Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Hump Day Hotties: Scarjo & Ryan


Breaking News! Well, yesterday it was. Or the day before. What? This isn't a news site. okay let's start over.

Breaking News: Body parts now legally allowed to marry. Congratulations to the newly engaged couple, Abs & Boobs.


Sorry for the juvenalia but Ryan Reynolds abs freak me out. He's so impossibly sculpted I worry that he's actually a Terminator sent from the future to kill Linda Hamilton's son. The torso can't be real. He's a killer sex model of some sort: a T-3069. Scarlett Johansson we already know is inhuman or cloned to be everywhere at once, sent to enslave the whole world with her cartoon sized super-powered bosom, deep come hither voice and sensual lips. She's real, just multiplied.


...and for a little send off here's ScarJo getting dolled up for nothing in particular behind the scenes --it's her music video for "Falling Down"

Scarlett plays beautiful/bored so well, don'cha think? Flashes of Lost in Translation there in her familiar lethargically pretty mode. Websters is My Bitch is less kind and Candy Kirby is distraught.
*

16 comments:

sora said...

Hey, what about his awesome boobs???

;)

Harry Lime said...

Love the new masthead pictures, mostly 'cuz you got Monsieur Haneke on it.

I recognize Pedro Almodóvar, Ridley Scott, Alfred Hitchcock, Christopher Nolan, but don't recognize the female director. Is it Lynn Ramsay?

NATHANIEL R said...

jane campion

Nick Davis said...

Now this is funny, because of the Harry Lime comment, but you know I just did a wheelie in the air when I saw Jane up top there. Literally, all my wheels were off the ground at once.

I should say something to keep this comment on-topic. How about: please stop photo-shopping Ryan Reynolds' head onto my body. It's amateur. Everyone can see what you're doing. The bullet-wound in my right pec is the giveaway.

JA said...

Dude! I thought the exact same thing, regarding a marriage between abs and boobs. I almost did a post yesterday morphing his abs with her boobs to create what their baby would look like! We're thought-twins! ;-)

NATHANIEL R said...

god Nick, chicago's getting more dangerous all the time! wear body armor next time you go out

sora --i believe they're made of titanium alloy. If he's not a T-3069 he's a projectile from Stark Industries. You can see their stamp on his backside if you're lucky enough to see his backside.

ja i don't even need to type anything. We can read each other's minds

Peter Nellhaus said...

I was going to say something snarky like "ScarJo and Ryan are getting fashion advice from Brit and KFed", but I shall remain mum.

Boyd said...

Erm... sorry to be completely OT too, but an A- for Reprise???????

Yay! You made my day. Please convince all your readers in the US to go and see it, like, now!!

Robert said...

I give this marraige 3 years, or until Scarlett Johansson meets me.

Whichever comes first.

NATHANIEL R said...

Robert --there's enough of her to go round what with all the clones running about shilling product while others are on set filming. I'm guessing the original is the one enjoying Reynold's Abs.

SecretMargo said...

Honestly, I like Scarlett more than most, but Holly Cole's album of Waits covers blows hers out of the water, especially on this song. Everybody buy it now if you're tempted to buy Scarlett's, for perspective's sake if for no other.

(ps: I promise I'm not secretly Ms. Cole)

(Or Ms. Morrisette, for that matter)

NATHANIEL R said...

I've added some bonafide TOM WAITS in the sidebar in case anybody wants the real thing. I love his work.

Catherine said...

Yay, Tom Waits. You can never get enough Waits, my personal favourite is Nighthawks at the Diner. Not a bad actor either.

JS said...

Maybe he really is a Terminator sent from the future to marry ScarJo and end the dreams of many men?

J.D. said...

... which will, in turn, lead to the Apocalypse.

It all makes sense now!

crazycris said...

My reaction to ScarJo is: UGH!

although for the first time in a long time I wasn't upset by her performance in The Other Boleyn Girl

but most of the time her acting (or lack of it) gets on my nerves! (Scoop! = shiver!!!)