Friday, March 12, 2010

Oscar Night in Review: The Fashions (Pt 2)

The Oscar night posts are almost over. I swear. Oh, you'll start missing the Oscars in a month. Shut up with your "will you stop, please?" griping.

also: worst & weirdest moments | wonderful moments | fashion review part 1 | all 09/10 Oscar posts

One of the crazy stressful things about Oscar night for the ladies must be the simple fact that the pictures taken of them that night go on for infinity. They get recycled each year for "best and worst" of video montages and magazine articles. But in the "viewing parties" and the after parties and such, there's no such museum effect. Without that pressure, the stars are more likely to let loose a little. But what's strange sometimes is that this is still how they're presenting themselves within industry circles when the industry has the biggest spotlight on. All of the following ensembles are from those types of parties. This is just a tiny sampling but you probably haven't seen these photos a million times like you have their Kodak theater counterparts.

yes please


from left to right: We all fell in love with Amy Adams when she was playing pregnant Ashley in Junebug. Now she doesn't need the foam padding and we fall in love with her all over again. Make some good movies once you're done with maternity leave Amy! Lea Michelle is going what you call "above and beyond". She already has a hit TV show (GLEE. I can't wait for April!) and now she apparently wants everyone to know she can do movie star glamour, too. Sometimes I wish I were a casting director just so I could give Maria Bello parts that are worthy of her. Catherine O'Hara!!! I had no idea that she actually went out to industry events. She looks great and I hope with all my heart that people in Hollywood get as much joy out of her For Your Consideration facelift expression as I do. But maybe it cuts too close?

er... Yes, well... maybe. Okay, no.


from left to right: I get in trouble every time I suggest that any particular actress is a bit too thin. But it's even more perplexing when it comes to Leslie Mann. I mean, she's a good actress and she automatically gets work because she stars in her husbands movies, so why doesn't she eat? I think I like the concept of this dress but on her it looks too much like she's starring in Alien V. The slimy Giger babydemon has just burst from her chest cavity. Salma Hayek is wearing something that reminds me of Ralph Fiennes tattoo in Red Dragon and I don't want to think about serial killers when I'm looking at beautiful honeys. Christina Hendricks is awesome. Can't wait for Mad Men 4. Maybe this is too tight and the poof shouldn't be there but... damn. Gabrielle Union can pull off yellow and not everyone can. But that doesn't mean she should.

EEEeeeeeek!

from left to right: I always forget where I know Kate Mara from (and then I have to remind myself "Brokeback Mountain, self. Why do you always forget this?") but this dress is not making a good case for her. If I have to look at Hilary Swank so do you! Jeezus... This is not a hooker convention, Hil, this is an Oscar party. Sometimes when I realize that she will always be employed --thanks to that one admittedly genius performance 11 years ago -- I weep. So many years we've had to put up with her already. So many more to come (she's only 35)! Can't think of one thing that is right with Suzanne Sommers and can't count the things that have gone wrong here. Rita Wilson plays only one role in movies -- sassy best friend to movie star of a certain age -- and does it reasonably well. But just because you're rich enough to buy all the black fabric in Malibu doesn't mean you should wear all of it to the same party.

13 comments:

The Know Nothing Know it All said...

Re: Suzanne Somers...
I know the world needs its Sally Kirklands, but they don't need many of them.

Anonymous said...

I'm not much of a Swank fan, but she was pretty darn great in Million Dollar Baby... believe it!

Lara said...

For all I care Amy Adams can take an indefinite maternity leave.

billybil said...

Oh Nate, you are fun to read! Thanks so much!

Anonymous said...

Hilary Swank 4-EVA!!! Stop the hate already. It's old and tired.

NATHANIEL R said...

theknownothing -- LOL. that's so so true. I think at most we need two.

anon -- sure. but she makes it so hard!!! i mean look at that outfit?! CLASSLESS.

Anonymous said...

I don't think so an@n. That's a good point Nath about La Swank's hooker convention. Rumor has it she made a boob job.

By the way, Where's La Cruz as the Best Dressers?

NATHANIEL R said...

anon --- Cruz's dress bored me to tears. i feel like she's worn it or something close to it way too much.

Henry said...

Hilary Swank's not-too-there dress reminds me of the Office episode where the staff debates whether she's hot or not. This case, at least for me, she just doesn't appear hot, even though that's a dress that would look great on 99% of the other women out there.

Then again, I suppose I never found her attractive in the first place. I think it's that manly square jawline she has.

Amy Adams looks hot. Always. Even with the bump.

Christina Hendricks, you're killing me! Dress's color does NOT compliment her skin tone. If you're heading to the Oscars, get the Mad Men costuming department to put you in something that works.

NATHANIEL R said...

i can't believe the catherine o'hara groupies didn't realize i included her in this lineup. weirdness

Peggy Sue said...

Funny, funny, funny post Nathaniel!

Shocked with Swank's hidious dress considering she looked amazing those two nights that Annette would love to erase...

Maria Bello is amazing and Catherine o'Hara is always fun to watch. A regular tv-show for her please!

NATHANIEL R said...

Peggy... one must never bring up the dread sunday nights in 2000 and 2005! Especially not when intoning the royal name of The Bening.

Peggy Sue said...

Oops!