Monday, October 16, 2006

Blogosphere Multiplex: The Gilded Moose

The Film Experience first discovered the hilarity of The Gilded Moose less than one month into its reign o'er the blogosphere's funnybone. The first link-up occurred on December 14th, 2005 with the Teaching Guide: Anne Hathaway in Brokeback Mountain. The funny has come fast and furious ever since. As an original member of 'The Loyal Order of the Gilded Moose,' I am super excited to bring you this inevitable "very special episode of..." the Blogosphere Multiplex Interviews.


10 questions with The Gilded Moose

Nathaniel:How often do you go to the movies?

Moose: Well, I see all the Jodie Foster thrillers because I enjoy watching someone terrorize her. I even sat through Flightplan which was unbearable because for most of the film she thought the Arabs in seats 4B- 4F were the terrorists when obviously Peter Sarsgaard in 22C was the terrorist. I mean, Peter Sarsgaard is always the bad guy. I also enjoy how they won't even give her a husband anymore. It's like too implausible that she'd sleep with a man so she's always just a single mom.

Other than that, my only rule for watching movies, is I won't see a film whose star has either a line of clothing at Wal-Mart. It's actually a valuable tool at the box office. Try it. It works everytime.

Nathaniel: Sounds like a smart rule. Since we're conducting this interview by e-mail do you have the proper firewalls in place? I don't want Sharon Stone trying to sabotage the film experience too! If she gets wind of what I thought of her in Casino...

Moose: I'm sorry but I can't talk about Sharon Stone and her evil minion Jeremy Piven's attempts to sabotage The Gilded Moose with their superior network hi-jacking skills. I can say, however, that we at Gilded Moose HQ are working on a laser-beam weapon so big and so terrible that it will most likely be able to cut through the 16 layers of crazy that surround Ms. Stone and finally destroy her.

See, I've already said too much. She'll most likely come after you now. I'd just hang myself in the oven immediately if I were you rather than subject yourself to her harrassment.

Nathaniel: oh for dark days ahead!

If you were to cast an apocalyptic thriller which actors (besides Sharon, duh) would you call to dramatize the end of all things?

Moose: Obviously Dakota Fanning would be involved in some fashion. Maybe Keanu Reeves? Bernadette Peters might sing something. Maybe a cute dog, too.

Nathaniel: Maybelline Honeycutt is totally hogging your Op-Eds. I imagine you know her very well by now. What's her favorite movie of all time? And what's yours?

Moose: Maybelline is an Op-Ed page hog, true, but she just has a lot on her mind. She's like Shakespeare or Aaron Sorkin that way. Maybelline doesn't like movies because there are always people 'talking about somethin' or the other in the talking pictures.' It pisses her off.

My favorite movie of all time is It's a Wonderful Life. I saw it recently on the big screen at The Silent Movie Theater and it is absolutely without question the best film ever made.

Nathaniel: Ah yes. Impossible to resist, that one.

Speaking of impossible to resist: Jake Gyllenhaal. You're awfully obsessed. Now Gilded Moose, noone knows your actual name. So tell the truth now: You're Heath Ledger, aren't you? ...or (gasp) 'Kiki' Dunst!

Moose: Well, to tell the truth I personally could care less about the guy (or any other celebrity for that matter) but I did a piece called "Breaking: Jake Gyllenhaal Steps Off Curb" and it was a big hit, and actually kind of set the tone for the site way back when. I know my readers enjoy him, so I'm happy to oblige.

I like those pieces a lot because, I mean, what could be less interesting than Jake Gyllenhaal getting a coffee or talking on the phone, yet, our culture has many, many magazines that are just that - without irony or satire, either. It' s like we've all become so painfully dumb - which is great because my site is pretty dumb and it means there is an ever expanding audience for me to offer up my medicore, recycled jokes to.

Nathaniel: So you don't deny that you are Heath Ledger!

Anyway, I get you. Moving on...What's the weirdest or most memorable thing that ever happened to you while watching a movie?

Moose: I just recently saw Monty Python's The Meaning of Life here at The Aero Theater which is on Montana Ave. and is very celebrity adjacent. Anyhoo, let's just say there was a Teri Garr incident. That's all I can say about that because you know how she is.

Nathaniel: I love it. This one will be tougher: Describe the following people in three words: Terri Garr, Brangelina, Annette Bening, Scarlett Johansson and Robert Downey Jr.

Moose: Terri Garr: Theater Seat Stealer
Brangelina: cupcakes, latch-hook, rickshaw
Annette Bening: Warren Beatty's Daughter?
Scarlett J.: lips, waffles, KFC
Robert Downey Jr,; Oprah, Oprah, Oprah

...perusing the above I'd just like to reiterate that I am a fully functioning member of society.

Nathaniel: This interview won't be printed on Nice Friday but which actors and actresses always bring out nice thoughts from you. Who do you love?

Moose: I have a little secret that I don't admit to anyone but I don't really notice much difference between most of them. Like people will be like "he's really amazing in this," and I'll think to myself "really? how can you tell?" Like Robert DeNiro. He always just seems like he's Robert DeNiro to me. That's the problem with living in LA. You go to see movies and often there will be a panel discussion afterwards with the stars and it's so dissapointing. It's like "so Christopher Walken, you're not talented at all, you're just really like that all the time." I mean, these people don't do anything except show up and be their crazy selves. I'm so jealous.


That being said, I like Drew Barrymore. I'll watch anything she is in, even if it's total crap.

Nathaniel: For an LA based site you throw in a surprising amount of literary references (people read in LA?!) --what book would you love to see as a movie?

Moose: LA is actually a huge book town, believe it or not. I recently saw Sarah Vowell speak here at UCLA and she said that she thinks LA is a much bigger book town than New York and I'd have to agree. Don't get me wrong, the people here are the dumbest you will ever meet, but we need something to do while driving.

I'd love to see "Confederacy of Dunces," which is my favorite book. I also wish someone would make "Carters Beats the Devil" which is a great book about a turn of the century Magician. It would be neat to see Ang Lee do Kazuo Ishiguaro's 'Never Let Me Go,' and not just because they're both Asian.

Nathaniel: The credits are about to roll. The Finale: They make a movie of your life...

Moose: Well, it'd kind of be like Schindler's List but with aliens and unicorns and a gumdrop river and it would rain puppies (but they wouldn't get hurt because the ground would be made of trampolines) and there'd lots of non-stop action but no one would ever get hurt because I believe in non-violence and Gandhi and Angelina --all that stuff. I'd like to be played by Clint Eastwood, obviously, and the film, The Gilded Moose in Paris, would be co-directed by Wes Anderson and a chimp.

Nathaniel: i am frightened.

Thank you so much. Merci. Gracias. Etcetera.

Moose: Thanks...that was totally fun.



Previous Interviews: Jay Lassiter * Dylan Meconis * Martha of Cinematical * Avi of ultranow * Rich of fourfour * par3182 of six things * "14" of Gallery of the Absurd * Ron of How to Learn Swedish in 1000 Difficult Lessons * Ron of Ron L'Infirmier * Thomas of Thomas & Co.

Tags: movies, cinema, Jodie Foster, Sharon Stone movies, cinema, Dakota Fanning, Jake Gyllenhaal, gossip,film, Los Angeles

15 comments:

JavierAG said...

That was the most hilarious thing ever.

Fanboy said...

Hmmm. Intersting article. I do know the Moose personally and I would say it's spot on, sort of, as long as you remove the referneces to Clint Eastwood.

Jeremy said...

Impeccable taste as always, Nathaniel. As a member in good standing of the Loyal Order of the Gilded Moose myself, I'm fascintated by the insight into his twisted humour. Thanks fot the great interview.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to ask him why he hates/loves Montgomery County, MD so much.

--Abhi

Kamikaze Camel said...

Yes, The Gilded Moose is indeed hilarious, as was that interview. Especially the end bit about Schindler's List and gumdrop rivers and raining puppies and trampolines.

I too am of the Loyal Order of the Gilded Moose. It's a privelidge.

Nick Davis said...

Up. Roarious.

Sharon Stone said...

wuhooo! nice post here.. :)



Celebrity Wallpaper

Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com, an online social networking community that connects people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards, listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

Anonymous said...

http://www.adquity.com

Classifieds for our community. Buy, sell, trade, date, events... post anything. Adquity Classifieds.

http://www.adquity.com

viagra said...

Disaster is likely to wreak havoc in the life of an individual as soon as he becomes victim to erectile dysfunction and the most significant dreadful consequence of erectile dysfunction is that the afflicted man becomes incapable of facilitating erections required for sexual intercourse. The sexual vacuum resulted from erectile dysfunction prompts the sufferer to opt for anti-impotency pills, most especially the viagra medication that was approved by FDA (Food and Drugs Administration) as a clinically effective drug to cure erectile dysfunction in men. Viagra is meant to be administered by patients only after availing of viagra prescription from the doctor. The prescription for Viagra provided by the doctor spells out that the patient suffering from erectile dysfunction seriously need Viagra to treat his disorder and further authorizes the patient to avail of Viagra from the pharmacist.

Anonymous said...

Online weight loss medications and programs are becoming very popular throughout the world with dietitians. However, not all programs of weight loss are created equal and some are even unnecessary.
Acomplia weight loss drug is an anorexic against obesity drugs. It is a cannabinoid receptor antagonist CB1. Acomplia Rimonabant has been found to stop the food enough to help people lose weight, and could also help reduce the urge other unhealthy as smoking.
Florinef weight loss drug is a corticosteroid used to help your body maintain the proper balance of water and minerals. Florinef pills can also be used to treat other conditions as determined by your doctor.
Hoodia weight loss medication is pure weight loss supplement. Do not be fooled by counterfeit products. Hoodia Gordonii More Hoodia comes directly from South Africa. Not Mexico, China or other so-called Hoodia exporting countries. More sales Hoodia Gordonii directly help the South African Bushmen tribes.
Meridia weight loss drug (sibutramine) is a weight loss aid, prescribed together with a larger plan of diet and exercise for people who need to lose 30 pounds or more, or for overweight people with additional factors risk (high cholesterol, hypertension).
Proactol weight loss medication is a daily supplement clinically proven that easily help to reduce excess body weight and become attractive, slender person you have always wanted to be. Proactol will absorb up to 28% of fat in everything we eat.
Regenon weight loss medication is used in the short term treatment of obesity. Reduce the effect their appetite tends to decrease after a couple of weeks. Because of this, these drugs are useful only during the first weeks of a program for weight loss. Regenon can help you lose weight while you are learning new ways to eat and exercise. Changes in eating habits and activity level should be developed and continued long-term in order to continue to lose weight and maintain the weight lost from returning.
Tenuate weight loss medication decreases appetite. It is used on a short-term (a few weeks), in combination with diet, to help you lose weight. This drug is sometimes prescribed for other uses; Offices You can address your doctor or pharmacist for more information.
Xenical Weight Loss medication a gastrointestinal lipase inhibitor used in the management of obesity in adult and adolescent patients age 12 and older. This medicine may be used during the weight loss phase or following weight loss to assist in weight management. This medicine works by inhibiting the digestion of fats from the diet and should be used with a reduced-calorie diet.

new house dc tx ca pa said...

companies marketing mineral makeups and also get the best bargains in mineral makeup you can imagine,
find aout how to consolidate your students loans or just how to lower your actual rates.,
looking for breast enlargements? in Rochester,
homeopathy for eczema learn about it.,
Allergies, information about lipitor,
save big with great bargains in mineral makeup,

change edition interviewing motivational people preparing second
,

interviewing motivational people preparing second time
,

interviewing people motivational preparing for a second time
,

black mold exposure
,

black mold exposure symptoms
,

black mold symptoms of exposure
,

free job interview questions
,

free job interview answers
,

interview answers to get a job
,

lookfor hair styles for fine thin hair
,

search hair styles for fine thin hair
,

hair styles for fine thin hair
,

beach resort in the philippines
,

great beach resort in the philippines
,

luxury beach resort in the philippines
,
iron garden gates, here,
iron garden gates,
wrought iron garden gates
, here
,
wrought iron garden gates
,
You: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Body That Will Make You Healthier and Younger
,
eat eating mindless more than think we we why
,
la times classified,
new york times classified


texturizer,
texturizers here,
black hair texturizer,
find aout how care curly hair,
find about how to care curly hair,
care curly hair,
lipitor rash,
lipitor reactions,
new house ventura california,
the house new houston tx,
new house washington dc,
new house pa philadelphia,
san antonio tx house new,
house new pa philadelphia,
new house washington dc,
new house ventura california,
the house new houston tx,
house new san antonio tx,
the house new houston tx, that you are looking for,
new house ventura california, you need to buy,
new house washington dc,
house new pa philadelphia,
new house san antonio tx,

hair surgery transplant
,

air filter allergy
,

refurbished dell laptop computers
,

hair surgery transplant
,

air filter allergy
,

refurbished dell laptop computers
,

hair surgery transplant
,

air filter allergy
,

refurbished dell laptop computers
,

chocolate esophagus heartburn study
,

chocolate esophagus heartburn study
be informed,

digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
,

digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
,
sew skirts, 16simple styles you can make!,
sew what skirts 16 simple styles you


Allergies, lipitor rash,
alcohol rash,
lipitor and alcohol,
lipitor alcohol,

natural remedies to aid healing of esophagus
,

chicory heartburn
,

effectiveness of zocor vs. lipitor
,

chocolate esophagus
,
southwestern wrought iron yard gate,
exterior iron gates,
oriental wrought iron gates,
powder coated iron garden fencing,

Manikandan said...

Hi .nice blog.I need to find jobs .can anybody send links of that job websites....
Thank you.....

African safari said...

I landed on this site while looking for African safari and Africa travel information and other people's experience while traveling thru Africa especially South Africa, Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda. Clearly there is no African safari content here but funny how i found it while searching for African safari blogs. Anyway like one of those pages you land on and find your self reading, i not only read but also found it interesting.

iphone said...

black mold exposure,
black mold symptoms of exposure,

wrought iron garden gates,
your next iron garden gates, here,

hair styles for fine thin hair,
search hair styles for fine thin hair,

night vision binoculars,
buy, night vision binoculars,

lipitor reactions,
lipitor reactions,

luxury beach resort in the philippines,
beach resort in the philippines,

homeopathy for baby eczema.,
homeopathy for baby eczema.,

save big with great mineral makeup bargains,
companies marketing mineral makeups,

prodam iphone praha,
Apple prodam iphone praha,

iphone clone cect manual,
manual for iphone clone cect,

fero 52 binoculars night vision,
fero 52 night vision,

best night vision binoculars,
buy, best night vision binoculars,

computer programs to make photo albums,
computer programs, make photo albums,

free printable tax forms,
printable tax forms, free here,


craftmatic adjustable air bed
craftmatic adjustable air bed, info here

boyd night air bed
boyd night air bed, low price

air bed in wisconsin
best air beds in wisconsin

cloud air inflatable bed
best cloud air inflatable beds

portable sealy air bed
portables, sealy air beds

aluminum rv luggage racks
aluminum made, rv luggage racks

air bed form raised
best air beds form raised

support equipments aircraft
best support equipments for aircrafts

informercials bed air
best, informercials bed air

mattress sized air beds
best mattress sized air bed

antique doorknob identification
antique doorknob, identification tips

troubleshooting dvd player
troubleshooting with the dvd player

flat panel television lcd versus plasma
flat panel television, lcd versus plasma pic the best

causes of economic recession
what are the causes of economic recession

bed air foam adjustable
bed air adjustable foam

hoof prints antique and unusual equestrian prints
hoof prints, antique equestrian prints

buy adjustable air bed
buy the best adjustable air beds

air bedscanadian stores
air beds, cheap canadian stores