Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Guide to Recognizing You're Channing Tatum

Are you confused about whether or not you are Channing Tatum? If so, here's a simple guide to help you recognize.

Are you morally, physically... aesthetically opposed to wearing shirts?


Do you actually look younger with your head shaved?

Would you rather be modelling??

Do the simplest things confuse you???


Do you find that you can make everything about you?
(Like, say, when you're helping your friend choreograph her senior dance project and you give yourself the big solo in the middle of it. Or like when you're merely a supporting player --excuse me-- playa in a movie starring another young rising star and a hugely acclaimed comeback actor and your part isn't really bigger than the other supporting players (a double Oscar winner and a nominee), and yet you still make the DVD menu all about yourself)


If you answered to most of these questions, you are probably Channing Tatum!
*

48 comments:

Ray said...

LOL ... man, and I thought I WAS Channing Tatum until you cleared it up!!

Amazing isn't it? The guy had to do nothing at all except have the right sperm enter the right egg, and VIOLA! The entire world instantly revolves around him!

www.therecshow.com

Alex said...

EXCUSE ME??!!
Goes to show how little you know of him. He isn't as self-centered as you're saying. You're an idiot. A COMPLETE idiot. You don't know the stuff he's been through. The stuff he's going through right now. You're just ticked that he looks better and is loved more. I can't believe somebody would waste their freaking time talking smack about a person they don't even freaking know. And Ray, the world doesn't revolve around no one, you freaking moron. If anything, he has fans because he's the only person who's real. Y'all are COMPLETE FOOLS and you should get to know someone before you talk about them. Or the least you can do is DO SOME FREAKING RESEARCH YOU IDIOTS!!

NATHANIEL R said...

alex my man please calmm down.
love the channing. this is just for fun

Alex said...

Okay, true. I overreacted a bit. But how is making somebody look bad fun? Honestly.

John said...

This site is about film, yes? Looks like someone has a man crush! Hey Natty, feeling that inner Perez Hilton?

NATHANIEL R said...

Geez. You people are no fun today. This site has always mixed the serious and the silly… and has always enjoyed zee movie stars.

mikadzuki said...

Wow, this post seems to be stirring up some emotion. Who would have known?

I keep hearing about this Channing Tatum, and I don't know who he is. I'm like The Bening reading about Kiki on TFE. But then again, when it comes to young, hot playthings, my radar is mostly focused on the girls, so I guess I could be excused.

John said...

Calm down Natty, it's all good. Just hard to mix that Toronto coverage with your "Why have you not returned my phones calls Channing...WHY, WHY WHY"

mikadzuki said...

Of course! Most of us wouldn't give up your celebrity posts for the world.

J.D. said...

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Honestly, I was really surprised to how good he was in Saints.

smugguy said...

I'm completely supportive of a little shirtless Channing Tatum , if anything that's what's missing from most serious film journalism. I personally can't wait to see what Kimberly Peirce (sp?) does with him, considering his best role is probably in 'Guide to Recognizing Your Saints,' which wasn't a satisfying movie outside of his role.

As for the above posts, I half expected Alex to say "Channing loves his aunt. Leave Channing alone, you bastards!" No offense, but people really need to understand context.

Beau said...

haven't seen it. i've only seen 'step up' and that was because i was dragged to it by the bf and his friend. dreadful.

i actually laughed at the line 'skinny's gone! skinny's dead!'

...yes, i realize i'm going to hell.
fantastic.

Deborah said...

Square root? If I answered square root?

Okay, then I'm definitely not Channing Tatum.

Anonymous said...

Who else doesn't believe Mr. Tatum when he says he doesn't lift weights?

NATHANIEL R said...

see, it's supposed to be a check. but i fear symbols don't show well.

ah well.

you can't hit every post outta the park

especially whilst distracted by pecs and abs

Boyd said...

LOL - This is one of those times when a great post is overshadowed by even better comments. Am so loving this; please keep going...

Blog Expert said...

OK I am the most biased person you will find on this post. I created and run Channing's official site. If you want to know the real him (shirtless hottie, talented actor, and utterly down to earth person), feel free to check out the site at ChanningTatumUnwrapped.com

Stephen G said...

A post about Channing Tatum - with all those shirtless pics - is a very nice way to start the day.

I thought he was talented in Saints, so I rented Step Up on DVD. OMG, I haven't drooled that much since I was a baby.

I can't wait for Stop Loss. I just hope The Channing is not going to be another Colin Farrell, endlessly teasing me with the promise of hot looks + talent and not delivering on the latter, or else scorning it in a shitheap of bad movies.

Thank god for James McAvoy, who thusfar is showing himself to be talented, scrummy AND able to pick good roles and decent movies.

Anonymous said...

if a straight man would dedicate a post about Jessica Biel and her nipples/ass people would say it's not tasteful and inappropriate but i guess gay cinephiles think it's ok when it's a young male actor...
double standards anyone ?

Beau said...

we're not gay, we're just confused.

adam k. said...

Anonymous@7:23:

I just think of it as doing my part of to correct the REAL double standard of actresses having to be beautiful, and actors getting to be schlubs. Anyone who thinks male celebrities are more objectified than female ones is nuts. But I like to objectify hot men when I get the chance.

And frankly, if Jessica Biel is able to coast along in her acting career on her tits and ass without having any actual talent, I think her tits and ass are fair game for blog posts.

But people don't do posts about them cause there are already whole movies made about them instead (Sin City anyone?).

And still, it's not like Nathaniel is posting nude pictures/porn... it's not quite the same thing as tits and ass...

...so in general, I disagree with you.

Douglas Racso said...

i was laughing when i saw comments saying that you are stupid nat! I've always enjoyed your silly posts...

maybe alex is doing a bizarro entry comment...

Arkaan said...

Funniest thread ever.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Channing Tatum has a really great body, but christ he's ugly. He does look continuously confused and doing that silly pursed lip thing.

Funny, during She's the Man me and my female friend were like "hello!" when he showed up and then by the end we were "just put a bag over your head and let us ogle the rest, thank you".

Anonymous said...

Adam k.,

who said actresses have to be beautiful and actors get to be schlubs ? I never said that male actors are more objectified than female actors.. EXCEPT ON THIS SITE. I mean, do we have posts about Michelle Pfeiffer's legs ? Pfeiffer's thighs ? With pictures ? Maybe I'm blind and I missed them.

NATHANIEL R said...

omg these comments.

i was just having fun. plus well: i like me some Tatum. For the record I think he's good in A Guide To and She's The Man and kinda weak in Step Up but he needs to work on the range of his facial expressions. He's about 30 ahead of, say, Emmy Rossum but still...

stephen g your "drooling" comment -LOL.

as for double standards anon 7:23 people post about actresses bodies ALL THE TIME around the internets. maybe you're new to computers. Plus: I only mention that he is morally opposed to wearing shirts. that's quite different than nipple and ass talk.

anyway. we've been having so much cinephile festival talk (and we're about to start again with NYFF) that I thought --something more fun and silly as intermission

Anonymous said...

"people post about actress bodies all the time..."
On sites dedicated to films ? Like awardsdaily.com for instance ? I don't think so.
Your site is named The FILM Experience right ? I'm just saying that you would expect a site for cinephiles to be less.. superficial maybe ?
Funny, I don't see as much posts about great actors like Sean Penn or Chris Cooper.. I guess they're less hot/young/sexy ? Maybe they're actors and not models ?
by the way, Channing Tatum is hot in a very "I'm a model for Dolce & Gabbana" kind of way. He's no Paul Newman

Neel Mehta said...

Your site is named The FILM Experience right ? I'm just saying that you would expect a site for cinephiles to be less.. superficial maybe ?
Funny, I don't see as much posts about great actors like Sean Penn or Chris Cooper.. I guess they're less hot/young/sexy ?


Clearly, anon is new to the site. The FILM Experience has never been anything other than subjective. If anything, Nat, you should change your tagline from "Share in the obsession" to "Less objectivity. More objectification."

But I must admit, anon is on to something. Personally, I would find a post about a shirtless Chris Cooper demented and highly amusing. Maybe an installment of "A History Of..." to coincide with the release of The Kingdom next week? Think about it.

Anonymous said...

More Tatum shirtless !
More Pfeiffer shirtless !
And everyone will be happy

NATHANIEL R said...

sigh. everyone's a critic

the film experience did always and will always follow my own muse. some days it'll be sillier than others. this is not the first time someone has been seen here without a shirt on.

it won't be the last.

but in between those moods there are lots of others.

You'd think i'd just declared "F*** Pedro Almodovar. It's Channing Tatum is Naked Month!!!"

on a related note: Viggo Mortenson looks great naked too but y'all will probably not mind if I talk about Eastern Promises, right?

i find the tsk tsking depressingly primarily because you can't beat em or join em. gay blogs drop me from blogrolls because I'm "not gay enough" and suddenly I'm too gay

ah well... on to the NEW YORK FILM FESTIVAL

Anonymous said...

WHo said you were too gay ? It's not about being gay or not it's about giving equal opportunity to Michelle Pfeiffer to show her body in your posts as much as Channing Tatum

Arkaan said...

Let us marvel at this statement...

"It's not about being gay or not it's about giving equal opportunity to Michelle Pfeiffer to show her body in your posts as much as Channing Tatum"

Ponder this statement for a moment.

NATHANIEL R said...

oh and kamikaze this is how much Channing Tatum is a dangerous area for me: while I was creating this post my face actually started to hurt and i realized I was apeing his favorite lip pose while i was typing, snapshotting, and editing.

ohmygod. MIMICRY.
Somebody give me an oscar.

Neel Mehta said...

ohmygod. MIMICRY.
Somebody give me an oscar.


Let's go steal Philip Seymour Hoffman's. Clearly, he's not using it.

Strange thread. Maybe one day you'll calibrate The Film Experience to the right amount of gay.

Ray said...

Good Lord. All of this blathering and name-calling over Channing Fucking Tatum???

Fine. He's a great guy. Who gives a shit? The truth of the matter is that Channing Tatum is put on a pedestal and given all sorts of priveleges because he's good looking ... something he had no control over.

Everyone try to calm down. Jerk off, alex ... it'll make ya feel more at ease, and you can go back to defending more worthwhile subjects ... like Travis Fimmel or Markus Schenkenberg.

Dumbass.

www.therecshow.com

NATHANIEL R said...

i must accept guilt for making this comment thread even weirder than it already was. it was the day of 1,001 moods and schizo moodswings are contagious

i must sleep and tomorrow i will watch movies --one of which includes the aforementioned phillip seymour-hoffman ...my god the levels of this comment thread... who unfortunately looks nothing like Channing Tatum though Channing Tatum looks more like PSH's Oscar when stripped naked ...it just keeps looping back in on itself.. and painted in gold.

Steve said...

if a straight man would dedicate a post about Jessica Biel and her nipples/ass people would say it's not tasteful and inappropriate

Maybe not, but it'd be appropriate. I mean, what else does the girl have going for her? She got nice nipples, she got nice ass. At least she got that. They make a nice compliment to her tin ears.

You'd think i'd just declared "F*** Pedro Almodovar. It's Channing Tatum is Naked Month!!!"

Hell, I'm not gay and I'll admit I'd read EVERY DAMN POST that month. (Mostly for the 'F**k Pedro Almodovar' stuff, but still.)

adam k. said...

I'm pretty sure today was just one of those days the planets were out of alignment or something. I had a horrible day myself. All kinds of shit hit the fan in my brain. And look how testy everyone is...

The planets are weird, the moon is weird, something is up.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Incase you commenters were unaware, Nathaniel is gay. I can't imagine he cares to much about ogling women in a non-actressexual manner. There are plenty of places that show pictures of near-naked women. I'm sure they're a mere click or two away.

Anonymous said...

kamikaze camel,
i was just saying that maybe Nathaniel could give exposure to other actors who are also very good-looking (if that's so important) and have a worthy resume and great performances to their name. I could give you examples but i guess it doesn't matter, Mister Tatum seems to be highly regarded on this site. Good for him. Too bad for Benoit Magimel

NATHANIEL R said...

last anon I can only assume some of these gripes are due to new readership. I have a wide range of stars I cover --many of them foreign.

I do talk about other people. Magimel has even been nominated for an award here.

geez

if you want a fuller picture of stars i'm willing to talk about you might wanna check out the top 100 actors and actresses of the aughts and you'll see a lot more foreign stars getting play

Steve said...

The root of the problem, it seems, is admitting that you find someone attractive even if they're perceived to be marginally talented. While I think this is an unfair brush with which to tar Channing Tatum (didn't see Step Up, but he was damn good in Saints), I can understand the point... and to it, I can only say, so what? Is the movie industry not, to some extent, built on the objectification of marginally-talented, good-looking Next Big Things?

I mean, I admit that I would have angry, violent hate sex with Jessica Alba. I also admit that I think she's a vapid twit and I never want her near my movie screen. Does this make me shallow and evil, or merely just someone who is willing to admit that physical attraction is often separate from intellectual appreciation? Because if it's the former, I promise to only ogle Emmanuelle Beart and Virginie Ledoyen from now on.

mikadzuki said...

[i]Personally, I would find a post about a shirtless Chris Cooper demented and highly amusing.[/i]

Hey! Take a trip to Chris Cooper's IMDB page and you'll be shocked to read what some 40 years younger girls are saying about his appearance :D

Boyd said...

I glad you all took up on my advice :-)

In any case, being superficial is an art that has its own rewards, as long as one isn't superficial allllll the time.

sora said...

Would it be okay if I said I find Chris Cooper sexy as hell, or am I cwazy?

Anonymous said...

Love your new banner, Nathaniel

NATHANIEL R said...

boyd in a perverse day after way... I'm glad too! now that i've settled into my more normal 6 mood day.

steve yes that does make you shallow and evil. ;) kidding. I thank you for that comment. i do think Channing is marginally talented yes... and i'm all for ogling emmanuelle beart. i've already done so.

sora it would totally be OK. Were it not for the teeth, I'd say he was sexy in Adaptation too

Boyd said...

Oh, and by the way, if anyone is interested in Chan's opinion... I guess he wouldn't mind since his official site is called Channing Tatum UNWRAPPED.