Friday, April 02, 2010

Yes, No, Maybe So: My Own Love Song

I can't really "thank" Guy Lodge for exposing me to the trailer to 2010 Oscar hopeful My Own Love Song starring _________. The horrors unleashed may never be wiped from my eyeball memory. Press play at your own peril!



Until I pressed play, Guy did have me chuckling
Renee sings!
Renee squints!
Renee mopes soulfully in a wheelchair!
I normally attempt to view trailers through the prism of yes (what might be good) no (what scares me) and maybe so (some "this could go either way" factor). It's my small way of combating our hype-loving film culture in which 500 gazillion movie 'fans' watch movie commercials and only a million GO to movies. But how to go "yes, no, maybe so" when within record time (exactly 11.5 seconds) I was in fetal position screaming
"Noooooooooooooooo!!! Dear gods of the cinema. Why?
Why?!!! Whyyyyyyyyy?"
Nevertheless, I must try. You know what to do in the comments. You play, too.

Renée Zellweger stars in My Own Love Song

yes. That part where they hid her face and we could hear the singing (good voice, Zeéeeee)

maybe so. That animated giant bird at the end sharing the screen with the actors is so weird that I wondered for a split second if the movie was a surrealist comedy and if it was fully aware of how ridiculous it is? If so is the acting that way on purpose ???

NO.
The first 11.5 seconds which build yet another solid case that some Oscars should be repossessed... in this case two of them. The next 29.5 seconds where Forest & _______ decide they weren't quite over-acting enough in the first 11.5 seconds and they must make amends and really show us how it's done. The next part where we see the car crash that happened before (obviously) and thus are forced to worry that Olivier Dahan (La Vie En Rose) has still not learned to tell stories in a linear fashion. The next part where we get to the intertitles that would be cute if they weren't overlayed on a film that's already about two quirkly People With Problems. It's all so fucking twee. The next part when you're reminded that Nick Nolte doesn't have an Oscar but that this is one of those movies that wants to remind you that EVERYONE in it is Oscariffic(!) somehow. The next part with all the antic slapstick. The next part where the overacting returns. Staccato. line. readings. forever. The next part where things suddenly get serious (Oooh, gravitas ~ the hoary "sudden reveal of letter!") The next part at 2:11 when Forest & ______ visit the tree from The Fountain. Why I do not want to know. And I will PERSONALLY hold all 5,777 members of the Academy responsible if they force me to watch it by nominating it for anything.
*

44 comments:

City_Of_Lights said...

Yes. Forest Whitaker has so much soul in his face I can forgive his overacting.

Maybe. Might be a good soundtrack to buy online, minus the Zellweger tunes.

No. A good Bob Dylan soundtrack is not a substitute for a good movie. And I liked his Christmas album that everyone and their mother panned. Trailer gives too much away, even though I already knew 2 seconds into it this was supposed to be a quirky movie about quirky people who if they weren't quirky probably wouldn't be friends. Yes, their quirkiness brings them together, tears them apart, and brings them back together. If only my quirks completely changed my life for the better in less than two hours.

Is Nick Nolte supposed to be a wise hobo?

Simon said...

Holy. Shit.

Volvagia said...

So, imagine the worst parts of Local Hero and La Vie En Rose and we have this, right? Twee metaphysics fused with flashback drama...and it's shooting for Oscar. Yikes, at least the similarly stewed Watchmen was reasonable with it's intent (fan oriented). Movies like the one you describe can't shoot for Oscar. They have to be good first.

James T said...

1) Nathaniel, I know it's not very Christianic of me to say this but, please hate more! You are so good at it :p

2) I feel ashamed for two things. First, when I saw this some weeks ago I thought that it might be bad but it might somehow be good. Now, I'm not really sure why I thought that. Second, I predicted Voldemort to get a nomination. I just couldn't really tell whether she is bad or not in the trailer (I still think that intensity might somehow be justified in the context) and this is really baity.

I'm also sorry for predicting Belzebul. I could picture her in that court, giving a grande speech and I didn't see any strong competition. But hey, this could be good because Bening will probably win and it would be nice to see Swank losing to her.

billybil said...

I just threw up on the floor and I like this sort of movie! Thanks a lot Nate.

Arlo said...

Renee doesn't look THAT bad in this movie, but Forest looks out-of-control bad. Embarrassingly so.

Seeking Amy said...

Waiiiiiit a second. Nathaniel I thought you didn't like her singing so do you actually think she sounds good here or am I just missing any sarcasm by my being sick when you said "Good voice, Zeeee"?

As for the film it looks extremely uneven. At times Renee looked to be giving a decent performance and then other times no.

Jude said...

I love Renee! Sorry, had to get it off my chest (possibly agaiN? I don't know if I've confessed that harbored love for Renee in these hallowed comments on filmexperience before).

Lucky said...

This is good news!
If Anette wins next year, we could see both Renee AND Swank losing to her!

But seriously, I'll check this movie out. Zellweger is a good singer, and is capable of giving good performances, so even if this movie is made for Oscar, it shouldn't be dismissed because of that (at least not just yet).

Robert Hamer said...

Oh...oh god...holy...what the..?..

Marsha Mason said...

Nathaniel... I thought you were going a little soft on your adversaries. Nice to see you taking digs at Renee, Hilary, Eastwood. Their careers are arguably waning, so now's the time to go for the kill! We can say we always knew they were never that good to begin with!

On completely unrelated news, happy birthday to four-time Oscar nominee Marsha Mason, who hits the big 68 today.

cal roth said...

This is not going anywhere. It's a The Soloist waiting to happen.

par3182 said...

that's the first trailer i've ever walked out on

mrripley said...

omg!!! never mind renee!!! we already knew she couldn't pick a decent script but forest i have never known an actor throw away his kudos an goodwill since winning an oscar since gooding jr or brody,what is he doing dtv action or dramas no one sees.

fire your agent mr whitaker.

The Know Nothing Know it All said...

Okay...this is a joke, right? I feel like this is a fake trailer for a film that Jenna Maroney would star in. Is this that Jackie Jormp Jomp movie we've been hearing so much about?

Glenn Dunks said...

Wow. That's terrible. Not only does it make the movie look bad, but it's also an incredibly poorly done trailer. Yikes. Awful.

Tikabelle said...

/headdesk

RobUK said...

Is this a spoof of the spoof?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFicqklGuB0

Michael Parsons said...

Was that for real? What a horrid trailer.

NATHANIEL R said...

seeking amy -- it was actually her dancing that i objected to in Chicago. the singing not so much. (though CZJ wiped the floor with her in both ways)

Clarence said...

I seriously thought the only one overacting in the first 30 seconds of the trailer was Forest Whitaker. I was so happy that Renee's eyes were wide open (shocking!!!) that she might not be bad in the movie at all. The only thing that I hated about her was the way she pushed her lips out...Do people really do that when they're frustrated?

Her voice is good though. I see potential in this film. Or maybe I'm just a big Renee fan (shudders...)

NATHANIEL R said...

RobUK. omg. i'd never clicked on that video because i assumed it was one of those videos that was supposed to be funny but wasn't.

but it was! the only nitpick being that it was really a spoof of ALL trailers as opposed to Oscar trailers. but still. funny. funny.

Anonymous said...

so should we from now on judge a movie just from its trailer?

Glenn said...

hah, i love when people bring up that "you can't judge a movie based on the trailer" argument. That is the ENTIRE POINT of a trailer. If we weren't meant to make up our minds on whether to see it based on the trailer then they wouldn't exist. ffs.

NATHANIEL R said...

well that's sort of the whole point of the series that people DO judge movies based on trailers. but the yes, no, maybe so is (USUALLY) a way of admitting that all thigns are possible when we watch the movie. good bad and inbetweeners.

though this looks like one of the worst things ever made so it was a difficult one to approach.

Anonymous said...

Drum roll!!! Let the hate campaign begin.

OtherRobert said...

Oh man. I don't know what you're talking about, Nathaniel. This is going to sweep the Comedy/Musical Golden Globe Categories. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

 Michael said...

To quote Beyonce, this is a disastuh.

Janice said...

I thought you folks were exaggerating - until I watched it. No you were not. There were moments here and there when I thought, this might not be bad, but that is DEFINITELY not what the people who make the trailers want me to be thinking. Like Glenn said, the point of a trailer is to make we want to come to the movie, not stay away. (Assuming I'm in the target audience for said film. I can't imagine who that would be for this one.)

I am glad I stuck around for ZeeZee's vocals though. She's no worse than Jewel was, and if Jewel can cross from music to film (albeit not very successfully) there's no reason Miss Z couldn't do the same.

It was interesting to see her with her eyes fully open though - in terms of appearance she sort of reminded me of a cross between Mariah Carey in Precious and Bork in Dancer in the Dark.

Janice said...

BTW - I have loved me some Forest Whitaker in the past (although his choices have been spotty sometimes) but this is....no, can't forgive this one. Or rather, I can't forgive the director for allowing him to overact that much. And, that must be a record for the number of times I hear a given name ("Joey") repeated in a trailer.

Ben said...

This looks like a movie I might hate when watching it but might make me cry anyways. Then I would hide under the theater seat and feel ashamed that I would cry at such a piece of crap (see: The Blind Side).

Jorge Rodrigues said...

Well, I hadn't seen that trailer yet because I saw another one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4KpZQcSZ2Y

In this one the film looks relatively better. But you can still capture all the "ME WANT OSCAR"-ness of it :)

Aaron said...

I hope we have a scenario back in 1968, where two actresses tie for best actress. In this case, Hilary Swank and Renee Zellweger win for both Betty Anne Waters and My Own Love Song respectively, leaving Annette Bening, Helen Mirren, and Nicole Kidman in the dust.

/3rtfu11 said...

Forest was in The Crying Game – the entire cast has free reign to do whatever they like especially if they’ve earned Oscars – see Jim Broadbent.

cinephile said...

At the beginning of the trailer, I seriously thought that this is something new of Tracey Ullman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3YWN8sXFlU

Extremely funny!

jimmy said...

i can just see renee on the TODAY show, squinting&pursing.....talking about her extensive research with actual people in wheel chairs.

badmotherfucker said...

"...talking about her extensive research with actual people in wheel chairs."

*spits out drink*

OTOH, this may turn out to be the funniest film of the year.

Philip said...

Honestly...after much thought...I can appreciate this for what it is. It's obviously meant to be a quirky kind of movie, with the odd characters and scenarios and the random animated bird, etc. Yes, it does get a little overdone at times, but in a way it helps to understand it all a bit better. In terms of acting, I actually liked Renee-Nay in this. I thought she looked like she was doing a pretty good job. However, Forest...if I've ever seen overacting...that was it. I'm pretty sure Renee will be nom'd for this.

Random: I'll laugh if the Golden Globes considers this musical/comedy simply because she sings a song...I wouldn't be at all surprised though.

Alexis said...

Sensing how the AMPAS members vote on movies these days,Oliver Dahan made a smart move...they will see the trailer and nominate it for several oscars thinking it has everything!

Peggy Sue said...

Oh God! They are so over-acted I can see awards coming their way! Sad.

Anonymous said...

if nicole kidman was in this movie instead of renee, this film would be a masterpiece!

Lorenzo said...

OMG, this movie will be horrendous, a long badly-written de-ja vu... Personally, I despise Forest Whitaker even more than Renee Zellweger (I know, I know, I just can't stand him!) so it's just a NO NO NO! I'm just sorry my english isn't good enough to fully express my horror...

caffeinekiddo said...

Yes: Nothing.

Maybe: Forest Whitaker. Only because he's done great movies in the past and doesn't annoy the hell out of me.

No: The entire thing. Oscar hopeful? If this gets anywhere near the Kodak, the movie or its squishy face "star", I will lose all faith in the Academy.

Anonymous said...

You need to collect more stuff, dude.