Request: Cher

Each Monday I take a request. This week's topic comes from David G in New York. The topic is...

CHER
In the split second it took me to type the name just now, I was tempted to hit "publish post" and leave a single word as my commentary. For what is more descriptive of Cher than...Cher?

I am too young --god, I love typing that. so rare-- to have any meaningful association with the first incarnation: The one from The Sonny & Cher Show. But I do recall that she was on TV when I was a child (the exact context escapes me. Maybe it had something to do with The Donny & Marie Show ?) The first memory is one of immediate disapproval. Cher appears on the TV in all her 70s glory and there is my mother, suddenly agitated and fuming:

[translated from Mormonese]
Natty's mom: You can't watch this cheap slutty whore!
Natty: Wait --who designed that fabulous gown?

I kid. I didn't really ask about the gown, though I'm 100% certain that I was hypnotized by the sparkly bits and wanted to see much more of the this [translation] "cheap slutty whore" [/translation]. Of course I did see much more of her. Everyone did. Before Madonna ever hit the ground running, Cher had already reinvented herself thrice. First as a television comic and wife. Then a single woman and #1 solo act. And, in the 80s, a respected and Oscar-winning actress. You may have correctly named that as my favored incarnation. I never wanted to 'snap out of it.'

Unfortunately in the 90s I had to. She stopped working as much. Maybe I was projecting but I felt a tiny hint of resignation in that Mermaids star turn. Like "oh, shit. This is no Moonstruck. I've peaked" I watched with confusion as she let Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci steal the movie right out from under her shoop shoop.

Let us not speak of the infomercials, the incessant plastic surgery, and the neverending "farewell" tour. Let us merely acknowledge with some degree of awe the improbably long reign of that half breed dark lady. She's a true national treasure.

Last Week's Request: The Sound of Music
P.S.: Any requests for next week? Comment. Maybe I'll choose your pet topic.

tags: Cher, entertainment, mormon, celebrity

Four Random Bits

Making Me Laugh:
Reese Witherspoon Shooting Wes Anderson Film... (the gilded moose)
Making Me Angry:
Marvel and DC's despicable corporate behavior. (boingboing)
Making Me Jealous of Alanis Morrissette:
Ryan Reynolds' Abs (my new plaid pants)
Making Me Smile:
Welcome to Spring. I love seasons and the changing thereof. Which is why it's always been NY for me rather than LA I s'pose. Spring isn't my favorite (that'd be Fall) but I'm still excited for its arrival.

Coming Soon #12: "BUG"

Coming Soon But Not Soon Enough
#12 Bug (Lions Gate. Supposedly arriving in December)

The cropped Avedon photo to your left appeared in full frontal glory in The New Yorker [NSFW version] back when Tracy Letts' play "Bug" was all the rage Off Broadway a couple of seasons ago. I don't have to tell you that Richard Avedon is a great photographer but what I love about this photo is the way it catches so much of Bug the play; the exposed actors (not just physically, mind you) and the paranoid hostility projected from its insular love affair. The stars were Michael Shannon (who will reprise his role in the film) and Shannon Cochran. Ashley Judd will be taking over for Cochran in the film.

This story involves a down on her luck woman (Judd) hiding out from her estranged ex-con husband (Harry Connick Jr) and falling in with a sweet stranger (Shannon) who protects her. The play never leaves the woman's hotel room. It starts off very grounded and gritty but lifts off into the surreal in the second act. For those of you who have not had the privilege of attending much live theater, trust me when I say that when you see a great show it packs a visceral wallop. There's a unique potency felt when you're breathing the same air as the storytellers.

Bug's memorable narrative force could make for a corker of a film. But the intense lunatic vibe of its second half was so rooted in theatricality (and close quarters with the audience) that I scratch my head wondering how this'll transfer to the screen. It'll be a high wire act. William Friedkin, the film's director, will need every bit of his 70s Exorcist powers to make it as explosive as it could be. Certainly he'll have to go without the nudity (Hollywood being more prudish than live theater) so Judd and Shannon will have to give extremely naked performances to do full justice to the unraveling souls of Bug.

tags: Michael Shannon, Bug, Ashley Judd, theater, theatre, Harry Connick Jr

Supporting Actress Sundays

StinkyLulu invited Nick Davis and I to participate in an insanely long project called "Supporting Actress Sunday". I'm in. I never turn down chances to pay homage to the underappreciated supporting players.

and twosies beat onesies but nothing beats three.

Today Lu' is honoring Maureen Stapleton in 1970's Airport. Read more about this project here (You too can play along at home)

Coming Soon (But Not Soon Enough): An Introduction

In preparing seriously for the silly April Fools Oscar Predictions, I get a crash course in what (theoretically) each new movie year will be like. 2006 has, at this writing, lots of crime stories, abundant Best Actress showcases, the return of many beloved acclaimed auteurs, and adaptations of interesting source material that could go either way. Over the next 12 days, I'll be previewing the dozen future films that have piqued my interest the most. This is not a list of the films that I think will be best or a list of what I think Oscar will go for (that's on April 1st, remember. Goodness you have a short attention span).

Tied for #13th place (just missing the list)
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
(Warner Bros. Supposedly arriving in October)


Maybe the Mountain finally broke my resistance to Westerns? I find myself excited about this one. Or maybe I just love the title (I pray they don't change it). Or maybe I just love Brad Pitt (duh). This Assassination comes from the director of Eric Bana's breakout film, Chopper. Despite Brad's media ubiquity (care of Brangelina) he doesn't actually make that many movies so we have to sit up and take notice when he does. Brad plays the assassinated James and Casey Affleck plays the titular coward Ford. Hefty Bonus Points: Mary Louise Parker is in it.

Zodiac
(Paramount. Supposedly arriving in September)


David Fincher is a fine director. My admiration doesn't just stem from that terrific trilogy of Madonna music videos either ("Express Yourself", "Oh Father" and "Vogue"). I consider him 4 for 5 in regards to his feature film output. Only The Game is a miss in my book (and a highwire interesting miss at that). His 'sick & wrong trilogy' (my idea of a trilogy. not his) was a major announcement of "new auteur in the house!"Alien³ is underappreciated if completely vile. Se7en is masterfully wound up and impactful. Fight Club is a problem but weird in all the best ways. Fincher gets a lot of praise for his visual flair but what's less commonly noticed is how good he is with certain actors. He's directed not just Brad Pitt's best performance but his second best as well.

Zodiac, Fincher's new film about a serial killer terrorizing 1960s & 70s San Francisco, does not star Brad Pitt. But since it does star Jake Gyllenhaal, I'm not complaining. The serial killer genre is played out, as far as I'm concerned, but Fincher did direct the best one (you heard me Silence fans -throw down!) so maybe he can squeeze another diamond out. I'm also totally game to see Fincher's first period piece.

Tomorrow
#12: an adaptation of a terrific but unfilmable play I saw and loved...

tags: David Fincher, Zodiac, Jake Gyllenhaal, Brad Pitt

Dust That Doesn't Settle

On March 5th I was angry and hurt like I've never been at the Oscar (even though they've made plenty of truly stupid decisions before). On March 9th, on "national get over it day" (no, really, there's a day) I was trying to make peace with it and move on.

Two weeks later I have to say that I'm glad that the dust hasn't really settled. Or, if it is settling, it's clear that my theory is going to be the one that history embraces. I'm not bragging. It didn't take a genius to see that homophobia was to blame. All the other theories trotted out are disproved by 77 years of history. And noticeably those who were the most vocally opposed to the theory were the media types who had been exhibiting homophobia all along when discussing/dismissing Brokeback Mountain or those who had tirelessly shilled for Crash like Ebert & Roeper (Roeper has gone on the offensive against Brokeback's fans. The Chicago media cabal's campaign triumphed and they're still knocking the losers. Bullying is ugly.

I love this recent article from Creative Loafing because it looks back on what happened on Oscar night with more distance and a clearer head than I had that night. Like the frequent charges of racism which the Academy has been trying to live down forever, those 6000 members have added another dark cloud above their heads as they struggle to operate and maintain their cultural luster.

I'm prepping my 2006 cinema coverage now but I wonder, like I've never wondered before, if those annual op-ed pieces about the demise of the Oscars as a cultural institution have been right all along. I've always resisted/ignored those articles since I have been an Oscar addict my whole life. But maybe I was wrong? If the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is really a dinosaur, as many naysayers have claimed, perhaps history will mark the dismissed gay cowboys as a devastating meteorite impact.

Baldies, Mutants, Bitches, and Countdowns

Week in Review: In Case You Missed Anything...
Last weekend hip moviegoers were finally discovering the endearing Mexican comedy Duck Season while yours truly was staring lustfully at other people's "listing" projects even though my own, The Top 100 Actors of the Aughts, was still raging and is now 1/4th complete (and ready for your votes). It was all in keeping with the general character of March: busy and spread thin. And speaking of "spread too thin": X-Men 3: The Last Stand

Last night V For Vendetta finally opened and Natalie's bald head inspired my naked history of bald women detour. Meanwhile, Natalie's ex Gael Garcia Bernal was still piping hot. As were Irish men. But apparently not Irish women. Odd. That said, the only truly important celebrity event that mattered last week, was the one that the media all but ignored. Liza Minelli turned 60!!!. We tasted the wine. We heard the band. We started celebrating. Our table was waiting.

Plus: The hills were alive with The Sound of Music. The cylons found New Caprica in Battlestar Galactica. And Catwoman, Maleficent, Baby Jane, Maggie the Cat, Anita, Rizzo, Leia, Madonna, Missy Elliott, (what a lineup, eh?) and many others joined forces to bring you the video spectacle "She's A Bitch"

Goody Two Shoes?

You Are 30% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Monty is OK. Physically...

Just an FYI for those who expressed concern about last Friday's kitty post, Monty's check up went fine. But get this ~the Vet gingerly suggested that my adored feline has anxiety/depression problems and thinks he should be on Prozac. Yes, you heard that right.

Only on the Upper West Side...

Kiss Someone Irish

Happy St. Patrick's Day... (if I could figure out how to make this text green, I would.)

if you still need more kissables there's Cillian Murphy & Jonathan Rhys Meyers

[polysexual disclaimer: i wanted to throw a few Irish Actresses on here but all I found was this article on the absence of famous Irish actresses]

25 Actors. Not Enough Time.

Five more names have been added to the Top 100 Actors of the Aughts Countdown.

Because I am disappointingly not two people I can only cover so much at a time. We'll take a little break from this countdown now as we preview 2006 culminating in the April Fools Oscar Predictions for this new film year. [yes, despite the worst Oscar f***over moment of all time --they didn't just jump the shark, they lept over Moby Dick -- I'm still planning to cover next year's race.]

If you're still hung up on all these talented actors, though, please vote on the new poll @ the main site. You'll be restricted to my overall choices in groupings of 25, but when my countdown is finished there'll be an alternate "readers choice" numerical ranking from the four polls you'll be voting in. It all sounds needlessly complicated but that just isn't so dear readers. Complications are needed. Complications are preciousss.

"She's a Bitch" -Video Spectacular

First of all my apologies to the ever fierce Missy Elliott (go out and buy all her CDs. now.) who provides the vocals but does not appear. This is my favorite of all video edits I've done... [NSFW due to Missy's love of profanity]

How many hot bitches from the movies and pop culture do you recognize herein? So many diva-tastic characters I think you'll feel your ass has been thoroughly kicked. (But you'll be begging these ladies for more.)

YOUTUBE tried to destroy this video but it's been reborn here

Tags: missy elliott, madonna, catwoman, bette davis, music video

Things I Learned On the Internet While Suffering From Spirit Crushing Insomnia Last Night

Scarlett Johansson is the prettiest -WWTDD
Malick makes cinephiles glad to be alive -Mainly Movies
The hottest new euphemism is "I prefer dating in Europe" -Defamer
Gretchen smells of Oscar buzz -popbytes
Manatees are (debatably) hip -You Can't Make This Up
Sundays = Supporting Actresses -StinkyLulu

and finally (sigh) yet another sign that Lindsay Lohan is still clueless about her talent and worth. Even after working with Meryl, Kevin, Lily, and Robert Altman for chrissakes (*double sigh*). Seriously. Why does this girl insist on comparing herself to wasted talents (Britney), striving to look just like lesser talents (any Z-Grade anorexic Hollywood blonde), or partying/ befriending no talent celebs (Paris, Wilmer et al). I love La Lohan but girl must have zero self esteeem. She shoulda just kept working at her acting and been a huge movie star her whole life when all of these flashes in the pan were entirely forgotten.

X-Men 3,4,5,6,7: The Last Stand

I know I'm late on this. But in regards to the newest X-Men 3: The Last Stand trailer. Methinks they are biting off far more than they can chew. Far more than even the Blob could chew.

It certainly looks appealing for the comic geek and mutant fan within me. But trying to combine three or so epic storylines from the comics --a gene cure, Dark Phoenix, political pressure to smack down on mutants (which usually leads to something they call "Sentinels" though this trailer shows no signs that they've gone that far into the comic's lengthy mythology) gives me great pause. And adding what looks to be about 9 new characters --even if some of them are mere cameos. Really. You wanna do that?

I fear outright disaster. Pretty disaster but still...


Remember when Batman Returns in the interest of upping the ante introduced 3 villains (definitely one too many). It was so terrific visually and Keaton and Pfeiffer had such hot/weird chemistry but the movie was freaking cluttered plotwise. Yeah, that problem seems a given here: the interesting stuff getting shortshrift.

This is not NewYork X-Menanderplatz. They gotta fit this into 2 and a 1/2 hours, don't they? I worry but I pray they prove me wrong. I loved X2. I hope to love X3.

More Haiku Fun

Again, I did not write these. Written by guests of my Oscar party 10 days ago. I do not neccessarily condone the views therein ;)

Crash
"Snow falls on L.A.
emotional porno just
leads to shooting blanks"

Good Night and Good Luck
"'good night and good luck'
the film is its own haiku
(...and kind of boring)"

Brokeback Mountain
"Wyoming Relief:
When the pup tent's a rockin'
Sheep no longer scared"

Awareness of March Month

In the spirit of Crash's cultural sensitivity, I give you the following post: Did you know that March is...

Deaf History Month

(more Marlee vs. Kathleen click here[post] or here [vid])

Irish-American Heritage Month

Mental Retardation Awareness Month


National Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Month


and March is also...National Multiple Sclerosis Education and Awareness Month
AND National Women's History Month

Basically March is a slut. It gets around.

Jeffrey, Daniel, Josh, and Djimon

The countdown of my 100 fav' actors of the "00"s continues with a snake, a gladiator, an angel in America (Jeffrey Wright, pictured left), and an acting legend with a frustrating love of unemployment.

Hump Day Hottie: Gael Garcia Bernal

Four years ago today the beautifully rendered, endearing road trip juvenilia of Y Tu Mama Tambien made it to the States after proving itself a smash in Mexico. I thought this was as good a time as any to revisit the love (and drooling) by spotlighting its ascendant star, one of the best young actors anywhere on the planet, Gael Garcia Bernal. [FB Awards: 2001 & 2004]

You can bet that he'll be showing up at my countdown of the top 100 actors of this decade (now in progress). You can also bet that you won't be seeing him for a long time still --he's way the hell up there. I give loan you Gael. Drink him up while you can.


Previous international HDHs...
Thandie Newton , Jonathan Rhys-Meyers , Daniel Craig , Emmanuelle Béart and Takeshi Kaneshiro

Billy Elliott Grows Up

This post is for Glenn... we know you're celebrating somewhere out there.


previous Jamie Bell love @ the experience:
Top 100 Actors * Billy Elliott review * Alternate Vanity Fair Cover