Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Gifting

Since I am not Irish I thought it only appropriate to appropriate the holiday for my own purposes as most Americans do by wearing something green today and saying silly things like "kiss someone Irish"... or, wait, is that Irish people saying that to get kissed? Either way, a big smooch to all the Irish readers --especially those that are actually reading in Ireland!

I hereby gift the discovery of a four leaf clover to the following people who can certainly use the luck:

Juliette Lewis (left, where the hell is that one role to remind everyone of her considerable screen power?), Kirsten Dunst (Sofia, save her!), Maria Bello (still waiting for overdue Oscar love. And better roles), Ewan McGregor (what's going on there?), Lindsay Lohan (finally out of leggings and a redhead again... can this career be saved?), Adrien Brody (The Pianist is starting to feel like ancient history --where's the dramatic intense follow up?), Meg Ryan (please let The Women be a hit. She has been suffering too long. You know these romantic comedy queens need the public adoration. Imagine Julia Roberts without the mass undulating waves of crowd ardor. It ain't pretty, right?)

And since they'll need major luck to ever win their long awaited Oscars, a huge mutated clover with gold specks to the Academy's abused ex-girlfriends Sigourney Weaver, Miranda Richardson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joan Allen, Annette Bening and Glenn Close, their rudely dismissed one night stands Kathleen Turner and Angela Bassett, and their current fiance Kate Winslet. Jesus, they have been stringing that last girl along forever. It's like they're never going to set the date.


To the following baby filmmakers I'm gifting pots of gold so that they don't have to wait around for financing to make follow-ups to their amazing debuts or add another gem to their small but interesting filmography.

Fernando Eimbcke (pictured right). I'm eager to see what else he has in him after the charming witty and moving Duck Season. Although in truth I'd also like to paint myself gold and jump in the pot to await him... but that's a story for another blog. *Ahem*
Jonathan Glazer I'm sure that Birth (his second film) didn't line his block with future sponsors, but if I were a wealthy producer I'd be donating for the love of the art, you know. That movie was so misunderstood and he deserves more shots. His first film (Sexy Beast) was also a keeper.
Kimberly Peirce -her follow up to Boys Don't Cry (Stop-Loss) opens next Friday but it was 9 long years in coming. Anything some multi-billionaire can do to rush #3 along would be great. Nine years is too long in between projects so let's throw some gold the way of other fresh talent like Peter Sollett (Raising Victor Vargas), Sarah Polley (Away From Her), and Nicole Holofcener (Walking and Talking, Friends With Money)... because, though Catherine Keener doesn't need the help staying employed, they work so well together and few other filmmakers give her leading roles.

What will St. Patrick's Day --or night at this point-- bring you readers?
*

15 comments:

FranklinBluth said...

Adrian Brody was pretty good in 'The Darjeeling Limited'.

NATHANIEL R said...

i totally agree but when will he get an opportunity to really WOW like he had in The Pianist?

Rich Aunt Pennybags said...

Although I love Boys Don't Cry, and have waited a long time to see more from Kimberly Pierce, I just found out recently that she was quite irresponsible in the way that she made that movie, eg., getting sued for libel, didn't get anyone's life rights, was sued by the producers, etc. I had no idea about this, but it may explain why she hasn't made a movie in so long.

fernando said...

Ewan mcGreggor could be seen in recently in Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream.

He was also playing in Othello on stage in London until last month.

He's in Deception alongside Hugh Jackman (what a pairing), which comes out April 25.

Incendiary, in which he plays alongside Michelle Williams, premiered in Sundance in January.

He's about to start shooting a film with Jim Carrey where they're supposed to be lovers.

Not exactly un-employed, don't know what more do you want

adam k. said...

re: Ewan... it's not that he's not working, his IMDB project list clearly says that he is (and that he never stopped), but it seems that lately, all he's been in are shitty blockbusters that aren't worth seeing (The Island) or teeny tiny indies that never see the light of day (even the relatively high-profile Cassandra's Dream seems to barely exist).

Everything in moderation, Ewan. Can't we have another Moulin Rouge! or Down With Love or even a Young Adam? That was the last film of his I saw, that I can recall. I've given up all hope of his ever getting nommed for an oscar, but I wish he'd at least be in memorable films.

*I apologize if he's been in something really good recently that I just never saw.

And also... I worry for Kate Winslet. This may be sacrilege, but... she's starting to look really old. I say this completely out of love. I love her a lot. But I want her to keep looking young and pretty. Will she keep getting the same sorts of roles if she starts aging fast? This is painful to say, but her face seems to be aging at the same rate as, say, a man's... i.e. someone who doesn't care. And she may not realize just how unforgiving Hollywood can be, and I think her hardline anti-cosmetic-work stance is leaving her few options.

It's all about MAINTENANCE, Kate. No one wants you to actually get work done. But where are those expensive anti-aging cremes??? Peels? Moisturizing? These are all key.

(sorry for being a bitch)

NATHANIEL R said...

fernando --yeah, i only meant the types of films that Ewan has been in. It's just not what I was hoping for post- Moulin Rouge! but yes, i still love him.

ryansumera said...

nat, you seem to have forgotten an actress who is actually part irish. where is the love for anjelica huston?

Brian said...

You probably know that Eimbcke's new film Lake Tahoe has already begun its trip around the festival circuit, so far with stops in Berlin and Guadalajara. But I thought it would be worth mentioning anyway...

Brodie said...

What would you nominate Juliette Lewis for, Nat? She's my favouriiiiiite actress.

jessica said...

Well, Ewan has no control over which movies turn into Moulin Rouge's...Of course, you might argue that he could use better judgement, which may be true - but if he had 'better judgment' he may have never made movies like Moulin Rouge or Down with Love or Young Adam or Velvet Goldmine, or etc.

NATHANIEL R said...

jessica ... i guess i'm just frustrated that he had such an amazing creative great movie run from like 96 through 01 but it's been SO quiet.

it's like those star wars movies just deflated his career ---even if they made him a bigger name.

that said: loved him in Down with love.

thombeau said...

Mmm, I'd pretty much have to agree with this entire post!

Catherine said...

Wahey!

- reading from Ireland

Billy D said...

I JUST heard on the news that Anthony Minghella died....WTF????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Billy D said...

Jesus, it's confirmed. No cause of death yet though. I'm just sad. No more Jude Law collaborations. I.....don't know what to say.