his ability to cause a comedy stir and Eminem hasn't gained any sense of humor. Shouldn't rehab give you a humbler handy sense of humor about yourself? I do think it was justly hilarious to see Eminem's gaybaiting come back to (ass)slap him in the face. To be fair though he has cooled the homophobia a bit, unless you consider the 'don't mean to offend' to be sarcastic
He does not mean to lesbian offend
But Lindsay, please come back to seeing men
Samantha’s a two, you’re practically a ten
I know you want me, girl, in fact, I can see a grin
...
Sorry Portia, but whats Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don’t, are you telling me tenderness?
Well I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
At least Zachary Quinto and Cameron Diaz thought the Brüno/Eminem bit was funny. Here's a theory about the prank that I suspect is true

30 comments:

Melanie R said...

Please tell me you're going to write a full article on it. I don't think I've ever seen such a trainwreck of a program before in my life. It's kind of shitastic in a really perverted way.

Seeking Amy said...

I want to cry, how did my generation get so pathetic? If I could I would travel back in time and destroy Stephanie Meyer's confidence so that she could never have written those awful books.

Arkaan said...

Wait. Twilight came out last year and is coming out this year? Remember when sequels took years to come out? Why don't we go back to that model. In fact, lets get Terrence Malick to craft the third Twilight.

And really, Robert Pattison is a really bad actor (based solely on trailers. Yes, I hate Twilight without seeing it). Zac Efron at least has some charm.

Glendon said...

I'm curious if anyone has seen Robert Pattinson's performance as Salvador Dali.

Anonymous said...

Get This, The New Twilight has a trailer and they are still filming.LMAO

Rob said...

I've seen it Glendon. Pretty fucking atrocious. The performance isn't quite as bad as the film though.

Derreck said...

ok, i laughed myself silly at the Bruno/Eminem incident. Ah, i love these classic unexpected MTV moments. But honestly, i could sympathize with Eminem with how PISSED he was. I would be the same way...

though i think it would've been so much better if it was done to Kanye West. No one throws a good bitchfit like Kanye.

Other than that, yes, it's a real trainwreck of a awards show. It's like MTV just gives the award to whatever is they think that young people like these days or whatever is du jour.

but do we expect anything else?

18 Year Old Blogger said...

So I've seen Bruno and let me tell you, that the movie is not even close to how hilarious this Eminem sketch was.

NATHANIEL R said...

so you're saying it's not funny?

Rob said...

Derreck, I think doing it to Kanye wouldn't have had nearly the significance/resonance it does with Eminem, considering Eminem's supposed homophobia and frequent use of 'faggot' in his song lyrics.

Kanye, on the other hand, has openly called for the homophobia among hip-hip artists to stop, and Bruno doing it to him would just be a cheap laugh, and not be the kind of transgressive, "statement" type thing Cohen is known for, and is doing here.

A funnier bitchfit? Perhaps, but it wouldn't have the impact this does/did.

Derreck said...

I totally agree with you, Rob. I guess i should've included that in my post, huh? I was focusing more on the laughs that a good ol' Kanye bitchfit would give me, but the aspect of a public heckling of Eminem and his homophobia was not lost on me.

But i must admit, in spite of some of the stuff he spits out sometimes, i do like Eminem as an artist. When he's not making fun of others or going all emo with killing and violence, he can come up with some great rap songs like "Lose Yourself", "Stan", and "Like Toy Soldiers". He's not like most rappers these days who stick to topics like "Hey, i'm a badass who fucks bitches and hoes!" or "Look at how much money i have!" and other stuff like that.

I do feel somewhat guilty for liking him, but i try to put that aside when dealing with his music. It's what i do with Wagner. Wagner was a big ol' anti-Semite, yet, do i love his music. Same with Kanye. His ego is horribly annoying though he does come up with some great things (at least in my opinion)

It's not like he totally didn't deserve to be Bruno's target, but i did feel embarrassed for him. Plus, i have to wonder if this will change his homophobia or reinforce it?

Derreck said...

and i'll be disappointed if the movie BRUNO...um, disappoints.

yikes. it's hard to be articulate at 3:41 in the morning.

18 Year Old Blogger said...

Whoops. I meant to say that this Eminem sketch it not even as close as funny as the film was.

moviefreak said...

I didn't look scripted to me. I don't think Marshall thought Bruno was going to have his balls in his face. He looked truly uncomfotable. MTV didn't even bleep him saying " get this motherfucker off me !" It may have been staged for Bruno to land on him, but no way would he sign on for having Bruno's bare ass in his face on TV for all the world to see.

Derreck said...

A bit belated, but i just saw the New Moon trailer and wow. it reminded me so much of the Star Wars Episodes I-III. Just....so.....much.....wooden acting. Is Robert Pattinson the new Hayden Christansen?

Jordan Wellin said...

Dear God...
Kristen Stewart and her hair beat Kate Winslet? Why do I feel like the only teenager out there who likes good movies?

Davey said...

I was pretty thrilled when Kate Winslet lost to Kristen Stewart in best actress. "Twilight" was no kind of great cinema, but it wasn't trying to be. "The Reader" was trying to be high art and failed. I hated that film so much.

Still don't know what to make of that Eminem/Bruno bit. Could Eminem have been in the dark about what was going to happen (or the extent of Bruno's antics), but MTV/Sacha Baron Cohen had everything planned to a T (knowing exactly where Cohen would land and where to place the camera)? Eminem did leave the show after that, the censors didn't catch all of his cursing, and he looked supremely pissed as he was leaving the auditorium. Best moment of the show though.

Andy Samberg did the best he could with a lame "Twilight" sweep. The beginning parodies with "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Star Trek" were fun.

I think I'm fairly traumatized by Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker singing "Dick in a Box." Yikes.

Never let tween girls vote for anything anymore! That should be the lesson taken from these shows, unless you think it's compelling television to watch Robert Pattinson suck the life out of the time he's on the screen, or Kristen Stewart dropping her moonman and acting like a stoned and retarded 16-year-old girl. But watch the exact same thing happen next year with "New Moon."

The beauty of MTV.

NATHANIEL R said...

one theory on the Eminem thing that I think is plausible right here

adelutza said...

Davey, for somebody who says that he hated The Reader and that Twilight was better because it didn't try to be "high art" , I am surprised at your angst against teenage girls. Maybe we should let teenage boys vote and see is the result is better (better than what? what's the criteria here if "high art" is being frown at?)

Davey said...

Yeah, that's basically what I said. The Enimen/Bruno incident was staged and not staged.

And adelutza, tween boys had the floor last year, or did you not notice how "Transformers" won best film then? It's lame to let either group have carte blanche on any awards show for picking lame results like these, even by usual MTV standards.

Also, what I was getting at with the "Twilight"/"The Reader" comparison was that neither films were worth much, but at least "Twilight" never made any grand aspirations to be more than what it was, which was a visual rendering of a soapy and trite novel that tween girls could fawn over. Mission accomplished. "The Reader" was a cast as a SERIOUS HOLOCAUST DRAMA that was half-assed on numerous fronts in content, scope, and execution, and if you're going to try to aim high like that unlike "Twilight", you should at least land in the vicinity of someplace decent. Failed. It was just funny to me is all that one beat out the other in a head-to-head match-up, which isn't anything new for MTV either, commerce over arthouse.

NoNo said...

I think that it was somewhat planned Eminem/Bruno because Eminem had a mic on him. How could we have heard what he was saying so clearly? He might not have known what was going on but MTV intentionally did it for a response. MTV really lost their minds last night with all the cursing and "suck my golden ****" It's MTV and not broadcast TV so they can do as they please but it was obvious they wanted to make headlines the next day.

NoNo said...

Oh and Kristen Stewart could've at least TRIED to look like she was enjoying herself. Taraji was a lil bit annoying last nite but at least she looked like she was having a good time!

Anonymous said...

I think that was Sacha Baron Cohen's mic that was picking up all of Eminem's cursing there. So he could have been in the dark about how far Cohen was going to go as Bruno, even if MTV was in on it all along.

Angela said...

I still don't understand why MTV ("Music" TeleVision) has Movie awards?

NoNo said...

But as he walked away you could still hear him say "This guys a clown!" and more obscenties. It's just my little guess.

Liz said...

Kristen just looks like a fish out of water. Am i the only one that finds that endearing?

Kyle said...

I'm sorry, I can't imagine too many of those MTV viewers actually saw The Reader...those nominations are hillarious..."let's just chuck Henson and Winslet in there so we have some real performances to counter-balance the Twilight girl and Shia Lebouf in Eagle Eye"

NATHANIEL R said...

Kristen... i would find it endearing (i liked the trophy dropping moment and her response 'i'm as awkward as you expected me to be') if it didn't come with this defensive 'i can't be bothered' superiority vibe.

she's just a major turn off for me. i can't entirely explain it. But i also HATED her Twilight performance. Three times too dull for me in most scenes. Then suddenly twice too histrionic in others. weird performance.

NATHANIEL R said...

Kyle probably not but you don't have to see the movies to vote for them -- it's like the People's Choice votes for Best Actress which are sometimes even funnier (you can get nominated even if you didn't make a movie!)

Liz said...

Performances aside i think Kristen has genuinely tried and FAILED at playing the media game and she knows it. Seeing her trying to articulate a decent response to basic questions is like watching a car crash waiting to happen. She starts. Stops. Starts again, gets nervous and just gives up altogether. She's a big change from those media trained disney child stars that we're all accustomed to.

It started of funny (i certainly had a good laugh over that Lettterman interview) but its clear after having seen her in several interviews that she is in way over her head. Now whenever i see her she just looks so insecure and so out of place that i cant help but warm up to her. Dare i say its become almost cute?

She reminds me of that initial awkward stage that alot of people go through: newly graduated and not quite sure of how to behave in the wider world. Pattinson seems to be managing his awkwardness over his new-found fame by covering it up with self-deprecating humour so he doesnt get as much flack for his actions. Kristen would do well if she could only develop one!