Monday, November 01, 2010

Annette Bening, Queen of Santa Barbara

My loyal subjects,

Since I know each and every last one of you will want to stand and wave to our procession as we receive the "American Riviera Prize" for our invaluable contributions to the cinema, we wanted to give you ample warning. [We're told you don't have private jets (?) and will need to plan ahead?] The blessed event will happen on January 28th. It's a fitting prize since the American Riviera has long been known as the work and playground of Movie Royalty like ourselves.

Last year the Festival gave this honor to a woman who once worked for the mass transit system! Incredible but true: buses and trains. Now, I was both Queen of England and the American First Lady at the time, essentially ruling over the entire globe, but no matter; it's unkind to compare !

She makes us laugh, bless her!

The year before the delightful Ms. Bullock's win, the Santa Barbara Festival gave this prize to ... well, we'd rather not discuss that. It did not end well for that man at the final ball.

Her Majesty Annette.


Jorge Rodrigues said...

Oh, hail to our Queen! I've missed you Annette! Sorry, Queen Annette.

I don't know but I think you should skip that ceremony Annette, because...

2006 - Seymour Hoffman (won in 2005, lost in 2007)
2007 - Forrest Whittaker (won in 2006)
2008 - Mickey Rourke (lost in 2008)
2009 - Sandra Bullock (won in 2009)

The odds are you lose the Oscar. And we don't want that, now do we?

Brady said...

All hail Queen Annette!

I hope this is her year. I'm glad the wooden destroyer of dreams named Hillary Swank isn't gaining traction this awards season to once again squish poor Annette.

stjeans said...

Wow! u can't buy Grace...

dinasztie said...

I still don't like her. Sorry. I AM trying to like her.

Lara said...

Dear Annette, you are good, but Hilary Swank over the seven seas with the seven (and a bit more) big choppers is a thousand times better than you.

Yours truly,
The Academy

James T said...

It's admirable that your Majesty would accept an award less prestigious than the "empress of the universe" one.

Sometimes you act like you're one of us.

If you'll excuse my language: GO get your Oscar!!