Monday, September 14, 2009

My Apologies to Vera Farmiga

I dream of celebrity. I don't even know what day it is anymore. I was sick all weekend and sleeping erratically. When I woke up this morning (last night? yesterday afternoon?) I was convinced that I had just been interviewing Vera Farmiga. She looked exactly like Sarah Paulson.

Instead of asking Ms. Farmiga about the her new picture, the Oscar contender Up in the Air -- view trailer -- I kept asking her what I should have for lunch. Did she maybe have the pancake recipe that made Claudette Colbert wealthy in Imitation of Life? If so, could I borrow it? Vera/Sarah became very frustrated that I wasn't interested in her career (but I am. Even though I never write about it!)

"Order the damn BLT" she finally declared with exasperation.

I ignored her and ordered the tuna melt instead.

P.S. Fans of I Heart Huckabees will sadly note that I was not lucid dreaming and therefore could not work Shania Twain and Jude Law into the proceedings once the tuna sandwich came up.
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8 comments:

Erich Kuersten said...

You clearly have an unresolved complex involving waitresses. Was there a powerful adult figure who wore the waitress aprons in your childhood? Ja?

Univarn said...

I've got no idea what to say to this.... I recommend getting help :P.

Jack said...

No mayo!

Wayne B. said...

I guess you're a true actressexual, you even dream of them. :)

Anonymous said...

TRUE! You never write about VERA! WTF?!

Brian said...

I had a very weird cinephile dream last myself, which is not something that often happens. I was in a small screening room, watching the new feature from Chinese auteur Jia Zhang-ke. It was his first film made in English with american actors (his My Blueberry Nights I suppose, though I haven't seen that film) and on top of that it was a rock-and-roll musical about an all-girl band, and it was in 3-D. a weird kind of 3-D process where the people sitting near the "screen" (actually more like a giant glass case like at an aquarium, but the people inside were just projections) had a better view of the action than the people toward the back of the room. Luckily I was near the front, but one of my cinephile buddies who's currently at the Toronto Film Festival was seated near the back. I think it was my subconscious working though my film festival envy issues.

Ben said...

What a terrible trailer for the film. Bummer. Though it sounds great, that trailer told me nothing about the film beyond maybe that Anna Kendrick gets to exude more shades of emotion than she did in Twilight.

Anonymous said...

Faye Dunaway and Sigourney Weaver were in mine last night. Faye at my local library with me alternately drilling and fawning over her. And Sigourney I can't remember what for.