Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Hump Day Hottie: Orlando Bloom

Despite the "film bitch" moniker... I am nothing if not a bleeding heart. So, I'm feeling for Orlando Bloom these days. I thought I'd stroke his ego (ahhh, stroking) by giving him the shout-out this Wednesday. His movie (Elizabethtown is tanking at the box office. His last movie (Kingdom of Heaven) tanked at the box office. And naturally, given his extraordinary beauty and ridiculously easy fortune (5 of his first 7 movies were blockbusters), the critics are out for blood. But honestly is it really his fault that he was a ninny in Troy? He was playing the part the way it was written thank you very much. And is it really his fault that Kingdom of Heaven had problems and Elizabethtown is (apparently) a mess?

How can you be hating on a face like this?


So, how do you like your Orlando best? Bloom is pretty tasty in all available varieties: Flynn-like swashbuckler, romantic and scruffy soul-searcher, modern metrosexual? Me, I guess I'm still partial to Elfin. I ♥
Legolas. I do.

P.S. in other Hump Day Hottie news, please congratulate me for eating up the new James Bond before the announcement was made.

17 comments:

adam k. said...

I think Clive Owen would've made a better James Bond.

And as for Orlando... am I the only gay man in America who isn't head over heels for him? He's cute enough, obviously, but I don't see how his appeal is any stronger than any other heartthrob out there.
Do you think the critics who blamed Kingdom of Heaven's badness on his acting really disliked his acting or were just trying to bring the movie down, out of jealousy? I haven't seen it, so I can't comment.

JavierAG said...

Personally I believe "Kingdom of Heaven" to be bland and cinematically unchallenging. Nothing wrong with Bloom, though. It was just so... boring.

I thought the same of the (equally dull) "Batman Begins". I can only imagine what Aronofsky would have done with this...

C+ for both.

nick said...

adam: no, you're not. I don't think he especially great looking, especially when he's got that awful long hair and beard thing going on. He's pretty cute sometimes, but there are much better looking men in Hollywood (Jake Gyllenhaal, Christian Bale.)

And I generally find bloom kind of annoying and pretty much bland and talentless. His fame is based purely on the gushing of teenage girls, so I can't honestly care much if his career is going down the drain.

Anonymous said...

I don't see what's so special either.

adam k. said...

Yeah, I don't think Bloom will last very long.
Though you gotta love Legolas and his naughty equestrain skills. Bloom's fame is totally LOTR's fault.

Anonymous said...

Nathaniel said: "And is it really his fault that Kingdom of Heaven had problems and Elizabethtown is (apparently) a mess?"

Well...he does get to read a script and know what part he's going to play before he actually takes it, so I'd say he's responsible for choosing bad scripts and roles that he isn't fit to play. No one is forcing him to make these inadequate film choices, he chooses them himself.

adam k. said...

And that goes for you, too, Julianne.

the boyfriend said...

adam k. - don't tell nathaniel, but I'm in your camp. He's pretty in that "drives pre-teen girls crazy" sort of way. Not enough for me.

adam k. said...

Haha.

Anonymous said...

Whoever anonymous is (name yourself mister!), that's the problem with writer/directors like Cameron Crowe. They get this big giant tag as a great writer or whatever and people sign on without reading whatever he's come up with now. And then you have perfectly adaquate people embarassing themselves.

I could not be any more happy that people think Vanilla Sky is trash and that Elizabethtown is dying because it will finally make people realise Crowe isn't the second coming. God, he's so annoying. I only liked Jerry Maguire and Say Anything...

Vanilla Sky is one of those rare F movies for me. all the positives (er, Cameron Diaz and the Time Square sequence) are so completely overtaken by everything else that is bad that it was painful to watch. And if I wanna see a Times Square sequence done better I'll pop in my 28 Days Later DVD.

STONE THE CROWE (er, I just don't like him)

Sorry bout that little rant there.

Orlando is alright I suppose. He's very pretty.

BTW, Kingdom Of Heaven did gangbusters overseas, so not all was lost.

-Glenn

JavierAG said...

Is that THE BOYFRIEND himself? Oh my God!

Jill said...

I also think Clive would have been a better James Bond, but I wouldn't kick Daniel Craig out of bed either.

Craig has the right sang-froid for the role that could make him the best Bond since Connery. I might even go see a Bond movie with him in it.

As for Orlando, well, the problem is he's prettier than most of the girls you put him up against....and he has absolutely ZERO screen presence.

Legolas is memorable because he got to do cool things, not because Bloom is such a good actor. Sorry, but I think if Orlando wasn't British, he'd be yet another Hollywood aspiring model/actor. (Nat, you've got a cuter one at home anyway. *grin*)

Anonymous said...

No! Clive Owen should NOT have been Bond. I mean, I personally want Owen to have a career thanks!

-Glenn

Anonymous said...

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! Pamela anderson 21 Mighty moose hockey Asthma 26 swimming Housewares brands krups coffee makers big apple shopping phendimetrazine online Elizabeth bentley flax mill red kitchen aid coffee makers Natural antiaging skin care Acceptance auto insurance company atlanta ga Fieldcrest kitchen towels Portable commercial dishwasher

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! Pa auto insurance quote payment online payment online paypal shopping cart bound gagged women bondage Accutane guild securities fraud legal How laser eye surgery works north houston 35+bontril+mg Cheapest provigil france Contact lens styles Peter wentz penis Info on winter coats for dogs

Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info »

Anonymous said...

Hey, landed on your blog, nice stuff. I found a cool new tool for our blogs... www.widgetmate.com It helps get latest news for our keywords directly on to our blog. I added it on mine. Worked like a charm.