11:01 Eddie Izzard is so great. Smart choice of host. Have you ever seen his concerts? Brilliance. Eddie talks so fast and in so many circles (His show CIRCLE you must rent) that I can't even comment on this opening monologue but he's the best. "We're going to have shame and fear tonight... " haha. He's now telling the winners that they haven't really won if they win. The other nominees can still win instead if they kill the winner. Hee. Is this what Adam Shankman actually wanted when he started talking about the Oscars as reality tv, a sudden death round?
11:09 Best Supporting Actor winner Woody Harrelson (The Messenger) to his fellow nominees "I think you're all better." Is that so they won't try to take him out?
11:15 Regina King and Emile Hirsch are announcing Best First Feature. I like Regina King. Does anyone reading watch Southland? I like her perpetually sour mood in that, there's depth under it and you wonder why her character can't smile more... and you love it whenever her wall drops a little. Anyway, I think she's an underrated actor. She was so good in Ray and The Year of the Dog, too. Crazy Heart wins
Writer/director Scott Cooper is quite attractive but uh... "If I see 20 or 25 films a year, you can bet that 22 or 23 of them are independent films" In an acceptance speech. You're a filmmaker and that's all you see? And you're saying it out loud?
11:26 Vera Farmiga is smoking hot. Those pupils are crazy light and she's smart enough to always surround them with the smoky eye. If you stare at them too long she will possess your very soul. And you might like it, too. Maggie Gyllenhaal is also looking sensational if a little more reality based... and favoring assymetrical decolletage. Yay, Geoffrey Fletcher wins Screenplay for Precious.
11:31 There's no commercials in this thing? That's when I do my photo editing! And pee. I need to pee. If there's no commercials soon I'll have to pull a Bad Blake. Where's the plastic jug? Speaking of... Jeff Bridges is singing one of Crazy Heart's numbers. I can't believe Oscar didn't want Jeff up there strumming and warbling. I'm not crazy about this "Funny How Falling Feels Like Flying" song though. Give me the Oscar nominated one or the "Somebody Else"
11:39 Mo'Nique wins Supporting Actress for Precious looking as polished and beautiful as ever. She talked about bringing your A game to a low budget movie and that the wardrobe for Mary Jones came from producer Lisa Cortes's closet. 'What that says about Lisa Cortes, I don't know' hahaha. This is such a great acceptance speech. To a beaming Gabby "You are a special gift to the universe"
11:45 Mariah Carey arrives... uh, expanded... to present Best Cinematography. Roger Deakins wins for A Serious Man. Eddie Izzard returns and the microphone keeps rising up from the floor and then falling back down. He calls it a "strange penis thing". The crowd doesn't seem to think he's funny but he is brilliantly funny. It's just his kind of cerebral chain of thought rapid fire cumulative laughs (funnier the more they sink in) is not the type of humor that maybe translates best to showing up in between acceptance speeches.
11:57 The John Cassavettes Award (for a super low budget movie) goes to Humpday. That was a good one.
12:03 The Robert Altman Award (for ensemble) goes to A Serious Man. For a second I thought they said A Single Man and I was like "Colin Firth and Julianne Moore are an ensemble??? Where I come from we call that a duo!" And in case you've always wanted to know what Ellen Chenoweth (Casting Director) looks like, here she is!
I've been seeing her name on movie screens my whole life and I did always wonder. Lately I pretend that she's actually Kristin Chenoweth's older sister and that they do not get along. Hence Kristin's trouble finding worthy film roles.
12:12 We so want to see Son of Precious. John Waters just pitched it. Someone to Watch Award goes to Easier With Practice.
12:16 This night is all about the blacktresses! Now it's Taraji P Henson's turn to come out looking fan-tas-tic. Oh, it's a tribute to Roger Ebert. Taraji is so cute, giggling, 'You always had great things to say about me so I love you!' Well, at least she's honest about it! I always wonder when filmmakers and actors honor critics. Like, do they do it through gritted teeth? It must be an odd relationship. Ebert and his wife are sponsoring this award "Truer Than Fiction" for documentary filmmakers. The Ross Brothers from Ohio win. They thank their mom "she's our producer... literally." Hee.
12:23 Carey Mulligan, like Marisa Tomei before her tonight, is wearing some sort of crushed jewelry superglued to a tight black bodice. This is another Best Screenplay category. I'm confused. We already had one. Maybe that was a "first screenplay" and this is for old pros? (500) Days of Summer wins. I bet this feels good for these guys after the Oscar snub.
12:31 ANVIL! THE PERFORMANCE OF ANVIL. You know, I'm glad people discovered this movie (rent it!) but the music is not why the movie is good ;) And Anvil! The Story of Anvil wins Best Documentary.
Incidentally, Maria Bello & Lenny Kravitz presented this award. I am so hot for Bello (I know I know blonde 40something actresses. they kill me) and I wish she'd get better jobs. There was a very weird moment when she seemed to be trying to welcoming Lenny to acting (via Precious) only she's like really talented. And he's like a musician who acted once. I kept wanting him to bust out "American Woman" with Maria Bello in the Heather Graham role.
12:47 Why do I hate David Spade? I always have. It's a weird personal reaction but ewww. I can't even look at the screen. Foreign Film goes to An Education.
Lone Scherfig fawns all over Carey Mulligan verbally just like she does visually in the movie! Surprisingly she reserves even crazier praise for Peter Sarsgaard 'best actor she's ever worked with' or some such. He looks adorable bald.
Stella Artois has sponsored tonight's event. But you might say they have hijacked the night's event because every time someone wins the logo comes up and blocks out the delighted winner. Bad form sponsor, bad form.
12:53 Best Actress goes to GABOUREY SIDIBE. Woooooot. I am gonna transcribe the whole thing (insert your own giggles) because she's just too delightful for words. Or rather... more delightful with words. Gimme a sec.
[huge applause] Stop! I'm getting nervous.Delightful.
Thank you. [looking at statue] It's got wings on it, yay!
I'm so excited. Okay, I'm kind of a dork. My mom used to pay me $2 a day to go to school and I used to ride by an independent movie theater. I saved up my money for a week so I could see Welcome to the Dollhouse. And that's the first film I saw where I thought... I could do that. So to be corny I'll say that is perhaps when my independent spirit was born. Now I am officially corny.
I'd like to thank our casting directors Billy Hopkins and Jessica Kelly. I'd like to thank all of our producers who worked tirelessly, our awesome awesome director, our screenwriter. They all collaborated to make me look good. Or too look bad because there was no makeup on set at all. No makeup. We all looked bad. I'd like to thank my fellow actors who... taught me how to act. Really I showed up not knowing anything. I still hardly know anything. I'm going to call all those tricks up for my next role!
And I'd like to thank everyone here with independent spirit and our studio Lionsgate. Thank you so much!
12:59 I think this is the end. Eddie Izzard never takes a breath and he just makes me laaaaaaauuugh. Wait, what? THREE more awards to go. No fair. I'm ready for the triple Z
1:05 Maggie Gyllenhaal, her right breast, and Ryan Reynolds present Best Actor to Jeff Bridges. Weird but very affectionate moment(s) between Jeff & Maggie during the intro, presentation and acceptance speech.
Weird partially because they played lovers in the movie and their energy in person is ALL daddy and daddy's little girl. So, uh, yeah. Kinda creepy when juxtaposed with scenes from the movie. But I love them both. Jeff's speech is filled with lots of "man"s and "baby"s. He and Mo'Nique should have a conversation. The Dude keeps looking up and talking to dearly departed people. Three of them.
1:11 Jodie Foster and Jeremy Renner look right together. Hmmmmm. J&J rave about Jeff and then they announce Best Director which goes to Lee Daniels for Precious. After a very lengthy giddy trip to the stage (he stops and hugs each Precious star) Jodie gives him a backpat and Jeremy kisses him. Lee Daniels is having a very good night.
He says "Kathryn Bigelow is not here tonight but I am' He is overcome with emotion. He literally says nothing after saying Mo'Nique's name but just tears up. I understand. I saw the performance, too.
1:20 PRECIOUS = BEST PICTURE. The Hurt Locker is probably so glad it held its release a year. Not that I want other movies to follow suit. It avoided the fate of being that Indie Spirit darling which rules over Oscar weekend until the actual Oscars. Of course there are much worse fates than to have a glitzy party with influential peers in your industry celebrating you. Congratulations to Precious! Lee Daniels to his producer (the one with the Mary Jones wardrobe) "Tell all these white people what you gotta say!"