Tuesday, May 01, 2007

TTT: Lesley Ann Warren

Since I don't have my normal access to time and photoshop, Tuesday Top Ten today is a pity party story of yours truly. I wasn't actually due @ Indianapolis until today but I flew in two days early because Lesley Ann Warren was going to be at this party for the 10th anniversary of Going All The Way (which also curiously marked my 10th anniversary of semi regular film festival attendance since I saw that feature at Sundance 10 whole years ago) So, yeah, flew in 48 hours early to meet Lesley Ann -- I'm that way when it comes to actresses. Anyhow... her being a celebrity she didn't show to the party. She didn't even show in Indianapolis. But perhaps it was for the best...

Ten Embarrassing Things Nathaniel Might Have Done Upon Meeting Lesley Ann Warren

awkward icebreakers

10 Told her about the festival volunteer who said "Who is Lesley Ann Warren?" in all sincerity when I expressed excitement about meeting her. Comfortable!

09 Waited impatiently for any anecdote from anyone at the party that included the line "too make a long story short..." so I could interrupting shout "TOO LATE!" like Lesley & I were reenacting Clue. Movie stars surely love to relive ancient movie jokes.

08 Confessed that I always play Miss Scarlett in "Clue". If some evil soul snatches her up first: I go with Green, White, Plum, Peacock, or Mustard...in that order.

07 Demanded to speak to her manager about her abundant "mom of...", cameos, and tv guest spots. Musicals are back --look into it. Get it together manager 'o' Lesley!

inappropriate & inebriated

06 Told her about the time my friend and I (parents safely asleep) tried to freeze frame a VHS copy of Choose Me to catch a glimpse of Keith Carradine's goodies. We were unsuccessful: maybe she can fill us in on what we missed?

05 Demanded a play by play of A Night in Heaven particulary the scene where Christopher Atkins (playing her student who just happens to be a local lusted after stripper and he's hot for teacher too -scandal!) shoves her hand down his pants. That was so not "simulated"...details, Lesley, details.

04 (Still drunk) Asked if she still gets mistaken for Susan Sarandon (an 80s problem) and for the charming follow up question: please rank your jealousy re: your divergent 90s careers on a scale of 1 to 10.

Descent into Victor/Victoria madness

03 Bombarded her with endless questions about Oscar night March 1983 despite our conversation taking place in April 2007. (Perhaps cried salty 40 proof tears when describing her loss. She so deserved it.)

02 Proclaimed in best Norma Cassady voice "Lesley--iiiIII'm Horny!"

01 Refused to leave her side until she agreed to call me "Pooky"

*

6 comments:

Sam said...

I'd say "Me with a woman? Nevah." My absolute favorite Leslie Ann Warren scene. And my favorite Robert Preston scene, for that matter.

Then I'd gush about Cinderella.

StinkyLulu said...

F'n hilarious.

Marius said...

Interesting. I was just discussing Victor/Victoria with a friend the other day.

JA said...

I can't believe she didn't show! Anyway, as you more-than-fully illustrated, perhaps that really was for the best, Nat. You don't need yet another restraining order lobbed in your direction. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading this so much. And recognised myself in it perhaps way TOO much! (Everyone has their own Lesley Ann Warrens.)

Rob

Kamikaze Camel said...

Oh man, Leslie in Clue is some of the funniest stuff in the history of cinema, no kidding.