Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I Am Not Alfred Hitchcock


I am not Alfred Hitchcock. I just wanted to clear that up lest you be confused. I know, I know -- I obsess on icy blondes a lot (Pfeiffer. Thurman. Deneuve. etc...) just as the famed auteur did. But I am not, in fact, him. Nor was I Hitchcock in a previous life. I was already alive when he died in 1980. There’s no Audrey Rose situation going on in here.

Reasons why you may have us confused:
We fetishize blonde actresses.
We appear in our own work.
We were raised in religious homes.
We love Fritz Lang and Luis Buñuel
We wear suits to work.
We’ve never won any Oscars.

But beyond that, you see, the similarities end. We’re really nothing alike at all.

Differences
I would never pose with a silly prop. OK, maybe if I had a movie to promote...
He has the shortest speech at the Oscar ceremony on record. When he was given a Thalberg award he just said “thank you” The orchestra would have to play me off.
He liked to terrorize people with their own phobias. I would be more likely to console them after Hitch send them their box of whatever they feared most (mice, snakes, etc...)--the bastard.
My favorite Hitchcock movie is either Psycho, Rear Window, or Notorious (I’m so indecisive). His is Shadow of a Doubt.
He is from England
I am not afraid of heights.
Truth be told, I'm not a big Grace Kelly fan.
He had dogs. I have a cat.
My profile is nowhere near as memorable as Hitchcocks.
Neither is my waist size.
I am (probably) not a genius.

tags: Alfred Hitchcock, movies, cinema, films, Oscars

14 comments:

adam k. said...

You know, at the beginning of this post, I could've SWORN it was gonna turn out being some kind of review of Lady in the Water, with you bringing the discussion around to how Shyamalan thought that he WAS in fact Alfred Hitchcock, when you yourself knew you weren't.

That's what I wanted this post to be about. I'm a little disappointed, frankly.

Witchiepooh said...

You may still be a genius, it's not too late...

And I'm with Hitch on his favorite film. I love Shadow of a Doubt, especially the way he used Joseph Cotton's voice and the twisted relationship between Uncle Charlie and Young Charlie.

But really, most of his films are brilliant.

Thea

vince said...

Adam brings up a good point. Shymalan probably does fashion himself the next Hitchcock.

Favorites of mine: Strangers on a Train, Psycho, Rear Window, North by Northwest, Vertigo (in that order).

P.S. The Hitchcock postage stamp from the 1998 Legends of Hollywood series is THE BEST POSTAGE STAMP EVER!

vince said...

which reminds me ...

My BEST POSTAGE STAMP EVER! Top Five (Single Issue):

1. Alfred Hitchcock
2. Great Garbo
3. James Dean
4. Summer Sports
5. Marilyn Monroe

Anonymous said...

Favorite Hitchcock movies
5 Rear Window
4 Psycho
3 North by Northwest
2 Marnie
1 Vertigo

How can you not love Grace Kelly? She must be the most sophisticated actress ever, so fancy, so charming.

cal roth

NATHANIEL R said...

i like about 50 blond movie stars better than her. Yes she's sophisticated and beautiful but... but... doesn't do anything for me. Plus she stole Judy Garland's Oscar and for this she earns my eternal scorn.

Anonymous said...

Even though I am not a fan of Judy Garland, I understand your anger. That was a travesty.
Anyway, Grace Kelly is all about being cool and sexy. I love her turns in To Catch a Thief (the chicken talk, the first kiss..) and High Society. She is charm itself.

cal roth

JavierAG said...

Nat loves Luis Buñuel? Oh my God Javi did not know this. Javi loves him very much.

Kamikaze Camel said...

My fave Hitch films:
1. Psycho
2. Rear Window
3. The 39 Steps
4. The Birds
5. North by Northwest.

4 and 5 may be switched. it depends on my mood, but that's definitely the 5 I would choose. The 39 Steps doesn't get enough love, y'all. It's brilliant.

And Grace Kelly? LOVE. Love her in all of Hitchcock's stuff, plus she made High Society worth bothering about (I prefer The Philadelphia Story thank you very much) and so on. I have seen neither of Kelly or Garland's turns so I can't comment.

John T. said...

My favorite Hitch:

1. Vertigo
2. Psycho
3. Notorious
4. Rebecca
5. North by Northwest

vince said...

Has anyone seen Strangers on a Train????? It's one of his best!!!!

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