Monday, December 27, 2010

For Natalie & Benjamin: A Swan-Themed Wedding.

By now you've probably heard the exciting news that Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millipeid, the Black Swan pair who've been our "crush of the moment" for too many moments now (see sidebar), are pregnant and engaged.
a photoshopped imagining of their wedding cake
top from The Film Experience.

There's no exact word on when either of the blessed events (baby & wedding) are to occur though hundreds of thousands of years of human history tell us that the genetically lucky baby, certain to possess both dark haired beauty and physical grace, is coming in 2011.

We immediately tweeted advocating for a swan-themed wedding. Which is an obvious joke but come on. Swan has to be a common theme for weddings anyway and the possibilities are endless. Here are some other great suggestions from friends @jigsawlounge, @joereid and @moviedork18 on twitter.


I told Joe Reid that Timothy Hutton (Beautiful Girls) has to share that duty with Jean Reno (The Professional) if we're going there. But we shouldn't go there. That said, it does cause the mind to wander into Natalie's large filmography for wedding ideas. I still haven't figured out a way to work Clive Owen (Closer) in. Moviedork's comment made me giggle because it reminded me that Black Swan isn't the first time Natalie has had doubles. Remember those Queen Amidala decoys in the Star Wars prequels?!


He's sleeping with Natalie Portman and you're not.
The future Mr. Natalie Portman, choreographer/dancer/actor Benjamin Millipeid.
 But we digress...

Congratulations to the happy couple.


What would you suggest for Natalie's wedding? How would you work her filmography into the nuptials?
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27 comments:

Kurtis O said...

The cake-topper is a scream. Bravo.

pomme said...

i hope no Rodarte or Dior dress and Aronofsky directs the honeymoon

NATHANIEL R said...

@pomme -- but if we want them to live happily ever after -- do we really want Aronofsky directing the honeymoon? i mean things spiral down so quickly in his movies.

CheesyBits said...

Arrrghhhhhh..... Black Swan and Portman overload. Please make it stop.

/3rtfu11 said...

Well we got our answer to Would you fuck her?

Anonymous said...

Under the second photo it could also read "He's sleeping with Natalie Portman and not you".

Jay P. said...

Gorgeous couple, wonderful news. Congratulations to the both of them.

I wouldn't be surprised if we hear of Annette Bening hitting up the fertility clinic in the near future.

Marcus said...

I think it's safe to say Julia Roberts and Scarlett Johansson will get restraining orders.

RJ said...

This is the first I have heard of this! A-mazing.

She really wants that Oscar ;)

Leo said...

Aronofsky should go Rosemary's Baby all the way and chronicle her transformation from lithe/petite to emaciated. Of course, this should all be done via a cinema-verite style relying on hand-held grainy close-ups. Barbara Hershey should of course play a Minnie Castevete-ish next-door neighbor.

Anonymous said...

Do not remind me that I'm not sleeping with NP! I would marry her or do whatever she wants! Anyway, hope that she's happy and the baby will have his both parents together.

badmofo said...

After slamming bridesmaid Mila Kunis into a mirror -- because how dare she wear a better dress! -- Natalie will sashay down the aisle to a serious & moody re-interpretation of Wagner's Bridal Chorus in D as arranged by Clint Mansell. Keira Knightley is her maid-of-honor/paparazzi decoy. Jean Reno is her bodyguard. Gary Oldman, ever the Method actor, will send an urn of ashes with his name on it to be seated next to a tearful Barbara Hershey.

Michael said...

On her honeymoon, she could have non-committal sex with Ashton Kutcher.. That movie's going to be so bad!

Walter L. Hollmann said...

My cousin upon hearing who Natalie Portman's baby daddy is: "I call this the pas de babymaking. We have to do this several times to get it right."

Bia said...

Yeah, for some reason, I can't see them making it down the isle. Natalie seems like a commitophobe to me.

Deus Ex Machina said...

Wouldnt it be creepy if instead of having a baby she lays an egg?

Anonymous said...

Just to make this conversation Oscar-related: I can't help but think this will help the film's campaign. While the film and Natalie's performance may not appeal to the Academy's more middlebrow voters, a behind-the-scenes story like this reeks of cuteness and love. Plus, doesn't think kind of harken back to the studio days when actors were forced to marry? That's all I think about when costars get hitched.

Amir said...

@ Deus ex machina
hilariooouusss
for some reason i can't stop laughing at that.

dinasztie said...

Portman got one step closer to the Oscar. They love pregnant winners (Weisz, Zeta-Jones). This may sound odd, but there's some truth in it.

Anyway it's gonna be a great year for her: Baby, marriage, Oscar. I'm happy that she doesn't have a child at 40 like some other stars.

Bryan said...

@Deus ex Machina-- so funny!

The media will absolutely LAP THIS UP. She just went from 80% chance of winning to 97% chance of winning.

That baby is going to be horrifically beautiful.

chris na Taraja said...

the Black eye made me grin, but the scar on her back made me actually laugh out loud!!! You so funny.

Finally saw both the Black Swan and Social Network, both really great film. I really enjoyed them both. But if up for best film, Social Network will win. It's a somehow less disturbing portrait of the exact same relentless ambition. That makes Justin Timberlake the black swan of the picture.

I will say that Black Swan leaves a longer lasting brain print though.

chris na Taraja said...

/3tfu11, actually, I think I would.

GaryS. said...

Natalie's done good for herself, huh? Yum.

She's gotta have that Oscar cinched up now. Voters won't be able to resist her wobbling up to that stage to accept her Oscar. Just get hitched before the ballots are due!

Peggy Sue said...

If she wins she'll be divorced in less than a year so Benjamin will be available again!

Simon said...

Keira Knightly and, I don't know, Jake Gyllenhaal can be the decoy couple.

No, that's stupid.

Just make sure The Shins are playing.

Bryan said...

Great point, Peggy Sue! If Natalie wins, recent Best Actress trivia tells us her marriage will quickly unravel:

-Bullock divorced 1 year later
-Winslet separated 2 years later
-Witherspoon divorced 1 year later
-Swank divorced 1 year later
-Berry separated 1 year later, divorced 3 years later
-Hunt divorced 2 years later
-Thompson divorced 2 years later

Anonymous said...

we have a former star wars actress fulling in love with one of the actors its so sweet it my whon't to cry